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Veins chill, the inflowing juice of the damned streams. This time, this place, and everything around me is just another interspersed snapshot of my existence; another moment shared by both relentless torture and pure pleasure. My thoughts wander blankly, questioning why I ever betrayed myself, how I ever got into the situations and misfortunes that now confront me. I’ll be fine as long as I have you though, I’ll be just fine.
I recollect - it must have started when we discovered each other a couple of years back, you and I. It seemed a struggle to hit it off between us at first, constant attempts, but I was at that time of my life when I needed someone, and that someone was you. Off the back of a bad relationship, depression, and God knows what else, I was willing to try anything, and then one day it just worked, we clicked into place. You were the fuel to my fire; I abruptly caught alight with a joy I never thought possible to experience.
Bursting with flame, character, a carefree barrier. Bursting with life.
And what a pair we were. Times with you were blissful. I was so happy words couldn’t express; relatives, friends and probably even complete strangers observed how chirpy, joking and happy-go-lucky I was when we were together, joyfully together. On numerous occasions my parents praised me on how my life was going, how I was embracing it, but in all honesty I couldn’t have cared if they had shunned you anyway without a second thought. I’d have been with you, on your side; they didn’t seem to have the same significance to me anymore. I don’t even recall them recognising you as a turning point in my life.
In your absence, though, my existence could be compared to that of a scarecrow. Minutes, hours and days seemed to slither by, the tick-tocking of uncomforting clocks the only noise on the air of my surroundings; a lonely mans only company. Every thrill, exhilaration or even standard feelings that any average person would expect to feel weren’t even present in minorities. Then, when I found you, when I embraced you, I became a different person all over again, reborn into the skin of the happiest man alive.
I need you more and more and more.
This fire, fire driven and fuelled by you, is like no other sensation. It feels incredible. Warm, comforting, yet also buzzing and flickering with excitement. But every day it stays within the confines of my body, it scorches me.
I need you more and more and more. Without you I’m nothing but a faceless nobody, leading a faceless excuse of a life. I can’t live without you; you’re worth the world. Your rush, your well being, your ever-lasting protection. We’re made for each other. I inject you once more. And again. And again.
Veins chill, the inflowing juice of the damned streams. I lie here losing my senses, losing my consciousness…losing my breath.
I recollect - it must have started when we discovered each other a couple of years back, you and I. It seemed a struggle to hit it off between us at first, constant attempts, but I was at that time of my life when I needed someone, and that someone was you. Off the back of a bad relationship, depression, and God knows what else, I was willing to try anything, and then one day it just worked, we clicked into place. You were the fuel to my fire; I abruptly caught alight with a joy I never thought possible to experience.
Bursting with flame, character, a carefree barrier. Bursting with life.
And what a pair we were. Times with you were blissful. I was so happy words couldn’t express; relatives, friends and probably even complete strangers observed how chirpy, joking and happy-go-lucky I was when we were together, joyfully together. On numerous occasions my parents praised me on how my life was going, how I was embracing it, but in all honesty I couldn’t have cared if they had shunned you anyway without a second thought. I’d have been with you, on your side; they didn’t seem to have the same significance to me anymore. I don’t even recall them recognising you as a turning point in my life.
In your absence, though, my existence could be compared to that of a scarecrow. Minutes, hours and days seemed to slither by, the tick-tocking of uncomforting clocks the only noise on the air of my surroundings; a lonely mans only company. Every thrill, exhilaration or even standard feelings that any average person would expect to feel weren’t even present in minorities. Then, when I found you, when I embraced you, I became a different person all over again, reborn into the skin of the happiest man alive.
I need you more and more and more.
This fire, fire driven and fuelled by you, is like no other sensation. It feels incredible. Warm, comforting, yet also buzzing and flickering with excitement. But every day it stays within the confines of my body, it scorches me.
I need you more and more and more. Without you I’m nothing but a faceless nobody, leading a faceless excuse of a life. I can’t live without you; you’re worth the world. Your rush, your well being, your ever-lasting protection. We’re made for each other. I inject you once more. And again. And again.
Veins chill, the inflowing juice of the damned streams. I lie here losing my senses, losing my consciousness…losing my breath.
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I'm in a rut Mav, and I'm trying to write my way out of it!
Thanks for the opinions, everyone.
Thanks for the opinions, everyone.
You're a talented writer, as is shown through some nicely constructed sentences and a, on the whole, well constructed piece. However, why you feel like tying yourself down to something so dull and familiar is a mystery. There was literally nothing of interest that made me want to read on, or care about the main character.
Kudos for the twist in the tail, but please, try something different next time.
Kudos for the twist in the tail, but please, try something different next time.
Top stuff, nice twist. The 'inject' obviously gave it away, but it was nicely comfirmed by the repeatition of the first paragraph at the end.
Unexpected ending, although I did miss it until I read the replies and then went back to read the ending again.
But, sorry, this didn't do anything for me.
But, sorry, this didn't do anything for me.
Nice...
Like the twist. Needed to re-read the ending to make sure it was about what I thought it was though.
:D
Like the twist. Needed to re-read the ending to make sure it was about what I thought it was though.
:D
Yeah, it was a very good story with a nice dark feel to it. Perfecto.
Brilliant end there, completely the opposite of what the reader thinks you're talking about. A+++++++++++!!!11111 as spanked up ebayers say.
Didn't take me long to read this. It's full of emotion, it flows nicely and has a sinister feel to it, especially at the end. Very good story.
UW.
UW.
Dark and emotional - I liked it a lot.
Veins chill, the inflowing juice of the damned streams. This time, this place, and everything around me is just another interspersed snapshot of my existence; another moment shared by both relentless torture and pure pleasure. My thoughts wander blankly, questioning why I ever betrayed myself, how I ever got into the situations and misfortunes that now confront me. I’ll be fine as long as I have you though, I’ll be just fine.
I recollect - it must have started when we discovered each other a couple of years back, you and I. It seemed a struggle to hit it off between us at first, constant attempts, but I was at that time of my life when I needed someone, and that someone was you. Off the back of a bad relationship, depression, and God knows what else, I was willing to try anything, and then one day it just worked, we clicked into place. You were the fuel to my fire; I abruptly caught alight with a joy I never thought possible to experience.
Bursting with flame, character, a carefree barrier. Bursting with life.
And what a pair we were. Times with you were blissful. I was so happy words couldn’t express; relatives, friends and probably even complete strangers observed how chirpy, joking and happy-go-lucky I was when we were together, joyfully together. On numerous occasions my parents praised me on how my life was going, how I was embracing it, but in all honesty I couldn’t have cared if they had shunned you anyway without a second thought. I’d have been with you, on your side; they didn’t seem to have the same significance to me anymore. I don’t even recall them recognising you as a turning point in my life.
In your absence, though, my existence could be compared to that of a scarecrow. Minutes, hours and days seemed to slither by, the tick-tocking of uncomforting clocks the only noise on the air of my surroundings; a lonely mans only company. Every thrill, exhilaration or even standard feelings that any average person would expect to feel weren’t even present in minorities. Then, when I found you, when I embraced you, I became a different person all over again, reborn into the skin of the happiest man alive.
I need you more and more and more.
This fire, fire driven and fuelled by you, is like no other sensation. It feels incredible. Warm, comforting, yet also buzzing and flickering with excitement. But every day it stays within the confines of my body, it scorches me.
I need you more and more and more. Without you I’m nothing but a faceless nobody, leading a faceless excuse of a life. I can’t live without you; you’re worth the world. Your rush, your well being, your ever-lasting protection. We’re made for each other. I inject you once more. And again. And again.
Veins chill, the inflowing juice of the damned streams. I lie here losing my senses, losing my consciousness…losing my breath.
I recollect - it must have started when we discovered each other a couple of years back, you and I. It seemed a struggle to hit it off between us at first, constant attempts, but I was at that time of my life when I needed someone, and that someone was you. Off the back of a bad relationship, depression, and God knows what else, I was willing to try anything, and then one day it just worked, we clicked into place. You were the fuel to my fire; I abruptly caught alight with a joy I never thought possible to experience.
Bursting with flame, character, a carefree barrier. Bursting with life.
And what a pair we were. Times with you were blissful. I was so happy words couldn’t express; relatives, friends and probably even complete strangers observed how chirpy, joking and happy-go-lucky I was when we were together, joyfully together. On numerous occasions my parents praised me on how my life was going, how I was embracing it, but in all honesty I couldn’t have cared if they had shunned you anyway without a second thought. I’d have been with you, on your side; they didn’t seem to have the same significance to me anymore. I don’t even recall them recognising you as a turning point in my life.
In your absence, though, my existence could be compared to that of a scarecrow. Minutes, hours and days seemed to slither by, the tick-tocking of uncomforting clocks the only noise on the air of my surroundings; a lonely mans only company. Every thrill, exhilaration or even standard feelings that any average person would expect to feel weren’t even present in minorities. Then, when I found you, when I embraced you, I became a different person all over again, reborn into the skin of the happiest man alive.
I need you more and more and more.
This fire, fire driven and fuelled by you, is like no other sensation. It feels incredible. Warm, comforting, yet also buzzing and flickering with excitement. But every day it stays within the confines of my body, it scorches me.
I need you more and more and more. Without you I’m nothing but a faceless nobody, leading a faceless excuse of a life. I can’t live without you; you’re worth the world. Your rush, your well being, your ever-lasting protection. We’re made for each other. I inject you once more. And again. And again.
Veins chill, the inflowing juice of the damned streams. I lie here losing my senses, losing my consciousness…losing my breath.
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