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Oh. My. Sweetlordjesusgod.
What the hell have they done to you?
Change the best programme in the world? Yeah, good move morons.
I saw the 'amazing new' Bernard's Watch today .... terrible stuff.
I'd like to lay before you the painful facts of the crime against quality television. And then you can scream and make an official complaint to ITV on these corrupted issues!1 Or whatever ...
1) Opening credits - for a start, it's not even the proper fashion-icon Bernard any more. Buh. No more walking through a field, and finding the watch at the end of a rainbow ... oh no ... the watch flies down from heaven and onto the new gimp's pillow.
Yeah, there's no spiffy 'postman' this time - just some kid given a special time-stopping watch for no reason, with no moral contraints on its use. What kind of message is this sending to our children!?
And it's called, simpley, rubbishly, "Bernard"
Like the watch doesn't even matter any more.
2) First few mintues - Bernard (bah, imposter) saves a doggie from getting run over! Good work, son, good work.
Then we see what is apparently the headmaster of his school finishing a little circular school motif on the floor, with the school's name in it, in some wet concrete. No hired help, oh no, and no warning to the pupils of the wet concrete underfoot.
Then, surprise surprise, in strolls Bernard and his new geek friend, and right into the concrete. And then the doggie comes back too.
Only one thing to do ... stop time, there's a good lad.
Now what? Here's where it all goes rubbish:
He's established his hatred for the dog already, so in frozen time, surely just get rid of it somewhere? Oh no, put in ... er ... oh yes, in your bag. Smart move, genius.
And then ... he changes his shoes because of the concrete. Yeah, fair enough. But for some reason, idiot child leaves his shoes by the school bins. Er ... why?
And it gets worse ...
Despite geek friend being frozen before ... he suddenly seems in on the whole gig. And when neo-Bern stops time, he remains unfrozen ... I mean, wtf!1 That's not how it works.
Anyway ... oh, a few shocking school-related problems (I mean, look at this terrible example to out children):
1) There's two teachers in the whole place ... the headteacher-cum-handyman and neo-Bern's teacher (who, as obvious within 2 seconds, is the dog's owner) neither of which are in a classroom for more than 2 minutes at a time ... leaving the class completely unattended for the whole day!1 Education standards must be pitiful.
2) Then ... they completely fail to see any pupil's (5 in total) sudden time-frozen or otherwise dissapearance from the class. And, upon seeing them in the halls, simply walk past with no questions about their aimless wondering.
Excellent work, guys.
More of neo-Bern's moronities:
- Upon being chased by a group of spiteful girls ... he doesn't freeze time? No, he runs like some non-magic-watch aided normal person, the great idiot.
- Aforementioned failure to dispose of dog.
- Unfreezing time when he absense from classes / sudden dissaperances into nowhere would have been noticed right away by all those around. No like proper Bernard, who always got back to where he was before unfreezing time. Sensible lad.
- Not being proper Bernard, nor having his fashion sense, nor his intelligence and time-related morals.
- Gimp.
Sucky, sucky, sucky.
I hope you all complain, for the future of our children.
Bah.
I'm so sad ... in so many ways.
What the hell have they done to you?
Change the best programme in the world? Yeah, good move morons.
I saw the 'amazing new' Bernard's Watch today .... terrible stuff.
I'd like to lay before you the painful facts of the crime against quality television. And then you can scream and make an official complaint to ITV on these corrupted issues!1 Or whatever ...
1) Opening credits - for a start, it's not even the proper fashion-icon Bernard any more. Buh. No more walking through a field, and finding the watch at the end of a rainbow ... oh no ... the watch flies down from heaven and onto the new gimp's pillow.
Yeah, there's no spiffy 'postman' this time - just some kid given a special time-stopping watch for no reason, with no moral contraints on its use. What kind of message is this sending to our children!?
And it's called, simpley, rubbishly, "Bernard"
Like the watch doesn't even matter any more.
2) First few mintues - Bernard (bah, imposter) saves a doggie from getting run over! Good work, son, good work.
Then we see what is apparently the headmaster of his school finishing a little circular school motif on the floor, with the school's name in it, in some wet concrete. No hired help, oh no, and no warning to the pupils of the wet concrete underfoot.
Then, surprise surprise, in strolls Bernard and his new geek friend, and right into the concrete. And then the doggie comes back too.
Only one thing to do ... stop time, there's a good lad.
Now what? Here's where it all goes rubbish:
He's established his hatred for the dog already, so in frozen time, surely just get rid of it somewhere? Oh no, put in ... er ... oh yes, in your bag. Smart move, genius.
And then ... he changes his shoes because of the concrete. Yeah, fair enough. But for some reason, idiot child leaves his shoes by the school bins. Er ... why?
And it gets worse ...
Despite geek friend being frozen before ... he suddenly seems in on the whole gig. And when neo-Bern stops time, he remains unfrozen ... I mean, wtf!1 That's not how it works.
Anyway ... oh, a few shocking school-related problems (I mean, look at this terrible example to out children):
1) There's two teachers in the whole place ... the headteacher-cum-handyman and neo-Bern's teacher (who, as obvious within 2 seconds, is the dog's owner) neither of which are in a classroom for more than 2 minutes at a time ... leaving the class completely unattended for the whole day!1 Education standards must be pitiful.
2) Then ... they completely fail to see any pupil's (5 in total) sudden time-frozen or otherwise dissapearance from the class. And, upon seeing them in the halls, simply walk past with no questions about their aimless wondering.
Excellent work, guys.
More of neo-Bern's moronities:
- Upon being chased by a group of spiteful girls ... he doesn't freeze time? No, he runs like some non-magic-watch aided normal person, the great idiot.
- Aforementioned failure to dispose of dog.
- Unfreezing time when he absense from classes / sudden dissaperances into nowhere would have been noticed right away by all those around. No like proper Bernard, who always got back to where he was before unfreezing time. Sensible lad.
- Not being proper Bernard, nor having his fashion sense, nor his intelligence and time-related morals.
- Gimp.
Sucky, sucky, sucky.
I hope you all complain, for the future of our children.
Bah.
I'm so sad ... in so many ways.
Page:
Alfonse wrote:
> I'd freeze time and never unfreeze it.
I'd do the same thing, except I would eventually unfreeze it, once I'd worked out a way of using it to control the world.
> I'd freeze time and never unfreeze it.
I'd do the same thing, except I would eventually unfreeze it, once I'd worked out a way of using it to control the world.
You have to admit though. Screech is pretty good as the policeman.
It's like 'Saved by the Bell: The New Class' all over again.
:' (
:' (
I have seen a couple of episodes, and preferred the old version.
they messed it up, much like the same with Blockbusters.
what vultures would tamper with gameshow/kids-drama history?
Desperate losers.
they messed it up, much like the same with Blockbusters.
what vultures would tamper with gameshow/kids-drama history?
Desperate losers.
Yeah, good old Jack McKenzie.
[URL]http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0171980/[/URL]
[URL]http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0171980/[/URL]
Errr Postman.
But then the postman would come and beat you. Then he'd take the watch off you and you'd cry.
I'd freeze time and never unfreeze it.
Rai wrote:
> Communist Jim wrote:
> Alfonse wrote:
> I wish I had benard's watch.
>
> Same here.
> I could ace all of my exams using that thing.
>
> But it would make the exams ever longer! Plus, you're bound to get
> caught. If you suddenly shift in your seat, and someone spots you
> playing with a watch in your pocket, then you'll draw attention.
Thats why I would have it under my uniform, and everytime I wanted to start/stop time I would be messing with my nipples.
No one would question that.
> Communist Jim wrote:
> Alfonse wrote:
> I wish I had benard's watch.
>
> Same here.
> I could ace all of my exams using that thing.
>
> But it would make the exams ever longer! Plus, you're bound to get
> caught. If you suddenly shift in your seat, and someone spots you
> playing with a watch in your pocket, then you'll draw attention.
Thats why I would have it under my uniform, and everytime I wanted to start/stop time I would be messing with my nipples.
No one would question that.
I miss the pain you can see in original Bernard's eyes when he is forced to hold that grin for 10 seconds in the opening.
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