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""I, Robot" - I still can't get over how bad it was *spoilers, as if you care*"

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Sat 15/01/05 at 11:13
Regular
"Pouch Ape"
Posts: 14,499
I know, I know, it's just a film. But it still haunts me eyes and ears. It was such a bad film that the advert for the DVD had to sell it on "Jaw-dropping special effe...atures", or something like that. Terrible, terrible, terrible, die, die, die.

Here are a few choice moments:

After the robot first attacks the Fresh Prince, it says to him "what am I?", which could have lead to the interesting conclusion that the robots don't know that they are robots, and can get round the three laws that way. But nope, that would be ripping off Bladerunner too much. Instead they can simply ignore the laws, which means the film-makers can avoid any discussion of what makes a person a person, conscience, y'know, important issues like that for sci-fi...in return for more "mind-blowing" special-effe...atures, including...

...the Fresh Prince riding a motorbike up the back of a car, it flies into the air (last time I saw a motorbike hit the back of a car we dialled 999), he jumps off it in mid-air, pulls out two guns, and nails 2 robots in the head, avoiding the person sandwiched between them. He lands on his feet on the bonnet, the motorbike takes out about two-hundred robots as it skids down the street. Big Willy saves the dayyyyyyyerrmuuuuuuuuhhhhhhh... *I begin to feel my brain trying to escape my body at this point* Oh, and it gets worse...

They try to pull off the "But Will Smith is actually a robot!!!! *Kaboom shiny things!!!*" trick, which would have been maybe another interesting twist ripped straight from Bladerunner...but no. A ro-gue-bot hits the Fresh Prince's arm, but he's fine - he has a robot arm, look everyone, HE HAS A ROBOT FRICKING ARM!!! DOES THAT MEANS HE'S A ROBOT!?!?!? No, he had it replaced, and they give it away after about...ooh...a minute?. Another half-decent twist ruined because idiot Americans have short attention spans. At least play it out for a bit!

And now for the finale, perhaps the most retarded part of the whole film, even more retarded than the Fresh Prince taking out loads of robots on his own (lucky he had that robot arm, eh? *winks at camera*). I'd compare this to a special needs kid beating Linford Christie at 100m hurdles, only to stop at the finishing line to try and eat his shoes. The worst line in any film, which Will Smith delivers before somehow "killing" the super-computery-AI type thing that was running the whole show, with an injection (don't ask how, it's nonsense)...

"Oh, you've soooo gotta die!"

I'll leave it at that, I can't go on typing any longer knowing that this film is in existance.
Sat 15/01/05 at 14:51
Regular
Posts: 2,774
The last American film I saw that wasn't retarded was 'The Butterfly Effect'.

Mum had trouble keeping up with that one. In the end dad simply exclaimed "Are you watchin' the same film as us or what?".

That was a good film, I'd say.
Sat 15/01/05 at 15:08
Regular
"the burning sky"
Posts: 4,984
UrkiE-UK wrote:
> The last American film I saw that wasn't retarded was 'The Butterfly
> Effect'.
>
> Mum had trouble keeping up with that one. In the end dad simply
> exclaimed "Are you watchin' the same film as us or what?".
>
> That was a good film, I'd say.

Yes, but you do realise we're talking about I, Robot here?
Sat 15/01/05 at 15:39
Regular
Posts: 9,848
What Tilt said...

I Keep saying that. One of these days I'm going to beat that mofo to draw, then we'll see what who said! :-P
Sun 16/01/05 at 00:26
Regular
"TheShiznit.co.uk"
Posts: 6,592
Just watched this tonight, not much to recommend. His name is Del Spooner and he sleeps with his hat on, so I didn't like him. That, and the robots were ponces. Oh yeah, and CONVERSE CONVERSE CONVERSE.
Sun 16/01/05 at 00:51
Regular
Posts: 2,781
UrkiE-UK wrote:
> The last American film I saw that wasn't retarded was 'The Butterfly
> Effect'.
>
> Mum had trouble keeping up with that one. In the end dad simply
> exclaimed "Are you watchin' the same film as us or what?".
>
> That was a good film, I'd say.

Aye, but the DVD was wholly disappointing in the fact that the theatrical ending isn't even included on the disc. Annoyed me inanely.
Sun 16/01/05 at 12:28
Regular
"formerly Eyesw/Feet"
Posts: 16
Monkey-man,

Your post is more entertaining than the film.
Sun 16/01/05 at 12:36
Regular
"Going nowhere fast"
Posts: 6,574
but.. but.. it had a naked Will Smith in it! After the opening shots I'm not sure I saw the rest of the film anyway. Must watch it again to see what I missed.
Sun 16/01/05 at 12:45
Regular
"That's right!"
Posts: 10,645
I was mildly entertained whilst watching it, but now that I think back I can't remember the plot at all. The big brain was making robots kill people to protect them? Something along those lines.
Sun 16/01/05 at 13:09
Regular
"the burning sky"
Posts: 4,984
MoJoJoJo wrote:
> I was mildly entertained whilst watching it, but now that I think back
> I can't remember the plot at all. The big brain was making robots
> kill people to protect them? Something along those lines.

Yeah, it was something like that.
Sun 16/01/05 at 14:08
Regular
"Chavez, just hush.."
Posts: 11,080
UrkiE-UK wrote:
> The last American film I saw that wasn't retarded was 'The Butterfly
> Effect'.
>
> Mum had trouble keeping up with that one. In the end dad simply
> exclaimed "Are you watchin' the same film as us or what?".
>
> That was a good film, I'd say.

OK, I came into this thread to say how crap it was!

It had potential but they just completely ballsed things up!

There's simple laws about time travel, the first one being that you are the only person who will know what's happened. Nobody else will know about it! Yet he still tries to convince everyone that he knows them.

Secondly, when he smashes his hands down on the two sticks, they were obviously having some 'stupid time' when they thought that one up! How the hell would that guy have just seen it change if he'd gone back in time to change history? Surely he would have had the scars when he joined the prison, they wouldn't just appear.

Thirdly, it was just so stupid the way that he always did the most stupid things. He never explained things properly and always chose the most stupid thing to do.

The film had great potential but it was a pile of shyte. I, Robot was a million times better.

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