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"Rules Of Film"

No matter what genre of film you like, there are a number of consistent rules that apply to virtually any film....Here are 10.

1. If being chased you can always take cover in a convenient passing street parade.

2. All paper grocery bags must contain at least one baguette

3. The Chief Of Police will always suspend the star, or give him 48 hours to solve the case

4. All beds are fitted with special 'L' Shaped sheets that are designed to reach armpit level on on woman but only reach just above the waist for a man sharing the same bed.

5. The Eiffel Tower can be seen from every window in Paris.

6. All bombs are fitted with electronic timers with large red LED displays to show you exactly how long you have until the bomb goes off. The person defusing the bomb will always succeed with only 1 second to spare

7. You will survive any war so long as you are not stupid enough to show a picture of your girlfriend/wife to someone.

8. A man will not show any pain whatsoever while sustaining a severe beating or being shot, but will wince in agony when a woman tries to clean his wounds

9. Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German Officer it is not necessary to speak the German language, just speak in English whilst putting on a bad German accent.

10. You will always be able to park right outside the building you are visiting.


Any others I've missed?

Are you still denying it? It's no big deal, it's just we all KNOW you copied and pasted it from somewhere else (complete with spelling mistakes) so there's no point in trying to worm your way out of it.

Nobody cares, it's just sad.

magnius wrote:
> Why the hell would I even want to steal this? Hmmm? If I had read it
> somewhere or been sent it I wouldn't have credited.

Why the hell would I even want to steal this? Hmmm? If I had read it somewhere or been sent it I would have credited.

magnius wrote:
> I haven't nicked this from anyone...It's hardly an original idea
> admitidly, but I came up with these myself, I ain't no thief.

---------

Ha ha. You didn't even bother re-wording them, they've even got the original spelling mistakes in. For shame.

magnius wrote:
> I haven't nicked this from anyone...It's hardly an original idea
> admitidly, but I came up with these myself, I ain't no thief.

((cough))bullsh*t((cough))
i've seen these all before mate, word for word.

Car chases have to have empty cardboard boxes being hit down narrow alleys and end up near the end under a motorway/bridge with big concrete pillars, usually have a truck pulling out in the path of one of the vehicles on the way too.

> You've missed crediting your original source. I've read this before.
> I've actually been emailed it before!


I haven't nicked this from anyone...It's hardly an original idea admitidly, but I came up with these myself, I ain't no thief.

Despite being shot at, nearly blown up, thrown out of windows and punched the hero will not have a single hair on their head that is out of place.

magnius wrote:
> Any others I've missed?

You've missed crediting your original source. I've read this before. I've actually been emailed it before!

If a major character goes over a cliff and you aren't then presented with a slow motion camera shot of them looking up and screaming, they have miraculously grabbed a ledge/rope/damaged bridge.

EDIT : This is a terrible rule, forget you read it.