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"Aha! How I laughed."

At a domestic incident with a colleague who was having a bad day and was in a foul mood. After talking to the male involved for a few seconds, well, him swearing and shouting at us is what it consisted of actually, it was clear that he had the mental ability of a soiled piece of toilet paper.

My colleague: Listen mate, stop swearing.

Inbred cretin: Don’t call me mate! I aint your kittening, (remember that word?) Mate!

My colleague: Ok, what’s your name then?

Inbred cretin: Tony.

My colleague: Ok, I’ll call you Tony then, shall I?

Inbred cretin: I don’t care! *Snarl* Call me what the kitten you want!

My colleague: Ok mate, we’ve been called here for…

Inbred cretin: You kittening called them, didn’t you? *Points at his wife* You kittening stupid biatch!

Crying woman: I just want to go and stay with my sister for a while.

Inbred cretin: You aint going nowhere!

Me: Oh yes she is, mate.

Inbred cretin: No, none of you are going anywhere.

My colleague: So you’re going to false imprison all of us? You don’t want to do that. That will just mean you’ll be in more trouble then you are at the moment.

Inbred cretin: Who’s going to stop me? You lot? You’ll need a lot more of you then there is!

At this point he steps forward and starts to jab his finger into his wife’s shoulder.

My colleague then said, “right, I’ve had enough”. He grabbed the arm that was doing the jabbing and put on a cracking arm lock. I took the other and he was escorted out of the house. He was arrested to prevent any further breach of the peace and put in the van, where he then sat and cried for 30 minutes while his wife and kid left to go to her sister’s house.

He was a numpty.

Wouldn't it be a cracking kittening coincidence if you had to arrest one of us one day! Well it would...

I like how you refer to this Tony as 'Inbred Cretin' and not 'Man' or 'Hostile Male' :D

Tell it how it is I suppose!

Or was it sarcasm?

Echo...echo

Why, do you need somebody to hold?

I'm so glad you're here.

It is like the "stranger" method, but involves a kitten...

It is an old post I wrote where the word Fcuk was replaced with kitten.

I'm pleased to be able to say that I have never heard the word "kittening" before in my life. What does it mean?

nice one mate. any chance you could've filled the back of the van with some kind of poisonous gas while he was in there?

people like that make me so angry, full of their own s**t and bullying women.. nice >:-(

Some people are kittening idiots, shouldnt be allowed near other people.

The bit that made me laugh was the name thing, just in case you thought it was the way he was easily restrained in a belittling way.