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"I had a heart attack"

I came home from work and ate 6 slices of crisp bacon then ate a massive bar of chocolate.

So there I was enjoying my grease filled morning when a massive pain swept across my chest, every breath tightened Satan's grip on my heart before I was on the floor praying to Allah for forgivness.

Then it went away and I had a Gold bar, I like Caramac.

Oh no sheepy your heart has stopped beating! You need to get a new one I suggest the lonely hearts column in the paper, they seem to have a god selection.

SHEEPY wrote:
> I came home from work and ate 6 slices of crisp bacon then ate a
> massive bar of chocolate.
>
> So there I was enjoying my grease filled morning when a massive pain
> swept across my chest, every breath tightened Satan's grip on my
> heart before I was on the floor praying to Allah for forgivness.
>
> Then it went away and I had a Gold bar, I like Caramac.

I've had that, its called heartburn...

You fat pigs

Nice to know that there are people here with worse eating habits than me...

Yesterday I had a Tesco's fry-up, followed by a big bag of Golden Wonder Skins, then a whole tub of Ben 'n' Jerry's Cookie Dough ice cream, then the cinema, then I finished the ice cream and had half of the other bag of crisps. Fat little toad.

Or clog them even further?

I think I might make some custard.

Lubricate those arteries a bit.

Lol. Shep.

To be fair I do tend to over-exagerate.

Even when I'm in the room myself.

WHY CANT WE LOOK THE OTHER WAY

And Shep, just grow a pair and stop moaning.