The "Freeola Customer Forum" forum, which includes Retro Game Reviews, has been archived and is now read-only. You cannot post here or create a new thread or review on this forum.
Try to answer these questions.
If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?
Why is the word "dictionary" in the dictionary?
If "con" is the opposite of "pro," then what is the opposite of progress?
Why is a boxing ring square?
Just think how much deeper the ocean would be if sponges didn't live there.
If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?
So what's the speed of dark?
After eating, do amphibians need to wait an hour before getting OUT of the water?
Why don't they just make mouse-flavored cat food?
Why for many does the sun lighten our hair, but darken our skin?
If you're sending someone some Styrofoam, what do you pack it in?
Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?
Do they have reserved parking for non-handicapped people at the Special Olympics?
Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?
If it's tourist season, why can't we shoot them?
Isn't Disney World a people trap operated by a mouse?
Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it?
Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
Since light travels faster than sound, isn't that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak?
How come abbreviated is such a long word?
If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?
Why do you press harder on a remote control when you know the battery is dead?
Why are they called buildings, when they're already finished? Shouldn't they be called builts?
Why are they called apartments, when they're all stuck together?
Why is a person who invests our money called a broker?
Why do banks charge you a "non-sufficient funds fee" on money they already know you don't have?
If the universe is everything, and scientists say that the universe is expanding, what is it expanding into?
If you got into a taxi and the driver started driving backward, would the taxi driver end up owing you money?
Why don't psychics win all of the lotteries?
What would a chair look like if your knees bent the other way?
If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to see it, do the other trees make fun of it?
Why is a carrot more orange than an orange?
When two airplanes almost collide why do they call it a near miss?? It sounds like a near hit to me!!
Do fish get cramps after eating?
Why is bottled lemon juice made with artificial flavors but dish washing liquid made with "real" lemons?
Why are there 5 syllables in the word "monosyllabic"?
Why do they call it the Department of Interior when they are in charge of everything outdoors?
Why do scientists call it research when looking for something new?
If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?
When I erase a word with a pencil, where does it go?
Why is it, when a door is open it's ajar, but when a jar is open, it's not a door?
Tell a man that there are 400 billion stars and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint and he has to touch it.
How come Superman could stop bullets with his chest, but always ducked when someone threw a gun at him?
Why buy a product that it takes 2000 flushes to get rid of?
Why do we wait until a pig is dead to "cure" it?
Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?
Why do we put suits in a garment bag and put garments in a suitcase?
Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
Do Roman paramedics refer to IV's as "4's"?
What do little birdies see when they get knocked unconscious?
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.
If all those psychics know the winning lottery numbers, why are they all still working?
Why do people 25+ hang out on this site, dont they have lives?
If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?
Why is the word "dictionary" in the dictionary?
If "con" is the opposite of "pro," then what is the opposite of progress?
Why is a boxing ring square?
Just think how much deeper the ocean would be if sponges didn't live there.
If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?
So what's the speed of dark?
After eating, do amphibians need to wait an hour before getting OUT of the water?
Why don't they just make mouse-flavored cat food?
Why for many does the sun lighten our hair, but darken our skin?
If you're sending someone some Styrofoam, what do you pack it in?
Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?
Do they have reserved parking for non-handicapped people at the Special Olympics?
Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?
If it's tourist season, why can't we shoot them?
Isn't Disney World a people trap operated by a mouse?
Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it?
Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
Since light travels faster than sound, isn't that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak?
How come abbreviated is such a long word?
If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?
Why do you press harder on a remote control when you know the battery is dead?
Why are they called buildings, when they're already finished? Shouldn't they be called builts?
Why are they called apartments, when they're all stuck together?
Why is a person who invests our money called a broker?
Why do banks charge you a "non-sufficient funds fee" on money they already know you don't have?
If the universe is everything, and scientists say that the universe is expanding, what is it expanding into?
If you got into a taxi and the driver started driving backward, would the taxi driver end up owing you money?
Why don't psychics win all of the lotteries?
What would a chair look like if your knees bent the other way?
If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to see it, do the other trees make fun of it?
Why is a carrot more orange than an orange?
When two airplanes almost collide why do they call it a near miss?? It sounds like a near hit to me!!
