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Christian groups have once again been left disappointed after a spokesman for Jesus Christ confirmed that he's further postponing the Second Coming.
The news comes hot on the heels of Microsoft's official announcement of the Xbox 360, rumoured for release in the USA in November. The 360 is a far better looking machine than the original Xbox, but it's not the aesthetics that are thought to be the problem. It's one of the games - Perfect Dark.
"I know the people have been waiting for him, but J.C.'s been waiting for this game a helluva long time, " said Gabriel, speaking for the Son of God, "and the official announcement of the Xbox 360 brings its release significantly closer. Maybe when he's finished with that he'll be ready to bring salvation to the world."
Jesus could well be disappointed though, if the history of this long awaited sequel is anything to go by. The original game (which scored a whopping 9.8 at IGN) was released in 2000, and ever since the sequel has thought to be in touching distance. Initial rumours claimed that a swift second game in the series would even appear on the Nintendo 64, but as interest in the console plummeted it was thought that the game would be moved to Nintendo's N64 successor, the Gamecube. However, changes were afoot in Rare, the developers of the game, when Microsoft bought the company as an exclusive second party developer for the Xbox. Given that this was early in the life of the console it was assumed that the follow up to Perfect Dark would appear on it at some point in its life.
Another Angel, who asked not to be named, spoke of the strain this game has but on the father-son relationship; "Jesus had been going to see God everyday, begging him to use his omnipotence to leak details of the game to him. Trouble is God's a Ninty and still bitter about Rare jumping ship, so he wouldn't say a word."
Apparently Jesus was sweating bucket-loads of holy water when the name 'Perfect Dark Zero' was announced, but then it all went quiet again and JC was forced to bathe in his disappointment. The prospect of the game on the 360 though, will no doubt have him creaming in his pants (or loose-fitting robes). He, like all of us, will be keeping a close eye on next week's E3, hoping, no, praying to finally see something solid about this game.
The news comes hot on the heels of Microsoft's official announcement of the Xbox 360, rumoured for release in the USA in November. The 360 is a far better looking machine than the original Xbox, but it's not the aesthetics that are thought to be the problem. It's one of the games - Perfect Dark.
"I know the people have been waiting for him, but J.C.'s been waiting for this game a helluva long time, " said Gabriel, speaking for the Son of God, "and the official announcement of the Xbox 360 brings its release significantly closer. Maybe when he's finished with that he'll be ready to bring salvation to the world."
Jesus could well be disappointed though, if the history of this long awaited sequel is anything to go by. The original game (which scored a whopping 9.8 at IGN) was released in 2000, and ever since the sequel has thought to be in touching distance. Initial rumours claimed that a swift second game in the series would even appear on the Nintendo 64, but as interest in the console plummeted it was thought that the game would be moved to Nintendo's N64 successor, the Gamecube. However, changes were afoot in Rare, the developers of the game, when Microsoft bought the company as an exclusive second party developer for the Xbox. Given that this was early in the life of the console it was assumed that the follow up to Perfect Dark would appear on it at some point in its life.
Another Angel, who asked not to be named, spoke of the strain this game has but on the father-son relationship; "Jesus had been going to see God everyday, begging him to use his omnipotence to leak details of the game to him. Trouble is God's a Ninty and still bitter about Rare jumping ship, so he wouldn't say a word."
Apparently Jesus was sweating bucket-loads of holy water when the name 'Perfect Dark Zero' was announced, but then it all went quiet again and JC was forced to bathe in his disappointment. The prospect of the game on the 360 though, will no doubt have him creaming in his pants (or loose-fitting robes). He, like all of us, will be keeping a close eye on next week's E3, hoping, no, praying to finally see something solid about this game.
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Vin Diesel can now photosynthisise.
Vin Diesel conqered Constantinople for the Turks in 1453 after the Byzantine emperor said his head was misshapen.
I could go on forever too.
:)
I could go on forever too.
:)
Vin Diesel is banned from World of Warcraft because he once put fourty thousand copper chain pants in separate auctions. Every one was sold, but the server load caused the entire cluster to go down for over a week.
*hears WoW fans gasp and then cheer*
Oh yeah, forgot to post. Good stuff MD.
*hears WoW fans gasp and then cheer*
Oh yeah, forgot to post. Good stuff MD.
Vin Diesel's willpower is solid matter with a melting point equal to the temperature at the center of the sun. Portions of his willpower has been sold to several solar systems with dying suns, so that the extraterrestrial beings living there could start over "and make a proper go of it this time." The proceeds from these sales were used to build Vin a fortress of solitude in the ice caps at the north pole, where he now goes to practice speed-eating railroad spikes.
I just got this.
:S
I just got this.
:S
That Vin Diesel generator is excellent :D
Vin Diesel taught the Kool-Aid Man how to burst through walls.
Merely by flexing his left arm, Vin Diesel once caused an entire busload of nuns to spontaneously combust.
Vin Diesel's eyebrow hair has sufficient tensile strength to construct a tower high enough to climb to Heaven. The only reason Vin has not done this is that he can already jump sufficiently high using an ordinary pogo stick.
Vin Diesel has pulled off a ten-hit combo in Tekken.
Contrary to popular belief, Vin Diesel, not the Emancipation Proclamation, set the slaves free years before the Civil War. The Civil War was actually just a clan battle between L1nc0ln and xx_J3ff3rs0n_xx, which Vin Diesel won anyway.
I could go on all day :'}
Vin Diesel taught the Kool-Aid Man how to burst through walls.
Merely by flexing his left arm, Vin Diesel once caused an entire busload of nuns to spontaneously combust.
Vin Diesel's eyebrow hair has sufficient tensile strength to construct a tower high enough to climb to Heaven. The only reason Vin has not done this is that he can already jump sufficiently high using an ordinary pogo stick.
Vin Diesel has pulled off a ten-hit combo in Tekken.
Contrary to popular belief, Vin Diesel, not the Emancipation Proclamation, set the slaves free years before the Civil War. The Civil War was actually just a clan battle between L1nc0ln and xx_J3ff3rs0n_xx, which Vin Diesel won anyway.
I could go on all day :'}
Jesus was in the sky yesterday.
Ooh, the Vin Diesel random fact generator is back. (which is where the pasghetti came from in the first place)
[URL]http://www.4q.cc/vin/[/URL]
[URL]http://www.4q.cc/vin/[/URL]
I used to say 'doodies' instead of potatoes.
Stupid child.
Stupid child.
Vin Diesel??? *looks around* Where now? :p
Hang on ... *thinks* ... I can't remember ever seeing the missus' niece and Vin Diesel together - when one's there the other one's missing.
Hmm ...
Hmm ...
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