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OK, I'll start (on a topical note)...
What do you call a donkey with three legs?
A wonkey
What do you call a donkey with three legs and one-eye?
A winky-wonky
...I dare someone to do worse =P
What do you call a donkey with three legs?
A wonkey
What do you call a donkey with three legs and one-eye?
A winky-wonky
...I dare someone to do worse =P
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Your mama''s glasses are so thick that when she lookes on a map she can see people waving.
A blind man walks into a store with his seeing eye dog. All of a sudden, he picks up the leash and begins swinging the dog over his head. The manager runs up to the man and asks, "What are you doing?!!" The blind man replies, "Just looking around."
A man goes to a bar with his dog. He goes up to the bar and asks for a drink. The bartender says "You can't bring that dog in here!" The guy, without missing a beat, says "This is my seeing-eye dog." "Oh man, " the bartender says, "I'm sorry, here, the first one's on me." The man takes his drink and goes to a table near the door.
Another guy walks in the bar with a Chihuahua. The first guys sees him, stops him and says "You can't bring that dog in here unless you tell him it's a seeing-eye dog." The second man graciously thanks the first man and continues to the bar. He asks for a drink. The bartender says "Hey, you can't bring that dog in here!"
The second man replies "This is my seeing-eye dog." The bartender says, "No, I don't think so. They do not have Chiwauas as seeing-eye dogs." The man pauses for a half-second and replies "What?!?! They gave me a Chihuahua?!?"
A blind man walks into a store with his seeing eye dog. All of a sudden, he picks up the leash and begins swinging the dog over his head. The manager runs up to the man and asks, "What are you doing?!!" The blind man replies, "Just looking around."
A man goes to a bar with his dog. He goes up to the bar and asks for a drink. The bartender says "You can't bring that dog in here!" The guy, without missing a beat, says "This is my seeing-eye dog." "Oh man, " the bartender says, "I'm sorry, here, the first one's on me." The man takes his drink and goes to a table near the door.
Another guy walks in the bar with a Chihuahua. The first guys sees him, stops him and says "You can't bring that dog in here unless you tell him it's a seeing-eye dog." The second man graciously thanks the first man and continues to the bar. He asks for a drink. The bartender says "Hey, you can't bring that dog in here!"
The second man replies "This is my seeing-eye dog." The bartender says, "No, I don't think so. They do not have Chiwauas as seeing-eye dogs." The man pauses for a half-second and replies "What?!?! They gave me a Chihuahua?!?"
what's the difference between Batman and a scouser?
Batman can go all night without robin
Batman can go all night without robin
Disgraceful.
Consider yourself reporterd, you low life!
Consider yourself reporterd, you low life!
Squall wrote:
> Scotsman, Englishman and an Irishman....
>
> Are driving in the desert. The car suddenly stops and breaks down.
> They get out and decide to walk a few miles hoping to find a city.
> They get lost and tired, dehydrated and hungry. They sat down, each
> looked at each other and the Englishman said to the Scotsman and the
> Irishman "What did everybody bring from the car?"
>
> The Scotsman replied "I brought food incase we got
> hungry".
>
> The Englishman replied" I brought food incase we got
> dehydrated"
>
> The Irishman replied "I brought the car door incase we get too
> hot we can roll down the window".
Racist scum.
Reported.
> Scotsman, Englishman and an Irishman....
>
> Are driving in the desert. The car suddenly stops and breaks down.
> They get out and decide to walk a few miles hoping to find a city.
> They get lost and tired, dehydrated and hungry. They sat down, each
> looked at each other and the Englishman said to the Scotsman and the
> Irishman "What did everybody bring from the car?"
>
> The Scotsman replied "I brought food incase we got
> hungry".
>
> The Englishman replied" I brought food incase we got
> dehydrated"
>
> The Irishman replied "I brought the car door incase we get too
> hot we can roll down the window".
Racist scum.
Reported.
A man and his girlfriend walking along the road.
A genie appears and says "i will give you each one wish."
The woman wishes for huge breasts. The genie clicks his fingers and voila, she has huge breasts.
The man wishes that his d!ck would touch the floor.
So the genie cut off the mans legs.
A genie appears and says "i will give you each one wish."
The woman wishes for huge breasts. The genie clicks his fingers and voila, she has huge breasts.
The man wishes that his d!ck would touch the floor.
So the genie cut off the mans legs.
Scotsman, Englishman and an Irishman....
Are driving in the desert. The car suddenly stops and breaks down.
They get out and decide to walk a few miles hoping to find a city. They get lost and tired, dehydrated and hungry. They sat down, each looked at each other and the Englishman said to the Scotsman and the Irishman "What did everybody bring from the car?"
The Scotsman replied "I brought food incase we got hungry".
The Englishman replied" I brought food incase we got dehydrated"
The Irishman replied "I brought the car door incase we get too hot we can roll down the window".
Are driving in the desert. The car suddenly stops and breaks down.
They get out and decide to walk a few miles hoping to find a city. They get lost and tired, dehydrated and hungry. They sat down, each looked at each other and the Englishman said to the Scotsman and the Irishman "What did everybody bring from the car?"
The Scotsman replied "I brought food incase we got hungry".
The Englishman replied" I brought food incase we got dehydrated"
The Irishman replied "I brought the car door incase we get too hot we can roll down the window".
Long, I know, but what the hell:
Cinderella was now 75 years old. After a fulfilling life with the now dead Prince, she happily sat upon her rocking chair, watching the world go by from her front porch, with a cat called Alan for companionship.
One sunny afternoon, out of nowhere, appeared the Fairy Godmother. Cinderella said: 'Fairy Godmother, what are you doing here after all these years?'
The Fairy Godmother replied: 'Well Cinderella, since you have lived a good, wholesome life since we last met, I have decided to grant you 3 wishes. Is there anything for which your heart still yearns?'
Cinderella is taken aback, overjoyed and after some thoughtful consideration and almost under her breath she uttered her first wish. 'I wish I was wealthy beyond comprehension.' Instantly her rocking chair was turned into solid gold. Cinderella was stunned.
Cinderella said 'Oh thank you, Fairy Godmother!' The Fairy Godmother replied 'It is the least I can do. What is your second wish?' Cinderella looked down at her frail body and said: 'I wish I was young and full of the beauty of youth again.'
At once, her wish having been desired, became reality, and her beautiful youthful visage had returned. Cinderella felt stirrings inside her that had been dormant for years and long forgotten vigour and vitality began to course through her very soul. Then the Fairy Godmother spoke again: 'You have one more wish, what shall you have?'
Cinderella looked over to Alan, who was now quivering in the corner with fear. 'I wish you to transform my old cat, Alan, into a beautiful and handsome young man.' Magically, Alan suddenly underwent so fundamental a change in his biologicial make up, that when he stoof before her, he was a boy, so beautiful the like of which she nor the world had ever seen, so fair indeed that birds begun to fall from the sky at his feet.
The Fairy Godmother said: 'Congratulations Cinderella! Enjoy your new life.' With a blazing shock of bright blue electricity, she was gone.
For a few moments, Alan and Cinderella looked into each other's eyes. Cinderella sat, breathless, gazing at the most stunningly perfect boy she had ever seen. Then Alan walked over to Cinderella, who sat transfixed in her rocking chair, and held her close in his muscular arms.
He leant close to her ear, and into her ear breathed as much as whispered, blowing her golden hair with his warm breath, 'I bet you regret having my balls chopped off now, don't you?'
Cinderella was now 75 years old. After a fulfilling life with the now dead Prince, she happily sat upon her rocking chair, watching the world go by from her front porch, with a cat called Alan for companionship.
One sunny afternoon, out of nowhere, appeared the Fairy Godmother. Cinderella said: 'Fairy Godmother, what are you doing here after all these years?'
The Fairy Godmother replied: 'Well Cinderella, since you have lived a good, wholesome life since we last met, I have decided to grant you 3 wishes. Is there anything for which your heart still yearns?'
Cinderella is taken aback, overjoyed and after some thoughtful consideration and almost under her breath she uttered her first wish. 'I wish I was wealthy beyond comprehension.' Instantly her rocking chair was turned into solid gold. Cinderella was stunned.
Cinderella said 'Oh thank you, Fairy Godmother!' The Fairy Godmother replied 'It is the least I can do. What is your second wish?' Cinderella looked down at her frail body and said: 'I wish I was young and full of the beauty of youth again.'
At once, her wish having been desired, became reality, and her beautiful youthful visage had returned. Cinderella felt stirrings inside her that had been dormant for years and long forgotten vigour and vitality began to course through her very soul. Then the Fairy Godmother spoke again: 'You have one more wish, what shall you have?'
Cinderella looked over to Alan, who was now quivering in the corner with fear. 'I wish you to transform my old cat, Alan, into a beautiful and handsome young man.' Magically, Alan suddenly underwent so fundamental a change in his biologicial make up, that when he stoof before her, he was a boy, so beautiful the like of which she nor the world had ever seen, so fair indeed that birds begun to fall from the sky at his feet.
The Fairy Godmother said: 'Congratulations Cinderella! Enjoy your new life.' With a blazing shock of bright blue electricity, she was gone.
For a few moments, Alan and Cinderella looked into each other's eyes. Cinderella sat, breathless, gazing at the most stunningly perfect boy she had ever seen. Then Alan walked over to Cinderella, who sat transfixed in her rocking chair, and held her close in his muscular arms.
He leant close to her ear, and into her ear breathed as much as whispered, blowing her golden hair with his warm breath, 'I bet you regret having my balls chopped off now, don't you?'
If you go to Jacko's NEVERLAND, you must be a maximum of foor-feet high to ride Michael...
Azul wrote:
> one-eye wrote:
> 2 Mexicans...
>
> I was wrong.
...worst joke I know, I promise =P
"ees a ham bush!!"
> one-eye wrote:
> 2 Mexicans...
>
> I was wrong.
...worst joke I know, I promise =P
"ees a ham bush!!"
one-eye wrote:
> 2 Mexicans...
I was wrong.
> 2 Mexicans...
I was wrong.
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