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"Another Christmas, another harvest"

Every year this happens. I tell my family I don't want anything: "But it's Christmas, you've got to have something.", "But it's a religious holiday, which I don't believe in, and have no right to celebrate. I only did in the past because you confused it with tradition. If you must, get me a card, and definitely no clothes." So Christmas day arrives. By a curious twist of fate, I've managed to get away from sitting round a table with my family, watching my Dad embarrass himself, and Grandma get increasingly drunk. This year it's the girlfriends house, thank f**k. And it's fun - I win a quiz, and the food is nice. We talk about chavs, swear openly, and everyone is friendly.

The next day I go home, and I have presents to open from the family. A harvest of shiiiite - I asked for no presents, not no effort. 2 x deodorant kits, vouchers for places I never shop, and the most horrible horrible chav uniform from my Brother. I thought it was a joke, why would anyone wear anything like this monstrosity, other than to be pointed out as a useless member of society? That's what I thought Next, Topman and River Island were - Chav costume shops. Now the word 'Chav' is overused in our vocabulary frequently, but there's no other word for it. My Brother has known me for nearly 24 years. Through my grunge period, Britpop period, to my current indie lo-fi leanings. He knows better, which means his orange girlfriend must have got it!

I asked for nothing, I was giving next to nothing, which is useless and makes me look ungrateful. They could have got me tools, shoelaces or even cups. One year an Aunt got me a bottle of ketchup - it was fantastic, the most thoughtful present I ever had because it's the only thing I've ever really wanted and I got it! Next year I become a hermit.

I had a really good Scalectrix set up in my loft, it was micro-scalectrix too, whichare faster and smaller.

And it was set up in such a way that the banked curve right after the straight was next to a wall.
When you went flat out "SMASH" into teh wall.
It was like 11 metres long, and sheer quality.

Scelectrix or whatever.. It's crap. I have one too. Two or more cars moving around a stupid track. It's original for about 10 seconds. And then you can never go flat out because the stupid little things fall off. God, I hate that thing.

I say, sir. Suits you, sir.

I got a mini table tennis thing and a mini scelectric set or however it is is spelt.

Both useless and will just gather dust.

Say what?

I do say.

:)

Clazon wrote:
> munn wrote:
>
> That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard.
>
> I know. It was intended to be.
> :)

Whatever you say.....

I don't really believe in the who religious stuff, but that doesn't mean I don't deserve present :D

munn wrote:

> That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard.

I know. It was intended to be.
:)

> He can celebrate it if he wants, it's the celebration of the Earth
> making a full orbit of the sun, that has nothing to do with religion.

And an excuse to get hammered.

Better than a 500 piece jigsaw puzzle of Blackpool.