Do fish get cramps after eating?
Why is bottled lemon juice made with artificial flavors but dish washing liquid made with "real" lemons?
Why are there 5 syllables in the word "monosyllabic"?
Why do they call it the Department of Interior when they are in charge of everything outdoors?
Why do scientists call it research when looking for something new?
If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?
When I erase a word with a pencil, where does it go?
Why is it, when a door is open it's ajar, but when a jar is open, it's not a door?
Tell a man that there are 400 billion stars and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint and he has to touch it.
How come Superman could stop bullets with his chest, but always ducked when someone threw a gun at him?
Why buy a product that it takes 2000 flushes to get rid of?
Why do we wait until a pig is dead to "cure" it?
Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?
Why do we put suits in a garment bag and put garments in a suitcase?
Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
Do Roman paramedics refer to IV's as "4's"?
What do little birdies see when they get knocked unconscious?
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.
If all those psychics know the winning lottery numbers, why are they all still working?
Why do people 25+ hang out on this site, dont they have lives?
Page:
Grrrr...
Hmmm.. they are so true.. apart from the last. yes us 25+ do have lives however work does get boring.
They hardly the best things ever, are they?
technically the universe isn't everything. It is finite, and could be expanding. At least that's my knowledge.
HA!! I answered one of your questions, which means these questions aren't unanswerable, which means this topic is pointless...
But then, we all knew that, didn't we?
EDIT- you can only shoot tartan wearers in York, with a crossbow (or longbow?) and after 10 o clock at night
HA!! I answered one of your questions, which means these questions aren't unanswerable, which means this topic is pointless...
But then, we all knew that, didn't we?
EDIT- you can only shoot tartan wearers in York, with a crossbow (or longbow?) and after 10 o clock at night
dckdck42069 wrote:
> What the **ll is that? "Spamkitten"?
HELL HELL HELL.
> What the **ll is that? "Spamkitten"?
HELL HELL HELL.
dckdck42069 wrote:
> Try to answer these questions.
>
> If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that
> considered a hostage situation? depends on wether they all agreed or not realy
>
> Why is the word "dictionary" in the dictionary? so idiots know what to look for when they need to look somthing up
of course they'd need to look up the word to find out what they needed to look it up in 1st which would kinda defeat the object
>
> If "con" is the opposite of "pro," then what is
> the opposite of progress? One entry found for congress.
Main Entry: con·gress
Pronunciation: 'kä[ng]-gr&s also -r&s, British usually 'kä[ng]-"gres
Function: noun
Etymology: Latin congressus, from congredi to come together, from com- + gradi to go -- more at GRADE
1 a : the act or action of coming together and meeting b : COITUS
2 : a formal meeting of delegates for discussion and usually action on some question
3 : the supreme legislative body of a nation and especially of a republic
4 : an association usually made up of delegates from constituent organizations
5 : a single meeting or session of a group
- con·gres·sio·nal /k&n-'gresh-n&l, kän-, -'gre-sh&-n&l/ adjective
- con·gres·sio·nal·ly adverb
>
> Why is a boxing ring square? The name ring is an atavism from when contests were fought in a roughly drawn circle on the ground, the name ring continued with the Jack Broughton rules (1743) specifying a small circle in the centre of the fight area where the boxers met at the start of each round. The first square ring was introduced by the Pugilistic Society in 1838, the ring was specified as 24 feet square and bound by two ropes.
