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"DEATH THREAD 2005 #1"

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Wed 23/02/05 at 16:23
Regular
"8==="
Posts: 33,481
1 Hedfix - Each one of his posts is turned into a brick and dropped on his head.

2 Dringo - Gets a new pacemaker and explains to everyone it's the best one in the world and they should all get one until 3 days later the battery runs out and he implodes.

3 ßulle†† - Gets stabbed by Creepy in real life. Australian home-maker implicated too.

4 sweet Tooth - Is set-upon by rabid dentists with a mining drill.

5 Kawada - Keeps going into people's houses unannounced looking for ancient artifacts - finally some old farmer shoots him.

6 Lipe - Tries to recreate a mankind cage match on a greenhouse...

7 Vampyr - Follows a dummy girl over a cliff

8 lcarus - Buys a Sun PC which promptly explodes when he comes near it on drugs.

9 Cycloon - Is finally hunted down and shot by police. His goggles are kept in a museum.

10 Very_Metal - Dies of mercury poisoning. Gravestone "says here lies 'Metal Licker'".

11 gerrid - Explodes with pent-up sarcasm held back since 2003.

12 Wink - Dies in a collectables shop, is secretly buried in the comics zone.

13 FinalFantasyFanatic - Dies whilst m**********g, certainly was his 'final fantasy'.

14 Cong Man - Falls off a skyscraper

15 cookie monster - Is killed by many copies of 'St Elmo's Fire'. Big Bird said to be ecstatic.

16 rah - All that's found is a small pool of blood and the book 'Cat's Cradle'.

17 SHEEPY - Buggered to death by 'It's Not You It's Me' living up to his nation's stereotype.

18 Grix Thraves - Picks a fight with himself.

19 Pandaemonium - Is murdered by an overzealous policeman with a helmet superglued to his head.

20 Creepy - Is taken out by the bomb Bullet had just managed to plant.

21 mermoid - Is killed by the Hulk over 'spanish copyright issues'.

22 crossbob - Is arrested and executed for a murder he didn't commit, just before he dies everything goes 'slo-mo'.

23 Tiltawhirl - is torn apart by 'his dawgs'.

24 Clazon - Is arrested and sentenced to death under the new terrorist laws. Manages to escape and starts a commune in New York before becoming President of Cuba. Trips whilst leaving the stage and is impaled on a sickle.

25 monkey_man - Murdered by the BNP for stealing their women and taking their jobs.

26 Wardy_MoD - Turns into a mutant and sent on secret missions by the MoD - dies whilst making the secret MoD tea.

27 Blank - All record of his existence is erased and he dies, of lung cancer, a bankrupt communist dictator in the state of Texas.

28 phi11ip - Is forced to repeat the same five seconds of his life over and over until he dies. He was posting at the time.

29 gamesfreak - Is hunted down by Tilt's Dawg's.

30 Revo - Is killed the chinese monarch 'Wang'.

31 Tphi - Is consumed by mini inbred Hedfix's from another dimension.

32 Emitime - Is killed by a dyslexic Emu.

33 Surrealguy - Pick up the phone to find the receiver is a lobster which kills him.

34 mattributé - Is killed by a gothic version of himself who is sponsored by Memo's tarquil knife emporium.

35 Rickoss - Killed by pedantic soccer fans who like reading backwards.

36 English_Bloke - Crushed by a keystone.

37 munn - Killed by a bearded pair of runners. Onlookers are baffled.

38 Puddin' - Dies from bloodpoisoning after having 'keystone' tattooed on her back.

39 Chr1s - Becomes addicted to Elite and withers away.

40 fire-starter - Is runover by Keith Flint.

41 Kilgore Trout - Goes to Titan and never returns.

42 Coin - Shot after beating Eminem to death with LP's.

43 Niddle - Finally gets some money off his parents and dies of shock.

44 JFH - Comes to harm after Osama takes his name to mean 'Jihad for Hire'.

45 Ineedsleep - Dies of insomnia and sex.

46 cweek2000 - Doesn't vote for me, 'nuff said. :D

47 Bob_The_Moose - Is eaten by people with poor dictionary skills.

48 Goatboy - Buried in soggy letters by the WI.

49 It Is Not You Its Me - Catches something from Sheepy's bins after blowing his load.

50 Timmargh - Starts his own 'Lap travel' wheelchair service for women, all goes well til puddin' gets one of his vouchers.

51 Flock - Becomes the new Dali Lama and wages war on Scottish counter-strike players.

52 Nashbrains - Killed by one of his self-made bridges.

53 Paradox: - Drinks himself.

54 Chad Niga - Invaded by Nigeria.

55 Notorious Biggles - Gunned down by Two-pack Shaker.

56 The Hibernator - Gets cancer from too much sunbed use.

57 Strafio - Realises his name backwards is 'oifarts'. Dies of shame.

58 sPiKeCaSt - Casts a spike into a strong wind, is impaled.

59 satans little helper - Asks for a raise.

60 Whitestripes DX - Runover by a roadmarking vehicle.

61 Mav - Shredded by an aluminuim sabre-toothed tiger.

62 Reefer - Murdered by jim-hat's alter-ego.

63 or†ega - eaten by a gateor [sic]

64 RoJ - Eaten by an imaginary dragon

65 Silent Thunder - Electricuted by invisible lightning

66 Light - Get's killed by the bigbang as god gets confused.

67 Nimco - Garotted by Namco executives in a misunderstanding

68 MR.COATES - Murdered by a man in a Mac over a difference of opinion.

69 Lucy Jane - Carried up a skyscraper and dropped by an odd simian.

70 The Winster - Loses at russian roulette.

71 N64 Fan - Plays with C64 minus the '6'

72 SpongeBobSpermPants - Drowns in self.

73 Damarus - Is declared insane by backwards reading scientists. Sectioned for life.

74 Green Ferocity - Meets a rabid smurf and doesn't live to tell the tale.

75 Forza - User Banned! - Runover by Biggles.

76 AfroJoe - Poiusoned by excessive use of hairspray.

77 Lil Bro - Runover by lil ginge for breach of copyright

78 Mode - bumped of by the german owner of mo.de
Tue 19/04/05 at 14:04
Regular
"Previously Vampyr"
Posts: 4,618
Hedfix wrote:

>
> 7 Vampyr - Follows a dummy girl over a cliff

dummy LL surely
Tue 19/04/05 at 14:03
Regular
"long time"
Posts: 3,121
All woman honey :)
Tue 19/04/05 at 14:03
Regular
"8==="
Posts: 33,481
She-male then.
Tue 19/04/05 at 14:00
Regular
"long time"
Posts: 3,121
Hedfix wrote:
> Sweet Tooth wrote:
> Why is it always the dentist with me ?
>
> I have good teeth see * shows teeth *
>
> Because you're a man. :P


Good job some people on here know i`m not :)
Tue 19/04/05 at 13:57
Regular
"8==="
Posts: 33,481
phi11ip wrote:
> Hedfix wrote:
> 28 phi11ip - Is forced to repeat the same five seconds of his life
> over and over until he dies. He was posting at the time.
>
> Just sounds like Hedfix's life at the moment...

Gaming and sex take longer than 5 seconds. Well for me anyway. Poor ol' Premature Phil.
Tue 19/04/05 at 13:56
Regular
"8==="
Posts: 33,481
Sweet Tooth wrote:
> Why is it always the dentist with me ?
>
> I have good teeth see * shows teeth *

Because you're a man. :P
Tue 19/04/05 at 13:38
Regular
"Redness Returneth"
Posts: 8,310
Copy Kat
Tue 19/04/05 at 13:38
Regular
"Excellent"
Posts: 207
THE BEST POST EVER FULL STOP AS YOU CAN SEE HERE>.
Tue 19/04/05 at 13:37
Regular
"Redness Returneth"
Posts: 8,310
This is the best post evar!1
Tue 19/04/05 at 13:37
Regular
"long time"
Posts: 3,121
Why is it always the dentist with me ?

I have good teeth see * shows teeth *

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