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its a weird thing that makes people do weird things, but is it real or phsycological? (sp?)
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I never like talking about depression, because as soon as anyone uses the word to me it sounds like too much self pity.
One of the weird things I find is when people say things like "That was the year I had depression". It's hard for me to see it as something so discrete. In my experience, it's something that's always there to a greater or lesser extent, not something you have for a while then get over, like a cold.
One of the weird things I find is when people say things like "That was the year I had depression". It's hard for me to see it as something so discrete. In my experience, it's something that's always there to a greater or lesser extent, not something you have for a while then get over, like a cold.
Light wrote:
> I have experienced depression since I was a teenager. Note that I do
> not say I have suffered from it.
I hate the S word and i'm not sure why, it's difficult enough to explain whats wrong without coming across as melodramatic without using that word.
> I would say that the feature that defines my depression is
> dissatisfaction with the way the world is, and with myself. Therefore I
> constantly strive to improve myself.
I used to be like that and it helped me, i tended to get a lot done, not that is was ever enough but at some point though i've stopped trying and i'm finding it near impossible to start again for any length of time.
> Now that I have put it into words, my definition can be analysed. Are
> depressed people striving for unattainable perfection, or are we
> spoilt children who are unhappy that we cannot have our way? One can
> see examples of either, be it in the creativity of Spike Milligan, or
> the petulance of Stan Collymore.
Perfectionist and petulant although i'm not at all sure why, just completely unable to cope with dissappointment.
> Indeed, one can see that all of the negative aspects of depression
> come from that which is beyond our control.
I dont think it has to come from anywhere, sometimes it really is for no reason though i suspect you're referring to reactive depression.
> From this, come the positive aspects of depression. I have said I
> strive to improve myself. I also try to improve the world around me
> in my own small way. I give regularly to charity not out of guilt,
> but out of genuine (albeit perhaps naïve) belief that it will
> make a difference somewhere. I will always help out anyone in need,
> be he or she friend, acquaintance, or friend of a friend, with
> whatever skills I have at my disposal (ahh, smug mode again!) Even my
> first career choice, that of a solicitor, was made with the intention
> of helping improve peoples lives (no, really). And just for the
> record, yes I was hopelessly misguided, not to say stupid, in that
> choice. I am no longer a member of the legal profession. Please feel
> free to applaud.
I've seen two sides of this, i suspect it made me hugely driven when i was younger, utter perfectionist, the other side turned up turned up when all my work ended up being worth nothing, the dissappointment and bitterness from that has made it incredibly difficult to find any of the motivation i had before.
If i can see a good point it's that i'm no longer so selfish, i've got more time for people, the only thing that motivates me are the people around me and in truth they're the only thing i care about or get any joy from.
> I have heard people compare depression to cancer in terms of the
> dreadful impact it can have on someone’s life.
Ok having had both i'd say depression is worse, at least with cancer you've always got yourself, depression takes that away.
I'd rather have cancer and be myself than feel how i have done recently.
> I would say that this sad incident
> highlights the need for better support and understanding of
> depression and it’s effects (mind you, I would say that wouldn’t I…)
Recent experience has told me that the support is not there, you can't send someone for counselling and then just leave them to arrange it themselves or leave them in the dark. For depression the health service must take a more intensive course of action.
> In my experience, the natural reaction to someone who has depression
> is to recoil as if it may be contagious or some sort of dangerous
> mental illness.
My experience is that people just think you're miserable and so i get the standard "What you depressed about then" as if there is a reason or something simple that i could do about it.
> Depression (mine at least) is a natural
> side effect of trying to better oneself, and I for one am content to
> live with it if that is the case.
If it's driving you then you're lucky, i've been in that boat and i miss it.
I know i come across as a miserable git who moans too much and i am, i'm not a fan of it but my intent is always to explain things, not because i like complaining because it doesn't help me.
> I have experienced depression since I was a teenager. Note that I do
> not say I have suffered from it.
I hate the S word and i'm not sure why, it's difficult enough to explain whats wrong without coming across as melodramatic without using that word.
> I would say that the feature that defines my depression is
> dissatisfaction with the way the world is, and with myself. Therefore I
> constantly strive to improve myself.
I used to be like that and it helped me, i tended to get a lot done, not that is was ever enough but at some point though i've stopped trying and i'm finding it near impossible to start again for any length of time.
> Now that I have put it into words, my definition can be analysed. Are
> depressed people striving for unattainable perfection, or are we
> spoilt children who are unhappy that we cannot have our way? One can
> see examples of either, be it in the creativity of Spike Milligan, or
> the petulance of Stan Collymore.
