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Yes yes, another post from me about me, but I've at last got something good to write about. So hush up, I can do what I like.
Well, at last, it looks like we've finally worked out what's wrong with me, being that I'm psychotic, and (while I hate to admit it) am schizophrenic.
Now there's still a large part of me that believes there's nothing wrong with me, and that's difficult to fight, but not impossible, which is the main thing.
Over the last month or so I've discovered that my brain is diseased, which wasn't so much of a shock as perhaps it should have been. I had meningious when I was younger, and fortunately instead of losing my limbs, hearing, etc, I was struck with brain damage, which was a bit harder to notice.
But well, dealing with all this, it's more like finding words for things that have always been. There's no difference, no change, only answers to questions that well, as you can guess, preoccupied my mind.
So now I'm on anti-psychotics, and it looks like I'll be on them for the rest of my life. I finally got around to talking to my parents about it, my father laughed and refused to believe it (which is -superb- for my paranoia, I might add), but my mother admitted that she found it hard to believe I'd be ill, but is accepting it slowly.
And now the only problems I have with myself are the rather slight side-affects (I shake a lot now, but it might be due to my feeling coming back and finding the cold more).. and well, now that I'm not spending my time trying to fight myself, I'm finding myself bored and with no idea what to do.
But it's great. I can concenrate again, much longer than I could before. I'm getting hungry again, which is amazing, and I'm eating more and at last putting weight on. I can clear my mind much easier, and while I still have bad moments, the rest of the time is excellent.
My mind is so clear I can't even think of a single bad thing at the moment. Seriously, it's great. It's kinda worrying though, to think that for the last ten years, even longer, I've been constantly fighting myself, never truly knowing if there was anything wrong with me.. that does wonders for your paranoia too.
But anyway, I'm happy, and now I'm off again to play with my nephews. Well, I thought it's only whenever someone's depressed that they write topics like this on here, so there we go.
Hope you're all just dandy.
Well, at last, it looks like we've finally worked out what's wrong with me, being that I'm psychotic, and (while I hate to admit it) am schizophrenic.
Now there's still a large part of me that believes there's nothing wrong with me, and that's difficult to fight, but not impossible, which is the main thing.
Over the last month or so I've discovered that my brain is diseased, which wasn't so much of a shock as perhaps it should have been. I had meningious when I was younger, and fortunately instead of losing my limbs, hearing, etc, I was struck with brain damage, which was a bit harder to notice.
But well, dealing with all this, it's more like finding words for things that have always been. There's no difference, no change, only answers to questions that well, as you can guess, preoccupied my mind.
So now I'm on anti-psychotics, and it looks like I'll be on them for the rest of my life. I finally got around to talking to my parents about it, my father laughed and refused to believe it (which is -superb- for my paranoia, I might add), but my mother admitted that she found it hard to believe I'd be ill, but is accepting it slowly.
And now the only problems I have with myself are the rather slight side-affects (I shake a lot now, but it might be due to my feeling coming back and finding the cold more).. and well, now that I'm not spending my time trying to fight myself, I'm finding myself bored and with no idea what to do.
But it's great. I can concenrate again, much longer than I could before. I'm getting hungry again, which is amazing, and I'm eating more and at last putting weight on. I can clear my mind much easier, and while I still have bad moments, the rest of the time is excellent.
My mind is so clear I can't even think of a single bad thing at the moment. Seriously, it's great. It's kinda worrying though, to think that for the last ten years, even longer, I've been constantly fighting myself, never truly knowing if there was anything wrong with me.. that does wonders for your paranoia too.
But anyway, I'm happy, and now I'm off again to play with my nephews. Well, I thought it's only whenever someone's depressed that they write topics like this on here, so there we go.
Hope you're all just dandy.
Page:
Hmm, well done I guess.
Excellent.
Yes yes, another post from me about me, but I've at last got something good to write about. So hush up, I can do what I like.
Well, at last, it looks like we've finally worked out what's wrong with me, being that I'm psychotic, and (while I hate to admit it) am schizophrenic.
Now there's still a large part of me that believes there's nothing wrong with me, and that's difficult to fight, but not impossible, which is the main thing.
Over the last month or so I've discovered that my brain is diseased, which wasn't so much of a shock as perhaps it should have been. I had meningious when I was younger, and fortunately instead of losing my limbs, hearing, etc, I was struck with brain damage, which was a bit harder to notice.
But well, dealing with all this, it's more like finding words for things that have always been. There's no difference, no change, only answers to questions that well, as you can guess, preoccupied my mind.
So now I'm on anti-psychotics, and it looks like I'll be on them for the rest of my life. I finally got around to talking to my parents about it, my father laughed and refused to believe it (which is -superb- for my paranoia, I might add), but my mother admitted that she found it hard to believe I'd be ill, but is accepting it slowly.
And now the only problems I have with myself are the rather slight side-affects (I shake a lot now, but it might be due to my feeling coming back and finding the cold more).. and well, now that I'm not spending my time trying to fight myself, I'm finding myself bored and with no idea what to do.
But it's great. I can concenrate again, much longer than I could before. I'm getting hungry again, which is amazing, and I'm eating more and at last putting weight on. I can clear my mind much easier, and while I still have bad moments, the rest of the time is excellent.
My mind is so clear I can't even think of a single bad thing at the moment. Seriously, it's great. It's kinda worrying though, to think that for the last ten years, even longer, I've been constantly fighting myself, never truly knowing if there was anything wrong with me.. that does wonders for your paranoia too.
But anyway, I'm happy, and now I'm off again to play with my nephews. Well, I thought it's only whenever someone's depressed that they write topics like this on here, so there we go.
Hope you're all just dandy.
Well, at last, it looks like we've finally worked out what's wrong with me, being that I'm psychotic, and (while I hate to admit it) am schizophrenic.
Now there's still a large part of me that believes there's nothing wrong with me, and that's difficult to fight, but not impossible, which is the main thing.
Over the last month or so I've discovered that my brain is diseased, which wasn't so much of a shock as perhaps it should have been. I had meningious when I was younger, and fortunately instead of losing my limbs, hearing, etc, I was struck with brain damage, which was a bit harder to notice.
But well, dealing with all this, it's more like finding words for things that have always been. There's no difference, no change, only answers to questions that well, as you can guess, preoccupied my mind.
So now I'm on anti-psychotics, and it looks like I'll be on them for the rest of my life. I finally got around to talking to my parents about it, my father laughed and refused to believe it (which is -superb- for my paranoia, I might add), but my mother admitted that she found it hard to believe I'd be ill, but is accepting it slowly.
And now the only problems I have with myself are the rather slight side-affects (I shake a lot now, but it might be due to my feeling coming back and finding the cold more).. and well, now that I'm not spending my time trying to fight myself, I'm finding myself bored and with no idea what to do.
But it's great. I can concenrate again, much longer than I could before. I'm getting hungry again, which is amazing, and I'm eating more and at last putting weight on. I can clear my mind much easier, and while I still have bad moments, the rest of the time is excellent.
My mind is so clear I can't even think of a single bad thing at the moment. Seriously, it's great. It's kinda worrying though, to think that for the last ten years, even longer, I've been constantly fighting myself, never truly knowing if there was anything wrong with me.. that does wonders for your paranoia too.
But anyway, I'm happy, and now I'm off again to play with my nephews. Well, I thought it's only whenever someone's depressed that they write topics like this on here, so there we go.
Hope you're all just dandy.
Page: