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Mon 10/01/05 at 01:41
Regular
Posts: 2,781
Tag Titles:
Eugene and William Regal (c) defeated Christian and Tyson Tomko (12:23)
Awful finish to a pretty sub-standard match. Highlight was Eugene's attire, which was a rip-off of Hulk Hogan's. Hmmmz, I wonder if I can buy it anywhere. Anyway, Eugene blew out his knee and pinned Tomko in a half-assed way that he could've clearly kicked out of.

Women's Title:
Trish Stratus defeated Lita (c) (3:48)
Again, nothing particularly special. Lita blew out her knee in a rather convincing way when watched in the slow mo replay. She was easy picking after this, so we're 2-for-2 in terms of how knee injuries go. Let's hope for a third, eh?

Intercontinental Title
Shelton Benjamin (c) defeated Maven (6:09)/(0:05)
Maven wasted a few minutes of time on the mic just dissing the crowd and Shelton, which was kinda irritating. Obviously done just to drag the event out further, as it's only a 6-match card, even with the sure-to-be-bloody-long Elimination Chamber match + build up + entrances. Anyway, why didn't Shelton wait longer to try and kick his ass? Hilariously short, even if you include Maven's lengthy commentary. Shelton pins him with ease. A laughably dire match. Or is it? Maven wants the match restarted, as the crowd rip him to pieces with the "Na na na na, hey hey hey, goodbye!" chant. Anyway, Maven taunts Shelton's ding-a-ling, and in order to defend it, Shelton runs back in, and pins Maven in 5 seconds. Hilariously awful match. Shame, as if the match had actually happened properly, it probably would've been pretty great. Ah well, the length of the match just brings us closer to seeing Christy Hemme being oiled topless, so it's not all bad.

Muhammad Hassan defeated Jerry Lawler (10:51)
Well, after a pretty awkward moment where JR has to watch himself get beaten up from RAW last week, we get underway. The match highlight was Daivari knocking JR's hat off, and then hiding behind Hassan. Marvellous, but not enough to save this seemingly dire PPV so far. Oh, and for people not wanting to be branded as terrorists etc, Daivari really shouldn't be shouting "rip his head off". Just a thought. So, after taking a massive beating, Lawler hulks up momentarily, making for a pretty funny moment. The hilarity continues, as JR throws down his hat, and wags a finger at Daivari, all whilst Hassan nails Lawler with a DDT for the win. Predictable, and overly long. Heh, I hope they've got some more matches up their sleeve, or this is gonna be a reaaaallly short event.

Oh, but wait, after thinking hearing JR say "Los Sangeles", I thought it couldn't get any worse, but here comes Coach and his uber-loud ringtone music.

Kane defeated Gene Snitzky (11:38)
So, they added the "It wasn't my fault" soundbyte onto Snitzky's theme, oh the cheesiness. But wow - Lillian Garcia is looking hawt in that Star Spangled Banner outfit - *fap*. So, after rearing heads like a pair of homosexual buffalos, we get underway. Kane pulled back the arena floor padding, and proceeded to throw Snickers onto it, which was good, as we haven't seen that in quite a while. So, I chuckled slightly as a horn went off, as it reminded me of the same noise which Jeff Daniels made whilst on the toilet in Dumb an Dumber, a film I watched just days ago. Anyway, Snickers goes all Mike Tyson on Kane, attempting to bite him. Regardless, he fails to bite through to Kane's brain, and soon enough, Kane's implanting his head into the mat with a sloppy Tombstone. Still, it looked devastating enough. Again, nothing special. But you have to laugh when JR says "Kane's settle the score". Sure, he's killed Snickers' baby, and busted his throat, sure.

Ah yes, that sodding marvellous Royal Rumble promo. Pure brilliance. So, Coach is actually civil to Lawler and Ross. We cut poolside, and see some repeated clips of the divas being oiled and getting jiggy, and some new stuff. Namely, Simon Dean pushing a so-blatantly-staged porker into the water. Val Venis then beats Stacy Keibler with his pole, heh. Some other random cack that involves Maria getting her top taken off, but not for the camera. Shame.

Elimination Chamber World Heavyweight Title (Guest Referee: Shawn Michaels):
Triple H defeated Edge, Chris Benoit, Chris Jericho, Batista, and Randy Orton (34:56)
Wow, this is gonna either be a really long match, or a pretty short event. Following a one-minute procrastination speech from Bitchoff (and I really thought he was gonna trip when he left the chamber), we actually start the sure-to-be-long entrances. So, Garcia tells us that it's 5 minutes between entrances, as it was in the first EC match, but not in the second. They clearly want to drag this match out. Some funny entrance moments are HBK almost nutting the camera, and Orton taunting HHH, who is already in his chamber. So, after seven entrances, we actually start. One pretty cool thing was the crowd chanting the countdown in Puerto Rican. So, Triple H gets catapulted into the cage, and I could smell the blading a mile away. He bladed his nose - great work again, Aitch. Oh, and Jericho got busted somehow, too. Orton lays out pretty much everyone in sight, and stupidly doesn't pin a wasted Jericho. So, a somehow busted Benoit attempts to make Orton tap, but Triple H stupidly breaks the hold. Edge goes to spear Orton, and misses, hitting Aitch. He nails Orton the next time, but no HBK, so naturally, feeling screwed, Edge attacks Aitch, only to get the best superkick in the world right in his face, followed by a Lionsault and pinfall by Jericho. Pretty sodding brilliant. Shame, though, as we almost had all six guys in the ring, as Batista comes in about a minute later. DIVING HEADBUTT FROM BENOIT FROM THE TOP OF THE CHAMBER ON TRIPS! Jericho puts Trips in the Walls, and Benoit locks his head in the Crossface, just as Batista comes in and breaks the holds, after the refs taking their time in opening the door for a clearly frustrated Batista. So, Batista cleans house and comes face to face with Triple H, but before he can do anything, gets way-layed by the faces. In a moment that made me spray my orange juice all over my monitor, Jericho gets dumped on a camera man, and lets out a hilarious scream in due course. Brilliant. Oh, and the chamber's opened, so that refs could get the "injured" cameraman out. Could that be a chance for them to escape and climb atop the chamber? Yes, but none of them took it, despite Triple H being within arms reach of lobbing Orton out of it. Silly. Triple H is once again a fountain of blood, and Batista hits Benoit with a brilliant Spinebuster. He hits Jericho with one, slamming him on Benoit, and then pinning Benoit for the fall. It's not long before Jericho gets a long-deserved beating from Batista, and eliminated. So, Batista and Trips beat the cack out of Orton for the next few minutes, before Orton gets a second wind, and manages to pin Batista, whilst Triple H makes no effort to save his "friend". So, we're down to the boredom of Trips vs Orton. Great...Anyway, Batista attempts to interfere, but HBK holds him back, until Flair runs in and gets floored by HBK, allowing Batista to nail Orton. It's not long before Triple H nails Orton with a Pedigree, and nonchalantly covers him for the win. Bloody pathetic ending to an otherwise pretty decent match. Not better than the Survivor Series 2002 chamber, but a damn sight more entertaining than the Summerslam 2003 counterpart. Then, Batista comes back in and hoists Trips above his shoulders. I was hoping so much that he'd throw him from his shoulders, take the belt, and beat the living cack out of him, but no. I just hope this isn't the end of it, and they actually develop something from this - e.g. Batista annoyed at Trips for not helping him, but I find it unlikely.

Eliminations:
Edge by Chris Jericho (19:21)
Chris Benoit by Batista (26:16)
Chris Jericho by Batista (27:38)
Batista by Randy Orton (32:33)
Randy Orton by Triple H (34:56)

Overall? A sodding dire event, with only one, ney, two redeeming features - the Divas, and the Elimination Chamber. And the latter had the most awful result in the history of wrestling.
Wed 12/01/05 at 19:29
Regular
"Get It?Got It?Good!"
Posts: 3,561
I would have luved it if Batista smashed through his chamber to save triple h, he was getting so vexed waiting for the door to open! should have just smashed it
Wed 12/01/05 at 18:55
Regular
"Brooklyn boy"
Posts: 14,935
Jae wrote:
> Plus Triple H
> totally devalued both Jerichos and Benoits finishers when straight
> after the falling headbutt from the top of a chamber, the Walls of
> Jericho and Crossface were both locked in for about 20 seconds. Come
> on! Surely he should have tapped!


was going to mention that tonight but thanks for saving me doing so. 20 seconds locked in two of the most supposed crippling submission holds in the business after being slapped around some steel and he doesn't tap. Obviously Batista should have got out sooner if it wasn't for the bodged door but it still makes those 2 'finishers' look pathetic and in Benoit's case the second time in as many weeks
Wed 12/01/05 at 17:55
Regular
Posts: 11,373
Hah! Thank you, finally a review that makes me want to watch it. Way to show some enthusiasm Ant :)
Wed 12/01/05 at 17:15
Regular
"I like cheese"
Posts: 16,918
Heh, I enjoyed some of the PPV. I thought the Tag Titles match was very good, and to be honest I think all four participants reacted very well to the sudden injury to Eugene.

Women's match...all I can say is ouch really. That knee weren't supposed to be going that way.

I would certainly have given Maven and Benjamin 10 minutes rather than King and Hassan...though I do like Hassan. He's definitely menacing.

For what it was, I thought Kane vs Snitsky wasn't half bad. Leaves room for one more brutal match where Kane can REALLY settle the score. I liked the Tombstone too.

Credit to all participants of the Elimination Chamber...great match. Benoit and Edge both worked well, I think Edge was unlucky to go out so early and it was a bit disappointing because he was the dark horse...Benoit's headbutt was brilliant. I enjoyed Randy Orton as the prevailing face, and to be honest I thought Batista was awesome...whether he could reproduce the same type of feeling in a 60-minute Iron Man match for example though, is another matter. Triple H's entrance and his passion was fantastic and his performance the same I felt, but my favourite performance came from Chris Jericho. Everything he did in that match was magic.

Overall...the undercard was lacking but that was thanks to the Elimination Chamber, which I felt made up for it. Just.
Wed 12/01/05 at 14:09
Regular
"Too Orangy For Crow"
Posts: 15,844
Yeah, as far as I'm aware, submissions count.
Wed 12/01/05 at 12:53
Regular
"..."
Posts: 9,808
Jae wrote:
> Plus Triple H
> totally devalued both Jerichos and Benoits finishers when straight
> after the falling headbutt from the top of a chamber, the Walls of
> Jericho and Crossface were both locked in for about 20 seconds. Come
> on! Surely he should have tapped!

Do submissions count in the EC?
Tue 11/01/05 at 18:53
Regular
"Far Beyond Metal"
Posts: 5,748
Why?! Bah... I suppose we always knew Trips was gonna win it in the end. The Elimination Chamber match was entertaining. It's just a shame that the same couldn't be said for the result. Plus Triple H totally devalued both Jerichos and Benoits finishers when straight after the falling headbutt from the top of a chamber, the Walls of Jericho and Crossface were both locked in for about 20 seconds. Come on! Surely he should have tapped!
Tue 11/01/05 at 16:52
Regular
"adam is the only ga"
Posts: 49
ÂLŠ†ÂÎR wrote:
> I thought the Elimination Chamber was freaking excellent. The rest was
> a complete joke but I really enjoyed the Chamber, reminded me of
> Armageddon 2000 with the Hell in a Cell match.
chamber were crap and armageddon 2000 was aswell.Undertaker sat on the top of the cell for ten miniutes cause rikishi punched him. both a huge letdown
Tue 11/01/05 at 15:56
Regular
"you've got a beard"
Posts: 7,442
Cong_Man wrote:

> Trying to put Kane over as a monster now is pointless anyway, for
> gods sake he got beat by Matt Hardy.

i think you're over estimating the memories of the fans there mate.
he also used to be a disfigured mute remember? but fans will accept these changes and adaptions. even monsters will have off days and lose.

in addition, i hereby suggest that in honour of the events of the evening, this Pay-per-view be known from here on as "New Knees Revolution"
Tue 11/01/05 at 14:16
Regular
"..."
Posts: 9,808
Kawada wrote:
> First two matches ruined by injuries and the fact they contained
> people called Tyson, Lita and Trish

Lita = The epitome of style over content. If she got the basics right (learning how to throw a punch convincingly would be a good start) then I'd forgive her for the most.sloppy.moonsault.Ever!

> Maven vs Shelton was just plain horrible, if you weren't confident in
> it have someone attack Maven or Benjamin backstage and then either
> scheudle a different opponent or just cancel the match all together.

Even if they had gone ahead with the match, there's short and there's stupid. They could have worked a short but sensible match rather than the tosh we got served.

> Hassan vs King was absolutely dire highlighted by the zero crowd
> response it got. King's picking up his pension and Hassan carries on
> the streak of new arrivals with only 2 moves in his arsenal. An
> offensive debut to go with the offensive gimmick

I'm actually going to defend Hassan, as I refuse to judge him on the back of one match. Two things occured to me:- 1) BNot even Benoit could have dragged a decent match out of the King, given that he seems to have a pace slower than Higan these days. and 2) Someone has obviously told him what moves to do and what not do. I saw Mark Magnus a few years ago and he had a decent moveset, but all these moves are now gone and in their place are awful generic 'arabian' moves like the camel clutch. I'm surprisedwardrobe didn't make him wear those boots with the curled end, like every other arabian gimmicked wrestler ever has worn...

> Kane vs Snitsky was dullsville - the guy killed your kid, and almost
> ended your career Kane and your revenge is to ......... hit him with
> the sloppiest worst tombstone i've ever seen. Was that it? No
> psychotic revenge rampage? My my some 'monster' Kane is

Trying to put Kane over as a monster now is pointless anyway, for gods sake he got beat by Matt Hardy.

> Elimination chamber was boring. Only plus point of PPV was letting
> Benoit and Jericho wrestle before the over-hyped and useless monkeys
> came in to ruin it. We'd seen everything in the first one, the only
> new thing that could have been would be to go outside. Ah well HHH
> regains his belt to start 2005 where 2004 left off - in the gutter

I stopped watching just before the EC as I was tired and would rather go to sleep under my own steam than have HHH force me to go to sleep...

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