Perfectionist and petulant although i'm not at all sure why, just completely unable to cope with dissappointment.
> Indeed, one can see that all of the negative aspects of depression
> come from that which is beyond our control.
I dont think it has to come from anywhere, sometimes it really is for no reason though i suspect you're referring to reactive depression.
> From this, come the positive aspects of depression. I have said I
> strive to improve myself. I also try to improve the world around me
> in my own small way. I give regularly to charity not out of guilt,
> but out of genuine (albeit perhaps naïve) belief that it will
> make a difference somewhere. I will always help out anyone in need,
> be he or she friend, acquaintance, or friend of a friend, with
> whatever skills I have at my disposal (ahh, smug mode again!) Even my
> first career choice, that of a solicitor, was made with the intention
> of helping improve peoples lives (no, really). And just for the
> record, yes I was hopelessly misguided, not to say stupid, in that
> choice. I am no longer a member of the legal profession. Please feel
> free to applaud.
I've seen two sides of this, i suspect it made me hugely driven when i was younger, utter perfectionist, the other side turned up turned up when all my work ended up being worth nothing, the dissappointment and bitterness from that has made it incredibly difficult to find any of the motivation i had before.
If i can see a good point it's that i'm no longer so selfish, i've got more time for people, the only thing that motivates me are the people around me and in truth they're the only thing i care about or get any joy from.
> I have heard people compare depression to cancer in terms of the
> dreadful impact it can have on someone’s life.
Ok having had both i'd say depression is worse, at least with cancer you've always got yourself, depression takes that away.
I'd rather have cancer and be myself than feel how i have done recently.
> I would say that this sad incident
> highlights the need for better support and understanding of
> depression and it’s effects (mind you, I would say that wouldn’t I…)
Recent experience has told me that the support is not there, you can't send someone for counselling and then just leave them to arrange it themselves or leave them in the dark. For depression the health service must take a more intensive course of action.
> In my experience, the natural reaction to someone who has depression
> is to recoil as if it may be contagious or some sort of dangerous
> mental illness.
My experience is that people just think you're miserable and so i get the standard "What you depressed about then" as if there is a reason or something simple that i could do about it.
> Depression (mine at least) is a natural
> side effect of trying to better oneself, and I for one am content to
> live with it if that is the case.
If it's driving you then you're lucky, i've been in that boat and i miss it.
I know i come across as a miserable git who moans too much and i am, i'm not a fan of it but my intent is always to explain things, not because i like complaining because it doesn't help me.
Something I wrote about 5 years ago...
There is no spirit nobler than that of a depressed person. Is that a surprising claim? Is the perception of depression still that of someone miserable and foretelling doom, the sort of person who one really doesn’t want at a party?
Yesterday the father of a girl who had been suffering from depression for a decade was found guilty of her manslaughter. He had assisted her in killing herself. His reason for doing so was that she was not receiving any help from the NHS or counsellors and she was determined to die. With that in mind, he helped her so that in her final moments she would not be alone. Did her father fail her or did he act out of love for her?
I have experienced depression since I was a teenager. Note that I do not say I have suffered from it. I would say that the feature that defines my depression is dissatisfaction with the way the world is, and with myself. Therefore I constantly strive to improve myself. I know that I could be a better person by my own moral standards, but I am handicapped by the sinking feeling that there will always be so much more to do. Even writing this down can be a struggle for the depressed, because it will fail to live up to the image I had of what one wanted to write before one starts writing it and because of that, no one will like it. That, in essence, is the joy of depression.
Now that I have put it into words, my definition can be analysed. Are depressed people striving for unattainable perfection, or are we spoilt children who are unhappy that we cannot have our way? One can see examples of either, be it in the creativity of Spike Milligan, or the petulance of Stan Collymore.
I would say that there is a little of both definitions in me. For example, I can be annoyed beyond words when I cannot do something I want to due to circumstance. In that respect, I am no different from the 11-year-old flying into a rage because he cannot go out to play until he has tidied his room. But my peer group also regards me as witty, funny and erudite (although candour compels me to admit that I am also regarded as a first class bullsh!tter who will never use one word when about 70 can be used instead…)
Indeed, one can see that all of the negative aspects of depression come from that which is beyond our control. I remember that my mother used to scold me whenever I did not finish my meal with the rebuke that; “There’s many a starving child in Africa would give their right arm for what you’ve just thrown away.”
