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Timmy didn't like it when the big men came. They never looked at him, they just went upstairs. Timmy would watch the saturday film and try to ignore the comings and goings.
He watched the war film focusing as hard as he could on the action. Men were dying on a beach, good men it seemed from their talking before they got into the funny shaped boats. Those men were good people.
He watched the good men climb up a steep hill to get to the bad men. The bad men fired guns down on the good men and many good men were dying. Timmy wanted the good men to win, he crossed his fingers and hoped they would.
His mother came down and made him a bowl of coco pops. There was a noise from upstairs and she hurried backup. Timmy watched the film. He wondered where all the good men had gone, perhaps they'd all died in wars? He didn't know.
The good men seemed to be winning, although some were hung from churches. A man left, Timmy didn't watch him go.
His mother picked him up saying 'time for your nap timmy'.
He wondered where all the good men were.
He watched the war film focusing as hard as he could on the action. Men were dying on a beach, good men it seemed from their talking before they got into the funny shaped boats. Those men were good people.
He watched the good men climb up a steep hill to get to the bad men. The bad men fired guns down on the good men and many good men were dying. Timmy wanted the good men to win, he crossed his fingers and hoped they would.
His mother came down and made him a bowl of coco pops. There was a noise from upstairs and she hurried backup. Timmy watched the film. He wondered where all the good men had gone, perhaps they'd all died in wars? He didn't know.
The good men seemed to be winning, although some were hung from churches. A man left, Timmy didn't watch him go.
His mother picked him up saying 'time for your nap timmy'.
He wondered where all the good men were.
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True.
That'll drop like a stone.
That'll drop like a stone.
But post a 4000 word story in here, and its a whole different ... er ... story.
Thanks guys.
Yeah the story was a first draft of something I wrote a while back after being up far too long.
This was more of a feedback test, I wanted to see the difference in feedback received in Life... compared to the the feedback received in the C/W forum.
It's better here, not by much, but enough to be significant.
Yeah the story was a first draft of something I wrote a while back after being up far too long.
This was more of a feedback test, I wanted to see the difference in feedback received in Life... compared to the the feedback received in the C/W forum.
It's better here, not by much, but enough to be significant.
Yeah, keep your private life personal.
It's not so bad... just wrong forum.
It's about a prostitute's son who's watching Saving Private Ryan while she works.
Although knowing Hedfix it's OBVIOUSLY a p1sstake! :-D
It's about a prostitute's son who's watching Saving Private Ryan while she works.
Although knowing Hedfix it's OBVIOUSLY a p1sstake! :-D
lol.
Hedfix, is your name Timmy?
Hmmm...Either Mr Fix is having a laugh to mock that other story, or...he's just trying to see how many people react to this in a negative way.
Or its actually a really good story with a lot of hidden depth. Obviously Hedfix can write better than this, but he's done it for a reason.
Let me get back to you on that...
Or its actually a really good story with a lot of hidden depth. Obviously Hedfix can write better than this, but he's done it for a reason.
Let me get back to you on that...
I'm confused as to what you were trying to say.
I'm assuming that this is intentionally crap as I would expect better from you Hedfix.
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