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"Deja vu with the ladies"

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Sun 18/10/09 at 14:36
Regular
"That's right!"
Posts: 10,645
Have you ever realised similarities between the different girls you go for?

I hadn't even thought about it until a few months ago when I necked on with some girl in town called Laura, and the next day my mate showed me some photos of the two of us and she was basically a brunette version of my then ex-girlfriend who was called... Laura.

Creepy.

So six weeks ago I get to know a girl from work called Sarah a little better at a mutual friend's birthday. After that we were in that awesome "do everything a couple does but not officially going out" zone that usually either turns into a proper relationship or is fun for a few weeks and then one of you decides not to bother anymore so ends it.

I knew practically nothing about her until that first night, but over the next few weeks I discover her and my ex Laura have a few things in common -

They went to the same school, although Sarah was in the year above they know a lot of the same people.

They're currently both doing philosophy at Newcastle uni... on the same course.

I met them both at work when I was on day shift but was training evening staff (which is what they both were).

They're both Catholic (well, not REAL Catholics, I don't know anyone our age who doesn't love pre-marital sex)

They both love Disney, which a lot of girls do, but they both particularly love Tinkerbell (Laura put herself in my phone as "Tink" while we were going out... yes, it's sickening I know).

Had my first kiss with both of them whilst drunk in Whitley Bay (classy).

Sarah texted me to say she couldn't make it to my dad's birthday dinner because her gran had fallen over and they were taking her to hospital. After the obvious questions like "Is she OK?" etc I ask "Where does she live?" but before I've even finished the question I know the answer. "North Shields" was her reply which confirmed my guess. And how did I know it was North Shields? Because Laura's gran lives in North Shields as well. By that point I was starting to get a little scared...

Last October Laura split up with me because she thought we were about to split up anyway and she didn't want it to happen during her philosophy exams. On Thursday Sarah said she had to end things now before they got serious because she was struggling with working five days a week AND completing her third year of uni. Things were going great for the first few weeks until she went back to uni after the summer break then everything went belly up pretty much and I never saw her, so to be fair I was thinking of pulling the plug myself (thinking about it doesn't mean I would've actually done it, because then I wouldn't have had a fit bird).

They don't look anything alike, Laura is curvy with long blonde hair, Sarah is slim with short brown hair. Laura couldn't keep quiet if you sewed her mouth shut whereas Sarah was really shy and went bright red every time she realised my parents were in and she might have to actually say hello. But it did freak me out sometimes, especially as I didn't know any of their similarities until I got to know Sarah better, so it wasn't like I thought "She reminds me of my ex, I'll try it on with her".

There are a few similarities Sarah has with another ex called Fay, who I also met whilst training evening staff, in that all the lads on evening shift fancied them and hate me for moving in on "their girl" (one of them fancied Fay three years ago and now Sarah so he must REALLY despise me). Oh and when I was on the phone to Sarah I could've sworn it was Fay, they sound identical.

So, yeah, two girls I couldn't have thought were more different had enough in common to creep me out a fair bit. And both of them left me because of that damned philosophy course (I'd been planning to leave Laura for almost a year but again, then I wouldn't have a fit bird so I bottled it until she did it for me - what a kind hearted guy I am).

Anyone had a similar situation?
Fri 23/10/09 at 13:20
Regular
"That's right!"
Posts: 10,645
Kaepora Gaebora wrote:
> MoJo, I recommend you never get married then!
>
> What do you do with your girlfriend then, what's stopping you
> from playing games or watching a movie WITH her? Maybe she's one
> of those annoying ones that asks what's going to happen every ten
> minutes.

Yep. She talked. And talked. And talked. Even at the bloomin' cinema she'd sit and talk through the entire film, not just ruining it for me but for other people as well.

Sometimes she'd actually talk about the film for five minutes but the rest of the time she'd talk about her day, her friends (who she never saw because she was with me all the time) her college/uni work and her family. Or just utter gibberish. Drove me INSANE.
Fri 23/10/09 at 13:20
Regular
"That's right!"
Posts: 10,645
Double post, bah
Thu 22/10/09 at 14:46
Regular
Posts: 143
MoJo, I recommend you never get married then!

What do you do with your girlfriend then, what's stopping you from playing games or watching a movie WITH her? Maybe she's one of those annoying ones that asks what's going to happen every ten minutes.
Thu 22/10/09 at 12:22
Regular
"That's right!"
Posts: 10,645
Is it even possible to avoid the psychos?

I hate head cases, especially after seeing so many of my friends end up with them (one of my friends was literally beaten up by his girlfriend, and she went after him with a knife once... and yes the idiot is still with her) but EVERY girl is messed up in the head in one way or another.

When I went out with that Laura bird I'd known her as a friend for over a year and during that time she acknowledged all the things girls do that lads hate so I knew she was aware of them and would avoid doing those things, but even she was OBSESSED with seeing me every chance she got. At one point for almost a year my routine was -

Get up
Go to work
Laura meets me at gates of work when I leave
See her until 9pm, take her into town and put her on bus home, get home at 10pm
Get up
Go to work
Laura meets me at gates of work when I leave
See her until 9pm, take her into town and put her on bus home, get home at 10pm

On Fridays she'd stay over, then we'd be with each other the whole weekend until I'd leave hers at 9pm on Sunday and get home at 10pm before getting up, going to work and starting it all over again.

Spending literally all your time except from 10pm until you go to bed every night either at work or with your girlfriend is NOT healthy. This went on for MONTHS until I snapped and told her I needed at least one day off a week. She cried (yes, literally), she sulked, she got angry, but eventually I was allowed it and I started arranging more things with the lads so I could keep busy, as the way she saw it was ANY spare time I had had to be spent with her. If I mentioned I was taking a day off work she'd instantly plan that day around her, so in the end I just kept it quiet and took days off work without her knowing.

For the last couple of months of our two year relationship I was lying to her that I was working overtime almost every night, not because I had someone else, not because I was out with the lads, but so I could sit at home and play on my 360, or watch a DVD, or just sit and relax. When you're lying to your girlfriend just to get some alone time then you know something is wrong and luckily for me, since I'm a coward and wouldn't have done it myself, she left me.

Some girls seem like perfect girlfriend material until they actually become your girlfriend, then you understand why their previous relationships have fallen apart.

Has anyone gone out with a girl who wasn't at least a little bit mental?
Thu 22/10/09 at 08:33
Regular
"@optometrytweet"
Posts: 4,686
Machie wrote:
> @hippyman, aw sorry it had to end like that, but it could have
> been worse. I think it was probably for the best though. You just
> weren't able to spend any time together. Hopefully the next one
> will be better and you've learnt a lot from dating this girl.

Probably the biggest lesson I've learnt is to avoid the pschopaths....

I'm (well I will be) ok. It is just a weird feeling.

Onwards and upwards :)
Wed 21/10/09 at 17:16
Regular
Posts: 19,415
@hippyman, aw sorry it had to end like that, but it could have been worse. I think it was probably for the best though. You just weren't able to spend any time together. Hopefully the next one will be better and you've learnt a lot from dating this girl.
Wed 21/10/09 at 10:41
Regular
Posts: 9,995
I have about six different Hannahs in my phone. The similarities end there.
Wed 21/10/09 at 08:12
Regular
"@optometrytweet"
Posts: 4,686
Machie wrote:
> Single? Not again, I told you not to blow this one. Oh well,
> first girlfriends never last. I remember mine, she was very
> religious and I wasn't. She wouldn't even let me spend any money
> on a sunday. :S

I didn't blow it, I think she did. I took a complete downhill turn just over a month ago, relapses of my past, panic attacks all sorts. I deep down knew it was her that was causing them. Just had a month of constant put downs, being cancelled on last minute etc. and eventually I was seeing her for about an hour a week, usually with all my friends, of which when the evening was over, continue to go out with them without me.

On the phone it was a case of "it isn't working" all the time, which I was trying hard to make the situation work (albeit difficult with about an hour a week to do so) and on Monday, just agreed with her and ended it. Far from what I wanted really, but knew it was just bringing me down.

It sounds bizarre to say this, but she was just like my father...

EDIT: give me a few weeks and I'll be out on the pull again, luckily we were both together only for a short period of time, and on the plus side, I've now had my first girlfriend - which gets that over and done with :p

EDIT EDIT: And another positive, freeola has hippyman back now...whether or not you could class that as a positive I don't know...
Tue 20/10/09 at 14:04
Regular
Posts: 19,415
Single? Not again, I told you not to blow this one. Oh well, first girlfriends never last. I remember mine, she was very religious and I wasn't. She wouldn't even let me spend any money on a sunday. :S

Did you end up marrying that American girl Garin?
Tue 20/10/09 at 13:36
Regular
"Devil in disguise"
Posts: 3,151
All my girlfriends have had 2 legs. Cant be a coincidence, I must be drawn to such women.

I'm obviously not to fussy about hands though as I've had a girlfriend with only 1.

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