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Woops sorry forgot to do a title this is a entry for SSC 20 its called Scales of Life!
Waking up,walking to the bathroom,my back hurts,i've been laying wrong in bed. I drop to the floor and drag myself along it into the bathroom. I then pull myself up with the sink. I grabbed the Scales haven't weighed myself in ages and I was getting quite fat. As my cold feet stand on to the scales I feel it push down into the floor it sounds like its cracking as it goes up the numbers. My mouths is gapping so much it has just landed on twenty. I faint to the floor and black out. Minutes later I wake with blood dripping from my head and dribble dripping from my mouth. I couldn't get back up I felt so ill. As I tried sit up it felt like my stomach was rolling. My feet bent forwards I nearly got up but just dropped to the floor I fell and smashed on to the scales they smashed to bits the glass from the scales stabbed into me.
I dragged myself across the floor again I had to get to my mobile that was the closeist thing I could get to the phone was very far away as I dragged myself along the floor the glass scrapped across my stomach. The pain shot though my body. Blood ran down my body as I got to my mobile I picked it up and tryed to call my mum. But then that stupid message came on saying I didn't have any credit. I got so mad and threw my mobile at the wall I watched it smash in front of my eyes I was feeling so mad and ill now. Why couldn't I get up had I eaten something bad had some spiked my drink last night and made me fill really ill,did I have a disease. I picked a glass and threw it at the wall too I felt so crazy smashing glasses at the wall I grabbed my gun and held it at my head.
Was life worth living anymore I couldn't get up I had glass stabbed into my body,blood ran down my body,I felt so ill,my scales were broken,I felt so mad and I just wanted to die. A knock came at my door "Jake you in there you ok the neighbours told me they heard smashing" called Tim he was my friend. "Im sorry Tim but I feel so ill and I want to die so goodbye Tim your my best friend and must die now goodbye" I called. "No Jake don't do it please" screamed Tim. I pulled the trigger and blew my brains at the wall.
I had now broken the scales and these were the real scales the scales of life!
Waking up,walking to the bathroom,my back hurts,i've been laying wrong in bed. I drop to the floor and drag myself along it into the bathroom. I then pull myself up with the sink. I grabbed the Scales haven't weighed myself in ages and I was getting quite fat. As my cold feet stand on to the scales I feel it push down into the floor it sounds like its cracking as it goes up the numbers. My mouths is gapping so much it has just landed on twenty. I faint to the floor and black out. Minutes later I wake with blood dripping from my head and dribble dripping from my mouth. I couldn't get back up I felt so ill. As I tried sit up it felt like my stomach was rolling. My feet bent forwards I nearly got up but just dropped to the floor I fell and smashed on to the scales they smashed to bits the glass from the scales stabbed into me.
I dragged myself across the floor again I had to get to my mobile that was the closeist thing I could get to the phone was very far away as I dragged myself along the floor the glass scrapped across my stomach. The pain shot though my body. Blood ran down my body as I got to my mobile I picked it up and tryed to call my mum. But then that stupid message came on saying I didn't have any credit. I got so mad and threw my mobile at the wall I watched it smash in front of my eyes I was feeling so mad and ill now. Why couldn't I get up had I eaten something bad had some spiked my drink last night and made me fill really ill,did I have a disease. I picked a glass and threw it at the wall too I felt so crazy smashing glasses at the wall I grabbed my gun and held it at my head.
Was life worth living anymore I couldn't get up I had glass stabbed into my body,blood ran down my body,I felt so ill,my scales were broken,I felt so mad and I just wanted to die. A knock came at my door "Jake you in there you ok the neighbours told me they heard smashing" called Tim he was my friend. "Im sorry Tim but I feel so ill and I want to die so goodbye Tim your my best friend and must die now goodbye" I called. "No Jake don't do it please" screamed Tim. I pulled the trigger and blew my brains at the wall.
I had now broken the scales and these were the real scales the scales of life!
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Memorandum! wrote:
> Oh, I'm not good. I can write reasonably well, but my imagination is
> lacking, so I don't try to write serious stories.
Like most critics you're infact crap at what you criticise others for doing.
Crossbob you see that little 'ignore user' thing on Memo's posts? Click it and you'll be much happier
> Oh, I'm not good. I can write reasonably well, but my imagination is
> lacking, so I don't try to write serious stories.
Like most critics you're infact crap at what you criticise others for doing.
Crossbob you see that little 'ignore user' thing on Memo's posts? Click it and you'll be much happier
C®ø§$ Bób wrote:
> Shut up I am about to read your stories now then I will find how good
> you are!
Here's one.
[URL]http://www.livejournal.com/users/mermoid/2008.html[/URL]
> Shut up I am about to read your stories now then I will find how good
> you are!
Here's one.
[URL]http://www.livejournal.com/users/mermoid/2008.html[/URL]
'practically'
Indeed.
Please, crossbob, go and read some proper books and compare it to this story.
If you can't see any difference, then I just feel very sorry for you.
All your stories are practically identical now, with no improvemet from one to the next, and all the advice people give you seems totally wasted.
And I'm painfully bitter about all the attention your stories get - especially as it is seemingly wasted.
Please, crossbob, go and read some proper books and compare it to this story.
If you can't see any difference, then I just feel very sorry for you.
All your stories are practically identical now, with no improvemet from one to the next, and all the advice people give you seems totally wasted.
And I'm painfully bitter about all the attention your stories get - especially as it is seemingly wasted.
I don't like to be harsh - you used to be amusing, but don't defend your work - Winston Churchill would have difficulty defending it, and you're clearly not him. Just go away, be quiet, and keep writing those stories that keep us amused.
C®ø§$ Bób wrote:
> Alright then but im better!
No, really no. As Memo says, go read some books and compare them with your own writing. If you see no difference, then take off your blindfold. If you weren't wearing a blindfold, I pity you as you were just exposed to some of the worst writing I've ever read.
> Alright then but im better!
No, really no. As Memo says, go read some books and compare them with your own writing. If you see no difference, then take off your blindfold. If you weren't wearing a blindfold, I pity you as you were just exposed to some of the worst writing I've ever read.
[URL]http://ukchatforums.reserve.co.uk/display_messages.php?threadid=112480&forumid=4011[/URL]
Alright then but im better!
Oh, I'm not good. I can write reasonably well, but my imagination is lacking, so I don't try to write serious stories.
Shut up I am about to read your stories now then I will find how good you are!
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