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For all you budding politicians:
Basically, it's a "dummy" election. Posters are allocated into groups, and have to start a campaign for other forum posters to vote for them.
If you're interested, let me know and say which party you want to be in.
Current Parties and their leaders:
Anarchist Party - Hedfix
"Bell...Hound?" - gerrid [URL]http://www.freewebs.com/bellhound/bellhound.html[/URL]
Center Catholic Party - Icarus
Cockshockers - cookie Monster
Communists - Zeus [URL]http://www.communism.com/[/URL]
Dog Eggs - J Nash
Gals Only - Lawrence
MRLP - AbsoluT Neo
The Fascist Social Democratic Workers Union - Memorandum [URL]http://www.freewebs.com/tkoio/index.htm[/URL]
Over Underdogs - Cweek2000
Socialists - Paradox:/Communist Jim/RoJ [URL]http://www.geocities.com/black_castle_uk/socialistpage.html[/URL]
Varsity Party - The Hibernator
____________________________
Current vote count:
Socialists - 2
Bell...Hound? - 5
Catholics - 1
Gals only - 1
The Fascist Social Democratic Workers Union - 1
Cockshockers - 1
_____________________________
Bell...Hound? are in power.
Basically, it's a "dummy" election. Posters are allocated into groups, and have to start a campaign for other forum posters to vote for them.
If you're interested, let me know and say which party you want to be in.
Current Parties and their leaders:
Anarchist Party - Hedfix
"Bell...Hound?" - gerrid [URL]http://www.freewebs.com/bellhound/bellhound.html[/URL]
Center Catholic Party - Icarus
Cockshockers - cookie Monster
Communists - Zeus [URL]http://www.communism.com/[/URL]
Dog Eggs - J Nash
Gals Only - Lawrence
MRLP - AbsoluT Neo
The Fascist Social Democratic Workers Union - Memorandum [URL]http://www.freewebs.com/tkoio/index.htm[/URL]
Over Underdogs - Cweek2000
Socialists - Paradox:/Communist Jim/RoJ [URL]http://www.geocities.com/black_castle_uk/socialistpage.html[/URL]
Varsity Party - The Hibernator
____________________________
Current vote count:
Socialists - 2
Bell...Hound? - 5
Catholics - 1
Gals only - 1
The Fascist Social Democratic Workers Union - 1
Cockshockers - 1
_____________________________
Bell...Hound? are in power.
Page:
Socialist Manifesto
As the leader (though it's all totally equal) of the socialist party
I aim to improve the following areas of policy:
Education:
- Everyone will be educated equally, presumably by some kind of computer
or machine or something.
- The stupid will be terminated at birth to avoid inconsistency
- If anyone exceeds the average intellegence they will be seen as a
revolutionary and terminated.
- Children will be indoctrinated with the communist ideals
- Women will not be educated as they are less equal than men
Jobs:
- Unemployment will be reduced to 0% within 4 months as the
kill-a-hobo scheme comes into play
- People receiving dole will be killed by anthrax in the welfare cheques
- More jobs will be created in the armed forces
- All jobs will pay the same, except the really good ones
- Prostitution will become a legal profession
Economy:
- Currency will be absolished and an arcade-style token scheme introduced
- We will not trade with other nations as it means wealthy industrialists
can rise to power and influence
- The budget will be spent equally on all sectors, except the Army, which
is more equal and gets 82% of the funding
- Tax will be abolised, Except direct and indirect taxes, which will double
Foreign Policy:
- No immigrants over 6-feet tall will be admitted to the country
- Only female immigrants will be admitted and will undergo a screening
test which involves a "hot-or-not" vote. If they are deemed hot they are
allowed to enter the country, where they must wear a shiny red hat and
satisfy men who request it. They will not be paid.
- No lesbians will be admitted, unless they agree to star in adult films
- We will build up the army and navy for an attack of Switzerland. They're
neutral and therefore will not see it coming. Their gold reserves will
boost our own economy and make us a key world power
Healthcare:
- We will develop an internal anti-virus system developed by McAffe
which you update weekly to prevent you from illness.
- Stem-cell research from fetuses will be used
- Morphine will be purchasable in chemists
Law:
- There will be less policemen and more bounty-huting robots with lasers
- It will become illegal not to fit into at least one of the following groups:
* Ninja
* Zombie
* Hooker
* Wolf-man
* Robot
* Heretic
* Assassin
* Drone
* Haxor
- The current drug laws will be abolised and drugs will be commonly
availible from government-hired dealers
- Ketamin will no longer be sold, especially to horses
- All horses will be destroyed in a ceremony of fire and blood
as well as other useless animals such as rabbits, deer, frogs, kangaroo,
geese and fish.
- Eating meat will be illegal, unless it is delicious meat
- Being vegitarian will be illegal unless you're a lesbian, in which case
it is expected.
- You are under no pressure to find a life partner, but if you do not
find one by the age of 20 you will be terminated by robots
- Polygamy is encouraged, people unwilling to enduce in 3-sums, 4-sums or
moresums will be punished with dire (colon-splitting) consequences.
Misc/other:
- Our logo will be the hammer and sickle, which we invented and nobody else
- People claiming the communists invented the logo will be culled
- Sweeden is our national enemy
- The national colour shall be vermillion, and it shall be worn on wednesdays
- Badges and stickers are permitted
- Thousand island dressing shall be frowned upon
- Inquests into whether video killed the radio star will be launched
Under the socialist regime your future shall be bright and/or average.
As the leader (though it's all totally equal) of the socialist party
I aim to improve the following areas of policy:
Education:
- Everyone will be educated equally, presumably by some kind of computer
or machine or something.
- The stupid will be terminated at birth to avoid inconsistency
- If anyone exceeds the average intellegence they will be seen as a
revolutionary and terminated.
- Children will be indoctrinated with the communist ideals
- Women will not be educated as they are less equal than men
Jobs:
- Unemployment will be reduced to 0% within 4 months as the
kill-a-hobo scheme comes into play
- People receiving dole will be killed by anthrax in the welfare cheques
- More jobs will be created in the armed forces
- All jobs will pay the same, except the really good ones
- Prostitution will become a legal profession
Economy:
- Currency will be absolished and an arcade-style token scheme introduced
- We will not trade with other nations as it means wealthy industrialists
can rise to power and influence
- The budget will be spent equally on all sectors, except the Army, which
is more equal and gets 82% of the funding
- Tax will be abolised, Except direct and indirect taxes, which will double
Foreign Policy:
- No immigrants over 6-feet tall will be admitted to the country
- Only female immigrants will be admitted and will undergo a screening
test which involves a "hot-or-not" vote. If they are deemed hot they are
allowed to enter the country, where they must wear a shiny red hat and
satisfy men who request it. They will not be paid.
- No lesbians will be admitted, unless they agree to star in adult films
- We will build up the army and navy for an attack of Switzerland. They're
neutral and therefore will not see it coming. Their gold reserves will
boost our own economy and make us a key world power
Healthcare:
- We will develop an internal anti-virus system developed by McAffe
which you update weekly to prevent you from illness.
- Stem-cell research from fetuses will be used
- Morphine will be purchasable in chemists
Law:
- There will be less policemen and more bounty-huting robots with lasers
- It will become illegal not to fit into at least one of the following groups:
* Ninja
* Zombie
* Hooker
* Wolf-man
* Robot
* Heretic
* Assassin
* Drone
* Haxor
- The current drug laws will be abolised and drugs will be commonly
availible from government-hired dealers
- Ketamin will no longer be sold, especially to horses
- All horses will be destroyed in a ceremony of fire and blood
as well as other useless animals such as rabbits, deer, frogs, kangaroo,
geese and fish.
- Eating meat will be illegal, unless it is delicious meat
- Being vegitarian will be illegal unless you're a lesbian, in which case
it is expected.
- You are under no pressure to find a life partner, but if you do not
find one by the age of 20 you will be terminated by robots
- Polygamy is encouraged, people unwilling to enduce in 3-sums, 4-sums or
moresums will be punished with dire (colon-splitting) consequences.
Misc/other:
- Our logo will be the hammer and sickle, which we invented and nobody else
- People claiming the communists invented the logo will be culled
- Sweeden is our national enemy
- The national colour shall be vermillion, and it shall be worn on wednesdays
- Badges and stickers are permitted
- Thousand island dressing shall be frowned upon
- Inquests into whether video killed the radio star will be launched
Under the socialist regime your future shall be bright and/or average.
Hooray, i have a party and no real direction.
I would create a manifesto but i cba. Thats the spirit of this party. Oh and nerf shaman.
I would create a manifesto but i cba. Thats the spirit of this party. Oh and nerf shaman.
I've stolen this from Goatboy and Mark Thomas, but...
I'm campaigning for the King Of Everything party. If elected, I promise to invade France, p!ss in their wine, and smash up their onions. I will deliver my victory speech astride a Lion in Trafalger Square. Ownership of either wolves or bears will be mandatory for all members of parliament. Women will be treated entirely equally; any of that reverse-sexism cockrot that is used by self described feminists will be punishable by silicone implants, plastic surgery, and a career in low quality gism-flicks.
I'm campaigning for the King Of Everything party. If elected, I promise to invade France, p!ss in their wine, and smash up their onions. I will deliver my victory speech astride a Lion in Trafalger Square. Ownership of either wolves or bears will be mandatory for all members of parliament. Women will be treated entirely equally; any of that reverse-sexism cockrot that is used by self described feminists will be punishable by silicone implants, plastic surgery, and a career in low quality gism-flicks.
J-42, Reinstate Trostsky_RoJ into my cabinet you half-wit
Haha Gerrid that was an awesome manifesto.
J-42 wrote:
> Paradox: wrote:
> When did RoJ become a leader?
>
> WHA!
>
> I thought yo were all together. Shalll I take him off?
Nah leave him, he'll do.
> Paradox: wrote:
> When did RoJ become a leader?
>
> WHA!
>
> I thought yo were all together. Shalll I take him off?
Nah leave him, he'll do.
bell...hound? Manifesto
look I know it sounds a bit like bellend shut up!
'Freedom through combustion'
Population control
-The country will be encompassed by a magnetic field that makes all humans (except me and anyone I choose) explode at age 2 days.
-All existing citizens and all newborn babies will be implanted with an electronic bio-monitoring chip, which creates an anti-magnetic field around the citizen, preventing explosion
-Anyone entering the country without a bio-chip will explode
-Anyone who breaks any law will explode (adherance to laws is monitored directly by the chip), as their chip shuts down
-Anyone who I don't like will explode
-Application can be made to request the explosion of someone else. If application is successful they will explode, as will the applicant.
-Wannabe immigrants who pass various tests (inculding electrified mazes and fights to the death) will be allocated chips before entering the country
-Anyone who doesn't vote for me will explode once I get into power
-Crime and general unpleasantness will be at 0% within one year
Jobs and Economy
-Jobs will be allocated at birth.
-Anyone who complains about their job will explode
-Anyone found to be substandard at their job will explode
-There will be free trains everywhere, but they won't ever stop, so you'll have to jump onto them as they hurtle through the station. Trains will be 100% efficient within 1 month
-*A levelling up system will be introduced, whereby higher level players (citizens) may impart advice and items to lower level citizens, and/or kill them for experience points
-*Experience points can be gained in any number of ways, but are dependant on your class type. For instance, Robot Maclean will be unable to gain experience in cat handling, but will have an accelerated rate of robot cleaning experience gain
-Ore will be mined at regular intervals
Housing
-All citizens will be allocated teams
-Oftentimes newborns will be allocated to different teams from their parents
-Teams will live in different forts and will be governed locally by Kings,
-Once a month teams will fight for control of their territory
-The wounded will explode
-Any territory won in battle is legally occupied by the victorious team
-Everyone who votes for me will be allocated as King of a team
National Defence
-A brief spell in the army will be mandatory during the final year at school
-Bio-nuclear munitions manufacture will commence immediately
-There will be no terrorism as all terrorists will explode
-We will never be invaded as all invaders will explode
*International
-Alliances will be made with all countries.
-Export and Import will be permitted, except all import and export from other countries
-Once the army is large enough, and our stock of bio-nuclear munitions is dangerously high, we will attack all countries. As they are our allies none of them will be expecting it, and so none of them will have any armies to defend themselves, not that it would matter, as they would get wiped out in an explosion of bio-nuclear proportions
-Armies of mobile, virus delivering plants will be created, and sent forth throughout the world. When the time comes, they will unleash their deadly venom, which will cause severe internal combustion in all living human people. Then we can invade their lands and create more space for ourselves
Miscellaneous
-Anyone who opposes immigration will not be allowed to use any services or products made possible by immigration
-The official greeting will be "bell...hound?" and the reply will be "you ****** what, mate?"
-Names will be allocated by the state at birth and will depend on profession and heritage. For instance: Synthesizer Patel, Dog Egg Hudson, Aeroplane Hutchinson, Grandpa Friel, Orlen Schlink
-I will drive around in a huge car
-*Participation in National ARGs (Alternate Reality Games) will be mandatory for all. Failure to carry out tasks as requested by the ARG master will result in explosion of the brain
-*All disease will be eliminated by mobile, anti-virus sharks
-*Anyone with a communicable disease will explode
That is all. Any popular ideas from other parties will be assimilated into the Manifesto.
Become a bell...hound? and we can be Kings together. Forever.
look I know it sounds a bit like bellend shut up!
'Freedom through combustion'
Population control
-The country will be encompassed by a magnetic field that makes all humans (except me and anyone I choose) explode at age 2 days.
-All existing citizens and all newborn babies will be implanted with an electronic bio-monitoring chip, which creates an anti-magnetic field around the citizen, preventing explosion
-Anyone entering the country without a bio-chip will explode
-Anyone who breaks any law will explode (adherance to laws is monitored directly by the chip), as their chip shuts down
-Anyone who I don't like will explode
-Application can be made to request the explosion of someone else. If application is successful they will explode, as will the applicant.
-Wannabe immigrants who pass various tests (inculding electrified mazes and fights to the death) will be allocated chips before entering the country
-Anyone who doesn't vote for me will explode once I get into power
-Crime and general unpleasantness will be at 0% within one year
Jobs and Economy
-Jobs will be allocated at birth.
-Anyone who complains about their job will explode
-Anyone found to be substandard at their job will explode
-There will be free trains everywhere, but they won't ever stop, so you'll have to jump onto them as they hurtle through the station. Trains will be 100% efficient within 1 month
-*A levelling up system will be introduced, whereby higher level players (citizens) may impart advice and items to lower level citizens, and/or kill them for experience points
-*Experience points can be gained in any number of ways, but are dependant on your class type. For instance, Robot Maclean will be unable to gain experience in cat handling, but will have an accelerated rate of robot cleaning experience gain
-Ore will be mined at regular intervals
Housing
-All citizens will be allocated teams
-Oftentimes newborns will be allocated to different teams from their parents
-Teams will live in different forts and will be governed locally by Kings,
-Once a month teams will fight for control of their territory
-The wounded will explode
-Any territory won in battle is legally occupied by the victorious team
-Everyone who votes for me will be allocated as King of a team
National Defence
-A brief spell in the army will be mandatory during the final year at school
-Bio-nuclear munitions manufacture will commence immediately
-There will be no terrorism as all terrorists will explode
-We will never be invaded as all invaders will explode
*International
-Alliances will be made with all countries.
-Export and Import will be permitted, except all import and export from other countries
-Once the army is large enough, and our stock of bio-nuclear munitions is dangerously high, we will attack all countries. As they are our allies none of them will be expecting it, and so none of them will have any armies to defend themselves, not that it would matter, as they would get wiped out in an explosion of bio-nuclear proportions
-Armies of mobile, virus delivering plants will be created, and sent forth throughout the world. When the time comes, they will unleash their deadly venom, which will cause severe internal combustion in all living human people. Then we can invade their lands and create more space for ourselves
Miscellaneous
-Anyone who opposes immigration will not be allowed to use any services or products made possible by immigration
-The official greeting will be "bell...hound?" and the reply will be "you ****** what, mate?"
-Names will be allocated by the state at birth and will depend on profession and heritage. For instance: Synthesizer Patel, Dog Egg Hudson, Aeroplane Hutchinson, Grandpa Friel, Orlen Schlink
-I will drive around in a huge car
-*Participation in National ARGs (Alternate Reality Games) will be mandatory for all. Failure to carry out tasks as requested by the ARG master will result in explosion of the brain
-*All disease will be eliminated by mobile, anti-virus sharks
-*Anyone with a communicable disease will explode
That is all. Any popular ideas from other parties will be assimilated into the Manifesto.
Become a bell...hound? and we can be Kings together. Forever.
I have renamed my party:
the Fascist Social Democratic Worker's Union.
the Fascist Social Democratic Worker's Union.
Can't wait.
I will be posting a full manifesto in a few moments.
Page: