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[B] Dead Street by Luke Poulton [B]
As you walk the street with Drug Dealers,Mad Killers and Gangbangers. A chill runs down your spine. When people run out their houses screaming and shouting when you step a foot on that street. "Come on Billy lets go to dead street"shouted Tom. "No we're get killed" answered Billy. "Ok then lets play a game I will give you ten pound if you can run to the end of the street without anyone getting you"Asked Tom. "Ok then"Answered Billy. They walk down the road and came to the end of dead street.
"On your marks,get set,Go billy go"Boomed Tom. Billy ran for it he pegged it down the road. A man came running out his house after Billy. "Get off of dead street kid now or I will kill you" Shouted the man. Billy just ran for it the man was chasing after him. Billy tripped and fell right over. "Now your dead kid" Thundered the man. The man grabbed hold of Billy and stabbed him in the back five times. "Oh my God" Said Tom. Tom ran for it he had to get home. When Tom got home he was crying really bad. "What ever is the matter Tom" asked his mum. "Billy's dead he was killed on dead street he was stabbed and its all my fault" cryed Tom.
"Dead street I thought I told you not to down there" Shouted Tom's mum. Tom faited to the floor everything went dark. "Tom wake up wake up Tom"Said a mysteryrious voice. Tom looked up it was Billy. "Billy what are you doing I thought you were dead" asked Tom. "Yeah I am but im here to kill you" shouted Billy. "No Billy please Billy Nooooooooooooo".
Two Years later. "Ok Mike I will pay you ten pound to go down dead street" Called John. "But didn't that kid get killed down there" shouted out mike. "Its ten pound Mike ten pound" Shouted out John. "Ok then are do it"answered Mike. "Ok your marks, get set,Go Mike Go". Mike ran for it something was running towards him. "Hi my names Billy and im here to kill you" Shouted the thing. "Ahhhhhh nooooooooo" Screamed Mike.
The End
As you walk the street with Drug Dealers,Mad Killers and Gangbangers. A chill runs down your spine. When people run out their houses screaming and shouting when you step a foot on that street. "Come on Billy lets go to dead street"shouted Tom. "No we're get killed" answered Billy. "Ok then lets play a game I will give you ten pound if you can run to the end of the street without anyone getting you"Asked Tom. "Ok then"Answered Billy. They walk down the road and came to the end of dead street.
"On your marks,get set,Go billy go"Boomed Tom. Billy ran for it he pegged it down the road. A man came running out his house after Billy. "Get off of dead street kid now or I will kill you" Shouted the man. Billy just ran for it the man was chasing after him. Billy tripped and fell right over. "Now your dead kid" Thundered the man. The man grabbed hold of Billy and stabbed him in the back five times. "Oh my God" Said Tom. Tom ran for it he had to get home. When Tom got home he was crying really bad. "What ever is the matter Tom" asked his mum. "Billy's dead he was killed on dead street he was stabbed and its all my fault" cryed Tom.
"Dead street I thought I told you not to down there" Shouted Tom's mum. Tom faited to the floor everything went dark. "Tom wake up wake up Tom"Said a mysteryrious voice. Tom looked up it was Billy. "Billy what are you doing I thought you were dead" asked Tom. "Yeah I am but im here to kill you" shouted Billy. "No Billy please Billy Nooooooooooooo".
Two Years later. "Ok Mike I will pay you ten pound to go down dead street" Called John. "But didn't that kid get killed down there" shouted out mike. "Its ten pound Mike ten pound" Shouted out John. "Ok then are do it"answered Mike. "Ok your marks, get set,Go Mike Go". Mike ran for it something was running towards him. "Hi my names Billy and im here to kill you" Shouted the thing. "Ahhhhhh nooooooooo" Screamed Mike.
The End
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Do you even know what a gang banger or a gang bang is? Coz im sure they wouldnt be that dangeropus...just busy. Anyay we're get killed means we are get killed. i hope you actually understand that doesnt make sense.
Sweet. Whatastory are so cool and very impresses. Cool theme and originally and stuff and and and go get a psychiatrist. Wow man like you bigest fane or cool wow wowwow.
"Get off of dead street kid now or I will kill you" Shouted the man. Billy just ran for it the man was chasing after him. Billy tripped and fell right over. "Now your dead kid" Thundered the man. The man grabbed hold of Billy and stabbed him in the back five times
Brilliant. And also;
"Its ten pound Mike ten pound" Shouted out John. "Ok then are do it"answered Mike.
That's the single most glorious story that I ever did read.
Brilliant. And also;
"Its ten pound Mike ten pound" Shouted out John. "Ok then are do it"answered Mike.
That's the single most glorious story that I ever did read.
gerrid wrote:
> This is actually the best story that I've ever read.
It's utter magic.
> This is actually the best story that I've ever read.
It's utter magic.
This is actually the best story that I've ever read.
Two Years later. "Ok Mike I will pay you ten pound to go down dead street" Called John. "But didn't that kid get killed down there" shouted out mike. "Its ten pound Mike ten pound"
Genius.
Genius.
I'm still trying to work out this line:
"No we're get killed"
If it was a movie, and we're talking quality here, not content, it would be on 'The Horror Channel'.
"No we're get killed"
If it was a movie, and we're talking quality here, not content, it would be on 'The Horror Channel'.
FinalFantasyFanatic wrote:
> It could have been fairly decent teen-movie trash at best.
ooh, you make me want to re-write it (with a little artistic working) and prove you wrong.
Maybe later...
> It could have been fairly decent teen-movie trash at best.
ooh, you make me want to re-write it (with a little artistic working) and prove you wrong.
Maybe later...
It could have been fairly decent teen-movie trash at best.
I think the next competition should be to re-write this story so it's more appealing.
The thing is, I can see what he's trying to do here and there is the basis for a good story, but it's just written all wrong. With more build up and a better constructed storyline it could have been very good...
The thing is, I can see what he's trying to do here and there is the basis for a good story, but it's just written all wrong. With more build up and a better constructed storyline it could have been very good...
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