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Actual Student bloopers collected by teachers from 8th grade through college:
Ancient Egypt was inhabited by mummies and they all wrote in hydraulics. They lived in the Sarah Dessert and traveled by Camelot. The climate of the Sarah is such that the inhabitants have to live elsewhere.
The Bible is full of interesting caricatures. In the first book of the Bible, Guinessis, Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree. One of their children, Cain, asked, "Am I my brother's son?" Moses led the Hebrew slaves to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened bread which is bread made without any ingredients. Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten commandments. He died before he ever reached Canada.
Solomom had three hundred wives and seven hundred porcupines. The Greeks were a highly sculptured people, and without them we wouldn't have history. The Greeks also had myths. A myth is a female moth. Actually, Homer was not written by Homer but by another man of that name. Socrates was a famous Greek teacher who went around giving people advice. They killed him. Socrates died from an overdose of wedlock. After his death, his career suffered a dramatic decline. In the Olympic games, Greeks ran races, jumped, hurled the biscuits, and threw the java. Eventually, the Romans conquered the Greeks. History calls people Romans because they never stayed in one place for very long.
Julius Caesar extinguished himself on the battlefields of Gaul. The Ides of March murdered him because they thought he was going to be made king. Dying, he gasped out: "Tee hee, Brutus." Nero was a cruel tyranny who would torture his subjects by playing the fiddle to them. Joan of Arc was burnt to a steak and was canonized by Bernard Shaw. Finally Magna Carta provided that no man should be hanged twice for the same offense.
In midevil times most people were alliterate. The greatest writer of the futile ages was Chaucer, who wrote many poems and verses and also wrote literature. Another story was William Tell, who shot an arrow through an apple while standing on his son's head. Queen Elizabeth was the "Virgin Queen." As a queen she was a success. When she exposed herself before her troops they all shouted "hurrah."
It was an age of great inventions and discoveries. Gutenberg invented removable type and the Bible. Another important invention was the circulation of blood. Sir Walter Raleigh is a historical figure because he invented cigarettes and started smoking. And Sir Francis Drake circumcised the world with a 100 foot clipper.
The greatest writer of the Renaissance was William Shakespeare. He was born in the year 1564, supposedly on his birthday. He never made much money and is famous only because of his plays. He wrote tragedies, comedies, and hysterectomies, all in Islamic pentameter. Romeo and Juliet are an example of a heroic couplet. Romeo's last wish was to be laid by Juliet. Writing at the same time as Shakespeare was Miguel Cervantes. He wrote Donkey Hote. The next great author was John Milton. Milton wrote Paradise Lost. Then his wife died and he wrote Paradise Regained.
During the Renaissance America began. Christopher Columbus was a great navigator who discovered America while cursing about the Atlantic. His ships were called the Nina, the Pinta, and the Santa Fe. Later, the Pilgrims crossed the ocean, and this was called Pilgrim's Progress. The winter of 1620 was a hard one for the settlers. Many people died and many babies were born. Captain John Smith was responsible for all this. One of the causes of the Revolutionary War was the English put tacks in their tea. Also, the colonists would send their parcels through the post without stamps. Finally the colonists won the War and no longer had to pay for taxis. Delegates from the original 13 states formed the Contented Congress. Thomas Jefferson, a Virgin, and Benjamin Franklin were two singers of the Declaration of Independence. Franklin discovered electricity by rubbing two cats backwards and declared, "A horse divided against itself cannot stand." Franklin died in 1790 and is still dead.
Soon the Constitution of the United States was adopted to secure domestic hostility. Under the constitution the people enjoyed the right to keep bare arms. Abraham Lincoln became America's greatest Precedent. Lincoln's mother died in infancy, and he was born in a log cabin which he built with his own hands. Abraham Lincoln freed the slaves by signing the Emasculation Proclamation. On the night of April 14, 1865, Lincoln went to the theater and got shot in his seat by one of the actors in a moving picture show. The believed assinator was John Wilkes Booth, a supposingly insane actor. This ruined Booth's career. Meanwhile in Europe, the enlightenment was a reasonable time. Voltaire invented electricity and also wrote a book called Candy. Gravity was invented by Issac Walton. It is chiefly noticeable in the autumn when the apples are falling off the trees. Johann Bach wrote a great many musical compositions and had a large number of children. In between he practiced on an old spinster which he kept up in his attic. Bach died from 1750 to the present. Bach was the most famous composer in the world and so was Handel. Handel was half German half Italian and half English. He was very large. Beethoven wrote music even though he was deaf. He was so deaf he wrote loud music. He took long walks in the forest even when everyone was calling for him. Beethoven expired in 1827 and later died for this.
The French Revolution was accomplished before it happened and catapulted into Napoleon. Napoleon wanted an heir to inherit his power, but since Josephine was a baroness, she couldn't have any children. The sun never set on the British Empire because the British Empire is in the East and the sun sets in the West. Queen Victoria was the longest queen. She sat on a thorn for 63 years. She was a moral woman who practiced virtue. Her death was the final event which ended her reign. The nineteenth century was a time of a great many thoughts and inventions. People stopped reproducing by hand and started reproducing by machine. The invention of the steamboat caused a network of rivers to spring up. Cyrus McCormick invented the McCormick raper, which did the work of a hundred men. Louis Pasteur discovered a cure for rabbis. Charles Darwin was a naturalist who wrote the Organ of the Species. Madman Curie discovered radio. And Karl Marx became one of the Marx brothers. The First World War, caused by the assignation of the Arch-Duck by an anahist, ushered in a new error in the anals of human history.
------------------ ------------------------ ----------------------------
With hopes of being back to normal!
Ancient Egypt was inhabited by mummies and they all wrote in hydraulics. They lived in the Sarah Dessert and traveled by Camelot. The climate of the Sarah is such that the inhabitants have to live elsewhere.
The Bible is full of interesting caricatures. In the first book of the Bible, Guinessis, Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree. One of their children, Cain, asked, "Am I my brother's son?" Moses led the Hebrew slaves to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened bread which is bread made without any ingredients. Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten commandments. He died before he ever reached Canada.
Solomom had three hundred wives and seven hundred porcupines. The Greeks were a highly sculptured people, and without them we wouldn't have history. The Greeks also had myths. A myth is a female moth. Actually, Homer was not written by Homer but by another man of that name. Socrates was a famous Greek teacher who went around giving people advice. They killed him. Socrates died from an overdose of wedlock. After his death, his career suffered a dramatic decline. In the Olympic games, Greeks ran races, jumped, hurled the biscuits, and threw the java. Eventually, the Romans conquered the Greeks. History calls people Romans because they never stayed in one place for very long.
Julius Caesar extinguished himself on the battlefields of Gaul. The Ides of March murdered him because they thought he was going to be made king. Dying, he gasped out: "Tee hee, Brutus." Nero was a cruel tyranny who would torture his subjects by playing the fiddle to them. Joan of Arc was burnt to a steak and was canonized by Bernard Shaw. Finally Magna Carta provided that no man should be hanged twice for the same offense.
In midevil times most people were alliterate. The greatest writer of the futile ages was Chaucer, who wrote many poems and verses and also wrote literature. Another story was William Tell, who shot an arrow through an apple while standing on his son's head. Queen Elizabeth was the "Virgin Queen." As a queen she was a success. When she exposed herself before her troops they all shouted "hurrah."
It was an age of great inventions and discoveries. Gutenberg invented removable type and the Bible. Another important invention was the circulation of blood. Sir Walter Raleigh is a historical figure because he invented cigarettes and started smoking. And Sir Francis Drake circumcised the world with a 100 foot clipper.
The greatest writer of the Renaissance was William Shakespeare. He was born in the year 1564, supposedly on his birthday. He never made much money and is famous only because of his plays. He wrote tragedies, comedies, and hysterectomies, all in Islamic pentameter. Romeo and Juliet are an example of a heroic couplet. Romeo's last wish was to be laid by Juliet. Writing at the same time as Shakespeare was Miguel Cervantes. He wrote Donkey Hote. The next great author was John Milton. Milton wrote Paradise Lost. Then his wife died and he wrote Paradise Regained.
During the Renaissance America began. Christopher Columbus was a great navigator who discovered America while cursing about the Atlantic. His ships were called the Nina, the Pinta, and the Santa Fe. Later, the Pilgrims crossed the ocean, and this was called Pilgrim's Progress. The winter of 1620 was a hard one for the settlers. Many people died and many babies were born. Captain John Smith was responsible for all this. One of the causes of the Revolutionary War was the English put tacks in their tea. Also, the colonists would send their parcels through the post without stamps. Finally the colonists won the War and no longer had to pay for taxis. Delegates from the original 13 states formed the Contented Congress. Thomas Jefferson, a Virgin, and Benjamin Franklin were two singers of the Declaration of Independence. Franklin discovered electricity by rubbing two cats backwards and declared, "A horse divided against itself cannot stand." Franklin died in 1790 and is still dead.
Soon the Constitution of the United States was adopted to secure domestic hostility. Under the constitution the people enjoyed the right to keep bare arms. Abraham Lincoln became America's greatest Precedent. Lincoln's mother died in infancy, and he was born in a log cabin which he built with his own hands. Abraham Lincoln freed the slaves by signing the Emasculation Proclamation. On the night of April 14, 1865, Lincoln went to the theater and got shot in his seat by one of the actors in a moving picture show. The believed assinator was John Wilkes Booth, a supposingly insane actor. This ruined Booth's career. Meanwhile in Europe, the enlightenment was a reasonable time. Voltaire invented electricity and also wrote a book called Candy. Gravity was invented by Issac Walton. It is chiefly noticeable in the autumn when the apples are falling off the trees. Johann Bach wrote a great many musical compositions and had a large number of children. In between he practiced on an old spinster which he kept up in his attic. Bach died from 1750 to the present. Bach was the most famous composer in the world and so was Handel. Handel was half German half Italian and half English. He was very large. Beethoven wrote music even though he was deaf. He was so deaf he wrote loud music. He took long walks in the forest even when everyone was calling for him. Beethoven expired in 1827 and later died for this.
The French Revolution was accomplished before it happened and catapulted into Napoleon. Napoleon wanted an heir to inherit his power, but since Josephine was a baroness, she couldn't have any children. The sun never set on the British Empire because the British Empire is in the East and the sun sets in the West. Queen Victoria was the longest queen. She sat on a thorn for 63 years. She was a moral woman who practiced virtue. Her death was the final event which ended her reign. The nineteenth century was a time of a great many thoughts and inventions. People stopped reproducing by hand and started reproducing by machine. The invention of the steamboat caused a network of rivers to spring up. Cyrus McCormick invented the McCormick raper, which did the work of a hundred men. Louis Pasteur discovered a cure for rabbis. Charles Darwin was a naturalist who wrote the Organ of the Species. Madman Curie discovered radio. And Karl Marx became one of the Marx brothers. The First World War, caused by the assignation of the Arch-Duck by an anahist, ushered in a new error in the anals of human history.
------------------ ------------------------ ----------------------------
With hopes of being back to normal!
Page:
Donkey Hote
Ha
Ha
Mav wrote:
> Thanks for copying that out randolph.
Blatant word count boost
> Thanks for copying that out randolph.
Blatant word count boost
The Winster wrote:
> In midevil times most people were alliterate.
And apparently, so are you.
"alliterate"
aha
> In midevil times most people were alliterate.
And apparently, so are you.
"alliterate"
aha
Thanks for copying that out randolph.
Now people have three versions of the text on the page, and as such, won't have to use the scroll wheel on their mice so much - saving them both time and from an ever-real fate of RSI. It's a crying shame not all users are as considerate.
Now people have three versions of the text on the page, and as such, won't have to use the scroll wheel on their mice so much - saving them both time and from an ever-real fate of RSI. It's a crying shame not all users are as considerate.
lol those are gr8!! i gess sum ppl r jst realy stupid!!
The Winster wrote:
> Actual Student bloopers collected by teachers from 8th grade through
> college:
> Ancient Egypt was inhabited by mummies and they all wrote in
> hydraulics. They lived in the Sarah Dessert and traveled by Camelot.
> The climate of the Sarah is such that the inhabitants have to live
> elsewhere.
>
> The Bible is full of interesting caricatures. In the first book of
> the Bible, Guinessis, Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree.
> One of their children, Cain, asked, "Am I my brother's
> son?" Moses led the Hebrew slaves to the Red Sea, where they
> made unleavened bread which is bread made without any ingredients.
> Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten commandments. He died
> before he ever reached Canada.
>
> Solomom had three hundred wives and seven hundred porcupines. The
> Greeks were a highly sculptured people, and without them we wouldn't
> have history. The Greeks also had myths. A myth is a female moth.
> Actually, Homer was not written by Homer but by another man of that
> name. Socrates was a famous Greek teacher who went around giving
> people advice. They killed him. Socrates died from an overdose of
> wedlock. After his death, his career suffered a dramatic decline. In
> the Olympic games, Greeks ran races, jumped, hurled the biscuits, and
> threw the java. Eventually, the Romans conquered the Greeks. History
> calls people Romans because they never stayed in one place for very
> long.
>
> Julius Caesar extinguished himself on the battlefields of Gaul. The
> Ides of March murdered him because they thought he was going to be
> made king. Dying, he gasped out: "Tee hee, Brutus." Nero
> was a cruel tyranny who would torture his subjects by playing the
> fiddle to them. Joan of Arc was burnt to a steak and was canonized by
> Bernard Shaw. Finally Magna Carta provided that no man should be
> hanged twice for the same offense.
>
> In midevil times most people were alliterate. The greatest writer of
> the futile ages was Chaucer, who wrote many poems and verses and also
> wrote literature. Another story was William Tell, who shot an arrow
> through an apple while standing on his son's head. Queen Elizabeth
> was the "Virgin Queen." As a queen she was a success.
> When she exposed herself before her troops they all shouted
> "hurrah."
>
> It was an age of great inventions and discoveries. Gutenberg invented
> removable type and the Bible. Another important invention was the
> circulation of blood. Sir Walter Raleigh is a historical figure
> because he invented cigarettes and started smoking. And Sir Francis
> Drake circumcised the world with a 100 foot clipper.
>
> The greatest writer of the Renaissance was William Shakespeare. He
> was born in the year 1564, supposedly on his birthday. He never made
> much money and is famous only because of his plays. He wrote
> tragedies, comedies, and hysterectomies, all in Islamic pentameter.
> Romeo and Juliet are an example of a heroic couplet. Romeo's last
> wish was to be laid by Juliet. Writing at the same time as
> Shakespeare was Miguel Cervantes. He wrote Donkey Hote. The
> next great author was John Milton. Milton wrote Paradise Lost. Then
> his wife died and he wrote Paradise Regained.
>
> During the Renaissance America began. Christopher Columbus was a
> great navigator who discovered America while cursing about the
> Atlantic. His ships were called the Nina, the Pinta, and the Santa
> Fe. Later, the Pilgrims crossed the ocean, and this was called
> Pilgrim's Progress. The winter of 1620 was a hard one for the
> settlers. Many people died and many babies were born.
> Captain John Smith was responsible for all this. One of the
> causes of the Revolutionary War was the English put tacks in their
> tea. Also, the colonists would send their parcels through the post
> without stamps. Finally the colonists won the War and no longer had
> to pay for taxis. Delegates from the original 13 states formed the
> Contented Congress. Thomas Jefferson, a Virgin, and Benjamin Franklin
> were two singers of the Declaration of Independence. Franklin
> discovered electricity by rubbing two cats backwards and declared,
> "A horse divided against itself cannot stand." Franklin
> died in 1790 and is still dead.
>
> Soon the Constitution of the United States was adopted to secure
> domestic hostility. Under the constitution the people enjoyed the
> right to keep bare arms. Abraham Lincoln became America's greatest
> Precedent. Lincoln's mother died in infancy, and he was born in a log
> cabin which he built with his own hands. Abraham Lincoln freed the
> slaves by signing the Emasculation Proclamation. On the night of
> April 14, 1865, Lincoln went to the theater and got shot in his seat
> by one of the actors in a moving picture show. The believed assinator
> was John Wilkes Booth, a supposingly insane actor. This ruined
> Booth's career. Meanwhile in Europe, the enlightenment was a
> reasonable time. Voltaire invented electricity and also wrote a book
> called Candy. Gravity was invented by Issac Walton. It is chiefly
> noticeable in the autumn when the apples are falling off the trees.
> Johann Bach wrote a great many musical compositions and had a large
> number of children. In between he practiced on an old spinster
> which he kept up in his attic. Bach died from 1750 to the
> present. Bach was the most famous composer in the world and so was
> Handel. Handel was half German half Italian and half English. He was
> very large. Beethoven wrote music even though he was deaf. He was so
> deaf he wrote loud music. He took long walks in the forest even when
> everyone was calling for him. Beethoven expired in 1827 and later
> died for this.
>
> The French Revolution was accomplished before it happened and
> catapulted into Napoleon. Napoleon wanted an heir to inherit his
> power, but since Josephine was a baroness, she couldn't have any
> children. The sun never set on the British Empire because the British
> Empire is in the East and the sun sets in the West. Queen Victoria
> was the longest queen. She sat on a thorn for 63 years. She was a
> moral woman who practiced virtue. Her death was the final event which
> ended her reign. The nineteenth century was a time of a great many
> thoughts and inventions. People stopped reproducing by hand and
> started reproducing by machine. The invention of the steamboat caused
> a network of rivers to spring up. Cyrus McCormick invented the
> McCormick raper, which did the work of a hundred men. Louis Pasteur
> discovered a cure for rabbis. Charles Darwin was a naturalist who
> wrote the Organ of the Species. Madman Curie discovered radio. And
> Karl Marx became one of the Marx brothers. The First World War,
> caused by the assignation of the Arch-Duck by an anahist, ushered in
> a new error in the anals of human history.
>
> ------------------ ------------------------
> ----------------------------
>
> With hopes of being back to normal!
The Winster wrote:
> Actual Student bloopers collected by teachers from 8th grade through
> college:
> Ancient Egypt was inhabited by mummies and they all wrote in
> hydraulics. They lived in the Sarah Dessert and traveled by Camelot.
> The climate of the Sarah is such that the inhabitants have to live
> elsewhere.
>
> The Bible is full of interesting caricatures. In the first book of
> the Bible, Guinessis, Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree.
> One of their children, Cain, asked, "Am I my brother's
> son?" Moses led the Hebrew slaves to the Red Sea, where they
> made unleavened bread which is bread made without any ingredients.
> Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten commandments. He died
> before he ever reached Canada.
>
> Solomom had three hundred wives and seven hundred porcupines. The
> Greeks were a highly sculptured people, and without them we wouldn't
> have history. The Greeks also had myths. A myth is a female moth.
> Actually, Homer was not written by Homer but by another man of that
> name. Socrates was a famous Greek teacher who went around giving
> people advice. They killed him. Socrates died from an overdose of
> wedlock. After his death, his career suffered a dramatic decline. In
> the Olympic games, Greeks ran races, jumped, hurled the biscuits, and
> threw the java. Eventually, the Romans conquered the Greeks. History
> calls people Romans because they never stayed in one place for very
> long.
>
> Julius Caesar extinguished himself on the battlefields of Gaul. The
> Ides of March murdered him because they thought he was going to be
> made king. Dying, he gasped out: "Tee hee, Brutus." Nero
> was a cruel tyranny who would torture his subjects by playing the
> fiddle to them. Joan of Arc was burnt to a steak and was canonized by
> Bernard Shaw. Finally Magna Carta provided that no man should be
> hanged twice for the same offense.
>
> In midevil times most people were alliterate. The greatest writer of
> the futile ages was Chaucer, who wrote many poems and verses and also
> wrote literature. Another story was William Tell, who shot an arrow
> through an apple while standing on his son's head. Queen Elizabeth
> was the "Virgin Queen." As a queen she was a success.
> When she exposed herself before her troops they all shouted
> "hurrah."
>
> It was an age of great inventions and discoveries. Gutenberg invented
> removable type and the Bible. Another important invention was the
> circulation of blood. Sir Walter Raleigh is a historical figure
> because he invented cigarettes and started smoking. And Sir Francis
> Drake circumcised the world with a 100 foot clipper.
>
> The greatest writer of the Renaissance was William Shakespeare. He
> was born in the year 1564, supposedly on his birthday. He never made
> much money and is famous only because of his plays. He wrote
> tragedies, comedies, and hysterectomies, all in Islamic pentameter.
> Romeo and Juliet are an example of a heroic couplet. Romeo's last
> wish was to be laid by Juliet. Writing at the same time as
> Shakespeare was Miguel Cervantes. He wrote Donkey Hote. The
> next great author was John Milton. Milton wrote Paradise Lost. Then
> his wife died and he wrote Paradise Regained.
>
> During the Renaissance America began. Christopher Columbus was a
> great navigator who discovered America while cursing about the
> Atlantic. His ships were called the Nina, the Pinta, and the Santa
> Fe. Later, the Pilgrims crossed the ocean, and this was called
> Pilgrim's Progress. The winter of 1620 was a hard one for the
> settlers. Many people died and many babies were born.
> Captain John Smith was responsible for all this. One of the
> causes of the Revolutionary War was the English put tacks in their
> tea. Also, the colonists would send their parcels through the post
> without stamps. Finally the colonists won the War and no longer had
> to pay for taxis. Delegates from the original 13 states formed the
> Contented Congress. Thomas Jefferson, a Virgin, and Benjamin Franklin
> were two singers of the Declaration of Independence. Franklin
> discovered electricity by rubbing two cats backwards and declared,
> "A horse divided against itself cannot stand." Franklin
> died in 1790 and is still dead.
>
> Soon the Constitution of the United States was adopted to secure
> domestic hostility. Under the constitution the people enjoyed the
> right to keep bare arms. Abraham Lincoln became America's greatest
> Precedent. Lincoln's mother died in infancy, and he was born in a log
> cabin which he built with his own hands. Abraham Lincoln freed the
> slaves by signing the Emasculation Proclamation. On the night of
> April 14, 1865, Lincoln went to the theater and got shot in his seat
> by one of the actors in a moving picture show. The believed assinator
> was John Wilkes Booth, a supposingly insane actor. This ruined
> Booth's career. Meanwhile in Europe, the enlightenment was a
> reasonable time. Voltaire invented electricity and also wrote a book
> called Candy. Gravity was invented by Issac Walton. It is chiefly
> noticeable in the autumn when the apples are falling off the trees.
> Johann Bach wrote a great many musical compositions and had a large
> number of children. In between he practiced on an old spinster
> which he kept up in his attic. Bach died from 1750 to the
> present. Bach was the most famous composer in the world and so was
> Handel. Handel was half German half Italian and half English. He was
> very large. Beethoven wrote music even though he was deaf. He was so
> deaf he wrote loud music. He took long walks in the forest even when
> everyone was calling for him. Beethoven expired in 1827 and later
> died for this.
>
> The French Revolution was accomplished before it happened and
> catapulted into Napoleon. Napoleon wanted an heir to inherit his
> power, but since Josephine was a baroness, she couldn't have any
> children. The sun never set on the British Empire because the British
> Empire is in the East and the sun sets in the West. Queen Victoria
> was the longest queen. She sat on a thorn for 63 years. She was a
> moral woman who practiced virtue. Her death was the final event which
> ended her reign. The nineteenth century was a time of a great many
> thoughts and inventions. People stopped reproducing by hand and
> started reproducing by machine. The invention of the steamboat caused
> a network of rivers to spring up. Cyrus McCormick invented the
> McCormick raper, which did the work of a hundred men. Louis Pasteur
> discovered a cure for rabbis. Charles Darwin was a naturalist who
> wrote the Organ of the Species. Madman Curie discovered radio. And
> Karl Marx became one of the Marx brothers. The First World War,
> caused by the assignation of the Arch-Duck by an anahist, ushered in
> a new error in the anals of human history.
>
> ------------------ ------------------------
> ----------------------------
>
> With hopes of being back to normal!
phi11ip wrote:
> You honestly think that someone would have written the first one?
I expect so, seeing as I've just read it.
Besides, those ones you just listed were dire. They sounded like they came out of a Christmas cracker.
> You honestly think that someone would have written the first one?
I expect so, seeing as I've just read it.
Besides, those ones you just listed were dire. They sounded like they came out of a Christmas cracker.
no those were rubbish.
"Christians go on pilgrimage to Lord's."
come on that's just crap.
"Christians go on pilgrimage to Lord's."
come on that's just crap.
gerbil man wrote:
> It's probably not fake, just not genuine "blunders". I
> remember I did something similar in my General Studies exams to keep
> me entertained.
You honestly think that someone would have written the first one?
Some quotes in there are genuine. Such as the hydraulics one, but apart from that 99% of it has been added to try and make it funnier but it has only made it worse!
These ones, although still mostly fake are better due to them being much shorter and far ore believable.
"Monotony means being married to the same person for all your life."
Use the word "judicious" in a sentence to show you understand its meaning - Hands that judicious can be as soft as your face...
How important are elections to a democratic society? - Sex can only happen when a male gets an election
What is Britain's highest award for valour in war?
Nelson's Column
What's a Hindu?
It lays eggs
Name the four seasons
Salt, mustard, pepper, vinegar
What changes happen to your body as you age?
When you get old, so do your bowels and you get inter-continental
What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on? They'll insist you're well endowed if you're buying a house
What is a co-operative? It's a kind of shop that is not as dear as places like Marks and Spencer
What is artificial respiration commonly known as?
The Kiss of Death
What are steroids?
Things for keeping the carpet on the stairs
What is a common treatment for a badly bleeding nose? Circumcision
"I've said goodbye to my boyhood, now I'm looking forward to my adultery."
"I always know when its time to get up when I hear my mother sharpening the toast."
"Christians go on pilgrimage to Lord's."
"A major disease associated with smoking is premature death."
"The equator is a menagerie lion running around the earth through Africa."
"Artificial insemination is when the farmer does it to the cow instead of the bull."
"Cows produce large amounts of methane, so the problem could be solved by fitting them with catalytic converters."
"The process of flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists."
"The moon is a planet just like the earth, only it is even deader"
"Dew is formed on leaves when the sun shines down on them and makes them perspire."
"A super-saturated solution is one that holds more than it can hold."
"Mushrooms always grow in damp places and so they look like umbrellas."
"The body consists of three parts - the brainium, the borax and the abominable cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains
the heart and lungs, and the abominable cavity contains the bowels, of which there are five - a, e, i, o and u."
"Momentum: What you give a person when they are going away."
"Planet: A body of earth surrounded by sky."
"Rhubarb: A kind of celery gone bloodshot."
"Before giving a blood transfusion find out if the blood is affirmative or negative."
"To remove dust from the eye, pull the eye down over the nose."
"For a nosebleed: put the nose much lower than the body until the heart stops."
"For drowning: climb on top of the person and move up and down to make Artificial Perspiration."
"For Fainting: Rub the person's chest or, if a lady, rub her arm above the hand instead. Or put the head between the knees of the nearest
medical doctor."
"To prevent contraception: wear a condominium."
"For head cold: use an agonizer to spray the nose until it drops in your throat."
"To keep milk from turning sour: keep it in the cow."
"The pistol of a flower is its only protection against insects."
"The alimentary canal is located in the northern part of Indiana."
"The skeleton is what is left after the insides have been taken out and the outsides have been taken off. The purpose of the skeleton is
something to hitch meat to."
"A permanent set of teeth consists of eight canines, eight cuspids, two molars, and eight cuspidors."
"The tides are a fight between the Earth and Moon. All water tends towards the moon, because there is no water in the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight."
"A fossil is an extinct animal. The older it is, the more extinct it is."
Exam answers from actual nursing examination papers.
The lady was incontinent and the nurse was told to watch her passing urine.
The patient was put under the physiotherapist who came often.
I informed the patient she could get up when her legs go down.
The patient had a large bowl movement (instead of Bowel).
The student nurse was sent for a long stand. She did not return for two hours.
> It's probably not fake, just not genuine "blunders". I
> remember I did something similar in my General Studies exams to keep
> me entertained.
You honestly think that someone would have written the first one?
Some quotes in there are genuine. Such as the hydraulics one, but apart from that 99% of it has been added to try and make it funnier but it has only made it worse!
These ones, although still mostly fake are better due to them being much shorter and far ore believable.
"Monotony means being married to the same person for all your life."
Use the word "judicious" in a sentence to show you understand its meaning - Hands that judicious can be as soft as your face...
How important are elections to a democratic society? - Sex can only happen when a male gets an election
What is Britain's highest award for valour in war?
Nelson's Column
What's a Hindu?
It lays eggs
Name the four seasons
Salt, mustard, pepper, vinegar
What changes happen to your body as you age?
When you get old, so do your bowels and you get inter-continental
What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on? They'll insist you're well endowed if you're buying a house
What is a co-operative? It's a kind of shop that is not as dear as places like Marks and Spencer
What is artificial respiration commonly known as?
The Kiss of Death
What are steroids?
Things for keeping the carpet on the stairs
What is a common treatment for a badly bleeding nose? Circumcision
"I've said goodbye to my boyhood, now I'm looking forward to my adultery."
"I always know when its time to get up when I hear my mother sharpening the toast."
"Christians go on pilgrimage to Lord's."
"A major disease associated with smoking is premature death."
"The equator is a menagerie lion running around the earth through Africa."
"Artificial insemination is when the farmer does it to the cow instead of the bull."
"Cows produce large amounts of methane, so the problem could be solved by fitting them with catalytic converters."
"The process of flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists."
"The moon is a planet just like the earth, only it is even deader"
"Dew is formed on leaves when the sun shines down on them and makes them perspire."
"A super-saturated solution is one that holds more than it can hold."
"Mushrooms always grow in damp places and so they look like umbrellas."
"The body consists of three parts - the brainium, the borax and the abominable cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains
the heart and lungs, and the abominable cavity contains the bowels, of which there are five - a, e, i, o and u."
"Momentum: What you give a person when they are going away."
"Planet: A body of earth surrounded by sky."
"Rhubarb: A kind of celery gone bloodshot."
"Before giving a blood transfusion find out if the blood is affirmative or negative."
"To remove dust from the eye, pull the eye down over the nose."
"For a nosebleed: put the nose much lower than the body until the heart stops."
"For drowning: climb on top of the person and move up and down to make Artificial Perspiration."
"For Fainting: Rub the person's chest or, if a lady, rub her arm above the hand instead. Or put the head between the knees of the nearest
medical doctor."
"To prevent contraception: wear a condominium."
"For head cold: use an agonizer to spray the nose until it drops in your throat."
"To keep milk from turning sour: keep it in the cow."
"The pistol of a flower is its only protection against insects."
"The alimentary canal is located in the northern part of Indiana."
"The skeleton is what is left after the insides have been taken out and the outsides have been taken off. The purpose of the skeleton is
something to hitch meat to."
"A permanent set of teeth consists of eight canines, eight cuspids, two molars, and eight cuspidors."
"The tides are a fight between the Earth and Moon. All water tends towards the moon, because there is no water in the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight."
"A fossil is an extinct animal. The older it is, the more extinct it is."
Exam answers from actual nursing examination papers.
The lady was incontinent and the nurse was told to watch her passing urine.
The patient was put under the physiotherapist who came often.
I informed the patient she could get up when her legs go down.
The patient had a large bowl movement (instead of Bowel).
The student nurse was sent for a long stand. She did not return for two hours.
ahahhah "Lincoln's mother died in infancy, and he was born in a log cabin which he built with his own hands"
You are all cold hearted idiots. He was killed by an overdose of wedlock. Ahahaha
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