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January 1st 2005
11.27am:
WOOHOO! Good. Morning. World! Good morning diary! Sure, why not? Good morning moderately priced Argos alarm clock.
Ok, I need to calm down.
11.35am: (one coffee later)
I know I have never written in you or one of the many other diaries that I have accumulated over the years from different elderly relatives on birthdays and other such special occasions, but this is mainly due to never having had anything interesting enough to write about. Well this all changed at about 11.15pm last night.
I LOST MY VIRGINITY! I think it's one of those life defining moments when you really become a man. Other such moments include - discovering your first pubic hair, the first time you realise you have the ability to grow a full moustache and waking up to find your very first chest hair. Come to think of it, most of the defining moments in a man’s life seem to involve some sort of body hair.
So, if you couple the fact that last night I had sex for the very first time and this morning I discovered my first chest hair, (just to right of my left nipple), you can begin to understand just how masculine I am feeling at this moment.
I think it’s a little strange that having felt less then a man for years that both these events happened at the same time. Maybe there connected in some way? Maybe the more times you have sex the more hairy you become? If this in fact turns out to be the case, hats of to Pete Sampras. A true grand-slam man! Who would think that after 5 hours of tennis that you would have that kind of energy?
Anyway, I digress. It was a wonderful moment and one that I will remember for the rest of my life it was. I suspect it was quite traditional. You know the story,
December 31st
10.30pm
*Boy meets girl*
10.31pm
*Girl politely listens to boy’s nonsensical waffle*
10.31pm – 11.12pm
*Girl drinks around seven Smirnoff Ice’s*
11.13pm
*Girl starts to believe she misjudged boy and he is in fact much better looking then first thought*
11.15pm
*Boy and girl get pelvic*
That old chestnut.
Anyway, I did enjoy last night, very much so in fact. But oh, my, god I am glad that it’s over and done with.
I liken losing ones virginity to having the Tuberculosis inoculation. You know, you here about it from older people after its happened to them. As you get older you know that the time is getting closer and closer and then, when the time comes, as it turns out, you needn’t have worried so much anyway - because it’s all over in a matter of seconds. You just stick a little something in, release some fluid, pull it back out again and then wipe up any run-over.
Upon waking up this morning I then had to endure the ranting about how this was a one-time thing. How it was the alcohol and I was to never tell anyone. I swore I wouldn’t tell. So this is between you and me diary. You and me.
See you tomorrow when I hope to have developed my second chest hair.
GOD BLESS SMIRNOFF!!
11.27am:
WOOHOO! Good. Morning. World! Good morning diary! Sure, why not? Good morning moderately priced Argos alarm clock.
Ok, I need to calm down.
11.35am: (one coffee later)
I know I have never written in you or one of the many other diaries that I have accumulated over the years from different elderly relatives on birthdays and other such special occasions, but this is mainly due to never having had anything interesting enough to write about. Well this all changed at about 11.15pm last night.
I LOST MY VIRGINITY! I think it's one of those life defining moments when you really become a man. Other such moments include - discovering your first pubic hair, the first time you realise you have the ability to grow a full moustache and waking up to find your very first chest hair. Come to think of it, most of the defining moments in a man’s life seem to involve some sort of body hair.
So, if you couple the fact that last night I had sex for the very first time and this morning I discovered my first chest hair, (just to right of my left nipple), you can begin to understand just how masculine I am feeling at this moment.
I think it’s a little strange that having felt less then a man for years that both these events happened at the same time. Maybe there connected in some way? Maybe the more times you have sex the more hairy you become? If this in fact turns out to be the case, hats of to Pete Sampras. A true grand-slam man! Who would think that after 5 hours of tennis that you would have that kind of energy?
Anyway, I digress. It was a wonderful moment and one that I will remember for the rest of my life it was. I suspect it was quite traditional. You know the story,
December 31st
10.30pm
*Boy meets girl*
10.31pm
*Girl politely listens to boy’s nonsensical waffle*
10.31pm – 11.12pm
*Girl drinks around seven Smirnoff Ice’s*
11.13pm
*Girl starts to believe she misjudged boy and he is in fact much better looking then first thought*
11.15pm
*Boy and girl get pelvic*
That old chestnut.
Anyway, I did enjoy last night, very much so in fact. But oh, my, god I am glad that it’s over and done with.
I liken losing ones virginity to having the Tuberculosis inoculation. You know, you here about it from older people after its happened to them. As you get older you know that the time is getting closer and closer and then, when the time comes, as it turns out, you needn’t have worried so much anyway - because it’s all over in a matter of seconds. You just stick a little something in, release some fluid, pull it back out again and then wipe up any run-over.
Upon waking up this morning I then had to endure the ranting about how this was a one-time thing. How it was the alcohol and I was to never tell anyone. I swore I wouldn’t tell. So this is between you and me diary. You and me.
See you tomorrow when I hope to have developed my second chest hair.
GOD BLESS SMIRNOFF!!
Page:
I wrote this ages ago and yes it is fake.
The errors in grammar are to show his excitement and inexperience...yus
Ta, but no need to quote it all...
The errors in grammar are to show his excitement and inexperience...yus
Ta, but no need to quote it all...
English_Bloke wrote:
> January 1st 2005
> 11.27am:
> WOOHOO! Good. Morning. World! Good morning diary! Sure, why not? Good
> morning moderately priced Argos alarm clock.
>
> Ok, I need to calm down.
>
> 11.35am: (one coffee later)
> I know I have never written in you or one of the many other diaries
> that I have accumulated over the years from different elderly
> relatives on birthdays and other such special occasions, but this is
> mainly due to never having had anything interesting enough to write
> about. Well this all changed at about 11.15pm last night.
>
> I LOST MY VIRGINITY! I think it's one of those life defining moments
> when you really become a man. Other such moments include -
> discovering your first pubic hair, the first time you realise you
> have the ability to grow a full moustache and waking up to find your
> very first chest hair. Come to think of it, most of the defining
> moments in a man’s life seem to involve some sort of body hair.
> So, if you couple the fact that last night I had sex for the very
> first time and this morning I discovered my first chest hair, (just
> to right of my left nipple), you can begin to understand just how
> masculine I am feeling at this moment.
>
> I think it’s a little strange that having felt less then a man for
> years that both these events happened at the same time. Maybe there
> connected in some way? Maybe the more times you have sex the more
> hairy you become? If this in fact turns out to be the case, hats of
> to Pete Sampras. A true grand-slam man! Who would think that after 5
> hours of tennis that you would have that kind of energy?
> Anyway, I digress. It was a wonderful moment and one that I will
> remember for the rest of my life it was. I suspect it was quite
> traditional. You know the story,
>
> December 31st
> 10.30pm
> *Boy meets girl*
>
> 10.31pm
> *Girl politely listens to boy’s nonsensical waffle*
>
> 10.31pm – 11.12pm
> *Girl drinks around seven Smirnoff Ice’s*
>
> 11.13pm
> *Girl starts to believe she misjudged boy and he is in fact much
> better looking then first thought*
>
> 11.15pm
> *Boy and girl get pelvic*
>
> That old chestnut.
>
> Anyway, I did enjoy last night, very much so in fact. But oh, my, god
> I am glad that it’s over and done with.
> I liken losing ones virginity to having the Tuberculosis inoculation.
> You know, you here about it from older people after its happened to
> them. As you get older you know that the time is getting closer and
> closer and then, when the time comes, as it turns out, you needn’t
> have worried so much anyway - because it’s all over in a matter of
> seconds. You just stick a little something in, release some fluid,
> pull it back out again and then wipe up any run-over.
>
> Upon waking up this morning I then had to endure the ranting about
> how this was a one-time thing. How it was the alcohol and I was to
> never tell anyone. I swore I wouldn’t tell. So this is between you
> and me diary. You and me.
> See you tomorrow when I hope to have developed my second chest hair.
>
> GOD BLESS SMIRNOFF!!
I assume this is fictional. If not, then you are very brave (not the charge-in-and-save-my-buddy-in-battle type brave, more the lets-walk-through-a-minefield-I'll-go-first type brave), but foolish.
But yes, I like it a lot. Charming, pleasant, very teenage. A few grammatical errors (try just re-reading your work when done) and the euphoria comes and goes, but overall, harmless and nice.
> January 1st 2005
> 11.27am:
> WOOHOO! Good. Morning. World! Good morning diary! Sure, why not? Good
> morning moderately priced Argos alarm clock.
>
> Ok, I need to calm down.
>
> 11.35am: (one coffee later)
> I know I have never written in you or one of the many other diaries
> that I have accumulated over the years from different elderly
> relatives on birthdays and other such special occasions, but this is
> mainly due to never having had anything interesting enough to write
> about. Well this all changed at about 11.15pm last night.
>
> I LOST MY VIRGINITY! I think it's one of those life defining moments
> when you really become a man. Other such moments include -
> discovering your first pubic hair, the first time you realise you
> have the ability to grow a full moustache and waking up to find your
> very first chest hair. Come to think of it, most of the defining
> moments in a man’s life seem to involve some sort of body hair.
> So, if you couple the fact that last night I had sex for the very
> first time and this morning I discovered my first chest hair, (just
> to right of my left nipple), you can begin to understand just how
> masculine I am feeling at this moment.
>
> I think it’s a little strange that having felt less then a man for
> years that both these events happened at the same time. Maybe there
> connected in some way? Maybe the more times you have sex the more
> hairy you become? If this in fact turns out to be the case, hats of
> to Pete Sampras. A true grand-slam man! Who would think that after 5
> hours of tennis that you would have that kind of energy?
> Anyway, I digress. It was a wonderful moment and one that I will
> remember for the rest of my life it was. I suspect it was quite
> traditional. You know the story,
>
> December 31st
> 10.30pm
> *Boy meets girl*
>
> 10.31pm
> *Girl politely listens to boy’s nonsensical waffle*
>
> 10.31pm – 11.12pm
> *Girl drinks around seven Smirnoff Ice’s*
>
> 11.13pm
> *Girl starts to believe she misjudged boy and he is in fact much
> better looking then first thought*
>
> 11.15pm
> *Boy and girl get pelvic*
>
> That old chestnut.
>
> Anyway, I did enjoy last night, very much so in fact. But oh, my, god
> I am glad that it’s over and done with.
> I liken losing ones virginity to having the Tuberculosis inoculation.
> You know, you here about it from older people after its happened to
> them. As you get older you know that the time is getting closer and
> closer and then, when the time comes, as it turns out, you needn’t
> have worried so much anyway - because it’s all over in a matter of
> seconds. You just stick a little something in, release some fluid,
> pull it back out again and then wipe up any run-over.
>
> Upon waking up this morning I then had to endure the ranting about
> how this was a one-time thing. How it was the alcohol and I was to
> never tell anyone. I swore I wouldn’t tell. So this is between you
> and me diary. You and me.
> See you tomorrow when I hope to have developed my second chest hair.
>
> GOD BLESS SMIRNOFF!!
I assume this is fictional. If not, then you are very brave (not the charge-in-and-save-my-buddy-in-battle type brave, more the lets-walk-through-a-minefield-I'll-go-first type brave), but foolish.
But yes, I like it a lot. Charming, pleasant, very teenage. A few grammatical errors (try just re-reading your work when done) and the euphoria comes and goes, but overall, harmless and nice.
January 1st 2005
11.27am:
WOOHOO! Good. Morning. World! Good morning diary! Sure, why not? Good morning moderately priced Argos alarm clock.
Ok, I need to calm down.
11.35am: (one coffee later)
I know I have never written in you or one of the many other diaries that I have accumulated over the years from different elderly relatives on birthdays and other such special occasions, but this is mainly due to never having had anything interesting enough to write about. Well this all changed at about 11.15pm last night.
I LOST MY VIRGINITY! I think it's one of those life defining moments when you really become a man. Other such moments include - discovering your first pubic hair, the first time you realise you have the ability to grow a full moustache and waking up to find your very first chest hair. Come to think of it, most of the defining moments in a man’s life seem to involve some sort of body hair.
So, if you couple the fact that last night I had sex for the very first time and this morning I discovered my first chest hair, (just to right of my left nipple), you can begin to understand just how masculine I am feeling at this moment.
I think it’s a little strange that having felt less then a man for years that both these events happened at the same time. Maybe there connected in some way? Maybe the more times you have sex the more hairy you become? If this in fact turns out to be the case, hats of to Pete Sampras. A true grand-slam man! Who would think that after 5 hours of tennis that you would have that kind of energy?
Anyway, I digress. It was a wonderful moment and one that I will remember for the rest of my life it was. I suspect it was quite traditional. You know the story,
December 31st
10.30pm
*Boy meets girl*
10.31pm
*Girl politely listens to boy’s nonsensical waffle*
10.31pm – 11.12pm
*Girl drinks around seven Smirnoff Ice’s*
11.13pm
*Girl starts to believe she misjudged boy and he is in fact much better looking then first thought*
11.15pm
*Boy and girl get pelvic*
That old chestnut.
Anyway, I did enjoy last night, very much so in fact. But oh, my, god I am glad that it’s over and done with.
I liken losing ones virginity to having the Tuberculosis inoculation. You know, you here about it from older people after its happened to them. As you get older you know that the time is getting closer and closer and then, when the time comes, as it turns out, you needn’t have worried so much anyway - because it’s all over in a matter of seconds. You just stick a little something in, release some fluid, pull it back out again and then wipe up any run-over.
Upon waking up this morning I then had to endure the ranting about how this was a one-time thing. How it was the alcohol and I was to never tell anyone. I swore I wouldn’t tell. So this is between you and me diary. You and me.
See you tomorrow when I hope to have developed my second chest hair.
GOD BLESS SMIRNOFF!!
11.27am:
WOOHOO! Good. Morning. World! Good morning diary! Sure, why not? Good morning moderately priced Argos alarm clock.
Ok, I need to calm down.
11.35am: (one coffee later)
I know I have never written in you or one of the many other diaries that I have accumulated over the years from different elderly relatives on birthdays and other such special occasions, but this is mainly due to never having had anything interesting enough to write about. Well this all changed at about 11.15pm last night.
I LOST MY VIRGINITY! I think it's one of those life defining moments when you really become a man. Other such moments include - discovering your first pubic hair, the first time you realise you have the ability to grow a full moustache and waking up to find your very first chest hair. Come to think of it, most of the defining moments in a man’s life seem to involve some sort of body hair.
So, if you couple the fact that last night I had sex for the very first time and this morning I discovered my first chest hair, (just to right of my left nipple), you can begin to understand just how masculine I am feeling at this moment.
I think it’s a little strange that having felt less then a man for years that both these events happened at the same time. Maybe there connected in some way? Maybe the more times you have sex the more hairy you become? If this in fact turns out to be the case, hats of to Pete Sampras. A true grand-slam man! Who would think that after 5 hours of tennis that you would have that kind of energy?
Anyway, I digress. It was a wonderful moment and one that I will remember for the rest of my life it was. I suspect it was quite traditional. You know the story,
December 31st
10.30pm
*Boy meets girl*
10.31pm
*Girl politely listens to boy’s nonsensical waffle*
10.31pm – 11.12pm
*Girl drinks around seven Smirnoff Ice’s*
11.13pm
*Girl starts to believe she misjudged boy and he is in fact much better looking then first thought*
11.15pm
*Boy and girl get pelvic*
That old chestnut.
Anyway, I did enjoy last night, very much so in fact. But oh, my, god I am glad that it’s over and done with.
I liken losing ones virginity to having the Tuberculosis inoculation. You know, you here about it from older people after its happened to them. As you get older you know that the time is getting closer and closer and then, when the time comes, as it turns out, you needn’t have worried so much anyway - because it’s all over in a matter of seconds. You just stick a little something in, release some fluid, pull it back out again and then wipe up any run-over.
Upon waking up this morning I then had to endure the ranting about how this was a one-time thing. How it was the alcohol and I was to never tell anyone. I swore I wouldn’t tell. So this is between you and me diary. You and me.
See you tomorrow when I hope to have developed my second chest hair.
GOD BLESS SMIRNOFF!!
Page: