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1 - Our team of experts has decided that Income Tax has not proved popular with the public and will therefore be abolished. It was started in order to finance the Napoleonic war in 1799 and we now believe that the time is right to announce the cessation of hostilities with Napoleon. Some of the money left in the coffers will be used to fill in our part of the Channel Tunnel in case no one has mentioned it to the French. Any remaining money will be strategically placed on a horse at the 3-30 at Haydock Park at odds of at least 12/1 in order to see us through until the next election. Income Tax will be officially replaced by people lending the government a bob or two at the end of the week when we’re a bit skint.
2 - We will issue a 99p coin to save on change.
3 - We pledge to reduce class sizes by making the pupils sit closer to one another and issuing them with smaller desks. Any MP whose constituency sells off a school playing field for development will be required to relinquish their own back garden as a replacement sports facility for the school. All future Deputy Prime Ministers will be required to be fluent in at least one language to encourage the education system.
4 - All children will be given two birthdays like the Queen.
5 - The number 13 will be abolished due to its longstanding unpopularity. The bus to Acton North will now not have a number on it but not much else will be affected. Therefore if you see a bus with no number on it, it will be going to Acton North. Please remember this for future reference.
6 - Any student who says the word “Like” when not grammatically called for, as in, “Hey, I’m .. Like, going down the… like, pub”, or, “I was, like, don’t do that” will be made to go and stay with George Bush for a week in order to discourage them from other stupid ‘Americanisms’.
7 - Pram lanes will be created in all shopping centres.
8 - 4 wheel drive vehicles will only be allowed to drive off road, therefore stopping mothers picking up their children from school in them when they only live 100 yards down the road. They will also be wrapped in bubble wrap to make them safer.
9 - Immigration: everyone wanting to come and live in the UK will be made welcome, so long as they are over the age of 85 and accompanied by both parents.
10 - All foreign G.Ps in the UK will be taught the local dialect so they know when their patients feel Jiggered (Tired), Manky (Rough), Gipping (Vomiting) or have got somit rang with their Fizog (Face).
2 - We will issue a 99p coin to save on change.
3 - We pledge to reduce class sizes by making the pupils sit closer to one another and issuing them with smaller desks. Any MP whose constituency sells off a school playing field for development will be required to relinquish their own back garden as a replacement sports facility for the school. All future Deputy Prime Ministers will be required to be fluent in at least one language to encourage the education system.
4 - All children will be given two birthdays like the Queen.
5 - The number 13 will be abolished due to its longstanding unpopularity. The bus to Acton North will now not have a number on it but not much else will be affected. Therefore if you see a bus with no number on it, it will be going to Acton North. Please remember this for future reference.
6 - Any student who says the word “Like” when not grammatically called for, as in, “Hey, I’m .. Like, going down the… like, pub”, or, “I was, like, don’t do that” will be made to go and stay with George Bush for a week in order to discourage them from other stupid ‘Americanisms’.
7 - Pram lanes will be created in all shopping centres.
8 - 4 wheel drive vehicles will only be allowed to drive off road, therefore stopping mothers picking up their children from school in them when they only live 100 yards down the road. They will also be wrapped in bubble wrap to make them safer.
9 - Immigration: everyone wanting to come and live in the UK will be made welcome, so long as they are over the age of 85 and accompanied by both parents.
10 - All foreign G.Ps in the UK will be taught the local dialect so they know when their patients feel Jiggered (Tired), Manky (Rough), Gipping (Vomiting) or have got somit rang with their Fizog (Face).
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Hedfix has stumbled across something. That and the "put to rest the feud with Napoleon" malarky.
MRLP are Frogs!!!!?!?!?!?11
MRLP are Frogs!!!!?!?!?!?11
> 4 - All children will be given two birthdays like the Queen.
The French do that already.
Birthdays and 'saints name' days.
The French do that already.
Birthdays and 'saints name' days.
To be honest there are some decent-ish ideas in there.
I'm sure someone said he was the only member. *shrugs*
Anyway.
Read a little more of the full Manifesto.
"In reaction to the old adage, “Children are so honest” we intend to reduce the age of standing for parliament from 21 to 5. "
Heh.
More:
"All trains will be fitted with an automatic braking system that will function as soon as it sees red; this will include people who have been completely enraged by having to stand waiting on a platform for 3 hours."
Ahaha.
This is just class.
"Any child found breaking the Auntie Social Order will be sent to their Uncles for a good clip around the ear.
All police will be made to say HELLO, HELLO, HELLO when making an arrest, this will treble the police force.
Police helmets will be re introduced and made even sillier. The higher a police rank then the higher their hat becomes. At Christmas they will be able to put flashing lights on them and generally decorate them. Once they have achieved the rank of Chief Constable the height of their hats will not allow them to leave their office, which they don’t anyway."
Anyway.
Read a little more of the full Manifesto.
"In reaction to the old adage, “Children are so honest” we intend to reduce the age of standing for parliament from 21 to 5. "
Heh.
More:
"All trains will be fitted with an automatic braking system that will function as soon as it sees red; this will include people who have been completely enraged by having to stand waiting on a platform for 3 hours."
Ahaha.
This is just class.
"Any child found breaking the Auntie Social Order will be sent to their Uncles for a good clip around the ear.
All police will be made to say HELLO, HELLO, HELLO when making an arrest, this will treble the police force.
Police helmets will be re introduced and made even sillier. The higher a police rank then the higher their hat becomes. At Christmas they will be able to put flashing lights on them and generally decorate them. Once they have achieved the rank of Chief Constable the height of their hats will not allow them to leave their office, which they don’t anyway."
Leader, not only member.
I thought the guy that was the only member of the MRLP died?
A 99p coin wouldn't save on change.
You never get 99p back when buying something.
Mymy, it's makes no sense!
You never get 99p back when buying something.
Mymy, it's makes no sense!
1 - Our team of experts has decided that Income Tax has not proved popular with the public and will therefore be abolished. It was started in order to finance the Napoleonic war in 1799 and we now believe that the time is right to announce the cessation of hostilities with Napoleon. Some of the money left in the coffers will be used to fill in our part of the Channel Tunnel in case no one has mentioned it to the French. Any remaining money will be strategically placed on a horse at the 3-30 at Haydock Park at odds of at least 12/1 in order to see us through until the next election. Income Tax will be officially replaced by people lending the government a bob or two at the end of the week when we’re a bit skint.
2 - We will issue a 99p coin to save on change.
3 - We pledge to reduce class sizes by making the pupils sit closer to one another and issuing them with smaller desks. Any MP whose constituency sells off a school playing field for development will be required to relinquish their own back garden as a replacement sports facility for the school. All future Deputy Prime Ministers will be required to be fluent in at least one language to encourage the education system.
4 - All children will be given two birthdays like the Queen.
5 - The number 13 will be abolished due to its longstanding unpopularity. The bus to Acton North will now not have a number on it but not much else will be affected. Therefore if you see a bus with no number on it, it will be going to Acton North. Please remember this for future reference.
6 - Any student who says the word “Like” when not grammatically called for, as in, “Hey, I’m .. Like, going down the… like, pub”, or, “I was, like, don’t do that” will be made to go and stay with George Bush for a week in order to discourage them from other stupid ‘Americanisms’.
7 - Pram lanes will be created in all shopping centres.
8 - 4 wheel drive vehicles will only be allowed to drive off road, therefore stopping mothers picking up their children from school in them when they only live 100 yards down the road. They will also be wrapped in bubble wrap to make them safer.
9 - Immigration: everyone wanting to come and live in the UK will be made welcome, so long as they are over the age of 85 and accompanied by both parents.
10 - All foreign G.Ps in the UK will be taught the local dialect so they know when their patients feel Jiggered (Tired), Manky (Rough), Gipping (Vomiting) or have got somit rang with their Fizog (Face).
2 - We will issue a 99p coin to save on change.
3 - We pledge to reduce class sizes by making the pupils sit closer to one another and issuing them with smaller desks. Any MP whose constituency sells off a school playing field for development will be required to relinquish their own back garden as a replacement sports facility for the school. All future Deputy Prime Ministers will be required to be fluent in at least one language to encourage the education system.
4 - All children will be given two birthdays like the Queen.
5 - The number 13 will be abolished due to its longstanding unpopularity. The bus to Acton North will now not have a number on it but not much else will be affected. Therefore if you see a bus with no number on it, it will be going to Acton North. Please remember this for future reference.
6 - Any student who says the word “Like” when not grammatically called for, as in, “Hey, I’m .. Like, going down the… like, pub”, or, “I was, like, don’t do that” will be made to go and stay with George Bush for a week in order to discourage them from other stupid ‘Americanisms’.
7 - Pram lanes will be created in all shopping centres.
8 - 4 wheel drive vehicles will only be allowed to drive off road, therefore stopping mothers picking up their children from school in them when they only live 100 yards down the road. They will also be wrapped in bubble wrap to make them safer.
9 - Immigration: everyone wanting to come and live in the UK will be made welcome, so long as they are over the age of 85 and accompanied by both parents.
10 - All foreign G.Ps in the UK will be taught the local dialect so they know when their patients feel Jiggered (Tired), Manky (Rough), Gipping (Vomiting) or have got somit rang with their Fizog (Face).
Page: