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Just thought of this, perhaps as a kind of anti-guide to forums but decided not to enter it in the walkthrough to the forums comp because it would actually be b*****-all use...
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THE RETARD'S GUIDE TO BEING A TW*T ON INTERNET FORUMS: 4 EASY STEPS TO BEING BRANDED A SH*T-HEAD:
Have you ever wondered what it would be like to be the guy everyone hates on a forum? Do you like to be given a wide berth while in large groups of people? Do you get thrills out of people always shouting,
"hey, ****breath!" while referring to you? Well just follow these short and easy steps, and you too can be hated by all around you within moments of joining this forum.
Step no.1: "Introducing" yourself
Use your first post to "introduce yourself" by writing something along the lines of,
YO PEEPS, WASSUP? I B LUVIN DIS CHAT! U GEYES R WIKED! ANYWAYZ, JST THORT ID INTRODOOSE MYSELF 2 U MOFO'S! CHECKIT!
This here tactic is guaranteed to land you with the worst ever first impression possible, and a lot of people much more witty than you telling you that you "like to s**k your ***** mother's *** * **** **" and how grateful they are that you introduced yourself in this manner. From this time on, people will start to treat your attempts at intelligent remark with distain, until you actually write something worth reading, at which point you may be redeemed. To avoid this ever happening, continue to step 2.
Step no.2: Achieving your regular status
In order to achieve your regular status through being an annoying, spamming little ****, go to every forum and reply to all posts with the words "I b da bomb!"
This step is sure to cement your reputation as a "spamming, cheeseburger-eating duckwarbler" for evermore. Make sure you reply to all posts in this manner multiple times. Congratulations, you are a regular w*nk*r. Now, continue to step no.3.
Step no.3: Declaring other people's sexuality
After successfully completing steps 1 and 2, you will have discovered that that people will start to call you rude words. Don't worry; this is because they hate you. Congratulations. Now you can attempt to be funny and get back at these people who hate you, all in one foul swoop. A common way to do this is to start up a new post simply declaring "so-and-so is a hummosecsual". Everyone will laugh. No, not with you, at you. This will make those that hate you hate you more, and those that mildly dislike you, should now hate you. Swagger disgustingly onto step 4.
Step no.4: Getting perfectly good posters a bad reputation
Now that you have a front of being a sh*t-head, etc., you can begin to p*ss people off behind their backs. This guide can, unfortunately, only cover one or two of the ways but I assure you, as the annoying mungbean that you are, you will think up more on your own.
Example technique: Reverse plagiarism
i.Take one award winning review/walkthrough
ii.Select it all and press Ctrl-C
iii.Find a popular review/walkthrough page
iv.Navigate your way to it's "submit a review/walkthrough" section
v.Paste said review/walkthrough into the submissions box
vi.Submit it
vii."Alert" SR to this page and remark on how it is exactly the same as the original poster's review/walkthrough.
viii.Watch with glee as they are try and talk their way out of it.
ix.Tell them afterwards that it was you that did it.
Step no.5: Continue to act like this
Now that you have been given a kick-start to being the most unpopular person on the forums, you can now, if you have the required brain cells, continue to act like this, inventing more and more ingenious ways to annoy people. Continue until you get banned, grow up, or make some friends.
Disclaimer: The author does not accept any responsibility for broken limbs, eyeball bones, etc. caused by carrying out these actions. If you do do this, it's your own damn fault if something goes wrong, and if the people who hate you find out where you live, then it's because you told them. Remember, forums should be anonymous, especially if you're acting like a d*ck. (that doesn't say duck)
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
THE RETARD'S GUIDE TO BEING A TW*T ON INTERNET FORUMS: 4 EASY STEPS TO BEING BRANDED A SH*T-HEAD:
Have you ever wondered what it would be like to be the guy everyone hates on a forum? Do you like to be given a wide berth while in large groups of people? Do you get thrills out of people always shouting,
"hey, ****breath!" while referring to you? Well just follow these short and easy steps, and you too can be hated by all around you within moments of joining this forum.
