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"No. Goddamit no."

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Fri 17/12/04 at 18:09
Regular
"Infantalised Forums"
Posts: 23,089
A remake of John Carpenter's "Assault on Precinct 13"
Except you don't need to watch this t**d, because the trailer gives it all away. Even though the plot is significantly different to the original.
Yep, police station surrounded.
Yep, people outside trying to kill those inside.

But the trailer tells you exactly what this new version is about:

Morpheus "Do you...know who I am?"
Ethan Teen "Cop Killer"
Tearful Woman "Why are cops outside trying to kill us?"
Morpheus "Because I cannot go to trial, they will kill us all"

??????????????
What's the point of having the entire plot explained in a trailer?
And why cops? The original still bears repeated viewing, starting with the assaulters shooting a little girl in the chest when she runs back to the ice-cream van (bet your ass that won't be in the new version).
Stupid trailer-voice man has just saved me £5
Sat 18/12/04 at 02:03
Regular
"A man with a stick"
Posts: 5,883
I'm sorry, the bad guys are cops?????? Stupidest thing I've ever heard in my entire life. Oh, I'm sorry, corrupt cops.................................... No, still stupid.

What I loved about the original where the "Assaulters" themselves. Drug crazed, zombified madmen who didn't batter an eyelid at shooting children, or cops or anyone else stupid enough to get their way. They never once spoke, adding to the mystery as to why they where at Precinct 13 and why they sacrificed so many of their own to get in. These where evil, scary people, making that last stand off all the more tense.

Still, I suppose this sequel will have a "totally cool ass soundtrack" and lots of unnecessary bullet time, slow motion shots and plenty of completely inappropriate explosions. Typical Hollywood remake then, brain-dead.
Fri 17/12/04 at 22:52
Regular
"Not a Jew"
Posts: 7,532
Donkey rapers and gorilla sodomisers all. Why can't they just leave films like this alone? Precinct 13 was legendary.
I can just imagine overhearing some scum, like I always do:
"You seen Assault on Precinct 13?"
"The crappy old one?"
"Nah, the cool new one with explosions."

Gah, you dog fiddler.
Fri 17/12/04 at 18:40
Regular
"8==="
Posts: 33,481
Trailer man: Come watch The 6th Sense!!

Quick legal speech at the end: All characters are purely fictional and by the way Willis turns out to be a ghost. Ha! I laugh at you feeble minded idiots who will go see the film regardless.







Although, of course, anyone who's read the book before seeing a movie based on the book will know the ending and plot and yet some movies are more than ok despite this.

Doesn't work so well with a film remake where most of the draw would be unknown changes to the plot.
Fri 17/12/04 at 18:28
Regular
"We are the dead"
Posts: 299
The original was excellent and, like always, this'll be completely ruined I imagine.
Fri 17/12/04 at 18:26
Regular
"Infantalised Forums"
Posts: 23,089
Yep.
I didn't even wait for the "Are the cops on the outside" line, turned it off.
The original had a black cop, white nasty villain and gang members outside.
Not Ethan Teen and Morpheus battling rogue-cops. It's that awful "Hey, Morpheus can't be a villain, so he might've killed a couple of cops but they were corrupt, hence the other corrupt cops trying to kill him".
Thereby enabling Morpheus to shoot naughty cops, Ethan Hawke to assist a supposed criminal and the inevitable tense stand-off.
No moral grey area allowed in 2004.
Fri 17/12/04 at 18:26
Regular
"Twenty quid."
Posts: 11,452
Words fail me.

Apart from those words.

And those.

Etc.
Fri 17/12/04 at 18:20
Regular
"Lisan al-Gaib"
Posts: 7,093
munn wrote:
> So?
>
> Saving Private Ryan's title tells you what the entire film is about.
>
> Some people trying to save a Private called Ryan.
>
> Doesn't make me moan.

you're missing the point here. "Attack on precinct 13" implies an attack. On a cop precinct. Number 13.

What it doesn't tell you is why

Having watched the trailer, all is given away.

You can bet your ass there will be a tense standoff, between morpheus and "that irish guy from ghost ship" of which Etan hawk will fire the deciding shot.

"I aint going to trial! I'll kill you before I go to the joint!" (levels gun at an unarmed, and beatup mr Fishbourne" *blam"
"Thank you Ethan, even though I'm a criminal, you've seen that a corrupt cop is a far greater threat to society. I'm off now to open a florist, and pet kittens, I've seen the error of my ways"

Asshats.
Fri 17/12/04 at 18:17
Regular
"Lisan al-Gaib"
Posts: 7,093
Trailer man "the only thing more dangeous than the criminals on the inside"

me - "are the cops on the outside?"

trailerman "are the cops on the outside"

Well, whoopy.
Fri 17/12/04 at 18:13
Regular
Posts: 11,038
So?

Saving Private Ryan's title tells you what the entire film is about.

Some people trying to save a Private called Ryan.

Doesn't make me moan.
Fri 17/12/04 at 18:09
Regular
"Infantalised Forums"
Posts: 23,089
A remake of John Carpenter's "Assault on Precinct 13"
Except you don't need to watch this t**d, because the trailer gives it all away. Even though the plot is significantly different to the original.
Yep, police station surrounded.
Yep, people outside trying to kill those inside.

But the trailer tells you exactly what this new version is about:

Morpheus "Do you...know who I am?"
Ethan Teen "Cop Killer"
Tearful Woman "Why are cops outside trying to kill us?"
Morpheus "Because I cannot go to trial, they will kill us all"

??????????????
What's the point of having the entire plot explained in a trailer?
And why cops? The original still bears repeated viewing, starting with the assaulters shooting a little girl in the chest when she runs back to the ice-cream van (bet your ass that won't be in the new version).
Stupid trailer-voice man has just saved me £5

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