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"SSC19-Crazed"

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Thu 10/02/05 at 21:04
Regular
"Catch it!"
Posts: 6,840
If you thought everything would be ok tomorrow then your wrong you could wake up dead,zombies could be roaming the streets,your eyeballs could have fallen out,you could have someone elses arm,anything could happen.

As I woke It was still dark outside but nearly dusk. I walked downstairs and opened the fridge a smell of rotting came out it smelt like there was bodies in the fridge. Rotten,green,moldy milk was lying down in the fridge dripping out the bottle. I pulled it out and went and threw it in the bin outside. There was a hole in my fence. I saw someone run past they looked scared. I walked back inside someone ran into my garden and tried to get in my house. I grabbed my bat and opened the door. "What do you want" I thundered. "Please just let me in theres mad people out here chasing everyones gone crazy please let me" I asked. I let him in and locked the back door loads of people came running into my garden. They all stared banging at the windows they were at the front too they were so crazed. I ran up stairs and got dress no time for anything. I grabbed my gun,my metal any weapon I could find I handed a gun to the man and a wooden bat. We ran out the front door people filled the road. It was almost Dusk the sun was rising bit by bit but very slowy. I smashed a person round the head me and the man ran to my car and drove off smashing into people as we left the splated to the ground. I put my foot on it and smashed into another person a old lady she flew though the air and landed on the ground. We skided round corners seeing crazed people fly past the window

One jumped at my door he was pulling the handle a women jumped at the back. I started reversing the car and smashed it into a wall then the women fell off. I drove the side along a wall I saw the mans be scarped off he dropped to the floor and blood poured from him. I stopped the car time to kill I jumped out the car the man jumped out to. "What your name then" I asked him. "Oh my names Micheal Nixon" he answered."Nice to meet you Mike is it ok if I call you Mike" I asked. "Yeah course" he answered. As we walked futher I heard someone running behind me I span round. It was a crazed person I shot him in the head brains splated to the floor. It was almost Dusk the street lights still shone down on us I looked up a street light flicked above us. I ran for it down the road Mike followed we turned a corner the crazed stood there. I flipped over and flew though the air me and Mike stared shooting bullets went though heads,crazed dropped to the floor I stood in the middle of it as bullets flew past me Mike had nearly killed all of them I shot my final bullet and now all the crazed were dead. The Police ran past us and killed crazed behind us I ran up a wall on the top of a building Mike followed. Crazed were even on the top of the building. But then I saw Mike get ripped off the top of the building I tried to grab hold of him. But they ripped out his stomach I saw my life flash past in a pour of blood and guts. I ran it was almost Dusk I wanted to get home by Dusk maybe this was a dream I pinched myself no not a dream.

I jumped off the roof I was ten minutes away from my house I ran so fast. I jumped roofs and saw crazed below being smashed in by Police heads crushing brains brusting. I jumped again but slipped a crazed was standing behind me I tryed to get up but my legs wouldn't move for some reason. I was so scared I shot back but only hit him in the leg. I shot again and hit him in the chest. I went to shoot again but my gun just clicked I was out of bullets. The crazed grabbed hold of me my eyeballs were ripped out he ripped my arm off. It was Dusk the time I wanted to be home I was having my eyeballs ripped out and my arm ripped off. No my crying for me and No more shooting my gun to I was dead and It was Dusk!
Fri 11/02/05 at 09:14
Regular
Posts: 14,437
Kinda reminds me a little of I Am Legend, although, action x 1000.

Well done. Although as FFF pointed out, Dusk is the wrong word to use. It should have been Dawn :D
Fri 11/02/05 at 09:05
Regular
"Always the winner?"
Posts: 650
Reading that 100-replies thread awaiting your next story, I feel that this story of yours is not the least creative. I mean, it could have been something better, not something so much meaningless. And yeah, you seem to have added the only conversation between the narrator and Mike just for the sake of introducing a "Mike" in the story, isn't it?

Is it because of this story that you were warned?

EDIT

I could not understand why you kept reffering to Dusk in your story so often & so recklessly. I mean, you kill a bunch of "crazed" at dusk, you say it is almost dusk,you see "Mike" being ripped, it is almost dusk, you run for your life, you want to get home before dusk, and you are tored off before it is dusk...

It seems you were trying to be descriptive, eh?
Fri 11/02/05 at 08:41
Regular
"Always the winner?"
Posts: 650
Er, Crossbob, why did you get banned?

Its good to see everyone waiting for your shortstories. Maybe you should print a personal compilation and bin it or something...
Thu 10/02/05 at 22:16
Regular
"Catch it!"
Posts: 6,840
Shaun of the dead is a wicked movie do you like it?
Thu 10/02/05 at 22:13
"period drama"
Posts: 19,792
I liked how it was Dusk and the sun was rising at the same time.
Please, look up the word in the dictionary.

Two films crossbob has seen recently:
The Matrix
Shaun of the Dead.

I also liked how everyone always thunders in your stories.
Very atmospheric.
Thu 10/02/05 at 22:11
Regular
"Catch it!"
Posts: 6,840
Just like the name and my girlfriend likes it!
Thu 10/02/05 at 22:06
Regular
"0228"
Posts: 5,953
The first paragraph and the last paragraph are both genius. And this could just be me but a lot of your stories seem to have a character called Mike in them. Any particular reason?
Thu 10/02/05 at 21:04
Regular
"Catch it!"
Posts: 6,840
If you thought everything would be ok tomorrow then your wrong you could wake up dead,zombies could be roaming the streets,your eyeballs could have fallen out,you could have someone elses arm,anything could happen.

As I woke It was still dark outside but nearly dusk. I walked downstairs and opened the fridge a smell of rotting came out it smelt like there was bodies in the fridge. Rotten,green,moldy milk was lying down in the fridge dripping out the bottle. I pulled it out and went and threw it in the bin outside. There was a hole in my fence. I saw someone run past they looked scared. I walked back inside someone ran into my garden and tried to get in my house. I grabbed my bat and opened the door. "What do you want" I thundered. "Please just let me in theres mad people out here chasing everyones gone crazy please let me" I asked. I let him in and locked the back door loads of people came running into my garden. They all stared banging at the windows they were at the front too they were so crazed. I ran up stairs and got dress no time for anything. I grabbed my gun,my metal any weapon I could find I handed a gun to the man and a wooden bat. We ran out the front door people filled the road. It was almost Dusk the sun was rising bit by bit but very slowy. I smashed a person round the head me and the man ran to my car and drove off smashing into people as we left the splated to the ground. I put my foot on it and smashed into another person a old lady she flew though the air and landed on the ground. We skided round corners seeing crazed people fly past the window

One jumped at my door he was pulling the handle a women jumped at the back. I started reversing the car and smashed it into a wall then the women fell off. I drove the side along a wall I saw the mans be scarped off he dropped to the floor and blood poured from him. I stopped the car time to kill I jumped out the car the man jumped out to. "What your name then" I asked him. "Oh my names Micheal Nixon" he answered."Nice to meet you Mike is it ok if I call you Mike" I asked. "Yeah course" he answered. As we walked futher I heard someone running behind me I span round. It was a crazed person I shot him in the head brains splated to the floor. It was almost Dusk the street lights still shone down on us I looked up a street light flicked above us. I ran for it down the road Mike followed we turned a corner the crazed stood there. I flipped over and flew though the air me and Mike stared shooting bullets went though heads,crazed dropped to the floor I stood in the middle of it as bullets flew past me Mike had nearly killed all of them I shot my final bullet and now all the crazed were dead. The Police ran past us and killed crazed behind us I ran up a wall on the top of a building Mike followed. Crazed were even on the top of the building. But then I saw Mike get ripped off the top of the building I tried to grab hold of him. But they ripped out his stomach I saw my life flash past in a pour of blood and guts. I ran it was almost Dusk I wanted to get home by Dusk maybe this was a dream I pinched myself no not a dream.

I jumped off the roof I was ten minutes away from my house I ran so fast. I jumped roofs and saw crazed below being smashed in by Police heads crushing brains brusting. I jumped again but slipped a crazed was standing behind me I tryed to get up but my legs wouldn't move for some reason. I was so scared I shot back but only hit him in the leg. I shot again and hit him in the chest. I went to shoot again but my gun just clicked I was out of bullets. The crazed grabbed hold of me my eyeballs were ripped out he ripped my arm off. It was Dusk the time I wanted to be home I was having my eyeballs ripped out and my arm ripped off. No my crying for me and No more shooting my gun to I was dead and It was Dusk!

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