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"Telling friends of an Illness"

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Wed 13/10/04 at 21:21
Regular
Posts: 23,216
I've always had problems with this... I never know what to believe.

Is it that important to tell your friends, and family of course, that you're ill?

I've been diagnosed with schizophrenia, but how do you go about telling a friend that? It doesn't exactly spring up in conversation.. I guess they deserve to know, but I think paranoia reminds me that it's not really worth it, it doesn't change who I am or what I do, but it may affect the way they see you.

With stuff like this before, I've tried to gather all my friends in one place and telling everyone at once.. I've tried telling nobody, which wasn't the greatest road to go down.. and also just a select few, which is easier but still makes me wonder about the rest.

Horrible horrible thing to munder over. I know the best thing is 'if it bothers you then say' etc.. I'm just interested in what you'd do.

Would something like that get to you? Would you feel pressured to say? Or would you just carry on, not really caring of it?

I have a few close, personal friends that I can discuss this with.. but the problem is, I'm making one or two new friends.. do they deserve to know? I don't know, it confuses and scares me. I'm more than likely worrying over nothing here mind.

So what would you do?
Wed 13/10/04 at 22:14
Regular
Posts: 23,216
Yes dear, do keep up.
Wed 13/10/04 at 22:22
Regular
"For One Night Only"
Posts: 3,773
I can't say I know what your illness does, so I can't assume it's too bad. It's like the hole I have in my heart. My friends always have unpredictable reactions when I tell them, it's just a case of casually bringing it up. Just not too casual.

I'd be more afraid of getting cancer or an STD.
Wed 13/10/04 at 22:37
Regular
Posts: 11,038
My theory would be, if it's somehow going to pop up in a bad way later inlife with your ffriends (I'm not too proficient in knowledge about it, so who knows), then you should tell tehm.
If they're never going to suspect anything, why worry them?
Wed 13/10/04 at 22:47
Regular
"Excommunicated"
Posts: 23,284
Personally I don't think I would have such a big deal.

I'd tell my family easily enough, tell a few close friends who i know would treat me the same. Then play it by ear with new people.

If I was your friend I'd probably be glad you had the confidence to tell me and stuff.
Wed 13/10/04 at 22:53
Regular
Posts: 15,681
As much as it contradicts some of my posts on here, I hate talking about me. Especially to those I care about most.

So as much as I advise you tell those who care about you, I can understand you not doing so.
Thu 14/10/04 at 09:08
Regular
"AkaSeraphim"
Posts: 9,397
Just tell them straight out, i dont think it is something that will just pop up in a conversation. Remember their your friends. They may not even know about it so you might have to explain it to them, Be honest about it. Ok so you might get a few reactions at first but if there your true friends it wont really effect the way they are with you, they will probably forget you ever told them after a few days.
Thu 14/10/04 at 09:12
Regular
"Orbiting Uranus"
Posts: 5,665
One of the Ogre's Housmates in our final year at Uni had Schizophrenia. He was a really nice guy. He was completely honest about it and would discuss it with is. I remember him saying that he didn't like to take his medication because although he knew he shouldn't be hearing voices, and they were in his head, the voices said nice things to him, and he didn't want rid of them.

Anyway, my advice for anyone in the same situation would be to tell people the truth, especially people important to you, and explain exactly what you experiance, and what your going through.
Thu 14/10/04 at 13:02
"Darth Vader 3442321"
Posts: 4,031
I agree with Ros.

Having a mental illness isn't such a pariah these days, though of course some people will never understand and somehow assume that it's the "sufferer's" fault for "being that way".

If you look at the situation from another perspective, how would you react if someone you knew told you that they had a mental illness? Or if they didn't tell you and found out from someone else?

I'd rather know why my friend was acting the way thay they were, than simply presuming something and defining them by a misconception. I.e. my mate's a great guy but sometimes he's an odd fooker.
Thu 14/10/04 at 13:15
Regular
"Pouch Ape"
Posts: 14,499
It's a good way of filtering out the good friends from the bads ones...and the ones that'll give you sympathy sex. Unless your illness makes your knob fall off. But then there's always the idiot contingent that might bully you because of it. At the end of the day, there's no excuse for not being yourself - an individual. Well, several individuals, but you know what I mean....
Thu 14/10/04 at 13:18
Regular
"smile, it's free"
Posts: 6,460
If someone told me they'd been diagnosed with it, I'd actually find it really interesting rather than thinking they're weird.

And besides, as long as you're 'interesting-weird' rather than 'scary-weird' you have nothing to worry about by teling people anyway. If they haven't worked it out already by knowing you, chances are they're not going to have a huge reaction.

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