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Woops sorry forgot to do a title this is a entry for SSC 20 its called Scales of Life!
Waking up,walking to the bathroom,my back hurts,i've been laying wrong in bed. I drop to the floor and drag myself along it into the bathroom. I then pull myself up with the sink. I grabbed the Scales haven't weighed myself in ages and I was getting quite fat. As my cold feet stand on to the scales I feel it push down into the floor it sounds like its cracking as it goes up the numbers. My mouths is gapping so much it has just landed on twenty. I faint to the floor and black out. Minutes later I wake with blood dripping from my head and dribble dripping from my mouth. I couldn't get back up I felt so ill. As I tried sit up it felt like my stomach was rolling. My feet bent forwards I nearly got up but just dropped to the floor I fell and smashed on to the scales they smashed to bits the glass from the scales stabbed into me.
I dragged myself across the floor again I had to get to my mobile that was the closeist thing I could get to the phone was very far away as I dragged myself along the floor the glass scrapped across my stomach. The pain shot though my body. Blood ran down my body as I got to my mobile I picked it up and tryed to call my mum. But then that stupid message came on saying I didn't have any credit. I got so mad and threw my mobile at the wall I watched it smash in front of my eyes I was feeling so mad and ill now. Why couldn't I get up had I eaten something bad had some spiked my drink last night and made me fill really ill,did I have a disease. I picked a glass and threw it at the wall too I felt so crazy smashing glasses at the wall I grabbed my gun and held it at my head.
Was life worth living anymore I couldn't get up I had glass stabbed into my body,blood ran down my body,I felt so ill,my scales were broken,I felt so mad and I just wanted to die. A knock came at my door "Jake you in there you ok the neighbours told me they heard smashing" called Tim he was my friend. "Im sorry Tim but I feel so ill and I want to die so goodbye Tim your my best friend and must die now goodbye" I called. "No Jake don't do it please" screamed Tim. I pulled the trigger and blew my brains at the wall.
I had now broken the scales and these were the real scales the scales of life!
Waking up,walking to the bathroom,my back hurts,i've been laying wrong in bed. I drop to the floor and drag myself along it into the bathroom. I then pull myself up with the sink. I grabbed the Scales haven't weighed myself in ages and I was getting quite fat. As my cold feet stand on to the scales I feel it push down into the floor it sounds like its cracking as it goes up the numbers. My mouths is gapping so much it has just landed on twenty. I faint to the floor and black out. Minutes later I wake with blood dripping from my head and dribble dripping from my mouth. I couldn't get back up I felt so ill. As I tried sit up it felt like my stomach was rolling. My feet bent forwards I nearly got up but just dropped to the floor I fell and smashed on to the scales they smashed to bits the glass from the scales stabbed into me.
I dragged myself across the floor again I had to get to my mobile that was the closeist thing I could get to the phone was very far away as I dragged myself along the floor the glass scrapped across my stomach. The pain shot though my body. Blood ran down my body as I got to my mobile I picked it up and tryed to call my mum. But then that stupid message came on saying I didn't have any credit. I got so mad and threw my mobile at the wall I watched it smash in front of my eyes I was feeling so mad and ill now. Why couldn't I get up had I eaten something bad had some spiked my drink last night and made me fill really ill,did I have a disease. I picked a glass and threw it at the wall too I felt so crazy smashing glasses at the wall I grabbed my gun and held it at my head.
Was life worth living anymore I couldn't get up I had glass stabbed into my body,blood ran down my body,I felt so ill,my scales were broken,I felt so mad and I just wanted to die. A knock came at my door "Jake you in there you ok the neighbours told me they heard smashing" called Tim he was my friend. "Im sorry Tim but I feel so ill and I want to die so goodbye Tim your my best friend and must die now goodbye" I called. "No Jake don't do it please" screamed Tim. I pulled the trigger and blew my brains at the wall.
I had now broken the scales and these were the real scales the scales of life!
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Woops sorry forgot to do a title this is a entry for SSC 20 its called Scales of Life!
Waking up,walking to the bathroom,my back hurts,i've been laying wrong in bed. I drop to the floor and drag myself along it into the bathroom. I then pull myself up with the sink. I grabbed the Scales haven't weighed myself in ages and I was getting quite fat. As my cold feet stand on to the scales I feel it push down into the floor it sounds like its cracking as it goes up the numbers. My mouths is gapping so much it has just landed on twenty. I faint to the floor and black out. Minutes later I wake with blood dripping from my head and dribble dripping from my mouth. I couldn't get back up I felt so ill. As I tried sit up it felt like my stomach was rolling. My feet bent forwards I nearly got up but just dropped to the floor I fell and smashed on to the scales they smashed to bits the glass from the scales stabbed into me.
I dragged myself across the floor again I had to get to my mobile that was the closeist thing I could get to the phone was very far away as I dragged myself along the floor the glass scrapped across my stomach. The pain shot though my body. Blood ran down my body as I got to my mobile I picked it up and tryed to call my mum. But then that stupid message came on saying I didn't have any credit. I got so mad and threw my mobile at the wall I watched it smash in front of my eyes I was feeling so mad and ill now. Why couldn't I get up had I eaten something bad had some spiked my drink last night and made me fill really ill,did I have a disease. I picked a glass and threw it at the wall too I felt so crazy smashing glasses at the wall I grabbed my gun and held it at my head.
Was life worth living anymore I couldn't get up I had glass stabbed into my body,blood ran down my body,I felt so ill,my scales were broken,I felt so mad and I just wanted to die. A knock came at my door "Jake you in there you ok the neighbours told me they heard smashing" called Tim he was my friend. "Im sorry Tim but I feel so ill and I want to die so goodbye Tim your my best friend and must die now goodbye" I called. "No Jake don't do it please" screamed Tim. I pulled the trigger and blew my brains at the wall.
I had now broken the scales and these were the real scales the scales of life!
Waking up,walking to the bathroom,my back hurts,i've been laying wrong in bed. I drop to the floor and drag myself along it into the bathroom. I then pull myself up with the sink. I grabbed the Scales haven't weighed myself in ages and I was getting quite fat. As my cold feet stand on to the scales I feel it push down into the floor it sounds like its cracking as it goes up the numbers. My mouths is gapping so much it has just landed on twenty. I faint to the floor and black out. Minutes later I wake with blood dripping from my head and dribble dripping from my mouth. I couldn't get back up I felt so ill. As I tried sit up it felt like my stomach was rolling. My feet bent forwards I nearly got up but just dropped to the floor I fell and smashed on to the scales they smashed to bits the glass from the scales stabbed into me.
I dragged myself across the floor again I had to get to my mobile that was the closeist thing I could get to the phone was very far away as I dragged myself along the floor the glass scrapped across my stomach. The pain shot though my body. Blood ran down my body as I got to my mobile I picked it up and tryed to call my mum. But then that stupid message came on saying I didn't have any credit. I got so mad and threw my mobile at the wall I watched it smash in front of my eyes I was feeling so mad and ill now. Why couldn't I get up had I eaten something bad had some spiked my drink last night and made me fill really ill,did I have a disease. I picked a glass and threw it at the wall too I felt so crazy smashing glasses at the wall I grabbed my gun and held it at my head.
Was life worth living anymore I couldn't get up I had glass stabbed into my body,blood ran down my body,I felt so ill,my scales were broken,I felt so mad and I just wanted to die. A knock came at my door "Jake you in there you ok the neighbours told me they heard smashing" called Tim he was my friend. "Im sorry Tim but I feel so ill and I want to die so goodbye Tim your my best friend and must die now goodbye" I called. "No Jake don't do it please" screamed Tim. I pulled the trigger and blew my brains at the wall.
I had now broken the scales and these were the real scales the scales of life!
See this -> ?
It's a question mark. Stick them at the end of questions please.
This story made me laugh, especially when he grabbed his gun. Because everyone just has a gun on the floor. Seemed awfully drastic to kill himself, especially when someone had heard him who could call an ambulance.
Another bit I liked was the importance tha he attached to the scales when considering suicide. It was like, hmmm I've got glass sticking in me and my body is covered in blood! Not a great situation, but I'll live. You know what else, I feel like crap! Really ill. I'll pull through though, no worries I'll be okay. Ohmygod! I've broken my scales. MY SCALES!!! That's it, I'm topping myself!
It's a question mark. Stick them at the end of questions please.
This story made me laugh, especially when he grabbed his gun. Because everyone just has a gun on the floor. Seemed awfully drastic to kill himself, especially when someone had heard him who could call an ambulance.
Another bit I liked was the importance tha he attached to the scales when considering suicide. It was like, hmmm I've got glass sticking in me and my body is covered in blood! Not a great situation, but I'll live. You know what else, I feel like crap! Really ill. I'll pull through though, no worries I'll be okay. Ohmygod! I've broken my scales. MY SCALES!!! That's it, I'm topping myself!
Having had a few hours to reflect upon this, and upon the realisation that this is, in fact, a crossbob offering, can I just express my absolute disappointment at finding that the knock on the door did not come from a character called Mike.
I suggest this be rectified immediately.
I suggest this be rectified immediately.
I was going to do that but then I thought you would say oh look another guy called Mike!
So ... you felt ill and you fell over?
I'm just wondering how this leads to shooting yourself in the head.
I'm just wondering how this leads to shooting yourself in the head.
Yeah really and his life was crap anyway!
I'm sure this kind of thing happens all the time in crossbob-land, and we're all totally wrong in saying he knows nothing about human psychology, because he's not trying to portray human psychology.
In fact, I have realised, that all his stories concern members of the species 'Drater', a sad and short lived group of organisms.
They place the utmost value in the most nonsensical things, have no sense of place, over-react, under-react, can't converse rationally and have teenagers who can take out hordes of policemen with a paintball gun from the back of a motorbike.
They also seem to come with guns attached, like humans and body odour. Anyway, that's my take on the situation, I await the masters judgement while eagerly scrivening an extensive biological fact-file one the 'Draterites'.
In fact, I have realised, that all his stories concern members of the species 'Drater', a sad and short lived group of organisms.
They place the utmost value in the most nonsensical things, have no sense of place, over-react, under-react, can't converse rationally and have teenagers who can take out hordes of policemen with a paintball gun from the back of a motorbike.
They also seem to come with guns attached, like humans and body odour. Anyway, that's my take on the situation, I await the masters judgement while eagerly scrivening an extensive biological fact-file one the 'Draterites'.
Ok then!
I do like the way crossbob actually attempts to bring psychology into this one instead of it just being another mindless kill-fest. Keep working on it.
Ok but do you think my stories are getting better?
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