Step no.1: "Introducing" yourself
Use your first post to "introduce yourself" by writing something along the lines of,
YO PEEPS, WASSUP? I B LUVIN DIS CHAT! U GEYES R WIKED! ANYWAYZ, JST THORT ID INTRODOOSE MYSELF 2 U MOFO'S! CHECKIT!
This here tactic is guaranteed to land you with the worst ever first impression possible, and a lot of people much more witty than you telling you that you "like to s**k your ***** mother's *** * **** **" and how grateful they are that you introduced yourself in this manner. From this time on, people will start to treat your attempts at intelligent remark with distain, until you actually write something worth reading, at which point you may be redeemed. To avoid this ever happening, continue to step 2.
Step no.2: Achieving your regular status
In order to achieve your regular status through being an annoying, spamming little ****, go to every forum and reply to all posts with the words "I b da bomb!"
This step is sure to cement your reputation as a "spamming, cheeseburger-eating duckwarbler" for evermore. Make sure you reply to all posts in this manner multiple times. Congratulations, you are a regular w*nk*r. Now, continue to step no.3.
Step no.3: Declaring other people's sexuality
After successfully completing steps 1 and 2, you will have discovered that that people will start to call you rude words. Don't worry; this is because they hate you. Congratulations. Now you can attempt to be funny and get back at these people who hate you, all in one foul swoop. A common way to do this is to start up a new post simply declaring "so-and-so is a hummosecsual". Everyone will laugh. No, not with you, at you. This will make those that hate you hate you more, and those that mildly dislike you, should now hate you. Swagger disgustingly onto step 4.
Step no.4: Getting perfectly good posters a bad reputation
Now that you have a front of being a sh*t-head, etc., you can begin to p*ss people off behind their backs. This guide can, unfortunately, only cover one or two of the ways but I assure you, as the annoying mungbean that you are, you will think up more on your own.
Example technique: Reverse plagiarism
i.Take one award winning review/walkthrough
ii.Select it all and press Ctrl-C
iii.Find a popular review/walkthrough page
iv.Navigate your way to it's "submit a review/walkthrough" section
v.Paste said review/walkthrough into the submissions box
vi.Submit it
vii."Alert" SR to this page and remark on how it is exactly the same as the original poster's review/walkthrough.
viii.Watch with glee as they are try and talk their way out of it.
ix.Tell them afterwards that it was you that did it.
Step no.5: Continue to act like this
Now that you have been given a kick-start to being the most unpopular person on the forums, you can now, if you have the required brain cells, continue to act like this, inventing more and more ingenious ways to annoy people. Continue until you get banned, grow up, or make some friends.
Disclaimer: The author does not accept any responsibility for broken limbs, eyeball bones, etc. caused by carrying out these actions. If you do do this, it's your own damn fault if something goes wrong, and if the people who hate you find out where you live, then it's because you told them. Remember, forums should be anonymous, especially if you're acting like a d*ck. (that doesn't say duck)
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Paradox: wrote:
> Ahh the recycled photocopy of mock originality, how I've missed thee.
eh?
> Ahh the recycled photocopy of mock originality, how I've missed thee.
eh?
Ahh the recycled photocopy of mock originality, how I've missed thee.
Don't answer that
FinalFantasyFanatic wrote:
> I'm sure this has been done before.
> Twice, at least.
Well, I'm new. And has it been done this well before? :P
> I'm sure this has been done before.
> Twice, at least.
Well, I'm new. And has it been done this well before? :P
I'm sure this has been done before.
Twice, at least.
Twice, at least.
I've read them all now. Which bit are you talking about???
The Hibernator wrote:
> Very interesting Jimbojambo - but I already wrote a little something
> very similar to this on the "Write a forum walkthrough"
> thread.
Sorry man, I haven't read through all of them yet. Nothing copied I assure you.
> Very interesting Jimbojambo - but I already wrote a little something
> very similar to this on the "Write a forum walkthrough"
> thread.
Sorry man, I haven't read through all of them yet. Nothing copied I assure you.
Very interesting Jimbojambo - but I already wrote a little something very similar to this on the "Write a forum walkthrough" thread.
W00t the w00t is w00t
Have a medal!!!!!!!!!!!
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