Retrieved from "http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boxing_ring"
>
> Just think how much deeper the ocean would be if sponges didn't live
> there. venice would be a damn sight wetter that's for sure
>
> If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?johnson and johnson
>
> So what's the speed of dark? faster than the speed of light that's how it gets out of the way so quickly when you turn your tourch on
>
> After eating, do amphibians need to wait an hour before getting OUT
> of the water? yes
>
> Why don't they just make mouse-flavored cat food? most cats don't actualy eat mice they just play with them and the little buggers die of heart failiur
>
> Why for many does the sun lighten our hair, but darken our skin?different pigmentation
>
> If you're sending someone some Styrofoam, what do you pack it in? a box
>
> Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections? you wouldn't want the wound getting infected now would you
>
> Do they have reserved parking for non-handicapped people at the
> Special Olympics? yes it's at the back well away from the entrance
>
> Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny? they tend to leave the noses
>
>
> If it's tourist season, why can't we shoot them? if your a citizen of york you can actualy shoot people wearing tarten with a longbow if they come within your city limits
>
> Isn't Disney World a people trap operated by a mouse? no but walt realy liked children
>
> Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an
> "s" in it? i blame the dutch
>
> Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle? because it's oxigenated and needs to have the oxygen squeezed out of it befor it starts to bond
>
> Since light travels faster than sound, isn't that why some people
> appear bright until you hear them speak? the same could be said for the opposite of that too
>
> How come abbreviated is such a long word? the wombles did it
>
> If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as
> cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be? very
>
> Why do you press harder on a remote control when you know the battery
> is dead? stress
>
> Why are they called buildings, when they're already finished?
> Shouldn't they be called builts? yeah but it dosn't sound as snappy does it
>
> Why are they called apartments, when they're all stuck together? true then should be called compartments
>
> Why is a person who invests our money called a broker? ever heard of black wednesday
>
> Why do banks charge you a "non-sufficient funds fee" on
> money they already know you don't have? because they make money getting you into dept and having you pay back over a number of years
>
> If the universe is everything, and scientists say that the universe
> is expanding, what is it expanding into? nothing
>
> If you got into a taxi and the driver started driving backward, would
> the taxi driver end up owing you money? nope
>
> Why don't psychics win all of the lotteries? ask one
>
> What would a chair look like if your knees bent the other way?realy realy cool
>
> If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to see it, do the
> other trees make fun of it? nah they have a more sophisticated sense of humour than that
>
> Why is a carrot more orange than an orange? are they
>
> When two airplanes almost collide why do they call it a near miss??
> It sounds like a near hit to me!! that's the dutch again
>
> Do fish get cramps after eating? yep
>
> Why is bottled lemon juice made with artificial flavors but dish
> washing liquid made with "real" lemons? lemons taste nasty
>
> Why are there 5 syllables in the word "monosyllabic"? irony
>
> Why do they call it the Department of Interior when they are in
> charge of everything outdoors? they are all realy interior designers
>
> Why do scientists call it research when looking for something new? hhmmmmm
>
> If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat? dolphin freindly tuna
>
> When I erase a word with a pencil, where does it go? under your bed to await revenge
>
> Why is it, when a door is open it's ajar, but when a jar is open,
> it's not a door? the dutch did it
>
> Tell a man that there are 400 billion stars and he'll believe you.
> Tell him a bench has wet paint and he has to touch it. we are stubbern like that
>
> How come Superman could stop bullets with his chest, but always
> ducked when someone threw a gun at him? 'cause he's a girly wuss and i could take him with one hand tied behind my back
>
> Why buy a product that it takes 2000 flushes to get rid of? you've eaten my chilli too then
>
> Why do we wait until a pig is dead to "cure" it? they hate pigs
>
> Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them? yeah but we put them on the floor afterwards and that sin't clean
>
> Why do we put suits in a garment bag and put garments in a suitcase? huh
>
>
> Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle? why ask this twice
>
> Do Roman paramedics refer to IV's as "4's"? no they ask for boiling pitch and a hacksaw
>
> What do little birdies see when they get knocked unconscious?well daffy always saw stars
>
> Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard? he's a wus
>
> I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the
> self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the
> purpose. no it just makes you look a fool
>
> If all those psychics know the winning lottery numbers, why are they
> all still working? well on the charmed ones the ticket just vanished when she tried it because they arn't supposed to gain from there talents
>
> Why do people 25+ hang out on this site, dont they have lives? having asnwered all theses questions i have to concur
i have no life
> Try to answer these questions.
>
> If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that
> considered a hostage situation? depends on wether they all agreed or not realy
>
> Why is the word "dictionary" in the dictionary? so idiots know what to look for when they need to look somthing up
of course they'd need to look up the word to find out what they needed to look it up in 1st which would kinda defeat the object
>
> If "con" is the opposite of "pro," then what is
> the opposite of progress? One entry found for congress.
Main Entry: con·gress
Pronunciation: 'kä[ng]-gr&s also -r&s, British usually 'kä[ng]-"gres
Function: noun
Etymology: Latin congressus, from congredi to come together, from com- + gradi to go -- more at GRADE
1 a : the act or action of coming together and meeting b : COITUS
2 : a formal meeting of delegates for discussion and usually action on some question
3 : the supreme legislative body of a nation and especially of a republic
4 : an association usually made up of delegates from constituent organizations
5 : a single meeting or session of a group
- con·gres·sio·nal /k&n-'gresh-n&l, kän-, -'gre-sh&-n&l/ adjective
- con·gres·sio·nal·ly adverb
>
> Why is a boxing ring square? The name ring is an atavism from when contests were fought in a roughly drawn circle on the ground, the name ring continued with the Jack Broughton rules (1743) specifying a small circle in the centre of the fight area where the boxers met at the start of each round. The first square ring was introduced by the Pugilistic Society in 1838, the ring was specified as 24 feet square and bound by two ropes.
Retrieved from "http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boxing_ring"
>
> Just think how much deeper the ocean would be if sponges didn't live
> there. venice would be a damn sight wetter that's for sure
>
> If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?johnson and johnson
>
> So what's the speed of dark? faster than the speed of light that's how it gets out of the way so quickly when you turn your tourch on
>
> After eating, do amphibians need to wait an hour before getting OUT
> of the water? yes
>
> Why don't they just make mouse-flavored cat food? most cats don't actualy eat mice they just play with them and the little buggers die of heart failiur
>
> Why for many does the sun lighten our hair, but darken our skin?different pigmentation
>
> If you're sending someone some Styrofoam, what do you pack it in? a box
>
> Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections? you wouldn't want the wound getting infected now would you
>
> Do they have reserved parking for non-handicapped people at the
> Special Olympics? yes it's at the back well away from the entrance
>
> Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny? they tend to leave the noses
>
>
> If it's tourist season, why can't we shoot them? if your a citizen of york you can actualy shoot people wearing tarten with a longbow if they come within your city limits
>
> Isn't Disney World a people trap operated by a mouse? no but walt realy liked children
>
> Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an
> "s" in it? i blame the dutch
>
> Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle? because it's oxigenated and needs to have the oxygen squeezed out of it befor it starts to bond
>
> Since light travels faster than sound, isn't that why some people
> appear bright until you hear them speak? the same could be said for the opposite of that too
>
> How come abbreviated is such a long word? the wombles did it
>
> If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as
> cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be? very
>
> Why do you press harder on a remote control when you know the battery
> is dead? stress
>
> Why are they called buildings, when they're already finished?
> Shouldn't they be called builts? yeah but it dosn't sound as snappy does it
>
> Why are they called apartments, when they're all stuck together? true then should be called compartments
>
> Why is a person who invests our money called a broker? ever heard of black wednesday
>
> Why do banks charge you a "non-sufficient funds fee" on
> money they already know you don't have? because they make money getting you into dept and having you pay back over a number of years
>
> If the universe is everything, and scientists say that the universe
> is expanding, what is it expanding into? nothing
>
> If you got into a taxi and the driver started driving backward, would
> the taxi driver end up owing you money? nope
>
> Why don't psychics win all of the lotteries? ask one
>
> What would a chair look like if your knees bent the other way?realy realy cool
>
> If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to see it, do the
> other trees make fun of it? nah they have a more sophisticated sense of humour than that
>
> Why is a carrot more orange than an orange? are they
>
> When two airplanes almost collide why do they call it a near miss??
> It sounds like a near hit to me!! that's the dutch again
>
> Do fish get cramps after eating? yep
>
> Why is bottled lemon juice made with artificial flavors but dish
> washing liquid made with "real" lemons? lemons taste nasty
>
> Why are there 5 syllables in the word "monosyllabic"? irony
>
> Why do they call it the Department of Interior when they are in
> charge of everything outdoors? they are all realy interior designers
>
> Why do scientists call it research when looking for something new? hhmmmmm
>
> If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat? dolphin freindly tuna
>
> When I erase a word with a pencil, where does it go? under your bed to await revenge
>
> Why is it, when a door is open it's ajar, but when a jar is open,
> it's not a door? the dutch did it
>
> Tell a man that there are 400 billion stars and he'll believe you.
> Tell him a bench has wet paint and he has to touch it. we are stubbern like that
>
> How come Superman could stop bullets with his chest, but always
> ducked when someone threw a gun at him? 'cause he's a girly wuss and i could take him with one hand tied behind my back
>
> Why buy a product that it takes 2000 flushes to get rid of? you've eaten my chilli too then
>
> Why do we wait until a pig is dead to "cure" it? they hate pigs
>
> Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them? yeah but we put them on the floor afterwards and that sin't clean
>
> Why do we put suits in a garment bag and put garments in a suitcase? huh
>
>
> Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle? why ask this twice
>
> Do Roman paramedics refer to IV's as "4's"? no they ask for boiling pitch and a hacksaw
>
> What do little birdies see when they get knocked unconscious?well daffy always saw stars
>
> Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard? he's a wus
>
> I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the
> self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the
> purpose. no it just makes you look a fool
>
> If all those psychics know the winning lottery numbers, why are they
> all still working? well on the charmed ones the ticket just vanished when she tried it because they arn't supposed to gain from there talents
>
> Why do people 25+ hang out on this site, dont they have lives? having asnwered all theses questions i have to concur
i have no life
Some don't even make since.
about 5-10 minutes.
YOu said they wer eunanserable.
I answered all of them.
YOu said they wer eunanserable.
I answered all of them.
They were rhetorical questions, not meant to be answered. How much time did you spend on that?
dckdck42069 wrote:
> Try to answer these questions.
>
> If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that
> considered a hostage situation?
Not unless the other personalities are agaisnt it
> Why is the word "dictionary" in the dictionary?
Because it explaisn what one is
> If "con" is the opposite of "pro,"
It's not really, it's just a phrase
then what is
> the opposite of progress?
You know what, I don't know. Backwards
> Why is a boxing ring square?
Because if it was a ring, there would be no red and blue corners.
> Just think how much deeper the ocean would be if sponges didn't live
> there.
OK.
> If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?
Bottles
> So what's the speed of dark?
Nothing, because dark doesn't travel at a speed, it's what you get if there's no light, funnily enough.
> After eating, do amphibians need to wait an hour before getting OUT
> of the water?
What if they eat whilst out of the water, like a frog?
> Why don't they just make mouse-flavored cat food?
Because it's harder to catch mice and make meat from them than it is to kill a cow?
> Why for many does the sun lighten our hair, but darken our skin?
Because the thingies under our skin are being burned, but your hair is trying to reflect the light.
> If you're sending someone some Styrofoam, what do you pack it in?
A box.
> Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?
They don't.
> Do they have reserved parking for non-handicapped people at the
> Special Olympics?
No.
> Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?
No
> If it's tourist season, why can't we shoot them?
Because it's illegal
> Isn't Disney World a people trap operated by a mouse?
No
> Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an
> "s" in it?
Probably Gods.
> Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
Because it's not being dried up by air because there's less air than glue in the bottle
> Since light travels faster than sound, isn't that why some people
> appear bright until you hear them speak?
No
> How come abbreviated is such a long word?
To contrast abbriviations
> If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as
> cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?
Anyone who says "twice as cold" is an idiot. I can just imagine it "And tommrrow, in the Highlands, it'll be twice as cold as it was today), but an educated guess would tell me approximately.
In Celcius though, I'd say approximately -133.5 degrees celcius
> Why do you press harder on a remote control when you know the battery
> is dead?
I don't, I may press more in case the TV did't pick up the signal, but harder?
> Why are they called buildings, when they're already finished?
> Shouldn't they be called builts?
Because their name isn't a verb, it's a noun
> Why are they called apartments, when they're all stuck together?
Dunno, I didn't come up with the name
> Why is a person who invests our money called a broker?
It's short for stock brokers
> Why do banks charge you a "non-sufficient funds fee" on
> money they already know you don't have?
Ask a bank manager
> If the universe is everything, and scientists say that the universe
> is expanding, what is it expanding into?
Everything
> If you got into a taxi and the driver started driving backward, would
> the taxi driver end up owing you money?
No, it's charged on the time spent in teh taxi, not how far you go or where you go, so the faster they go, the less they charge
> Why don't psychics win all of the lotteries?
Maybe they do
> What would a chair look like if your knees bent the other way?
Probably like a bed on a diagonal, so that you don't have to bend them, or you'd just sit on your calves rather than your bum.
> If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to see it, do the
> other trees make fun of it?
Yes.
> Why is a carrot more orange than an orange?
Define what colour orange is.
> When two airplanes almost collide why do they call it a near miss??
> It sounds like a near hit to me!!
Becaus ethey were near each otehr, but they missed
> Do fish get cramps after eating?
No
> Why is bottled lemon juice made with artificial flavors but dish
> washing liquid made with "real" lemons?
Because the artificial flavours give it a better taste, and the real lemons give it a nicer smell, and teh citric acid kills germs.
> Why are there 5 syllables in the word "monosyllabic"?
Because there's more than 4 and less than 6?
> Why do they call it the Department of Interior when they are in
> charge of everything outdoors?
Because it sounds funky.
> Why do scientists call it research when looking for something new?
They're searching thrugh old stuff to put it together and work it out.
> If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?
Food
> When I erase a word with a pencil, where does it go?
What do you mean erase it with a pencil? You mean erase something written with a pencil? That's easy, look at the little pits of eraser that fall off, they're all black becasue that's where it went. Shock horror
> Why is it, when a door is open it's ajar, but when a jar is open,
> it's not a door?
Because a jar is when it's slightly open, and more than just a door can be ajar, a window, for example. Plus, adoor sounds retarded.
> Tell a man that there are 400 billion stars and he'll believe you.
> Tell him a bench has wet paint and he has to touch it.
Idon't have to touch it. But I'm just a boy. Maybe i'll get get retarded as I grow up.
> How come Superman could stop bullets with his chest, but always
> ducked when someone threw a gun at him?
He doesn't want to hurt the gun
> Why buy a product that it takes 2000 flushes to get rid of?
You don't want rid of it?
> Why do we wait until a pig is dead to "cure" it?
It's tastier.
> Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?
Because they get wet, and the water makes it smell. We wash them so they don't smell.
> Why do we put suits in a garment bag and put garments in a suitcase?
A suit is a garment. Shock horror.
> Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
We've been here already
> Do Roman paramedics refer to IV's as "4's"?
No
> What do little birdies see when they get knocked unconscious?
Nothing.
> Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
Because he's baby faced, not everyone gets a beard you know
> I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the
> self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the
> purpose.
That's not a question
> If all those psychics know the winning lottery numbers, why are they
> all still working?
Maybe they've not won yet, and are waiting till they know they cna wins 50 million and be the only winner
> Why do people 25+ hang out on this site, dont they have lives?
Yes. But they come for me
> Try to answer these questions.
>
> If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that
> considered a hostage situation?
Not unless the other personalities are agaisnt it
> Why is the word "dictionary" in the dictionary?
Because it explaisn what one is
> If "con" is the opposite of "pro,"
It's not really, it's just a phrase
then what is
> the opposite of progress?
You know what, I don't know. Backwards
> Why is a boxing ring square?
Because if it was a ring, there would be no red and blue corners.
> Just think how much deeper the ocean would be if sponges didn't live
> there.
OK.
> If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?
Bottles
> So what's the speed of dark?
Nothing, because dark doesn't travel at a speed, it's what you get if there's no light, funnily enough.
> After eating, do amphibians need to wait an hour before getting OUT
> of the water?
What if they eat whilst out of the water, like a frog?
> Why don't they just make mouse-flavored cat food?
Because it's harder to catch mice and make meat from them than it is to kill a cow?
> Why for many does the sun lighten our hair, but darken our skin?
Because the thingies under our skin are being burned, but your hair is trying to reflect the light.
> If you're sending someone some Styrofoam, what do you pack it in?
A box.
> Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?
They don't.
> Do they have reserved parking for non-handicapped people at the
> Special Olympics?
No.
> Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?
No
> If it's tourist season, why can't we shoot them?
Because it's illegal
> Isn't Disney World a people trap operated by a mouse?
No
> Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an
> "s" in it?
Probably Gods.
> Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
Because it's not being dried up by air because there's less air than glue in the bottle
> Since light travels faster than sound, isn't that why some people
> appear bright until you hear them speak?
No
> How come abbreviated is such a long word?
To contrast abbriviations
> If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as
> cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?
Anyone who says "twice as cold" is an idiot. I can just imagine it "And tommrrow, in the Highlands, it'll be twice as cold as it was today), but an educated guess would tell me approximately.
In Celcius though, I'd say approximately -133.5 degrees celcius
> Why do you press harder on a remote control when you know the battery
> is dead?
I don't, I may press more in case the TV did't pick up the signal, but harder?
> Why are they called buildings, when they're already finished?
> Shouldn't they be called builts?
Because their name isn't a verb, it's a noun
> Why are they called apartments, when they're all stuck together?
Dunno, I didn't come up with the name
> Why is a person who invests our money called a broker?
It's short for stock brokers
> Why do banks charge you a "non-sufficient funds fee" on
> money they already know you don't have?
Ask a bank manager
> If the universe is everything, and scientists say that the universe
> is expanding, what is it expanding into?
Everything
> If you got into a taxi and the driver started driving backward, would
> the taxi driver end up owing you money?
No, it's charged on the time spent in teh taxi, not how far you go or where you go, so the faster they go, the less they charge
> Why don't psychics win all of the lotteries?
Maybe they do
> What would a chair look like if your knees bent the other way?
Probably like a bed on a diagonal, so that you don't have to bend them, or you'd just sit on your calves rather than your bum.
> If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to see it, do the
> other trees make fun of it?
Yes.
> Why is a carrot more orange than an orange?
Define what colour orange is.
> When two airplanes almost collide why do they call it a near miss??
> It sounds like a near hit to me!!
Becaus ethey were near each otehr, but they missed
> Do fish get cramps after eating?
No
> Why is bottled lemon juice made with artificial flavors but dish
> washing liquid made with "real" lemons?
Because the artificial flavours give it a better taste, and the real lemons give it a nicer smell, and teh citric acid kills germs.
> Why are there 5 syllables in the word "monosyllabic"?
Because there's more than 4 and less than 6?
> Why do they call it the Department of Interior when they are in
> charge of everything outdoors?
Because it sounds funky.
> Why do scientists call it research when looking for something new?
They're searching thrugh old stuff to put it together and work it out.
> If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?
Food
> When I erase a word with a pencil, where does it go?
What do you mean erase it with a pencil? You mean erase something written with a pencil? That's easy, look at the little pits of eraser that fall off, they're all black becasue that's where it went. Shock horror
> Why is it, when a door is open it's ajar, but when a jar is open,
> it's not a door?
Because a jar is when it's slightly open, and more than just a door can be ajar, a window, for example. Plus, adoor sounds retarded.
> Tell a man that there are 400 billion stars and he'll believe you.
> Tell him a bench has wet paint and he has to touch it.
Idon't have to touch it. But I'm just a boy. Maybe i'll get get retarded as I grow up.
> How come Superman could stop bullets with his chest, but always
> ducked when someone threw a gun at him?
He doesn't want to hurt the gun
> Why buy a product that it takes 2000 flushes to get rid of?
You don't want rid of it?
> Why do we wait until a pig is dead to "cure" it?
It's tastier.
> Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?
Because they get wet, and the water makes it smell. We wash them so they don't smell.
> Why do we put suits in a garment bag and put garments in a suitcase?
A suit is a garment. Shock horror.
> Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
We've been here already
> Do Roman paramedics refer to IV's as "4's"?
No
> What do little birdies see when they get knocked unconscious?
Nothing.
> Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
Because he's baby faced, not everyone gets a beard you know
> I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the
> self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the
> purpose.
That's not a question
> If all those psychics know the winning lottery numbers, why are they
> all still working?
Maybe they've not won yet, and are waiting till they know they cna wins 50 million and be the only winner
> Why do people 25+ hang out on this site, dont they have lives?
Yes. But they come for me
Page: