Viewing Thread:
"Tell a joke..."

OK, I'll start (on a topical note)...

What do you call a donkey with three legs?

A wonkey

What do you call a donkey with three legs and one-eye?

A winky-wonky



...I dare someone to do worse =P

A man, whose level of drunkenness was bordering on the absurd, stood up to leave a bar and fell flat on his face.

"Maybe all I need is some fresh air," thought the man as he crawled outside.

He tried to stand up again, but fell face first into the mud.

"Screw it," he thought. "I'll just crawl home."

The next morning, his wife found him on the doorstep asleep.

"You went out drinking last night, didn't you?" she said.

"Uh, yes," he said sheepishly. "How did you know?"

"You left your wheelchair at the bar again."

A horse walks into a pub & orders a pint. The barman says "So why the long face?"

A brain walks into a pub & orders a pint. The barman says "Sorry mate, can serve you, you're out your head"

A sandwich walks into a pub & orders a pint. The barman says "Sorry mate, we dont serve food"

A monkey walks in to a bar & orders a pint. Barman says "Sorry, cant serve you. Your out of your tree"

I entered the Young Musician of the Year last week. He was furious...

A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband one morning. Suddenly her husband burst into the kitchen.

"Careful...CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my GOD! You're cooking
too many at once. Too MANY! Turn them over. Turn them over NOW! We need more butter. Oh my GOD! Where are we going to get more BUTTER!?
Great! Now they're going to STICK! Careful...CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You never listen to me when you're cooking! NEVER! Turn them over! Hurry UP! Are you crazy? Have you lost your MIND? Don't forget to salt them. You KNOW you always forget to salt them. Use the salt. The SALT! USE THE SALT!"

His wife just stared at him. "What in the hell is the matter with you? You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?"
The husband calmly replied, "I wanted to show you what it feels like to have you sitting next to me when I'm driving."

not really a joke as such, but a funny anecdotal thingamajig.

-----------------

A man goes into a toilet in a pub.
Inside he sees 2 cubicles, one is occupied.
He goes into the vacant cubicle, shuts the door, drops his pants and seats himself.
A few minutes pass.
Suddenly a voice from the next cubicle :

"Alright Mate?"

" ... err, yeah, you?"

"Not too bad ... what're you up to?"

" ... errr, I'm just having a crap actually mate .... "

"Sorry mate, I'm going to have to go, I've got some idiot in the next cubicle who thinks I'm talking to him ... "


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probably not funny. oh well.

Why did the Grim Reaper have AIDS?
Because he was dyslexic.

Think about it ....
It's all in the name ....

AHAhahAHHaHa. And I just made it up.
Lick me, please.

Why did the Grim Reeper have hearing aids on?

Because he was deaf