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It seems that scamsters on eBay have taken quite a liking to my phone, so I've decided not just to sign them up for gay porn mailing lists, but to string them along in a humourous fashion. Hopefully, with your inputs, this can become quite a prank.
It begun with this message:
Q: Hello seller, Am a naval officer,residing in usa. i will like to buy your phone as a gift for my grandson,who's farther works for the unicef african capter in nigeria, so i need to get it as a matter of urgency, since his so crazy about these phone and now has new friends, So I will like to know what you are asking for your phone .and will like to know how old and new it is, I will pay for it through bidpay money order, since it is faster and get's approved in a maximum period of hours.so i will want you to advise the name and physical address where the payment will be sent to and a valid email address for confirmation payment to be sent. But before then,I'll like to know, how soon can it be ready for shipment,cos i will want it to get to him by first week oy may . thanks. expecting your reply. [reply me with a valid e-mail address] Can i offer you £250 for this phone?
My reply, using the same hilariously bad English he used, so he can understand it:
Hello mrmarkbeckham, I would very like much lots sell phone to you, we have a great deal like the deal that that film with Brad Pitt, do you like that film? The phone will come with a charge, battery and lots of fun, yes? Bidpay sounds very safe system, we should use it very much, I need money quickly because my dog needs an operation for his liver. I hope your grandson can get his phone very soon, he needs ring his friends and party HAHAHAH! I can post the item very soon, in a matter of minutes I think! What information do you need from me to complete the payment my good friend?
Hope we conversation soon.
Kyle.
Update:
He's written back, sucker.
hello,
thanks very much for your reply.well i will really have the phone sent to my
grandson in nigeria,plz i will like to have your details for payment via bidpay
asap.cos i will need your details for payment to be done.plz kindly send me your
details for payment....
full name
street address
city
state
zip code
country
and a valid email address for confirmation of payment from bidpay.with all this
payment will be made asap,via bidpay.
thanks.
reply expected.
Just wondering which direction to take this in, hmm.
----
My cordial reply - the name/address spells "SUCKER" downwards - wonder if he'll notice.
---
Hello Mr. Mark Beckahm my good friend!
I can't wait for your grandson to get this phone, he will like it a lot. I included on it pictures of Britney Spears and similar POP MUSIC sensations, I hope that he will like them a lot. My details I include kindly to yourself are found on the below:
Sir Kyle McGuiver:
Underly House
Campton Road
Kirkdale
ED14 2JP
Republic of Ireland
For my valid email address please use [email protected]
Thank you my good friend I hope we will be in touch soon and bidpay will be in touch with me about the payment yes?
Many thanks my friend.
Kyle.
--------------------------------
And, lo-and-behold, he didnt get the "sucker" acronym. No, instead he replied:
hello,
thanks very much for your details.i will contact
bidpay for the payment rite away.plz once you receive
a confirmation from bidpay,alert me.and plz i will
like to know the shipping agency whcih you will like
to use to send the phone.
thanks.
---------------------------------------
Update:
Dear Sir Kyle McGuiver,
A £250.00 money order for payment of eBay item#6389749438 - Nokia
3200 has been approved. Mark Beckam has chosen to use BidPay®Auction
Payments
for the speed of an online payment service from a name you can trust.
You can now send the item to the buyer while your money order is on
its way to you. The buyer's shipping information is provided below.
Your money order will be sent by the close of the next business day
after you receive this email. First Class mail is typically
delivered
within 5-7 business days.
Shipping information:
NAME : Sylvanus Anusiem
ADDRESS : Agbala Postal Agency
CITY : Owerri
STATE : Imo State
POSTAL CODE: 23483
COUNTRY : Nigeria
--------------------------------------------
I left it for a while because I've been busy and I got this rather urgent email today
--------------------------------------------
HELLO,
WHAT IS GOING ON OVER THERE?I HAVE MADE PAYMENT FOR YOUR PHONE AND I HAVE NOT HAD
FROM YOU SINCE,WHAT ARE TRYING TO DO.CAN PLZ GET BACK TO ME ASAP,B4 I GO AHEAD TO
CONTACT BIDPAY.YOU WILL BE INVESTIGATED.SORRY IF I SOUND RUDE.
----------------------------------------------
Oh no, dont let Bidpay investigate me! I haven't received any kind of payment but please don't get me in trouble for not sending you my item you gimp. NO NO NO!
And my reply
Hello MrMarkBestham,
I have problem!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I go to Bidpay to find shipping details for your phone for your favourite grandsone in Nigeria and I got a message on my screen:
"You must have cookies enabled to view this page"
I don't know what sort of scam you're running but I am not going to but cookies into my computer. Besides, my young Swedish flatmate ate the last of the cookies we had.
I cannot post the phone until we reach a non-biscuit-based agreement.
Sorry for any inconvenience.
Kyle.
----------------------------------
The anticipation mounts
----------------------------------
and we have a reply
hello.
the problem must bne fron your computer,it normally
happens like that.plz try an shipe the item out and
let me have the shipping details at once.never
worry,thats not a problem.
-----------------------------
I will try and shipe the item, I'm going to creatively work out what "shipe" means, though.
------------------------------
My eventual reply was...
Hello Mark,
I contacted Bidpay to tell them I wanted to ship the item out but they said they do not offer that service, I think some of their employees are scared of the ocean. They told me I can either send the item by courier or by airmale, I think airmale sounds a bit suspicious, I knew a man that send a parcel by airmale once and it took 3 months to arrive. Anyway please tell me which method you would like me to send the item to you with so I can contact bidpay.
Also I hope the payment arrives soon, my Dog's liver problem is getting worse. He is very unwell and keeps being sick on the sofa because he cannot digest any food.
Thank you my friend
Kyle.
-------------------------------
How can he ignore my poor, poor dog? He's inhuman!
Wonder what his reponse will be...
---
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Ideas welcomed.
Now if you have any fun ideas about how I can make a fool of him, trip him up or generally annoy him, let me know please :-)
It begun with this message:
Q: Hello seller, Am a naval officer,residing in usa. i will like to buy your phone as a gift for my grandson,who's farther works for the unicef african capter in nigeria, so i need to get it as a matter of urgency, since his so crazy about these phone and now has new friends, So I will like to know what you are asking for your phone .and will like to know how old and new it is, I will pay for it through bidpay money order, since it is faster and get's approved in a maximum period of hours.so i will want you to advise the name and physical address where the payment will be sent to and a valid email address for confirmation payment to be sent. But before then,I'll like to know, how soon can it be ready for shipment,cos i will want it to get to him by first week oy may . thanks. expecting your reply. [reply me with a valid e-mail address] Can i offer you £250 for this phone?
My reply, using the same hilariously bad English he used, so he can understand it:
Hello mrmarkbeckham, I would very like much lots sell phone to you, we have a great deal like the deal that that film with Brad Pitt, do you like that film? The phone will come with a charge, battery and lots of fun, yes? Bidpay sounds very safe system, we should use it very much, I need money quickly because my dog needs an operation for his liver. I hope your grandson can get his phone very soon, he needs ring his friends and party HAHAHAH! I can post the item very soon, in a matter of minutes I think! What information do you need from me to complete the payment my good friend?
Hope we conversation soon.
Kyle.
Update:
He's written back, sucker.
hello,
thanks very much for your reply.well i will really have the phone sent to my
grandson in nigeria,plz i will like to have your details for payment via bidpay
asap.cos i will need your details for payment to be done.plz kindly send me your
details for payment....
full name
street address
city
state
zip code
country
and a valid email address for confirmation of payment from bidpay.with all this
payment will be made asap,via bidpay.
thanks.
reply expected.
Just wondering which direction to take this in, hmm.
----
My cordial reply - the name/address spells "SUCKER" downwards - wonder if he'll notice.
---
Hello Mr. Mark Beckahm my good friend!
I can't wait for your grandson to get this phone, he will like it a lot. I included on it pictures of Britney Spears and similar POP MUSIC sensations, I hope that he will like them a lot. My details I include kindly to yourself are found on the below:
Sir Kyle McGuiver:
Underly House
Campton Road
Kirkdale
ED14 2JP
Republic of Ireland
For my valid email address please use [email protected]
Thank you my good friend I hope we will be in touch soon and bidpay will be in touch with me about the payment yes?
Many thanks my friend.
Kyle.
--------------------------------
And, lo-and-behold, he didnt get the "sucker" acronym. No, instead he replied:
hello,
thanks very much for your details.i will contact
bidpay for the payment rite away.plz once you receive
a confirmation from bidpay,alert me.and plz i will
like to know the shipping agency whcih you will like
to use to send the phone.
thanks.
---------------------------------------
Update:
Dear Sir Kyle McGuiver,
A £250.00 money order for payment of eBay item#6389749438 - Nokia
3200 has been approved. Mark Beckam has chosen to use BidPay®Auction
Payments
for the speed of an online payment service from a name you can trust.
You can now send the item to the buyer while your money order is on
its way to you. The buyer's shipping information is provided below.
Your money order will be sent by the close of the next business day
after you receive this email. First Class mail is typically
delivered
within 5-7 business days.
Shipping information:
NAME : Sylvanus Anusiem
ADDRESS : Agbala Postal Agency
CITY : Owerri
STATE : Imo State
POSTAL CODE: 23483
COUNTRY : Nigeria
--------------------------------------------
I left it for a while because I've been busy and I got this rather urgent email today
--------------------------------------------
HELLO,
WHAT IS GOING ON OVER THERE?I HAVE MADE PAYMENT FOR YOUR PHONE AND I HAVE NOT HAD
FROM YOU SINCE,WHAT ARE TRYING TO DO.CAN PLZ GET BACK TO ME ASAP,B4 I GO AHEAD TO
CONTACT BIDPAY.YOU WILL BE INVESTIGATED.SORRY IF I SOUND RUDE.
----------------------------------------------
Oh no, dont let Bidpay investigate me! I haven't received any kind of payment but please don't get me in trouble for not sending you my item you gimp. NO NO NO!
And my reply
Hello MrMarkBestham,
I have problem!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I go to Bidpay to find shipping details for your phone for your favourite grandsone in Nigeria and I got a message on my screen:
"You must have cookies enabled to view this page"
I don't know what sort of scam you're running but I am not going to but cookies into my computer. Besides, my young Swedish flatmate ate the last of the cookies we had.
I cannot post the phone until we reach a non-biscuit-based agreement.
Sorry for any inconvenience.
Kyle.
----------------------------------
The anticipation mounts
----------------------------------
and we have a reply
hello.
the problem must bne fron your computer,it normally
happens like that.plz try an shipe the item out and
let me have the shipping details at once.never
worry,thats not a problem.
-----------------------------
I will try and shipe the item, I'm going to creatively work out what "shipe" means, though.
------------------------------
My eventual reply was...
Hello Mark,
I contacted Bidpay to tell them I wanted to ship the item out but they said they do not offer that service, I think some of their employees are scared of the ocean. They told me I can either send the item by courier or by airmale, I think airmale sounds a bit suspicious, I knew a man that send a parcel by airmale once and it took 3 months to arrive. Anyway please tell me which method you would like me to send the item to you with so I can contact bidpay.
Also I hope the payment arrives soon, my Dog's liver problem is getting worse. He is very unwell and keeps being sick on the sofa because he cannot digest any food.
Thank you my friend
Kyle.
-------------------------------
How can he ignore my poor, poor dog? He's inhuman!
Wonder what his reponse will be...
---
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Ideas welcomed.
Now if you have any fun ideas about how I can make a fool of him, trip him up or generally annoy him, let me know please :-)
Page:
updated :-)
lcarus wrote:
> Still a bit weird that Jeff was never heard from again. Hell, he might
> have been hunted down.
Dyslexic London gangsters should never be messed with!
> Still a bit weird that Jeff was never heard from again. Hell, he might
> have been hunted down.
Dyslexic London gangsters should never be messed with!
Still a bit weird that Jeff was never heard from again. Hell, he might have been hunted down.
"your name here" wrote:
> you should read the Timewaster letters and written in jest!
>
> personally, play along. when he gives you the address (which no doubt
> will be an untraceable box number) send him the biggest picture of
> David Hasselhoffs face thst you can afford.
>
> he'll pay for shipping, and at best, be confused by it all.
>
> or as he is paying for shipping, find an old box. pack a tramp in it
> first then go to his curior, if you can't find a tramp. just fill it
> with crap so it's nice and heavy.
Um, they're not gonna pay for it, that's the point of the scam. You think they're paying for it but they're not. Kyle isn't just screwing over a genuine buyer for the fun of it.
> I managaged to get a Steve Aloma (the emperor of some bizaar country
> to phone my +44 mobile number, he wanted to donate some money into my
> account as his family were held hostage or some rubbish like that.
>
> I made him repeat everything twice and was quite chatty on the phone
> up until he wanted my account details when I told him I wasn't that
> stupid and hung up. We were on the phone for a good 20 minutes.
