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From an email I recently received - you may have read it yourself, it may have been posted on here before, it may have got it's last poster banned. Anyway, I was amused, I hope you are, some guy has been very creative with Harry Pothead.
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Purely in the interests of science, I have replaced the word "wand" with "wang" in the first Harry Potter Book. Let's see the results...
"Why aren't you supposed to do magic?" asked Harry.
"Oh, well -- I was at Hogwarts meself but I -- er -- got expelled, ter tell yeh the truth. In me third year. They snapped me wang in half an' everything
A magic wang... this was what Harry had been really looking forward to.
"Yes, yes. I thought I'd be seeing you soon. Harry Potter." It wasn't a question. "You have your mother's eyes. It seems only yesterday she was in here herself, buying her first wang. Ten and a quarter inches long, swishy, made of willow. Nice wang for charm work."
"Your father, on the other hand, favored a mahogany wang. Eleven inches. "
Harry took the wang. He felt a sudden warmth in his fingers. He raised the wang above his head, brought it swishing down through the dusty air and a stream of red and gold sparks shot from the end like a firework, throwing dancing spots of light on to the walls
"Oh, move over," Hermione snarled. She grabbed Harry's wang, tapped the lock, and whispered, 'Alohomora!"
The troll couldn't feel Harry hanging there, but even a troll will notice if you stick a long bit of wood up its nose, and Harry's wang had still been in his hand when he'd jumped - it had gone straight up one of the troll's nostrils.
He bent down and pulled his wang out of the troll's nose. It was covered in what looked like lumpy gray glue.
He ran onto the field as you fell, waved his wang, and you sort of slowed down before you hit the ground. Then he whirled his wang at the dementors. Shot silver stuff at them.
Ok...
I have found, definitive proof that J.K Rowling is a dirty DIRTY woman, making a fool of us all:
"Yes," Harry said, gripping his wang very tightly, and moving into the middle of the deserted classroom. He tried to keep his mind on flying, but something else kept intruding.... Any second now, he might hear his mother again... but he shouldn't think that, or he would hear her again, and he didn't want to... or did he?
Something silver-white, something enormous, erupted from the end of his wang
Then, with a sigh, he raised his wang and prodded the silvery substance with its tip.
'Get - off - me!' Harry gasped. For a few seconds they struggled, Harry pulling at his uncles sausage-like fingers with his left hand, his right maintaining a firm grip on his raised wang.
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Enjoy... *Gets banned, perhaps* :(
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"Why aren't you supposed to do magic?" asked Harry.
"Oh, well -- I was at Hogwarts meself but I -- er -- got expelled, ter tell yeh the truth. In me third year. They snapped me wang in half an' everything
A magic wang... this was what Harry had been really looking forward to.
"Yes, yes. I thought I'd be seeing you soon. Harry Potter." It wasn't a question. "You have your mother's eyes. It seems only yesterday she was in here herself, buying her first wang. Ten and a quarter inches long, swishy, made of willow. Nice wang for charm work."
"Your father, on the other hand, favored a mahogany wang. Eleven inches. "
Harry took the wang. He felt a sudden warmth in his fingers. He raised the wang above his head, brought it swishing down through the dusty air and a stream of red and gold sparks shot from the end like a firework, throwing dancing spots of light on to the walls
"Oh, move over," Hermione snarled. She grabbed Harry's wang, tapped the lock, and whispered, 'Alohomora!"
The troll couldn't feel Harry hanging there, but even a troll will notice if you stick a long bit of wood up its nose, and Harry's wang had still been in his hand when he'd jumped - it had gone straight up one of the troll's nostrils.
He bent down and pulled his wang out of the troll's nose. It was covered in what looked like lumpy gray glue.
He ran onto the field as you fell, waved his wang, and you sort of slowed down before you hit the ground. Then he whirled his wang at the dementors. Shot silver stuff at them.
Ok...
I have found, definitive proof that J.K Rowling is a dirty DIRTY woman, making a fool of us all:
"Yes," Harry said, gripping his wang very tightly, and moving into the middle of the deserted classroom. He tried to keep his mind on flying, but something else kept intruding.... Any second now, he might hear his mother again... but he shouldn't think that, or he would hear her again, and he didn't want to... or did he?
Something silver-white, something enormous, erupted from the end of his wang
Then, with a sigh, he raised his wang and prodded the silvery substance with its tip.
'Get - off - me!' Harry gasped. For a few seconds they struggled, Harry pulling at his uncles sausage-like fingers with his left hand, his right maintaining a firm grip on his raised wang.
____________________________
Enjoy... *Gets banned, perhaps* :(
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Cong_Man wrote:
> Lucy Jane wrote:
> ok call me stupid is Wang_king Witch King?!
>
> Can you tell ive been away for a while..
>
> Umm, did you even read the first post :-s
Yus course i did however in FOG people have been talking about Wang King in there.. so..
> Lucy Jane wrote:
> ok call me stupid is Wang_king Witch King?!
>
> Can you tell ive been away for a while..
>
> Umm, did you even read the first post :-s
Yus course i did however in FOG people have been talking about Wang King in there.. so..
Lucy Jane wrote:
> ok call me stupid is Wang_king Witch King?!
>
> Can you tell ive been away for a while..
Umm, did you even read the first post :-s
> ok call me stupid is Wang_king Witch King?!
>
> Can you tell ive been away for a while..
Umm, did you even read the first post :-s
ok call me stupid is Wang_king Witch King?!
Can you tell ive been away for a while..
Can you tell ive been away for a while..
I think the moral of the story, which Hibe failed to get across, was that pre-pubescent Wizards like to play with their wang. A lot.
Everyone in this topic is poo, including me.
Kibitzer wrote:
> You suck
The Hibernator wrote:
> Nah, girls do :(
.. the fact that you put a sad face after this makes me question your sexuality.
lots.
> You suck
The Hibernator wrote:
> Nah, girls do :(
.. the fact that you put a sad face after this makes me question your sexuality.
lots.
The Hibernator wrote:
> OMG!
> *Leaves*
Please do.
> OMG!
> *Leaves*
Please do.
mattributé wrote:
> What, because he doesn't want to know ho you got rejected and how
> you're SO ALONE AND NOBODY UNDERSTAND YOU BUT YOURSELF
No no... when ne nags you about your lovelife as often as he does mine, you'll wanna smack him too. And that last comment meant that one day he's nice and ass-kissing, the next he acts a pr!ck.
OMG! Pr!ck is banned by the swear filter!
*Leaves*
> What, because he doesn't want to know ho you got rejected and how
> you're SO ALONE AND NOBODY UNDERSTAND YOU BUT YOURSELF
No no... when ne nags you about your lovelife as often as he does mine, you'll wanna smack him too. And that last comment meant that one day he's nice and ass-kissing, the next he acts a pr!ck.
OMG! Pr!ck is banned by the swear filter!
*Leaves*
mattributé wrote:
> What, because he doesn't want to know ho you got rejected and how
> you're SO ALONE AND NOBODY UNDERSTAND YOU BUT YOURSELF
Hahaha
Still smarting from that are we matteh?
Hahaha
> What, because he doesn't want to know ho you got rejected and how
> you're SO ALONE AND NOBODY UNDERSTAND YOU BUT YOURSELF
Hahaha
Still smarting from that are we matteh?
Hahaha
What, because he doesn't want to know ho you got rejected and how you're SO ALONE AND NOBODY UNDERSTAND YOU BUT YOURSELF
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