Which is of course true, but as we were not starving in Africa, and were in fact an affluent middle class family living in the suburbs, I felt I was entitled to something more than boiled mince with half cooked potatoes.
But that did trouble me (I toyed with the idea of having my waste food delivered by air mail to Ethiopia, but decided against it on the grounds that no one should have to rely on my mothers cooking for sustenance) and if I am honest it troubles me still. It has been rightly said that the news is the most depressing thing on TV, and I am always wracked with guilt when I see the latest report of war, famine, or disaster. Why is that so? I am just white middle class liberal man with a useful line in withering sarcasm. What can I hope to achieve that would make a difference?
From this, come the positive aspects of depression. I have said I strive to improve myself. I also try to improve the world around me in my own small way. I give regularly to charity not out of guilt, but out of genuine (albeit perhaps naïve) belief that it will make a difference somewhere. I will always help out anyone in need, be he or she friend, acquaintance, or friend of a friend, with whatever skills I have at my disposal (ahh, smug mode again!) Even my first career choice, that of a solicitor, was made with the intention of helping improve peoples lives (no, really). And just for the record, yes I was hopelessly misguided, not to say stupid, in that choice. I am no longer a member of the legal profession. Please feel free to applaud.
I have heard people compare depression to cancer in terms of the dreadful impact it can have on someone’s life. Whilst I wouldn’t go quite that far, if ignored or pushed aside then it can well up until simply getting through the day becomes a challenge. This poor girl didn’t address her depression, either through her own choice or because our health system was inadequate. To be honest, I suspect that it was a mix of the two. I would say that this sad incident highlights the need for better support and understanding of depression and it’s effects (mind you, I would say that wouldn’t I…)
In my experience, the natural reaction to someone who has depression is to recoil as if it may be contagious or some sort of dangerous mental illness. Well, I suppose it can be if the miserable b*****d just sits around and whinges all of the time (you all have my permission to punch me if I ever do…). And the only time I’m particularly dangerous is when I make a laughable attempt at DIY in the house. But for the most part those with depression are perfectly normal people getting on with our lives; they can be wonderful company, or as tiresome as a box of @rseholes.
To sum up, there has been an awful lot of nonsense written and said about the causes of depression. The blame has fallen on everything from lifestyle and diet through to Lad Mags. I would contend that there is no need for blame. Depression (mine at least) is a natural side effect of trying to better oneself, and I for one am content to live with it if that is the case.
There is no spirit nobler than that of a depressed person. Is that a surprising claim? Is the perception of depression still that of someone miserable and foretelling doom, the sort of person who one really doesn’t want at a party?
Yesterday the father of a girl who had been suffering from depression for a decade was found guilty of her manslaughter. He had assisted her in killing herself. His reason for doing so was that she was not receiving any help from the NHS or counsellors and she was determined to die. With that in mind, he helped her so that in her final moments she would not be alone. Did her father fail her or did he act out of love for her?
I have experienced depression since I was a teenager. Note that I do not say I have suffered from it. I would say that the feature that defines my depression is dissatisfaction with the way the world is, and with myself. Therefore I constantly strive to improve myself. I know that I could be a better person by my own moral standards, but I am handicapped by the sinking feeling that there will always be so much more to do. Even writing this down can be a struggle for the depressed, because it will fail to live up to the image I had of what one wanted to write before one starts writing it and because of that, no one will like it. That, in essence, is the joy of depression.
Now that I have put it into words, my definition can be analysed. Are depressed people striving for unattainable perfection, or are we spoilt children who are unhappy that we cannot have our way? One can see examples of either, be it in the creativity of Spike Milligan, or the petulance of Stan Collymore.
I would say that there is a little of both definitions in me. For example, I can be annoyed beyond words when I cannot do something I want to due to circumstance. In that respect, I am no different from the 11-year-old flying into a rage because he cannot go out to play until he has tidied his room. But my peer group also regards me as witty, funny and erudite (although candour compels me to admit that I am also regarded as a first class bullsh!tter who will never use one word when about 70 can be used instead…)
Indeed, one can see that all of the negative aspects of depression come from that which is beyond our control. I remember that my mother used to scold me whenever I did not finish my meal with the rebuke that; “There’s many a starving child in Africa would give their right arm for what you’ve just thrown away.”
Which is of course true, but as we were not starving in Africa, and were in fact an affluent middle class family living in the suburbs, I felt I was entitled to something more than boiled mince with half cooked potatoes.
But that did trouble me (I toyed with the idea of having my waste food delivered by air mail to Ethiopia, but decided against it on the grounds that no one should have to rely on my mothers cooking for sustenance) and if I am honest it troubles me still. It has been rightly said that the news is the most depressing thing on TV, and I am always wracked with guilt when I see the latest report of war, famine, or disaster. Why is that so? I am just white middle class liberal man with a useful line in withering sarcasm. What can I hope to achieve that would make a difference?
From this, come the positive aspects of depression. I have said I strive to improve myself. I also try to improve the world around me in my own small way. I give regularly to charity not out of guilt, but out of genuine (albeit perhaps naïve) belief that it will make a difference somewhere. I will always help out anyone in need, be he or she friend, acquaintance, or friend of a friend, with whatever skills I have at my disposal (ahh, smug mode again!) Even my first career choice, that of a solicitor, was made with the intention of helping improve peoples lives (no, really). And just for the record, yes I was hopelessly misguided, not to say stupid, in that choice. I am no longer a member of the legal profession. Please feel free to applaud.
I have heard people compare depression to cancer in terms of the dreadful impact it can have on someone’s life. Whilst I wouldn’t go quite that far, if ignored or pushed aside then it can well up until simply getting through the day becomes a challenge. This poor girl didn’t address her depression, either through her own choice or because our health system was inadequate. To be honest, I suspect that it was a mix of the two. I would say that this sad incident highlights the need for better support and understanding of depression and it’s effects (mind you, I would say that wouldn’t I…)
In my experience, the natural reaction to someone who has depression is to recoil as if it may be contagious or some sort of dangerous mental illness. Well, I suppose it can be if the miserable b*****d just sits around and whinges all of the time (you all have my permission to punch me if I ever do…). And the only time I’m particularly dangerous is when I make a laughable attempt at DIY in the house. But for the most part those with depression are perfectly normal people getting on with our lives; they can be wonderful company, or as tiresome as a box of @rseholes.
To sum up, there has been an awful lot of nonsense written and said about the causes of depression. The blame has fallen on everything from lifestyle and diet through to Lad Mags. I would contend that there is no need for blame. Depression (mine at least) is a natural side effect of trying to better oneself, and I for one am content to live with it if that is the case.
Why don't you all just grow a pair
Celestine wrote:
> If there isn't
> anything more annoying, having someone (like my MotherDearest) tell me
> to "Just snap out of it!" really gets my knickers in a
> bunch.
Thats the one thing that will really set me off, it gets me angry to the point i want to hit them which is why i'm better off hidden away. I can see the signs coming now, i just prefer to sleep through it.
> If there isn't
> anything more annoying, having someone (like my MotherDearest) tell me
> to "Just snap out of it!" really gets my knickers in a
> bunch.
Thats the one thing that will really set me off, it gets me angry to the point i want to hit them which is why i'm better off hidden away. I can see the signs coming now, i just prefer to sleep through it.
Flock wrote:
> Very_Metal wrote:
> be around people a lot, a good support network is essential.
>
> I find being around people a really bad idea, i'm always either quick
> to anger or easily upset, it's better just to get out of the way, good
> support is difficult to find as most people dont have a clue whats
> wrong.
I agree. I always seclude myself and tend to hide under my blankey talking to Grix on the phone in Wales..or, to my girly friend Nanashi in the South. Sometimes I can't talk and sometimes I just need someone to listen. They're such unbelievably beautiful and understanding people and I feel so blessed to have them in my life. I love them very muchly.
Ugh..tears again.
All I can really say to people challenged with finding the right words to say to someone who's clinically depressed..don't be imposing with whatever you do say, like it's the cure-all Holy Grail or whatever. Just be real for Christ's sake..and human. If there isn't anything more annoying, having someone (like my MotherDearest) tell me to "Just snap out of it!" really gets my knickers in a bunch.
> Very_Metal wrote:
> be around people a lot, a good support network is essential.
>
> I find being around people a really bad idea, i'm always either quick
> to anger or easily upset, it's better just to get out of the way, good
> support is difficult to find as most people dont have a clue whats
> wrong.
I agree. I always seclude myself and tend to hide under my blankey talking to Grix on the phone in Wales..or, to my girly friend Nanashi in the South. Sometimes I can't talk and sometimes I just need someone to listen. They're such unbelievably beautiful and understanding people and I feel so blessed to have them in my life. I love them very muchly.
Ugh..tears again.