>
> he declared me an english a-hole :'-(
If you're going to make stuff up, at least make it believeable. That was all crap and you know it, plus you made yourself look like an even bigger idiot by making it sound as if you believed it was the 'emperor of some bizaar country.'
> you should read the Timewaster letters and written in jest!
>
> personally, play along. when he gives you the address (which no doubt
> will be an untraceable box number) send him the biggest picture of
> David Hasselhoffs face thst you can afford.
>
> he'll pay for shipping, and at best, be confused by it all.
>
> or as he is paying for shipping, find an old box. pack a tramp in it
> first then go to his curior, if you can't find a tramp. just fill it
> with crap so it's nice and heavy.
Um, they're not gonna pay for it, that's the point of the scam. You think they're paying for it but they're not. Kyle isn't just screwing over a genuine buyer for the fun of it.
> I managaged to get a Steve Aloma (the emperor of some bizaar country
> to phone my +44 mobile number, he wanted to donate some money into my
> account as his family were held hostage or some rubbish like that.
>
> I made him repeat everything twice and was quite chatty on the phone
> up until he wanted my account details when I told him I wasn't that
> stupid and hung up. We were on the phone for a good 20 minutes.
>
> he declared me an english a-hole :'-(
If you're going to make stuff up, at least make it believeable. That was all crap and you know it, plus you made yourself look like an even bigger idiot by making it sound as if you believed it was the 'emperor of some bizaar country.'
The bad english is what gets me. Surely it isn't that hard to type the thing in word, or are they that lazy that pressing ctrl+c will exaust them and make the scam not worth the effort?
Hahahahahaha.
That Powerbook prank cracks me up.
The fact that the guy sent him a virus was humourous.
That Powerbook prank cracks me up.
The fact that the guy sent him a virus was humourous.
So, what happened to Jeff then? We know the Buyer got screwed, but what happened to Jeff?!?
you should read the Timewaster letters and written in jest!
personally, play along. when he gives you the address (which no doubt will be an untraceable box number) send him the biggest picture of David Hasselhoffs face thst you can afford.
he'll pay for shipping, and at best, be confused by it all.
Edit.
or as he is paying for shipping, find an old box. pack a tramp in it first then go to his curior, if you can't find a tramp. just fill it with crap so it's nice and heavy.
I managaged to get a Steve Aloma (the emperor of some bizaar country to phone my +44 mobile number, he wanted to donate some money into my account as his family were held hostage or some rubbish like that.
I made him repeat everything twice and was quite chatty on the phone up until he wanted my account details when I told him I wasn't that stupid and hung up. We were on the phone for a good 20 minutes.
he declared me an english a-hole :'-(
personally, play along. when he gives you the address (which no doubt will be an untraceable box number) send him the biggest picture of David Hasselhoffs face thst you can afford.
he'll pay for shipping, and at best, be confused by it all.
Edit.
or as he is paying for shipping, find an old box. pack a tramp in it first then go to his curior, if you can't find a tramp. just fill it with crap so it's nice and heavy.
I managaged to get a Steve Aloma (the emperor of some bizaar country to phone my +44 mobile number, he wanted to donate some money into my account as his family were held hostage or some rubbish like that.
I made him repeat everything twice and was quite chatty on the phone up until he wanted my account details when I told him I wasn't that stupid and hung up. We were on the phone for a good 20 minutes.
he declared me an english a-hole :'-(
Paradox: wrote:
> Peter .K wrote:
> Does your dog really need a new liver or was that a wind up?
> Maybe you could say that you're dying and need money for a new body.
>
> Yes, dog needs liver operation. He has a drink problem.
I sooooo can't believe he asked that!
Stupid question of the year nominee.
> Peter .K wrote:
> Does your dog really need a new liver or was that a wind up?
> Maybe you could say that you're dying and need money for a new body.
>
> Yes, dog needs liver operation. He has a drink problem.
I sooooo can't believe he asked that!
Stupid question of the year nominee.
Perhaps.
Was just offering help...
If we wanted to we probably could stalk you anyway. It wouldnt be much fun but Paradox is a whizz at that kinda thing...
(note... JOKING... do not tell your parents people are coming for you)
Was just offering help...
If we wanted to we probably could stalk you anyway. It wouldnt be much fun but Paradox is a whizz at that kinda thing...
(note... JOKING... do not tell your parents people are coming for you)
Page: