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Isn't it weird? When you find out someone close to you has died?
I feel selfish for trying at the time, to try and really take note of each single moment when you've found out. But you don't do that stuff. It's stupid.
I think things speed up. But then I don't know.. it seems fast, but slow.
Your heart, wow.. Your heart! You can feel the beat of your heart in your throat, your ears, your chest. Much like an extremely nervous feeling or if you're relaxed at night in bed. Your stomach turns, you feel ill. And after it's passed, you feel dizzy. Headachy. And you stare with far too many questions in mind.
And then not far away, lays your dead best friend who thought that life wasn't treating her well enough and thought that an overdose would do the trick.
[Well, hun, it obviously did!] And I hate her for it. Someone who's less than a mile away right now, was here on this Earth less than 24 hours ago, and is now dead.
Like coming back from Spain or somewhere to the UK in the same day.
"I was there a few hours ago! But now I'm home."
A game of whatever it's called, "Now you see me, now you don't."
Kind of like that. It just feels so wrong. It's not SUPPOSED to happen to a teenager. Again, again, again.
I've tried to understand, to sympathise with people who cut themselves, who try to kill themselves, who think of suicide. But it's near impossible. You just want to scream, "Shut the f**k up and grow up." Why don't people realise that Life here on this Earth is such a gift? Why do they see the negative rather than the good stuff?
But then it's so not confusing when the thought pops into your mind. You have this little insight into what it might be like. To realise that cutting yourself might just be a great release, something which happens in such an incredibly rushed moment that it's over before you realise that you've cut so hard at your body. You realise that overdosing is STUPID. So damn stupid as soon as you feel the stomach pains and the sensitivity to light and sound. You're not quite keeping up with everything going on around you, almost like everybody has sped up and left you behind.
Yet whatever you say is never enough. You probably need to stab a person in the leg or something to make them realise what it's like.
And it hurts to say, "My best friend is dead" Why does it hurt?! Lump-in-throat again.
Muh, I've just lost the one person who had everything you could possibly want in a friend. :(
Someone who would sit with you and hug you when you're down, a friend who would talk about crap but would have amazing giggle fits afterwards. Someone who likes you for who you are and accepts you and respects you. A listener, a beauty of a girl, intelligent, open-minded, down-to-Earth, giving, Godsent. A gift. And a damn good guitar teacher.
Well. I'm going to bed now and hope to sleep for a few weeks not having to wake up and realise that this is real! One.Big.Dream.
Sorry for the rant guys, but I'm sure most of you know how a little writing can temporarily make you feel heaps better. Even if none of it makes sense.
It could've gone into Notepad, but Notepad doesn't reply.
Have a good night! Ciou.
I feel selfish for trying at the time, to try and really take note of each single moment when you've found out. But you don't do that stuff. It's stupid.
I think things speed up. But then I don't know.. it seems fast, but slow.
Your heart, wow.. Your heart! You can feel the beat of your heart in your throat, your ears, your chest. Much like an extremely nervous feeling or if you're relaxed at night in bed. Your stomach turns, you feel ill. And after it's passed, you feel dizzy. Headachy. And you stare with far too many questions in mind.
And then not far away, lays your dead best friend who thought that life wasn't treating her well enough and thought that an overdose would do the trick.
[Well, hun, it obviously did!] And I hate her for it. Someone who's less than a mile away right now, was here on this Earth less than 24 hours ago, and is now dead.
Like coming back from Spain or somewhere to the UK in the same day.
"I was there a few hours ago! But now I'm home."
A game of whatever it's called, "Now you see me, now you don't."
Kind of like that. It just feels so wrong. It's not SUPPOSED to happen to a teenager. Again, again, again.
I've tried to understand, to sympathise with people who cut themselves, who try to kill themselves, who think of suicide. But it's near impossible. You just want to scream, "Shut the f**k up and grow up." Why don't people realise that Life here on this Earth is such a gift? Why do they see the negative rather than the good stuff?
But then it's so not confusing when the thought pops into your mind. You have this little insight into what it might be like. To realise that cutting yourself might just be a great release, something which happens in such an incredibly rushed moment that it's over before you realise that you've cut so hard at your body. You realise that overdosing is STUPID. So damn stupid as soon as you feel the stomach pains and the sensitivity to light and sound. You're not quite keeping up with everything going on around you, almost like everybody has sped up and left you behind.
Yet whatever you say is never enough. You probably need to stab a person in the leg or something to make them realise what it's like.
And it hurts to say, "My best friend is dead" Why does it hurt?! Lump-in-throat again.
Muh, I've just lost the one person who had everything you could possibly want in a friend. :(
Someone who would sit with you and hug you when you're down, a friend who would talk about crap but would have amazing giggle fits afterwards. Someone who likes you for who you are and accepts you and respects you. A listener, a beauty of a girl, intelligent, open-minded, down-to-Earth, giving, Godsent. A gift. And a damn good guitar teacher.
Well. I'm going to bed now and hope to sleep for a few weeks not having to wake up and realise that this is real! One.Big.Dream.
Sorry for the rant guys, but I'm sure most of you know how a little writing can temporarily make you feel heaps better. Even if none of it makes sense.
It could've gone into Notepad, but Notepad doesn't reply.
Have a good night! Ciou.
Page:
Isn't it weird? When you find out someone close to you has died?
I feel selfish for trying at the time, to try and really take note of each single moment when you've found out. But you don't do that stuff. It's stupid.
I think things speed up. But then I don't know.. it seems fast, but slow.
Your heart, wow.. Your heart! You can feel the beat of your heart in your throat, your ears, your chest. Much like an extremely nervous feeling or if you're relaxed at night in bed. Your stomach turns, you feel ill. And after it's passed, you feel dizzy. Headachy. And you stare with far too many questions in mind.
And then not far away, lays your dead best friend who thought that life wasn't treating her well enough and thought that an overdose would do the trick.
[Well, hun, it obviously did!] And I hate her for it. Someone who's less than a mile away right now, was here on this Earth less than 24 hours ago, and is now dead.
Like coming back from Spain or somewhere to the UK in the same day.
"I was there a few hours ago! But now I'm home."
A game of whatever it's called, "Now you see me, now you don't."
Kind of like that. It just feels so wrong. It's not SUPPOSED to happen to a teenager. Again, again, again.
I've tried to understand, to sympathise with people who cut themselves, who try to kill themselves, who think of suicide. But it's near impossible. You just want to scream, "Shut the f**k up and grow up." Why don't people realise that Life here on this Earth is such a gift? Why do they see the negative rather than the good stuff?
But then it's so not confusing when the thought pops into your mind. You have this little insight into what it might be like. To realise that cutting yourself might just be a great release, something which happens in such an incredibly rushed moment that it's over before you realise that you've cut so hard at your body. You realise that overdosing is STUPID. So damn stupid as soon as you feel the stomach pains and the sensitivity to light and sound. You're not quite keeping up with everything going on around you, almost like everybody has sped up and left you behind.
Yet whatever you say is never enough. You probably need to stab a person in the leg or something to make them realise what it's like.
And it hurts to say, "My best friend is dead" Why does it hurt?! Lump-in-throat again.
Muh, I've just lost the one person who had everything you could possibly want in a friend. :(
Someone who would sit with you and hug you when you're down, a friend who would talk about crap but would have amazing giggle fits afterwards. Someone who likes you for who you are and accepts you and respects you. A listener, a beauty of a girl, intelligent, open-minded, down-to-Earth, giving, Godsent. A gift. And a damn good guitar teacher.
Well. I'm going to bed now and hope to sleep for a few weeks not having to wake up and realise that this is real! One.Big.Dream.
Sorry for the rant guys, but I'm sure most of you know how a little writing can temporarily make you feel heaps better. Even if none of it makes sense.
It could've gone into Notepad, but Notepad doesn't reply.
Have a good night! Ciou.
I feel selfish for trying at the time, to try and really take note of each single moment when you've found out. But you don't do that stuff. It's stupid.
I think things speed up. But then I don't know.. it seems fast, but slow.
Your heart, wow.. Your heart! You can feel the beat of your heart in your throat, your ears, your chest. Much like an extremely nervous feeling or if you're relaxed at night in bed. Your stomach turns, you feel ill. And after it's passed, you feel dizzy. Headachy. And you stare with far too many questions in mind.
And then not far away, lays your dead best friend who thought that life wasn't treating her well enough and thought that an overdose would do the trick.
[Well, hun, it obviously did!] And I hate her for it. Someone who's less than a mile away right now, was here on this Earth less than 24 hours ago, and is now dead.
Like coming back from Spain or somewhere to the UK in the same day.
"I was there a few hours ago! But now I'm home."
A game of whatever it's called, "Now you see me, now you don't."
Kind of like that. It just feels so wrong. It's not SUPPOSED to happen to a teenager. Again, again, again.
I've tried to understand, to sympathise with people who cut themselves, who try to kill themselves, who think of suicide. But it's near impossible. You just want to scream, "Shut the f**k up and grow up." Why don't people realise that Life here on this Earth is such a gift? Why do they see the negative rather than the good stuff?
But then it's so not confusing when the thought pops into your mind. You have this little insight into what it might be like. To realise that cutting yourself might just be a great release, something which happens in such an incredibly rushed moment that it's over before you realise that you've cut so hard at your body. You realise that overdosing is STUPID. So damn stupid as soon as you feel the stomach pains and the sensitivity to light and sound. You're not quite keeping up with everything going on around you, almost like everybody has sped up and left you behind.
Yet whatever you say is never enough. You probably need to stab a person in the leg or something to make them realise what it's like.
And it hurts to say, "My best friend is dead" Why does it hurt?! Lump-in-throat again.
Muh, I've just lost the one person who had everything you could possibly want in a friend. :(
Someone who would sit with you and hug you when you're down, a friend who would talk about crap but would have amazing giggle fits afterwards. Someone who likes you for who you are and accepts you and respects you. A listener, a beauty of a girl, intelligent, open-minded, down-to-Earth, giving, Godsent. A gift. And a damn good guitar teacher.
Well. I'm going to bed now and hope to sleep for a few weeks not having to wake up and realise that this is real! One.Big.Dream.
Sorry for the rant guys, but I'm sure most of you know how a little writing can temporarily make you feel heaps better. Even if none of it makes sense.
It could've gone into Notepad, but Notepad doesn't reply.
Have a good night! Ciou.
My best friend killed himself when I was 12. At the time I just thought "what a stupid bellend" but then it really hit me a few days later :' {
I'm not sure what to say though, I'm rubbish at emotional stuff.
I'm sorry though.
I'm not sure what to say though, I'm rubbish at emotional stuff.
I'm sorry though.
I didn't know what to say earlier i still dont now, losing someone you love is gutwrenching but to have the choose to leave you must be soul destroying and a terrible rejection.
Don't feel bad for being angry at her, it's not fair but some people just can't be saved.
Sleep well
Don't feel bad for being angry at her, it's not fair but some people just can't be saved.
Sleep well
Flock wrote:
> Sleep well
OO-er, plain creepy that.
A good friend of mine is going to die soon when smoking sends him to hell. Completely unnecessary, but it will be a sad day to see him go.
Don't feel too bad, she's still on Earth, just dead.
> Sleep well
OO-er, plain creepy that.
A good friend of mine is going to die soon when smoking sends him to hell. Completely unnecessary, but it will be a sad day to see him go.
Don't feel too bad, she's still on Earth, just dead.
Wow.
I'm sorry>
Death is still one of those things that I still haven't really gotten to grips with or understoof much of it too well, probably because it's never really affected me in any way yet, and, touch wood, won't happen for a long time yet.
I can't share any real words of wisdom or anything because, as I said, I've never experienced death around me. I can't even think how to comfort you in any way about it either, I've attended the funerals of my aunt and uncle, but never really knew them that well, so all I did was offer a shoulder to cry on then, for those who did. I can't do that now of course, but I'm thinking of something I could do.
I've racked my brains for this entire post thinking of something comforting to say, but it won't come. i'll probably babble for a while longer as I think about it.
OK, well, erm, all I can think of so far is that I hope it doesn't bring you down too much, (damn, that's corny), and that it's a long long time before you have to think these things again.
Err, that sounds terribly terrible, but it's the best I can come up with.
I'm not as cold and heartless as I can sometimes appear, and as usual, I'm feeling as if I'm diverting attention fom you to me for too long.
So I'll end this post.
Now.
I'm sorry>
Death is still one of those things that I still haven't really gotten to grips with or understoof much of it too well, probably because it's never really affected me in any way yet, and, touch wood, won't happen for a long time yet.
I can't share any real words of wisdom or anything because, as I said, I've never experienced death around me. I can't even think how to comfort you in any way about it either, I've attended the funerals of my aunt and uncle, but never really knew them that well, so all I did was offer a shoulder to cry on then, for those who did. I can't do that now of course, but I'm thinking of something I could do.
I've racked my brains for this entire post thinking of something comforting to say, but it won't come. i'll probably babble for a while longer as I think about it.
OK, well, erm, all I can think of so far is that I hope it doesn't bring you down too much, (damn, that's corny), and that it's a long long time before you have to think these things again.
Err, that sounds terribly terrible, but it's the best I can come up with.
I'm not as cold and heartless as I can sometimes appear, and as usual, I'm feeling as if I'm diverting attention fom you to me for too long.
So I'll end this post.
Now.
Well, I read it and feel sorry for you.
:(
Its sad that people so young see no alternative. I'd never do it but some days I feel so melancholy and sick of myself that I can't be bothered doing anything and just think my life over and over.
Anyway, sorry.
:(
Its sad that people so young see no alternative. I'd never do it but some days I feel so melancholy and sick of myself that I can't be bothered doing anything and just think my life over and over.
Anyway, sorry.
I can only imagine ...
Things suck sometimes.
I'd like to say I understand, but I can't.
The one and only experience of death I've had is when my grandad died - and that was when I was about 5, I can't even remember what I felt like and to be honest (and I do feel bad for saying this) I don't miss him, because I can really remember any times when I did see him.
But something like this ... it must be like someone's just punched you in the face. You want to stay home and be alone for a while ... but, in reality, there's nothing wrong with you, so people expect you to just get on with your life.
Things suck sometimes.
I'd like to say I understand, but I can't.
The one and only experience of death I've had is when my grandad died - and that was when I was about 5, I can't even remember what I felt like and to be honest (and I do feel bad for saying this) I don't miss him, because I can really remember any times when I did see him.
But something like this ... it must be like someone's just punched you in the face. You want to stay home and be alone for a while ... but, in reality, there's nothing wrong with you, so people expect you to just get on with your life.
So sorry about your loss, Ms. NY. :|
It'll be tough, these next few months. If you want my adivce, try and do what your friend couldn't. Look at the positives in life and live it to the full. Remember her* for the good things, not the bad.
*Assumption.
That's so corny, but it's all I can offer.
*Assumption.
That's so corny, but it's all I can offer.
I think it's better to face emotions and feelings than to try and hide from them, which um, yeah, so it's good to write stuff out like this and I wish I knew how you felt.
I kinda want to write about something but I don't want to take the spotlight or anything and I don't want to start a new topic, so um, can I have permission to babble about myself?
I kinda want to write about something but I don't want to take the spotlight or anything and I don't want to start a new topic, so um, can I have permission to babble about myself?
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