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"Send me some jokes"

I've added a jokes page to my website ([URL]http://timmargh.net/jokes/[/URL]) and I want you - yes, YOU *points* - to send me jokes to put on it.

If you've got a group of people you forward jokes to you get via email then add me to it! please

Send 'em to ...

joke at timmargh dot net

... or my usual email/MSN/AIM/iChat address (if you've got it). Crap or offensive jokes won't be added ...

Mystique wrote:
> That. Was. Crap.

I didn't say it was good but anyway:-

A man says doctor doctor, I think I have a strawberry growing on my head!
The doctor replies I'm afraid you have, but don't worry, I think I have some cream for that!

I've just sent you a couple Tim.

Heres a good one for you to add Timmargh:

Here are the top nine comments made by sports commentators during the 2004 Summer Olympics that they would like to take back:

1. Weightlifting commentator: "This is Gregoriava from Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning during her warm up and it was amazing."

2. Dressage commentator: "This is really a lovely horse and I speak from personal experience since I once mounted her mother."

3. Paul Hamm, Gymnast: "I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father."

4. Boxing Analyst: "Sure there have been injuries, and even some deaths in boxing, but none of them really that serious."

5. Softball announcer: "If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again."

6. Basketball analyst: "He dribbles a lot and the opposition doesn't like it. In fact you can see it all over their faces."

7. At the r owing medal ceremony: "Ah, isn't that nice, the wife of the IOC president is hugging the cox of the British crew."

8. Soccer commentator: "Julian D!cks is everywhere. It's like they've got eleven D!cks on the field."

9. Tennis commentator: "One of the reasons Andy is playing so well is that, before the final round, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them... Oh my God, what have I just said?"

Forest is pishing himself

That. Was. Crap.

This is an old one but it isn't rude, anyway here you go:-

There he was, jesus lying on the cross....moses walked up to him and jesus said OI DON'T TOUCH MY EASTER EGG'S, I'll be back sunday!

Yep.

There was a really big hoo ha about it.

Mystique wrote:
> Whats the difference between giving a girl head and a speed trap?
> You can see the c*nt behind the bush when givng a girl head.

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Weren't you almost banned for posting that joke once?

Damn, no incest jokes for you then.

English_Bloke wrote:
> I've got loads to send. How do you feel about rude ones?

I don't mind them myself - ;^) - but I'll probably censor them for my site.