The "Creative Writing" forum, which includes Retro Game Reviews, has been archived and is now read-only. You cannot post here or create a new thread or review on this forum.
WHY WHY WHY WHY WHYYYYYYYY DID YOU HAVE TO DO IT WHY DID YOU HAVE TO KILL HIM WHAT WAS THE POINT.I asked myself after just killing someone. I had shot him right and throwen him off the bolcany but only coz I was made to. I was so stupid for doing what Mike had told me to do. I had just watched the Man I had killed plumit too the ground and watch blood splater from his head!
Yesterday night the pub. Mike laying in front of me as drunk as a skunk. He starts talking a load of crap but it sounds like he really wants this to happen! "Do you know I want the boss of Ribeana dead coz the other day I found a sharp pin in my Ribeana and I nearly shallowed it! I nearly died so now I want him to die. I didn't know what mike was chatting on about. He sounded so stupid. So later that night what did I do I rang up the boss of Ribeana and scared him by saying his was going to die Tomorrow! So the next morning I went and met Mike at the warehouse. He had a gun on him he throw it to me and gave me a gun too! "I thought you were only joking when you said you wanted him dead!" I screamed "No I wasn't Eric I really want him dead and I want him dead today" Replyed Mike. He also gave me a camera too. "Whats this for" I asked. "To take Pictures of him when he's dead" Answered Mike. "Alright then" I said.
I walked out the warehouse and got into my car I sped off down the road to the Ribeana Warehouse! When I arrived I jumped over the gate and ran in no one was around. I ran for it and ran into the building I looked around and checked for people. I saw a man and quickly hid behind a box he walked away and I ran up some steps looking for the Bosses room. I turned round a corner and ran down a little corridor I saw the bosses door. I kicked it open and saw him sitting there. "What the hell do you want" he screamed. I pulled the gun out and held it up in front of me and shot everything was going slow the bullets froze in front of his head then time started up again the bullet flew straight though his head I watched his brains smashed against the wall. I grabbed hold of the body and smashed it though the back window I saw him fly over the balcony. I ran and looked down his body slowly flew down and splatted to the ground. And thats how the storie is I still stand here now watching his body lay there cold and dead!
I span round and ran for it I smashed though the front doors and ran outside I jumped in my car and sped down the road back to the warehouse. When I got to the warehouse I walked over to Mike "The job is done Mike the Ribeana man is dead" I told him. He just stood there not talking I looked down at the table next to him. There was a bottle of Ribeana on the he had druken it I opened up his mouth blood came pouring out he had swallowed a spike. He had Druken the Ribeana of death!
Yesterday night the pub. Mike laying in front of me as drunk as a skunk. He starts talking a load of crap but it sounds like he really wants this to happen! "Do you know I want the boss of Ribeana dead coz the other day I found a sharp pin in my Ribeana and I nearly shallowed it! I nearly died so now I want him to die. I didn't know what mike was chatting on about. He sounded so stupid. So later that night what did I do I rang up the boss of Ribeana and scared him by saying his was going to die Tomorrow! So the next morning I went and met Mike at the warehouse. He had a gun on him he throw it to me and gave me a gun too! "I thought you were only joking when you said you wanted him dead!" I screamed "No I wasn't Eric I really want him dead and I want him dead today" Replyed Mike. He also gave me a camera too. "Whats this for" I asked. "To take Pictures of him when he's dead" Answered Mike. "Alright then" I said.
I walked out the warehouse and got into my car I sped off down the road to the Ribeana Warehouse! When I arrived I jumped over the gate and ran in no one was around. I ran for it and ran into the building I looked around and checked for people. I saw a man and quickly hid behind a box he walked away and I ran up some steps looking for the Bosses room. I turned round a corner and ran down a little corridor I saw the bosses door. I kicked it open and saw him sitting there. "What the hell do you want" he screamed. I pulled the gun out and held it up in front of me and shot everything was going slow the bullets froze in front of his head then time started up again the bullet flew straight though his head I watched his brains smashed against the wall. I grabbed hold of the body and smashed it though the back window I saw him fly over the balcony. I ran and looked down his body slowly flew down and splatted to the ground. And thats how the storie is I still stand here now watching his body lay there cold and dead!
I span round and ran for it I smashed though the front doors and ran outside I jumped in my car and sped down the road back to the warehouse. When I got to the warehouse I walked over to Mike "The job is done Mike the Ribeana man is dead" I told him. He just stood there not talking I looked down at the table next to him. There was a bottle of Ribeana on the he had druken it I opened up his mouth blood came pouring out he had swallowed a spike. He had Druken the Ribeana of death!
Page:
Yeah, I'm a bit bored of you now.
Come back with something more interesting.
Come back with something more interesting.
Some classic crossbob there. Poor spelling and punctuation, a character called Mike, and a fair amount of gore. A little bit of slo-mo and it would've been perfect.
Ribeana? To avoid copyright purposes I assume. Nice how you fitted Mike into it though, and the grammar etc was highly original.
WHY WHY WHY WHY WHYYYYYYYY DID YOU HAVE TO DO IT WHY DID YOU HAVE TO KILL HIM WHAT WAS THE POINT.I asked myself after just killing someone. I had shot him right and throwen him off the bolcany but only coz I was made to. I was so stupid for doing what Mike had told me to do. I had just watched the Man I had killed plumit too the ground and watch blood splater from his head!
Yesterday night the pub. Mike laying in front of me as drunk as a skunk. He starts talking a load of crap but it sounds like he really wants this to happen! "Do you know I want the boss of Ribeana dead coz the other day I found a sharp pin in my Ribeana and I nearly shallowed it! I nearly died so now I want him to die. I didn't know what mike was chatting on about. He sounded so stupid. So later that night what did I do I rang up the boss of Ribeana and scared him by saying his was going to die Tomorrow! So the next morning I went and met Mike at the warehouse. He had a gun on him he throw it to me and gave me a gun too! "I thought you were only joking when you said you wanted him dead!" I screamed "No I wasn't Eric I really want him dead and I want him dead today" Replyed Mike. He also gave me a camera too. "Whats this for" I asked. "To take Pictures of him when he's dead" Answered Mike. "Alright then" I said.
I walked out the warehouse and got into my car I sped off down the road to the Ribeana Warehouse! When I arrived I jumped over the gate and ran in no one was around. I ran for it and ran into the building I looked around and checked for people. I saw a man and quickly hid behind a box he walked away and I ran up some steps looking for the Bosses room. I turned round a corner and ran down a little corridor I saw the bosses door. I kicked it open and saw him sitting there. "What the hell do you want" he screamed. I pulled the gun out and held it up in front of me and shot everything was going slow the bullets froze in front of his head then time started up again the bullet flew straight though his head I watched his brains smashed against the wall. I grabbed hold of the body and smashed it though the back window I saw him fly over the balcony. I ran and looked down his body slowly flew down and splatted to the ground. And thats how the storie is I still stand here now watching his body lay there cold and dead!
I span round and ran for it I smashed though the front doors and ran outside I jumped in my car and sped down the road back to the warehouse. When I got to the warehouse I walked over to Mike "The job is done Mike the Ribeana man is dead" I told him. He just stood there not talking I looked down at the table next to him. There was a bottle of Ribeana on the he had druken it I opened up his mouth blood came pouring out he had swallowed a spike. He had Druken the Ribeana of death!
Yesterday night the pub. Mike laying in front of me as drunk as a skunk. He starts talking a load of crap but it sounds like he really wants this to happen! "Do you know I want the boss of Ribeana dead coz the other day I found a sharp pin in my Ribeana and I nearly shallowed it! I nearly died so now I want him to die. I didn't know what mike was chatting on about. He sounded so stupid. So later that night what did I do I rang up the boss of Ribeana and scared him by saying his was going to die Tomorrow! So the next morning I went and met Mike at the warehouse. He had a gun on him he throw it to me and gave me a gun too! "I thought you were only joking when you said you wanted him dead!" I screamed "No I wasn't Eric I really want him dead and I want him dead today" Replyed Mike. He also gave me a camera too. "Whats this for" I asked. "To take Pictures of him when he's dead" Answered Mike. "Alright then" I said.
I walked out the warehouse and got into my car I sped off down the road to the Ribeana Warehouse! When I arrived I jumped over the gate and ran in no one was around. I ran for it and ran into the building I looked around and checked for people. I saw a man and quickly hid behind a box he walked away and I ran up some steps looking for the Bosses room. I turned round a corner and ran down a little corridor I saw the bosses door. I kicked it open and saw him sitting there. "What the hell do you want" he screamed. I pulled the gun out and held it up in front of me and shot everything was going slow the bullets froze in front of his head then time started up again the bullet flew straight though his head I watched his brains smashed against the wall. I grabbed hold of the body and smashed it though the back window I saw him fly over the balcony. I ran and looked down his body slowly flew down and splatted to the ground. And thats how the storie is I still stand here now watching his body lay there cold and dead!
I span round and ran for it I smashed though the front doors and ran outside I jumped in my car and sped down the road back to the warehouse. When I got to the warehouse I walked over to Mike "The job is done Mike the Ribeana man is dead" I told him. He just stood there not talking I looked down at the table next to him. There was a bottle of Ribeana on the he had druken it I opened up his mouth blood came pouring out he had swallowed a spike. He had Druken the Ribeana of death!
Page: