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Tag Titles:
Eugene and William Regal (c) defeated Christian and Tyson Tomko (12:23)
Awful finish to a pretty sub-standard match. Highlight was Eugene's attire, which was a rip-off of Hulk Hogan's. Hmmmz, I wonder if I can buy it anywhere. Anyway, Eugene blew out his knee and pinned Tomko in a half-assed way that he could've clearly kicked out of.
Women's Title:
Trish Stratus defeated Lita (c) (3:48)
Again, nothing particularly special. Lita blew out her knee in a rather convincing way when watched in the slow mo replay. She was easy picking after this, so we're 2-for-2 in terms of how knee injuries go. Let's hope for a third, eh?
Intercontinental Title
Shelton Benjamin (c) defeated Maven (6:09)/(0:05)
Maven wasted a few minutes of time on the mic just dissing the crowd and Shelton, which was kinda irritating. Obviously done just to drag the event out further, as it's only a 6-match card, even with the sure-to-be-bloody-long Elimination Chamber match + build up + entrances. Anyway, why didn't Shelton wait longer to try and kick his ass? Hilariously short, even if you include Maven's lengthy commentary. Shelton pins him with ease. A laughably dire match. Or is it? Maven wants the match restarted, as the crowd rip him to pieces with the "Na na na na, hey hey hey, goodbye!" chant. Anyway, Maven taunts Shelton's ding-a-ling, and in order to defend it, Shelton runs back in, and pins Maven in 5 seconds. Hilariously awful match. Shame, as if the match had actually happened properly, it probably would've been pretty great. Ah well, the length of the match just brings us closer to seeing Christy Hemme being oiled topless, so it's not all bad.
Muhammad Hassan defeated Jerry Lawler (10:51)
Well, after a pretty awkward moment where JR has to watch himself get beaten up from RAW last week, we get underway. The match highlight was Daivari knocking JR's hat off, and then hiding behind Hassan. Marvellous, but not enough to save this seemingly dire PPV so far. Oh, and for people not wanting to be branded as terrorists etc, Daivari really shouldn't be shouting "rip his head off". Just a thought. So, after taking a massive beating, Lawler hulks up momentarily, making for a pretty funny moment. The hilarity continues, as JR throws down his hat, and wags a finger at Daivari, all whilst Hassan nails Lawler with a DDT for the win. Predictable, and overly long. Heh, I hope they've got some more matches up their sleeve, or this is gonna be a reaaaallly short event.
Oh, but wait, after thinking hearing JR say "Los Sangeles", I thought it couldn't get any worse, but here comes Coach and his uber-loud ringtone music.
Kane defeated Gene Snitzky (11:38)
So, they added the "It wasn't my fault" soundbyte onto Snitzky's theme, oh the cheesiness. But wow - Lillian Garcia is looking hawt in that Star Spangled Banner outfit - *fap*. So, after rearing heads like a pair of homosexual buffalos, we get underway. Kane pulled back the arena floor padding, and proceeded to throw Snickers onto it, which was good, as we haven't seen that in quite a while. So, I chuckled slightly as a horn went off, as it reminded me of the same noise which Jeff Daniels made whilst on the toilet in Dumb an Dumber, a film I watched just days ago. Anyway, Snickers goes all Mike Tyson on Kane, attempting to bite him. Regardless, he fails to bite through to Kane's brain, and soon enough, Kane's implanting his head into the mat with a sloppy Tombstone. Still, it looked devastating enough. Again, nothing special. But you have to laugh when JR says "Kane's settle the score". Sure, he's killed Snickers' baby, and busted his throat, sure.
Ah yes, that sodding marvellous Royal Rumble promo. Pure brilliance. So, Coach is actually civil to Lawler and Ross. We cut poolside, and see some repeated clips of the divas being oiled and getting jiggy, and some new stuff. Namely, Simon Dean pushing a so-blatantly-staged porker into the water. Val Venis then beats Stacy Keibler with his pole, heh. Some other random cack that involves Maria getting her top taken off, but not for the camera. Shame.
Elimination Chamber World Heavyweight Title (Guest Referee: Shawn Michaels):
Triple H defeated Edge, Chris Benoit, Chris Jericho, Batista, and Randy Orton (34:56)
Wow, this is gonna either be a really long match, or a pretty short event. Following a one-minute procrastination speech from Bitchoff (and I really thought he was gonna trip when he left the chamber), we actually start the sure-to-be-long entrances. So, Garcia tells us that it's 5 minutes between entrances, as it was in the first EC match, but not in the second. They clearly want to drag this match out. Some funny entrance moments are HBK almost nutting the camera, and Orton taunting HHH, who is already in his chamber. So, after seven entrances, we actually start. One pretty cool thing was the crowd chanting the countdown in Puerto Rican. So, Triple H gets catapulted into the cage, and I could smell the blading a mile away. He bladed his nose - great work again, Aitch. Oh, and Jericho got busted somehow, too. Orton lays out pretty much everyone in sight, and stupidly doesn't pin a wasted Jericho. So, a somehow busted Benoit attempts to make Orton tap, but Triple H stupidly breaks the hold. Edge goes to spear Orton, and misses, hitting Aitch. He nails Orton the next time, but no HBK, so naturally, feeling screwed, Edge attacks Aitch, only to get the best superkick in the world right in his face, followed by a Lionsault and pinfall by Jericho. Pretty sodding brilliant. Shame, though, as we almost had all six guys in the ring, as Batista comes in about a minute later. DIVING HEADBUTT FROM BENOIT FROM THE TOP OF THE CHAMBER ON TRIPS! Jericho puts Trips in the Walls, and Benoit locks his head in the Crossface, just as Batista comes in and breaks the holds, after the refs taking their time in opening the door for a clearly frustrated Batista. So, Batista cleans house and comes face to face with Triple H, but before he can do anything, gets way-layed by the faces. In a moment that made me spray my orange juice all over my monitor, Jericho gets dumped on a camera man, and lets out a hilarious scream in due course. Brilliant. Oh, and the chamber's opened, so that refs could get the "injured" cameraman out. Could that be a chance for them to escape and climb atop the chamber? Yes, but none of them took it, despite Triple H being within arms reach of lobbing Orton out of it. Silly. Triple H is once again a fountain of blood, and Batista hits Benoit with a brilliant Spinebuster. He hits Jericho with one, slamming him on Benoit, and then pinning Benoit for the fall. It's not long before Jericho gets a long-deserved beating from Batista, and eliminated. So, Batista and Trips beat the cack out of Orton for the next few minutes, before Orton gets a second wind, and manages to pin Batista, whilst Triple H makes no effort to save his "friend". So, we're down to the boredom of Trips vs Orton. Great...Anyway, Batista attempts to interfere, but HBK holds him back, until Flair runs in and gets floored by HBK, allowing Batista to nail Orton. It's not long before Triple H nails Orton with a Pedigree, and nonchalantly covers him for the win. Bloody pathetic ending to an otherwise pretty decent match. Not better than the Survivor Series 2002 chamber, but a damn sight more entertaining than the Summerslam 2003 counterpart. Then, Batista comes back in and hoists Trips above his shoulders. I was hoping so much that he'd throw him from his shoulders, take the belt, and beat the living cack out of him, but no. I just hope this isn't the end of it, and they actually develop something from this - e.g. Batista annoyed at Trips for not helping him, but I find it unlikely.
Eliminations:
Edge by Chris Jericho (19:21)
Chris Benoit by Batista (26:16)
Chris Jericho by Batista (27:38)
Batista by Randy Orton (32:33)
Randy Orton by Triple H (34:56)
Overall? A sodding dire event, with only one, ney, two redeeming features - the Divas, and the Elimination Chamber. And the latter had the most awful result in the history of wrestling.
Eugene and William Regal (c) defeated Christian and Tyson Tomko (12:23)
Awful finish to a pretty sub-standard match. Highlight was Eugene's attire, which was a rip-off of Hulk Hogan's. Hmmmz, I wonder if I can buy it anywhere. Anyway, Eugene blew out his knee and pinned Tomko in a half-assed way that he could've clearly kicked out of.
Women's Title:
Trish Stratus defeated Lita (c) (3:48)
Again, nothing particularly special. Lita blew out her knee in a rather convincing way when watched in the slow mo replay. She was easy picking after this, so we're 2-for-2 in terms of how knee injuries go. Let's hope for a third, eh?
Intercontinental Title
Shelton Benjamin (c) defeated Maven (6:09)/(0:05)
Maven wasted a few minutes of time on the mic just dissing the crowd and Shelton, which was kinda irritating. Obviously done just to drag the event out further, as it's only a 6-match card, even with the sure-to-be-bloody-long Elimination Chamber match + build up + entrances. Anyway, why didn't Shelton wait longer to try and kick his ass? Hilariously short, even if you include Maven's lengthy commentary. Shelton pins him with ease. A laughably dire match. Or is it? Maven wants the match restarted, as the crowd rip him to pieces with the "Na na na na, hey hey hey, goodbye!" chant. Anyway, Maven taunts Shelton's ding-a-ling, and in order to defend it, Shelton runs back in, and pins Maven in 5 seconds. Hilariously awful match. Shame, as if the match had actually happened properly, it probably would've been pretty great. Ah well, the length of the match just brings us closer to seeing Christy Hemme being oiled topless, so it's not all bad.
Muhammad Hassan defeated Jerry Lawler (10:51)
Well, after a pretty awkward moment where JR has to watch himself get beaten up from RAW last week, we get underway. The match highlight was Daivari knocking JR's hat off, and then hiding behind Hassan. Marvellous, but not enough to save this seemingly dire PPV so far. Oh, and for people not wanting to be branded as terrorists etc, Daivari really shouldn't be shouting "rip his head off". Just a thought. So, after taking a massive beating, Lawler hulks up momentarily, making for a pretty funny moment. The hilarity continues, as JR throws down his hat, and wags a finger at Daivari, all whilst Hassan nails Lawler with a DDT for the win. Predictable, and overly long. Heh, I hope they've got some more matches up their sleeve, or this is gonna be a reaaaallly short event.
Oh, but wait, after thinking hearing JR say "Los Sangeles", I thought it couldn't get any worse, but here comes Coach and his uber-loud ringtone music.
Kane defeated Gene Snitzky (11:38)
So, they added the "It wasn't my fault" soundbyte onto Snitzky's theme, oh the cheesiness. But wow - Lillian Garcia is looking hawt in that Star Spangled Banner outfit - *fap*. So, after rearing heads like a pair of homosexual buffalos, we get underway. Kane pulled back the arena floor padding, and proceeded to throw Snickers onto it, which was good, as we haven't seen that in quite a while. So, I chuckled slightly as a horn went off, as it reminded me of the same noise which Jeff Daniels made whilst on the toilet in Dumb an Dumber, a film I watched just days ago. Anyway, Snickers goes all Mike Tyson on Kane, attempting to bite him. Regardless, he fails to bite through to Kane's brain, and soon enough, Kane's implanting his head into the mat with a sloppy Tombstone. Still, it looked devastating enough. Again, nothing special. But you have to laugh when JR says "Kane's settle the score". Sure, he's killed Snickers' baby, and busted his throat, sure.
Ah yes, that sodding marvellous Royal Rumble promo. Pure brilliance. So, Coach is actually civil to Lawler and Ross. We cut poolside, and see some repeated clips of the divas being oiled and getting jiggy, and some new stuff. Namely, Simon Dean pushing a so-blatantly-staged porker into the water. Val Venis then beats Stacy Keibler with his pole, heh. Some other random cack that involves Maria getting her top taken off, but not for the camera. Shame.
Elimination Chamber World Heavyweight Title (Guest Referee: Shawn Michaels):
Triple H defeated Edge, Chris Benoit, Chris Jericho, Batista, and Randy Orton (34:56)
Wow, this is gonna either be a really long match, or a pretty short event. Following a one-minute procrastination speech from Bitchoff (and I really thought he was gonna trip when he left the chamber), we actually start the sure-to-be-long entrances. So, Garcia tells us that it's 5 minutes between entrances, as it was in the first EC match, but not in the second. They clearly want to drag this match out. Some funny entrance moments are HBK almost nutting the camera, and Orton taunting HHH, who is already in his chamber. So, after seven entrances, we actually start. One pretty cool thing was the crowd chanting the countdown in Puerto Rican. So, Triple H gets catapulted into the cage, and I could smell the blading a mile away. He bladed his nose - great work again, Aitch. Oh, and Jericho got busted somehow, too. Orton lays out pretty much everyone in sight, and stupidly doesn't pin a wasted Jericho. So, a somehow busted Benoit attempts to make Orton tap, but Triple H stupidly breaks the hold. Edge goes to spear Orton, and misses, hitting Aitch. He nails Orton the next time, but no HBK, so naturally, feeling screwed, Edge attacks Aitch, only to get the best superkick in the world right in his face, followed by a Lionsault and pinfall by Jericho. Pretty sodding brilliant. Shame, though, as we almost had all six guys in the ring, as Batista comes in about a minute later. DIVING HEADBUTT FROM BENOIT FROM THE TOP OF THE CHAMBER ON TRIPS! Jericho puts Trips in the Walls, and Benoit locks his head in the Crossface, just as Batista comes in and breaks the holds, after the refs taking their time in opening the door for a clearly frustrated Batista. So, Batista cleans house and comes face to face with Triple H, but before he can do anything, gets way-layed by the faces. In a moment that made me spray my orange juice all over my monitor, Jericho gets dumped on a camera man, and lets out a hilarious scream in due course. Brilliant. Oh, and the chamber's opened, so that refs could get the "injured" cameraman out. Could that be a chance for them to escape and climb atop the chamber? Yes, but none of them took it, despite Triple H being within arms reach of lobbing Orton out of it. Silly. Triple H is once again a fountain of blood, and Batista hits Benoit with a brilliant Spinebuster. He hits Jericho with one, slamming him on Benoit, and then pinning Benoit for the fall. It's not long before Jericho gets a long-deserved beating from Batista, and eliminated. So, Batista and Trips beat the cack out of Orton for the next few minutes, before Orton gets a second wind, and manages to pin Batista, whilst Triple H makes no effort to save his "friend". So, we're down to the boredom of Trips vs Orton. Great...Anyway, Batista attempts to interfere, but HBK holds him back, until Flair runs in and gets floored by HBK, allowing Batista to nail Orton. It's not long before Triple H nails Orton with a Pedigree, and nonchalantly covers him for the win. Bloody pathetic ending to an otherwise pretty decent match. Not better than the Survivor Series 2002 chamber, but a damn sight more entertaining than the Summerslam 2003 counterpart. Then, Batista comes back in and hoists Trips above his shoulders. I was hoping so much that he'd throw him from his shoulders, take the belt, and beat the living cack out of him, but no. I just hope this isn't the end of it, and they actually develop something from this - e.g. Batista annoyed at Trips for not helping him, but I find it unlikely.
Eliminations:
Edge by Chris Jericho (19:21)
Chris Benoit by Batista (26:16)
Chris Jericho by Batista (27:38)
Batista by Randy Orton (32:33)
Randy Orton by Triple H (34:56)
Overall? A sodding dire event, with only one, ney, two redeeming features - the Divas, and the Elimination Chamber. And the latter had the most awful result in the history of wrestling.
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I've just finished watching this. Really, really horrible PPV. Was it the most dragged out PPV ever? It sure felt like it.
Tag title match: Nothing special and the match was, I'm pretty certain, cut short because of Eugene. I'd say about 1 out of 5 if I'm generous.
Women's title: Lita's knee injury pretty much killed this match off, even though I doubt it was going to be that great anyway. I'll give it a half point just because it spared us a match.
Was the Intercontinental title actually on the line? The only move that was done in the first part was a tie up and then Maven spent the rest of the time talking. He gets pinned and then wants a rematch, which he gets and it's over before it's started. Either they aren't confident of Maven's ability or they just want to kill Maven off. DUD, DUD, DUD, DUD, DUD.
Hassan V Lawler felt like it was going in slow motion. Were they having a scoop slam competition at the start of the match? This match dragged on and on and on. I'll say a quarter of a point to a half point, just because it actually had a few moves in.
Kane V Snitsky was horrible too and Snitsky looked totally shattered about 3 minutes in. Really weak match and again, around the half point mark, just because I didn't have the heart to mark this worse than Lawler V Hassan.
The Elimination Chamber was okay. There were a few good moments but Edge's elimination felt like future feud building, Benoit's elimination felt cheap, Jericho's elimination was too close to Benoit's, meaning we were left with the wholly predictable 2 on 1. Considering the amount of punishment HHH took, he was walking about pretty well. At least Orton sold his beating. I'll give it about 2 - 2 and a half but it was average at best. Better than the one with Goldberg in though.
Largely forgettable and the Elimination Chamber didn't redeem a terrible show. Watch the Chamber if you must but avoid the rest, in my opinion.
Tag title match: Nothing special and the match was, I'm pretty certain, cut short because of Eugene. I'd say about 1 out of 5 if I'm generous.
Women's title: Lita's knee injury pretty much killed this match off, even though I doubt it was going to be that great anyway. I'll give it a half point just because it spared us a match.
Was the Intercontinental title actually on the line? The only move that was done in the first part was a tie up and then Maven spent the rest of the time talking. He gets pinned and then wants a rematch, which he gets and it's over before it's started. Either they aren't confident of Maven's ability or they just want to kill Maven off. DUD, DUD, DUD, DUD, DUD.
Hassan V Lawler felt like it was going in slow motion. Were they having a scoop slam competition at the start of the match? This match dragged on and on and on. I'll say a quarter of a point to a half point, just because it actually had a few moves in.
Kane V Snitsky was horrible too and Snitsky looked totally shattered about 3 minutes in. Really weak match and again, around the half point mark, just because I didn't have the heart to mark this worse than Lawler V Hassan.
The Elimination Chamber was okay. There were a few good moments but Edge's elimination felt like future feud building, Benoit's elimination felt cheap, Jericho's elimination was too close to Benoit's, meaning we were left with the wholly predictable 2 on 1. Considering the amount of punishment HHH took, he was walking about pretty well. At least Orton sold his beating. I'll give it about 2 - 2 and a half but it was average at best. Better than the one with Goldberg in though.
Largely forgettable and the Elimination Chamber didn't redeem a terrible show. Watch the Chamber if you must but avoid the rest, in my opinion.
To be honest. im glad i didnt stay up to witness Hunter get his title back *yawns*
Hmm, two knee injuries in the opening two matches? How unlucky is that?
i hope either batista or randy orton wins
Chamber time.
what the next match
ur lucky u don't have to buy these cheap A$$ cable companies get ur money to watch them, but i live close to the hometown of Kane and Randy Orton
It's on Sky Sports. You don't need to buy it. Or don't you live in the UK?
nope can't buy it that why im readin ur post
K, thanks. You watching NYR, then? What a bloody dire event.
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