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[B] Dead Street by Luke Poulton [B]
As you walk the street with Drug Dealers,Mad Killers and Gangbangers. A chill runs down your spine. When people run out their houses screaming and shouting when you step a foot on that street. "Come on Billy lets go to dead street"shouted Tom. "No we're get killed" answered Billy. "Ok then lets play a game I will give you ten pound if you can run to the end of the street without anyone getting you"Asked Tom. "Ok then"Answered Billy. They walk down the road and came to the end of dead street.
"On your marks,get set,Go billy go"Boomed Tom. Billy ran for it he pegged it down the road. A man came running out his house after Billy. "Get off of dead street kid now or I will kill you" Shouted the man. Billy just ran for it the man was chasing after him. Billy tripped and fell right over. "Now your dead kid" Thundered the man. The man grabbed hold of Billy and stabbed him in the back five times. "Oh my God" Said Tom. Tom ran for it he had to get home. When Tom got home he was crying really bad. "What ever is the matter Tom" asked his mum. "Billy's dead he was killed on dead street he was stabbed and its all my fault" cryed Tom.
"Dead street I thought I told you not to down there" Shouted Tom's mum. Tom faited to the floor everything went dark. "Tom wake up wake up Tom"Said a mysteryrious voice. Tom looked up it was Billy. "Billy what are you doing I thought you were dead" asked Tom. "Yeah I am but im here to kill you" shouted Billy. "No Billy please Billy Nooooooooooooo".
Two Years later. "Ok Mike I will pay you ten pound to go down dead street" Called John. "But didn't that kid get killed down there" shouted out mike. "Its ten pound Mike ten pound" Shouted out John. "Ok then are do it"answered Mike. "Ok your marks, get set,Go Mike Go". Mike ran for it something was running towards him. "Hi my names Billy and im here to kill you" Shouted the thing. "Ahhhhhh nooooooooo" Screamed Mike.
The End
As you walk the street with Drug Dealers,Mad Killers and Gangbangers. A chill runs down your spine. When people run out their houses screaming and shouting when you step a foot on that street. "Come on Billy lets go to dead street"shouted Tom. "No we're get killed" answered Billy. "Ok then lets play a game I will give you ten pound if you can run to the end of the street without anyone getting you"Asked Tom. "Ok then"Answered Billy. They walk down the road and came to the end of dead street.
"On your marks,get set,Go billy go"Boomed Tom. Billy ran for it he pegged it down the road. A man came running out his house after Billy. "Get off of dead street kid now or I will kill you" Shouted the man. Billy just ran for it the man was chasing after him. Billy tripped and fell right over. "Now your dead kid" Thundered the man. The man grabbed hold of Billy and stabbed him in the back five times. "Oh my God" Said Tom. Tom ran for it he had to get home. When Tom got home he was crying really bad. "What ever is the matter Tom" asked his mum. "Billy's dead he was killed on dead street he was stabbed and its all my fault" cryed Tom.
"Dead street I thought I told you not to down there" Shouted Tom's mum. Tom faited to the floor everything went dark. "Tom wake up wake up Tom"Said a mysteryrious voice. Tom looked up it was Billy. "Billy what are you doing I thought you were dead" asked Tom. "Yeah I am but im here to kill you" shouted Billy. "No Billy please Billy Nooooooooooooo".
Two Years later. "Ok Mike I will pay you ten pound to go down dead street" Called John. "But didn't that kid get killed down there" shouted out mike. "Its ten pound Mike ten pound" Shouted out John. "Ok then are do it"answered Mike. "Ok your marks, get set,Go Mike Go". Mike ran for it something was running towards him. "Hi my names Billy and im here to kill you" Shouted the thing. "Ahhhhhh nooooooooo" Screamed Mike.
The End
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[B] Dead Street by Luke Poulton [B]
As you walk the street with Drug Dealers,Mad Killers and Gangbangers. A chill runs down your spine. When people run out their houses screaming and shouting when you step a foot on that street. "Come on Billy lets go to dead street"shouted Tom. "No we're get killed" answered Billy. "Ok then lets play a game I will give you ten pound if you can run to the end of the street without anyone getting you"Asked Tom. "Ok then"Answered Billy. They walk down the road and came to the end of dead street.
"On your marks,get set,Go billy go"Boomed Tom. Billy ran for it he pegged it down the road. A man came running out his house after Billy. "Get off of dead street kid now or I will kill you" Shouted the man. Billy just ran for it the man was chasing after him. Billy tripped and fell right over. "Now your dead kid" Thundered the man. The man grabbed hold of Billy and stabbed him in the back five times. "Oh my God" Said Tom. Tom ran for it he had to get home. When Tom got home he was crying really bad. "What ever is the matter Tom" asked his mum. "Billy's dead he was killed on dead street he was stabbed and its all my fault" cryed Tom.
"Dead street I thought I told you not to down there" Shouted Tom's mum. Tom faited to the floor everything went dark. "Tom wake up wake up Tom"Said a mysteryrious voice. Tom looked up it was Billy. "Billy what are you doing I thought you were dead" asked Tom. "Yeah I am but im here to kill you" shouted Billy. "No Billy please Billy Nooooooooooooo".
Two Years later. "Ok Mike I will pay you ten pound to go down dead street" Called John. "But didn't that kid get killed down there" shouted out mike. "Its ten pound Mike ten pound" Shouted out John. "Ok then are do it"answered Mike. "Ok your marks, get set,Go Mike Go". Mike ran for it something was running towards him. "Hi my names Billy and im here to kill you" Shouted the thing. "Ahhhhhh nooooooooo" Screamed Mike.
The End
As you walk the street with Drug Dealers,Mad Killers and Gangbangers. A chill runs down your spine. When people run out their houses screaming and shouting when you step a foot on that street. "Come on Billy lets go to dead street"shouted Tom. "No we're get killed" answered Billy. "Ok then lets play a game I will give you ten pound if you can run to the end of the street without anyone getting you"Asked Tom. "Ok then"Answered Billy. They walk down the road and came to the end of dead street.
"On your marks,get set,Go billy go"Boomed Tom. Billy ran for it he pegged it down the road. A man came running out his house after Billy. "Get off of dead street kid now or I will kill you" Shouted the man. Billy just ran for it the man was chasing after him. Billy tripped and fell right over. "Now your dead kid" Thundered the man. The man grabbed hold of Billy and stabbed him in the back five times. "Oh my God" Said Tom. Tom ran for it he had to get home. When Tom got home he was crying really bad. "What ever is the matter Tom" asked his mum. "Billy's dead he was killed on dead street he was stabbed and its all my fault" cryed Tom.
"Dead street I thought I told you not to down there" Shouted Tom's mum. Tom faited to the floor everything went dark. "Tom wake up wake up Tom"Said a mysteryrious voice. Tom looked up it was Billy. "Billy what are you doing I thought you were dead" asked Tom. "Yeah I am but im here to kill you" shouted Billy. "No Billy please Billy Nooooooooooooo".
Two Years later. "Ok Mike I will pay you ten pound to go down dead street" Called John. "But didn't that kid get killed down there" shouted out mike. "Its ten pound Mike ten pound" Shouted out John. "Ok then are do it"answered Mike. "Ok your marks, get set,Go Mike Go". Mike ran for it something was running towards him. "Hi my names Billy and im here to kill you" Shouted the thing. "Ahhhhhh nooooooooo" Screamed Mike.
The End
Good, for a five year old that’s been playing to many violent computer games.
Well, at least you followed the comp title. Consiously or not.
what was the comp title?
and im not five!
6?
no im 13!
I'm speechless..................
That is the single funniest thing I've ever read in my life.
What can I say? It needs to be a little more... 'subtle'.
What can I say? It needs to be a little more... 'subtle'.
I think the next competition should be to re-write this story so it's more appealing.
The thing is, I can see what he's trying to do here and there is the basis for a good story, but it's just written all wrong. With more build up and a better constructed storyline it could have been very good...
The thing is, I can see what he's trying to do here and there is the basis for a good story, but it's just written all wrong. With more build up and a better constructed storyline it could have been very good...
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