All I can really say to people challenged with finding the right words to say to someone who's clinically depressed..don't be imposing with whatever you do say, like it's the cure-all Holy Grail or whatever. Just be real for Christ's sake..and human. If there isn't anything more annoying, having someone (like my MotherDearest) tell me to "Just snap out of it!" really gets my knickers in a bunch.
Is depression real? It is. And most of the time, when you least expect the mofo, it just comes out of the blue..and slaps you into a different realm of existence. Most of the time, I'm wading in it for a while before even realising.
It doesn't make anyone do anything weird, just sad and unable to function as they normally would. That isn't being weird, just ill. Abnormal behaviours are categorized as mania or hypomania and associated with other disorders. Or, you could be diagnosed with a disorder all together.
I'd like to get into how I struggle with major depression and elaborate more about the breakdowns and the medication and all that..but, I'm really not feeling this right now. I will say, it's all about maintenance. Knowing the triggers, the symptoms, the remedies, having the courage to reach out and get the help you need to overcome, and always having a support network.
It doesn't make anyone do anything weird, just sad and unable to function as they normally would. That isn't being weird, just ill. Abnormal behaviours are categorized as mania or hypomania and associated with other disorders. Or, you could be diagnosed with a disorder all together.
I'd like to get into how I struggle with major depression and elaborate more about the breakdowns and the medication and all that..but, I'm really not feeling this right now. I will say, it's all about maintenance. Knowing the triggers, the symptoms, the remedies, having the courage to reach out and get the help you need to overcome, and always having a support network.
Ms NY wrote:
> Shame people don't really know what to say or whatever. There are a
> few people around me who seem to know what, if anything, is wrong but
> will never say anything. [which means they probably don't know
> afterall..] Lack of communication is poop.
Yep my mum is the same, it's taken her a long time to click that there was something wrong with me despite her going through the same thing and she still doesn't know what to say to me about it, at least she ca recognise the symptoms now though.
> Shame people don't really know what to say or whatever. There are a
> few people around me who seem to know what, if anything, is wrong but
> will never say anything. [which means they probably don't know
> afterall..] Lack of communication is poop.
Yep my mum is the same, it's taken her a long time to click that there was something wrong with me despite her going through the same thing and she still doesn't know what to say to me about it, at least she ca recognise the symptoms now though.
Flock wrote:
> I find being around people a really bad idea, i'm always either quick
> to anger or easily upset, it's better just to get out of the way, good
> support is difficult to find as most people dont have a clue whats
> wrong.
Same with me, but I'm not depressed.. Just plain miserable :p Verr easy to get angry if people are saying, "Cheer up!!!!" or "Calm down!" and worse, "You look fed up!" in the most enthuastic tone, when really, you're feeling great. *snap* It makes things worse.
But then, I suppose, being around people and doing something entertaining really is a mood-lifter and takes your mind off of whatever for a few hours or something. That, or you could take Gingko Biloba(?). It supposedly makes you feel like you've taken speed.. My nan said so.. :^) Oh, wait-- Eeeww.
Shame people don't really know what to say or whatever. There are a few people around me who seem to know what, if anything, is wrong but will never say anything. [which means they probably don't know afterall..] Lack of communication is poop.
> I find being around people a really bad idea, i'm always either quick
> to anger or easily upset, it's better just to get out of the way, good
> support is difficult to find as most people dont have a clue whats
> wrong.
Same with me, but I'm not depressed.. Just plain miserable :p Verr easy to get angry if people are saying, "Cheer up!!!!" or "Calm down!" and worse, "You look fed up!" in the most enthuastic tone, when really, you're feeling great. *snap* It makes things worse.
But then, I suppose, being around people and doing something entertaining really is a mood-lifter and takes your mind off of whatever for a few hours or something. That, or you could take Gingko Biloba(?). It supposedly makes you feel like you've taken speed.. My nan said so.. :^) Oh, wait-- Eeeww.
Shame people don't really know what to say or whatever. There are a few people around me who seem to know what, if anything, is wrong but will never say anything. [which means they probably don't know afterall..] Lack of communication is poop.
Very_Metal wrote:
> be around people a lot, a good support network is essential.
I find being around people a really bad idea, i'm always either quick to anger or easily upset, it's better just to get out of the way, good support is difficult to find as most people dont have a clue whats wrong.
> be around people a lot, a good support network is essential.
I find being around people a really bad idea, i'm always either quick to anger or easily upset, it's better just to get out of the way, good support is difficult to find as most people dont have a clue whats wrong.
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