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"Movies, Movies, Movies! Movies."

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Mon 21/02/05 at 23:52
Regular
"TheShiznit.co.uk"
Posts: 6,592
My fellow friends! How are you? Did that scab clear up? Was it a scab? Excellent. I just wanted to let you know that my filmy review website, conveniently located at the natty address of http://www.theshiznit.co.uk/home.php (proles can [URL]http://www.theshiznit.co.uk/home.php[/URL]) is nearing the final straight, is shaping up to hit a home run, and is struggling to come up with more metaphors which mean that it's nearly finished. Ignore the crap on the front page at the moment, and there's still more changes to be made, but it's just about done. Read the articles if you like. Or not, whatever.

How does this concern you and your scab? Well, even though my mad writing skillz are enough to maker David Gibbon's eyes explode and his head implode, I need your help. See, I like going to the cinema, and I like buying DVDs, but even so, I never watch all the films I really wanna see. And if I want this site to a be genuine hub (God, I can't believe I just honestly used the word 'hub' in a sentence) then I want it to be a pretty complete affair. So this means I want you to write reviews for me, and if they're good enough, I'll stick em up and literally 9 people might read them. 14 people, if the site gets popular (by then I'll have got bored and will have probably started to skateboard again).

Think you've got what it takes to survive in the choppy waters of pretend movie journalism? Can you spell 'cinematography'? Do you know what it means? Really? Could you tell me? Drop me an email and do so, and hey, maybe attach one of your amazing movie reviews so I can have a goosey and laugh at your fat-handed word guzzle.

E-mail address is reviews at theshiznit dot co dot uk

In all seriousness boys, girls and the scab-infested, I want this site to be a nice little success, even if I'm not pinning my entire life's hopes and dreams on it (well, maybe a little bit) so if anyone's up for a little bit of writing on the side with the tiniest possibility of having other people read it, then go for your guns and send me an email. I can't guarantee I'll use it, but I will read it and reply. Judging from the writing capabilities of most of the people on these forums, I'll be using a fair few. And you don't have to have Stephen Fry levels of wit (or even have to be gay), just able to know what you like and have the ability to not sound like a snivelling little Paul Ross, writing what the other mags told you to say. Paul Ross can eat his whole head.

Hope to hear from you soon, don't hesitate to get in touch, muchachos.
Mon 21/02/05 at 23:52
Regular
"TheShiznit.co.uk"
Posts: 6,592
My fellow friends! How are you? Did that scab clear up? Was it a scab? Excellent. I just wanted to let you know that my filmy review website, conveniently located at the natty address of http://www.theshiznit.co.uk/home.php (proles can [URL]http://www.theshiznit.co.uk/home.php[/URL]) is nearing the final straight, is shaping up to hit a home run, and is struggling to come up with more metaphors which mean that it's nearly finished. Ignore the crap on the front page at the moment, and there's still more changes to be made, but it's just about done. Read the articles if you like. Or not, whatever.

How does this concern you and your scab? Well, even though my mad writing skillz are enough to maker David Gibbon's eyes explode and his head implode, I need your help. See, I like going to the cinema, and I like buying DVDs, but even so, I never watch all the films I really wanna see. And if I want this site to a be genuine hub (God, I can't believe I just honestly used the word 'hub' in a sentence) then I want it to be a pretty complete affair. So this means I want you to write reviews for me, and if they're good enough, I'll stick em up and literally 9 people might read them. 14 people, if the site gets popular (by then I'll have got bored and will have probably started to skateboard again).

Think you've got what it takes to survive in the choppy waters of pretend movie journalism? Can you spell 'cinematography'? Do you know what it means? Really? Could you tell me? Drop me an email and do so, and hey, maybe attach one of your amazing movie reviews so I can have a goosey and laugh at your fat-handed word guzzle.

E-mail address is reviews at theshiznit dot co dot uk

In all seriousness boys, girls and the scab-infested, I want this site to be a nice little success, even if I'm not pinning my entire life's hopes and dreams on it (well, maybe a little bit) so if anyone's up for a little bit of writing on the side with the tiniest possibility of having other people read it, then go for your guns and send me an email. I can't guarantee I'll use it, but I will read it and reply. Judging from the writing capabilities of most of the people on these forums, I'll be using a fair few. And you don't have to have Stephen Fry levels of wit (or even have to be gay), just able to know what you like and have the ability to not sound like a snivelling little Paul Ross, writing what the other mags told you to say. Paul Ross can eat his whole head.

Hope to hear from you soon, don't hesitate to get in touch, muchachos.
Mon 21/02/05 at 23:56
Regular
"Puerile Shagging"
Posts: 15,009
Ok, because it's you I will give my genius for free!

Give me a chance to review some stuff, but to start you off, let me say....Spice Girls The Movie: Bad acting and not enough baps...at one point I swear you can see Posh' nips through her top, but it's not worth the other hour and a bit of pish.
Mon 21/02/05 at 23:58
"period drama"
Posts: 19,792
I love it when a film is advertised with only one quote to its name ... coming, of course, from Paul Ross. It makes me laugh, and weep, and scream, and slit my wrists, all at the same time.

Anywho ... er .... well ...
Sorry.
*leaves*
Tue 22/02/05 at 00:05
Regular
"Puerile Shagging"
Posts: 15,009
When he says it's poor, you know you have a classic.
Tue 22/02/05 at 11:59
Regular
"BOSE"
Posts: 1,302
Has anyone seen Hero? (Jet Li) i'm curious, why does it say released 2002, and it's just been released?
Tue 22/02/05 at 12:05
Regular
"Infantalised Forums"
Posts: 23,089
Christ, now every hack and 13yr old is going to be convinced this'll be their ticket into journalism.
You'll be bombarded Snuggly, with inane crayon-written reviews of mangaporn, Mel Gibson movies and several reviews using the word "hot"
Tue 22/02/05 at 12:19
Regular
"you've got a beard"
Posts: 7,442
Daveus wrote:
> Has anyone seen Hero? (Jet Li) i'm curious, why does it say released
> 2002, and it's just been released?

it's been out for ages mate, it just only got a mainstream release recently.
Tue 22/02/05 at 13:02
Regular
"Pouch Ape"
Posts: 14,499
Because the chinny-tosspot that is Quentin Tarantino only said we could watch it recently, and all the seals 'arped'.
Tue 22/02/05 at 13:05
"period drama"
Posts: 19,792
What does he actually have to do with the film?
Nothing, from what I can see.
Tue 22/02/05 at 13:13
Regular
"Pouch Ape"
Posts: 14,499
Nope, not one single solitary thing. Except his endorsement is enough to make it sell $$$millions! in countries where they think their opinions matter, apparently.

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