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Take this wonderful example,
Being somewhat annoyed (or greater if the swear filter wasn't in place) at the fact my order off Amazon (a couple of CDs) has been 'dispatching soon' for about five days, I sent an email to Amazon thus:
Is there any particular reason why my order's been 'dispatching soon' for the last 5 days?
I wouldn't usually call 5 days 'soon' unless we're working in historical terms now, and I don't think it takes that long to shove a few things in a box.
Maybe you should check on the dispatch guy - he hasn't got a bad heart by any chance? Or has he slipped gently over in madness, not being able to find the end of the salotape, and is hiding in the rafters, using my CDs as prototype throwing-stars?
I might be able to understand things if, say, you were kindly re-recording both albums, pressing them and collecting the rarest of plastics - formed only by 200-year-old monks from their saliva and righteous hemp. But I don't think that would be either neccesary (although I'd appriciate the gesture) or practically possible.
It's the dispactch dates, really - you should take a look see at them as well. My order certainly isn't going to get here by tomorrow, is it? Yet your estimate stays resolute in it's predictions.
The same thing happened with Paper Mario 2 the other day - I ordered it well before, and was happy to see a dispatch estimate of the 11th. On the 12th, it hadn't gone - hadn't even started to: but at least I could cancel that and order from somewhere a little more reliable.
No so with this lot.
That spurtage alone made me feel pretty good.
And today, I get this nice reply:
Dear Customer
Thank you for contacting Amazon.co.uk.
First, I would like to apologise for the delay in dispatching your
order
I don't blame you for being upset, and I do apologise profusely for
all of the mistakes and delays which contributed to this very
unfortunate series of encounters.
yadda yadda yadda, we're usually much better, honest
We are processing your order now, and your package
should leave our Fulfilment Centre soon.
now that wasn't too hard, was it?
Please accept our apologies for this delivery delay. Although it
certainly cannot make up for the inconvenience this has caused, we
would like to give you a 3.00 GBP gift certificate, for use toward
your next Amazon.co.uk order.
not bad, thankee. don't mind if I do
In addition to our large selection, one of the benefits we'd like to
offer our customers is convenience, and I realise that we have not met
that standard in this case.
I hope that you will give us another opportunity to prove the quality
of our service to you in the future.
Thank you for shopping at Amazon.co.uk
Warmest regards
Pranav Gupta
Customer Service
Amazon.co.uk
yey sarcasm.
Being somewhat annoyed (or greater if the swear filter wasn't in place) at the fact my order off Amazon (a couple of CDs) has been 'dispatching soon' for about five days, I sent an email to Amazon thus:
Is there any particular reason why my order's been 'dispatching soon' for the last 5 days?
I wouldn't usually call 5 days 'soon' unless we're working in historical terms now, and I don't think it takes that long to shove a few things in a box.
Maybe you should check on the dispatch guy - he hasn't got a bad heart by any chance? Or has he slipped gently over in madness, not being able to find the end of the salotape, and is hiding in the rafters, using my CDs as prototype throwing-stars?
I might be able to understand things if, say, you were kindly re-recording both albums, pressing them and collecting the rarest of plastics - formed only by 200-year-old monks from their saliva and righteous hemp. But I don't think that would be either neccesary (although I'd appriciate the gesture) or practically possible.
It's the dispactch dates, really - you should take a look see at them as well. My order certainly isn't going to get here by tomorrow, is it? Yet your estimate stays resolute in it's predictions.
The same thing happened with Paper Mario 2 the other day - I ordered it well before, and was happy to see a dispatch estimate of the 11th. On the 12th, it hadn't gone - hadn't even started to: but at least I could cancel that and order from somewhere a little more reliable.
No so with this lot.
That spurtage alone made me feel pretty good.
And today, I get this nice reply:
Dear Customer
Thank you for contacting Amazon.co.uk.
First, I would like to apologise for the delay in dispatching your
order
I don't blame you for being upset, and I do apologise profusely for
all of the mistakes and delays which contributed to this very
unfortunate series of encounters.
yadda yadda yadda, we're usually much better, honest
We are processing your order now, and your package
should leave our Fulfilment Centre soon.
now that wasn't too hard, was it?
Please accept our apologies for this delivery delay. Although it
certainly cannot make up for the inconvenience this has caused, we
would like to give you a 3.00 GBP gift certificate, for use toward
your next Amazon.co.uk order.
not bad, thankee. don't mind if I do
In addition to our large selection, one of the benefits we'd like to
offer our customers is convenience, and I realise that we have not met
that standard in this case.
I hope that you will give us another opportunity to prove the quality
of our service to you in the future.
Thank you for shopping at Amazon.co.uk
Warmest regards
Pranav Gupta
Customer Service
Amazon.co.uk
yey sarcasm.
Page:
And it's all been sent.
God bless Pranav
God bless Pranav
halotape for the less divine.
Idiot.
Idiot.
What the hell is salotape
Take this wonderful example,
Being somewhat annoyed (or greater if the swear filter wasn't in place) at the fact my order off Amazon (a couple of CDs) has been 'dispatching soon' for about five days, I sent an email to Amazon thus:
Is there any particular reason why my order's been 'dispatching soon' for the last 5 days?
I wouldn't usually call 5 days 'soon' unless we're working in historical terms now, and I don't think it takes that long to shove a few things in a box.
Maybe you should check on the dispatch guy - he hasn't got a bad heart by any chance? Or has he slipped gently over in madness, not being able to find the end of the salotape, and is hiding in the rafters, using my CDs as prototype throwing-stars?
I might be able to understand things if, say, you were kindly re-recording both albums, pressing them and collecting the rarest of plastics - formed only by 200-year-old monks from their saliva and righteous hemp. But I don't think that would be either neccesary (although I'd appriciate the gesture) or practically possible.
It's the dispactch dates, really - you should take a look see at them as well. My order certainly isn't going to get here by tomorrow, is it? Yet your estimate stays resolute in it's predictions.
The same thing happened with Paper Mario 2 the other day - I ordered it well before, and was happy to see a dispatch estimate of the 11th. On the 12th, it hadn't gone - hadn't even started to: but at least I could cancel that and order from somewhere a little more reliable.
No so with this lot.
That spurtage alone made me feel pretty good.
And today, I get this nice reply:
Dear Customer
Thank you for contacting Amazon.co.uk.
First, I would like to apologise for the delay in dispatching your
order
I don't blame you for being upset, and I do apologise profusely for
all of the mistakes and delays which contributed to this very
unfortunate series of encounters.
yadda yadda yadda, we're usually much better, honest
We are processing your order now, and your package
should leave our Fulfilment Centre soon.
now that wasn't too hard, was it?
Please accept our apologies for this delivery delay. Although it
certainly cannot make up for the inconvenience this has caused, we
would like to give you a 3.00 GBP gift certificate, for use toward
your next Amazon.co.uk order.
not bad, thankee. don't mind if I do
In addition to our large selection, one of the benefits we'd like to
offer our customers is convenience, and I realise that we have not met
that standard in this case.
I hope that you will give us another opportunity to prove the quality
of our service to you in the future.
Thank you for shopping at Amazon.co.uk
Warmest regards
Pranav Gupta
Customer Service
Amazon.co.uk
yey sarcasm.
Being somewhat annoyed (or greater if the swear filter wasn't in place) at the fact my order off Amazon (a couple of CDs) has been 'dispatching soon' for about five days, I sent an email to Amazon thus:
Is there any particular reason why my order's been 'dispatching soon' for the last 5 days?
I wouldn't usually call 5 days 'soon' unless we're working in historical terms now, and I don't think it takes that long to shove a few things in a box.
Maybe you should check on the dispatch guy - he hasn't got a bad heart by any chance? Or has he slipped gently over in madness, not being able to find the end of the salotape, and is hiding in the rafters, using my CDs as prototype throwing-stars?
I might be able to understand things if, say, you were kindly re-recording both albums, pressing them and collecting the rarest of plastics - formed only by 200-year-old monks from their saliva and righteous hemp. But I don't think that would be either neccesary (although I'd appriciate the gesture) or practically possible.
It's the dispactch dates, really - you should take a look see at them as well. My order certainly isn't going to get here by tomorrow, is it? Yet your estimate stays resolute in it's predictions.
The same thing happened with Paper Mario 2 the other day - I ordered it well before, and was happy to see a dispatch estimate of the 11th. On the 12th, it hadn't gone - hadn't even started to: but at least I could cancel that and order from somewhere a little more reliable.
No so with this lot.
That spurtage alone made me feel pretty good.
And today, I get this nice reply:
Dear Customer
Thank you for contacting Amazon.co.uk.
First, I would like to apologise for the delay in dispatching your
order
I don't blame you for being upset, and I do apologise profusely for
all of the mistakes and delays which contributed to this very
unfortunate series of encounters.
yadda yadda yadda, we're usually much better, honest
We are processing your order now, and your package
should leave our Fulfilment Centre soon.
now that wasn't too hard, was it?
Please accept our apologies for this delivery delay. Although it
certainly cannot make up for the inconvenience this has caused, we
would like to give you a 3.00 GBP gift certificate, for use toward
your next Amazon.co.uk order.
not bad, thankee. don't mind if I do
In addition to our large selection, one of the benefits we'd like to
offer our customers is convenience, and I realise that we have not met
that standard in this case.
I hope that you will give us another opportunity to prove the quality
of our service to you in the future.
Thank you for shopping at Amazon.co.uk
Warmest regards
Pranav Gupta
Customer Service
Amazon.co.uk
yey sarcasm.
Page: