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Only, er, ten months after getting back from holiday, I decided to get checked out (strike while the iron's hot, that's what I say!)
The Wal, who got jiggy with some s**t down in Whitehaven, also wanted checking out, so being best friends we decided to head down to the clinic together. Aww.
So I took the day off and met Wal, who ironically today was working where I do, only he's doing the air conditioning there. So I had to go to work on my day off. Bah.
Got there via Wal's Corsa, went in and had to fill out a form while he parked, then we sat, watching Quincy, with a bunch of other people. Some half decent lasses were in there, but the clinic is probably the LAST place you want to go to pick up a girl. Almost everyone there was a radgie. Classic. So Wal and I just talked to each other. We must've looked like right bum boys, being in the clinic together.
Was called through, left to wait in a room with HIV posters everywhere. Not quite what you want to see. Doctor came in, she was quite canny, asked me a load of questions like had I injected heroin or cocaine and had I had sex with a man. The usual stuff...
Was also asked if I'd like someone in with us to watch. Yes, to watch. Pretty standard for a female patient being seen by a male doctor to have another woman present, but I didn't feel the need to have some bloke watching as a woman in her late 30s fondled my bits. Already one too many people seeing my wang today, didn't need a second.
Had to drop my pants and boxers and lay down. After a bit of checking, she said everything seemed OK, and now she'd take two swabs. And by swabs they mean sticking a needle up your third eye. First one wasn't so bad; bloody felt the second one.
After that ordeal was over, I had some blood taken, got a plaster on it and was free! Only I had to wait for The Wal, who's appointment wasn't until 3:30, and it was only 3. I didn't know this, but he'd gone back outside to wait. Since the place was quite quiet they called his name a few minutes after I sat down and started flicking through a computer magazine (the only thing which even remotely interested me) and watched Meg and Mog on CITV. Woo.
Second time they called his name I said "Er... that's my mate. He must be outside" So I was sent to find him.
He came out with a paper bag, so I thought he'd been given some creams or something... but the doc had given him 26 condoms - all large sized. Even he laughed at that.
Some woman came in with her two kids. Taking your kids to the clinic? Dear Lord...
So we left, drove back listening to loud rap music. Yeah, we're wiggas. What's the worst possible thing you can do after having blood taken? Drink alcohol. So what did we do? Drink alcohol. And eat pasta and fish fingers. And play Mario Kart. Hey, this is only my second day off in 9 months, I felt I had to do SOMETHING with it other than get checked out.
So next Friday I've got to call up and get my results. Scary... And the little general, not amused by having stuff stuck in him, is giving me jip. Still getting the odd shooting pain. And my left arm feels weak. No solo playing for me tonight. Bah.
Still, it's something I've put off for FAR too long (if I'd got into a relationship I'd have been straight down to make sure I was OK, but as it was I've gone months without being with a bird, so I've not had to worry TOO much... except for my own safety, which for some reason takes a back seat usually) and I'm glad I got it out the way. Just got to wait and see if I'm clear of the usual STD nasties, and the big one - HIV.
Oh, and Wal's doctor was fit. And on his record it had that he'd had a rectal swab last time he was there (they practically know him by first name there) He wasn't too amused about that, and demanded she take it off. Classic.
The Wal, who got jiggy with some s**t down in Whitehaven, also wanted checking out, so being best friends we decided to head down to the clinic together. Aww.
So I took the day off and met Wal, who ironically today was working where I do, only he's doing the air conditioning there. So I had to go to work on my day off. Bah.
Got there via Wal's Corsa, went in and had to fill out a form while he parked, then we sat, watching Quincy, with a bunch of other people. Some half decent lasses were in there, but the clinic is probably the LAST place you want to go to pick up a girl. Almost everyone there was a radgie. Classic. So Wal and I just talked to each other. We must've looked like right bum boys, being in the clinic together.
Was called through, left to wait in a room with HIV posters everywhere. Not quite what you want to see. Doctor came in, she was quite canny, asked me a load of questions like had I injected heroin or cocaine and had I had sex with a man. The usual stuff...
Was also asked if I'd like someone in with us to watch. Yes, to watch. Pretty standard for a female patient being seen by a male doctor to have another woman present, but I didn't feel the need to have some bloke watching as a woman in her late 30s fondled my bits. Already one too many people seeing my wang today, didn't need a second.
Had to drop my pants and boxers and lay down. After a bit of checking, she said everything seemed OK, and now she'd take two swabs. And by swabs they mean sticking a needle up your third eye. First one wasn't so bad; bloody felt the second one.
After that ordeal was over, I had some blood taken, got a plaster on it and was free! Only I had to wait for The Wal, who's appointment wasn't until 3:30, and it was only 3. I didn't know this, but he'd gone back outside to wait. Since the place was quite quiet they called his name a few minutes after I sat down and started flicking through a computer magazine (the only thing which even remotely interested me) and watched Meg and Mog on CITV. Woo.
Second time they called his name I said "Er... that's my mate. He must be outside" So I was sent to find him.
He came out with a paper bag, so I thought he'd been given some creams or something... but the doc had given him 26 condoms - all large sized. Even he laughed at that.
Some woman came in with her two kids. Taking your kids to the clinic? Dear Lord...
So we left, drove back listening to loud rap music. Yeah, we're wiggas. What's the worst possible thing you can do after having blood taken? Drink alcohol. So what did we do? Drink alcohol. And eat pasta and fish fingers. And play Mario Kart. Hey, this is only my second day off in 9 months, I felt I had to do SOMETHING with it other than get checked out.
So next Friday I've got to call up and get my results. Scary... And the little general, not amused by having stuff stuck in him, is giving me jip. Still getting the odd shooting pain. And my left arm feels weak. No solo playing for me tonight. Bah.
Still, it's something I've put off for FAR too long (if I'd got into a relationship I'd have been straight down to make sure I was OK, but as it was I've gone months without being with a bird, so I've not had to worry TOO much... except for my own safety, which for some reason takes a back seat usually) and I'm glad I got it out the way. Just got to wait and see if I'm clear of the usual STD nasties, and the big one - HIV.
Oh, and Wal's doctor was fit. And on his record it had that he'd had a rectal swab last time he was there (they practically know him by first name there) He wasn't too amused about that, and demanded she take it off. Classic.
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MoJoJoJo wrote:
> and the doctor The Wal saw.
That's why she thinks he's big. He had a semi...
> I know the fact that they were probably riddled with STDs wouldn't
> stop you from chatting up the fine ladies sat in the waiting room.
Hmm, I never thought of that. It must be a buffet of tarts!
> and the doctor The Wal saw.
That's why she thinks he's big. He had a semi...
> I know the fact that they were probably riddled with STDs wouldn't
> stop you from chatting up the fine ladies sat in the waiting room.
Hmm, I never thought of that. It must be a buffet of tarts!
Severe Butt Rot eh?
Never mind, get well soon.
Never mind, get well soon.
English_Bloke wrote:
> Did the Wal "accidentally" drop the items in his bag in
> reception in front of the hot receptionist...and in front of the hot
> lass on the way to the car?
-----------
Unfortunately, there were no hot receptionists or hot girls outside. Just one or two inside, and the doctor The Wal saw.
I know the fact that they were probably riddled with STDs wouldn't stop you from chatting up the fine ladies sat in the waiting room.
> Did the Wal "accidentally" drop the items in his bag in
> reception in front of the hot receptionist...and in front of the hot
> lass on the way to the car?
-----------
Unfortunately, there were no hot receptionists or hot girls outside. Just one or two inside, and the doctor The Wal saw.
I know the fact that they were probably riddled with STDs wouldn't stop you from chatting up the fine ladies sat in the waiting room.
Can't quite believe I read all of that.
Quite enjoyed it actually. :D
Quite enjoyed it actually. :D
Thanks for sharing.
So this is how you lost your virginity? Some woman penetrated you?
Being serious. It is best to check yourself out. Especially if you've been a tart on holiday.
Did the Wal "accidentally" drop the items in his bag in reception in front of the hot receptionist...and in front of the hot lass on the way to the car?
Being serious. It is best to check yourself out. Especially if you've been a tart on holiday.
Did the Wal "accidentally" drop the items in his bag in reception in front of the hot receptionist...and in front of the hot lass on the way to the car?
My, I wish my day was as exciting as yours.
Good for you, I'm glad we had this moment.
Only, er, ten months after getting back from holiday, I decided to get checked out (strike while the iron's hot, that's what I say!)
The Wal, who got jiggy with some s**t down in Whitehaven, also wanted checking out, so being best friends we decided to head down to the clinic together. Aww.
So I took the day off and met Wal, who ironically today was working where I do, only he's doing the air conditioning there. So I had to go to work on my day off. Bah.
Got there via Wal's Corsa, went in and had to fill out a form while he parked, then we sat, watching Quincy, with a bunch of other people. Some half decent lasses were in there, but the clinic is probably the LAST place you want to go to pick up a girl. Almost everyone there was a radgie. Classic. So Wal and I just talked to each other. We must've looked like right bum boys, being in the clinic together.
Was called through, left to wait in a room with HIV posters everywhere. Not quite what you want to see. Doctor came in, she was quite canny, asked me a load of questions like had I injected heroin or cocaine and had I had sex with a man. The usual stuff...
Was also asked if I'd like someone in with us to watch. Yes, to watch. Pretty standard for a female patient being seen by a male doctor to have another woman present, but I didn't feel the need to have some bloke watching as a woman in her late 30s fondled my bits. Already one too many people seeing my wang today, didn't need a second.
Had to drop my pants and boxers and lay down. After a bit of checking, she said everything seemed OK, and now she'd take two swabs. And by swabs they mean sticking a needle up your third eye. First one wasn't so bad; bloody felt the second one.
After that ordeal was over, I had some blood taken, got a plaster on it and was free! Only I had to wait for The Wal, who's appointment wasn't until 3:30, and it was only 3. I didn't know this, but he'd gone back outside to wait. Since the place was quite quiet they called his name a few minutes after I sat down and started flicking through a computer magazine (the only thing which even remotely interested me) and watched Meg and Mog on CITV. Woo.
Second time they called his name I said "Er... that's my mate. He must be outside" So I was sent to find him.
He came out with a paper bag, so I thought he'd been given some creams or something... but the doc had given him 26 condoms - all large sized. Even he laughed at that.
Some woman came in with her two kids. Taking your kids to the clinic? Dear Lord...
So we left, drove back listening to loud rap music. Yeah, we're wiggas. What's the worst possible thing you can do after having blood taken? Drink alcohol. So what did we do? Drink alcohol. And eat pasta and fish fingers. And play Mario Kart. Hey, this is only my second day off in 9 months, I felt I had to do SOMETHING with it other than get checked out.
So next Friday I've got to call up and get my results. Scary... And the little general, not amused by having stuff stuck in him, is giving me jip. Still getting the odd shooting pain. And my left arm feels weak. No solo playing for me tonight. Bah.
Still, it's something I've put off for FAR too long (if I'd got into a relationship I'd have been straight down to make sure I was OK, but as it was I've gone months without being with a bird, so I've not had to worry TOO much... except for my own safety, which for some reason takes a back seat usually) and I'm glad I got it out the way. Just got to wait and see if I'm clear of the usual STD nasties, and the big one - HIV.
Oh, and Wal's doctor was fit. And on his record it had that he'd had a rectal swab last time he was there (they practically know him by first name there) He wasn't too amused about that, and demanded she take it off. Classic.
The Wal, who got jiggy with some s**t down in Whitehaven, also wanted checking out, so being best friends we decided to head down to the clinic together. Aww.
So I took the day off and met Wal, who ironically today was working where I do, only he's doing the air conditioning there. So I had to go to work on my day off. Bah.
Got there via Wal's Corsa, went in and had to fill out a form while he parked, then we sat, watching Quincy, with a bunch of other people. Some half decent lasses were in there, but the clinic is probably the LAST place you want to go to pick up a girl. Almost everyone there was a radgie. Classic. So Wal and I just talked to each other. We must've looked like right bum boys, being in the clinic together.
Was called through, left to wait in a room with HIV posters everywhere. Not quite what you want to see. Doctor came in, she was quite canny, asked me a load of questions like had I injected heroin or cocaine and had I had sex with a man. The usual stuff...
Was also asked if I'd like someone in with us to watch. Yes, to watch. Pretty standard for a female patient being seen by a male doctor to have another woman present, but I didn't feel the need to have some bloke watching as a woman in her late 30s fondled my bits. Already one too many people seeing my wang today, didn't need a second.
Had to drop my pants and boxers and lay down. After a bit of checking, she said everything seemed OK, and now she'd take two swabs. And by swabs they mean sticking a needle up your third eye. First one wasn't so bad; bloody felt the second one.
After that ordeal was over, I had some blood taken, got a plaster on it and was free! Only I had to wait for The Wal, who's appointment wasn't until 3:30, and it was only 3. I didn't know this, but he'd gone back outside to wait. Since the place was quite quiet they called his name a few minutes after I sat down and started flicking through a computer magazine (the only thing which even remotely interested me) and watched Meg and Mog on CITV. Woo.
Second time they called his name I said "Er... that's my mate. He must be outside" So I was sent to find him.
He came out with a paper bag, so I thought he'd been given some creams or something... but the doc had given him 26 condoms - all large sized. Even he laughed at that.
Some woman came in with her two kids. Taking your kids to the clinic? Dear Lord...
So we left, drove back listening to loud rap music. Yeah, we're wiggas. What's the worst possible thing you can do after having blood taken? Drink alcohol. So what did we do? Drink alcohol. And eat pasta and fish fingers. And play Mario Kart. Hey, this is only my second day off in 9 months, I felt I had to do SOMETHING with it other than get checked out.
So next Friday I've got to call up and get my results. Scary... And the little general, not amused by having stuff stuck in him, is giving me jip. Still getting the odd shooting pain. And my left arm feels weak. No solo playing for me tonight. Bah.
Still, it's something I've put off for FAR too long (if I'd got into a relationship I'd have been straight down to make sure I was OK, but as it was I've gone months without being with a bird, so I've not had to worry TOO much... except for my own safety, which for some reason takes a back seat usually) and I'm glad I got it out the way. Just got to wait and see if I'm clear of the usual STD nasties, and the big one - HIV.
Oh, and Wal's doctor was fit. And on his record it had that he'd had a rectal swab last time he was there (they practically know him by first name there) He wasn't too amused about that, and demanded she take it off. Classic.
Page: