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"Shoot the Writers"

Sorry for the short notice, but it's on later, after midnight.

12:30 ITV1. Or 12:50.

My sketch is the one with the guy shopping for a mobile phone.

Watch it if you want.

Also, tonight on E4 - Curb Your Enthusiasm. I didn't write any of that, so it'll probably be good.

I didnt think Meka's was that bad, probably second best behind the jigsaw one.

I saw an episode of this quite a while ago. It was probably the worst comedy show I've ever seen. Sample sketch:

A couple in bed.
Woman: Is it possible have sex with a ghost?
Man: Yeah, I've had sex with loads.
Woman: How many?
Man: Let's see....err.......one, two.....erm....about twelve.
Woman: You've had sex with twelve ghosts?
Man: Oh, ghosts? I thought you said "goats"

I still think that my sketch; about a bloke in a temping agency pre-registration interview, who is getting more and more agitated with every question the lady is asking him, and then finally snaps and storms off in a huff when asked about his shorthand (the man turns out to beJeremy Beadle); should be aired twice daily just before the 6 and 9 o'clock news.

The name 'Shoot the Writers' was supposed to be saying tha we can shoot all existing comedy writers, as the people on the streets (me) can do much better.

Now, when it starts, the joke kind of back-fires, as you can watch it, and say yes, do shoot the writers, these sketches are crap.

Mr Snuggly wrote:

> What was the other one, Meka? Do tell.

Anyway, the other sketch of mine (and it's so bad, I'm actually ashamed) was the one with the bloke and bird sat on a blanket in a park (which is wrong in itself - it's not the time you'd tell someone something like that)

Her: I have something to tell you, I have a bun in the oven
Him: That's great, I'm starving! (But they're in a park, I wrote it in a room!)
Her: No, you don't understand, I'm pregnant!
Him: (SHOUTING FOR SOME REASON, I DIDN'T REQUEST SHOUTING!) AND I SUPPOSE THAT'S MY FAULT IS IT?

I can't remember what my actual last line was there, but it wasn't that. It was supposed to be something like "I can't help but feel partially responsible". (But not that, that's from the Simpsons episode in which Bart sets up Mrs Crabapple with that pretend guy).

Shouting the other line just makes him sound angry at the pregnancy, rather than what I was really aiming for - a kind of patronising acceptance of responsibility, a huge understatement. Ah forget it! ;o)

Still I'm learning a great deal about exactly how specific I'm going to need to be with things like actors instructions when submitting things in the future!


Mr Snuggly wrote:

> Some of them - the 'I did that' one included - were just based on
> really crap gags ripped from the pages of FHM.

See, I'd be ashamed of myself if I tried to pass of someone elses work as my own. It's wrong.

I'm not passing comment here Meka, as I haven't seen the program (way past my bedtime) but isn't the fact it's low budget, badly acted, on at silly o'clock and called "Shoot the writers" an indication that what the producers are wanting to make is a terrible quality programme?

Is their whole point that the joke is on the people submitting scripts, and allowing the audience to think "damn, that's bad. I could do far better"?

I'm not trying to insult your writing here, just to me the whole concept would start ringing alarm bells.

Your "and I know that some of my other sketches were funnier, but either they weren't liked by the producer, or too high budget to film." is a prime example.

But then, I'm cynical.

Some of them - the 'I did that' one included - were just based on really crap gags ripped from the pages of FHM.

What was the other one, Meka? Do tell.

personally i thought the woman dumping that bloke who then turned out to be a customer and she a waitress was fairly good, the guy who played the boss actually had quite good timing.

also the "the bananas are here!" skits were pretty good and the "Pavarotti shelf" raised a smile. but 3 ok-ish reactions from a half hour show is still a pretty poor average.

Meka - your skit had a nice idea, but was marred by really poor acting and delivery. Plus it'd have been funnier if the joke continued a coupla times, and the manager ends up sacking the assistant in the background, then the guy decides he doesn't want the phone and wanders off... (but that's just my take on it and what do i know?, i never got a sketch on tv :) )

I did warn that it was low budget. Not in this thread, but in earlier ones.

I didn't like that some of the so called sketches were rip-off's of old jokes - but I already knew that.

Whilst it's easy to say 'I've had something on TV ner-ner', I'd have prefered it if they had a little respect for the scripts, and I know that some of my other sketches were funnier, but either they weren't liked by the producer, or too high budget to film.

What's worse is that there was a second one of my sketches in last night's show that I didn't know was going to be on as it hadn't been on at the screening I saw, and it had been so screwed up so badly that it was no longer funny. I'm not even going to say which one it is. It was the tone of the punchline that ruined it.

In episode 7 I have another sketch, but it doesn't even make sense, because they forget to put in the punch-line.

Aw, I had a clan match that finished at 1, will there be a repeat?

That was crap. The whole show sucked. I didn't really expect anything anyway, so I can't say I'm disappointed. The acting was REALLY awful.

Interestingly, they're still accepting scripts for the next series, heh.