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"I have a relationship problem...:("

Well as many of you know by now I'm your resident gay member and I have been having some relationship problems as of late. In fact it's been scheisse. I have been going out with my PERFECT boyfriend for the past 3 months (on the 16th on this month) and it's been amazing being with him. However on Wednesday I made a big mistake.

My ex called Chris well...my new guy is very protective of me around him as Chris has tried while we're going out, to err get at me. So I said to Mark look if you're that bothered about Chris, I'll never see him again. He's my past and you're my future. Mark declined though and said "No he's been a good friend to you for near enough 3 years now I don't want to be the reason you stop seeing him.

I just left it at that after and me and Mark continued our great relationship. We had plans to move in with each other in Mid-october, we both gave up uni for it and he's working his ass of working anti-social ours to get the initial money until I start saving from a part time job i plan to get on Tuesday.

He only gets Wednesdays off from this job and we planned to spend everyone together. Just being together...it's all I ever want. However on his first wednesday off I made the biggest mistake of my life.

I spent a great day as always with him and I decided to end the night by taking him to an Edinburgh gay bar (habanas) as he hadn't seen any of Edinburgh's. When we were there we started drinking and having a good time when my ex-Chris came in. I told Mark who he was and said to Mark "Don't worry I wont come back for a drink with him".

After a couple of hours Mark had to go home. I wanted to spend as much time as I could with him so I convinced him to stay for a while longer and get the late train home. Eventually he had to go though so I walked him to the train station, hugged him, kissed him, told him how much I loved him and said goodbye. Seconds later Chris phoned and said "Why don't you come back for one drink? There's a pineapple bacardi waiting for you" I said no but then he said "For god's sake! You've got to have a life outside Mark you know"...so I reconsidered and joined him for one drink, two if you count the bottle of volvic I bought for the walk home.

While I was there though Mark phoned my mobile. I said "Hey babe, sorry I'm at Haban...." and he hung up on me. I thought he was just a bit annoyed at me for going back for a drink but I still felt like crap that I'd caused the one man I truely love to feel like that so I walked home and couldn't get to sleep. I tried phoning and texting him but he answered and replied to nothing. It just made me feel worse and worse and I knew he must be angry about something else too.

I got up the next day and the first thing I checked was my phone to see if he got back to me and he hadn't so I went on MSN were he explained all. I promised him I would never see Chris again if that's what he wanted a while ago he was upset that I went back to see him after Habanas. I was sure Mark said he didn't want me to stop seeing Chris so I didn't give it much thought but now I know I should have kept that promise regardless and I am keeping it now.

Mark says he lost his trust in me that night and now we don't have a relationship...it hurt me so so much to see him say that. It was terrible.

I felt so bad for hurting him and I didn't know what to do. However, he did talk to me again. In fact I met Mark again yesterday. He phoned me at 1:00am after work and after talking for an hour-hour and a half he asked if I wanted to come and see him. I always said I was just a phonecall away and I went to see him a few hours later (got there at 12 noon). At first it was hard but I knew it would be. We talked about it at the start and decided just to put it behind us and try and get back what we had (we're not breaking up!!! YES!) I was so relieved when I heard that and it made me so so happy to be given the chance to make him happy again.

He say's it's going to be hard and I can understand why it will be but I'm sure we'll work through it. I can't afford us not to, I made a mistake and although I can't change it. We all learn from our mistakes and take something from it, I took the lesson that I can never ever do anything to jeapordise our relationship again. I love him far far too much to ever lose him.

I'm sure when he saw me he must have been able to see how much I was hurting, how truely sorry I was and there must have been some part of him that saw that I'd learnt my lesson, even if it was the hard way.

The only problem now is earning his trust again. It's going to be so so hard, I have to earn his trust again and he has to learn to trust again. All I want though is our relationship as it was. Perfect, just like him.

He works 8 till 8 Sat and Sun after a 6 till midnight work shift on Friday. I've never spent so long not talking to him before and considering the circumstances I'm sure you can understand how much I miss him and want to talk to him. I want to be with him so much. Earlier on I couldn't really take it. It felt so bad just wanting to phone him but knowing he was at work. I needed a distraction and I turned to something I never have before.

I decided to self harm, not properly really. I didn't drag a stanley knife across my skin. I was smoking at the time and I stubbed it out on my wrist. The pain of the burn took away some of the mental pain but now I realise it was just a distraction and now I have to cover the burn scar. I'm not sure if I regret it because it made me feel better for a few moments but I just don't know what to do. It's so frustrating knowing you'd do anything for someone, knowing they could trust you and that you'd die for them and them not to trust you back. I just love him so much and want him to love me like he did before. I just feel so bad right now.

I don't know what you're all going to make of this post and I don't know what kind of responses I'm wanting but I just wanted to talk to some people about it. Thanks for your time.

Forest Fan wrote:
> be grateful you're called 'gay'.

Hypocrisy.

Imagine the uproar if Cubist said "You should be grateful you're called straight". That comment reeks of arrogance and "thinking you are special, the very thing you accused Cubist of doing.

You are all furking hypocrites in one form of another.

If people were half as concerned about their own lives as they are about everyone elses this society might be a decent one to exist in.

Well leave that debate in that forum. All I'll say on the matter is this: You're the only one bothered by sales. We're more interested in great games.

Edgy wrote:
> Bit like your messages in the console wars threads, eh?

What console war thread??

EDIT: You mean the Nintendo forum thing? Not my fault if certain people are desperate fanboys without an ounce of common sense regarding Nintendo... "huzzah a sequel to a game that was largely ignored and another rhythm game with plastic drums is going to win Xmas, helped along by the fact that GTA San Andreas and Halo 2 will have the kids flocking to the big N".....

Belldandy wrote:
> Staffies should have warned a whole bunch of you for the stuff being
> thrown around in this thread. It's like an advert for "think
> before you hit the keyboard with your forehead".

Bit like your messages in the console wars threads, eh?

Staffies should have warned a whole bunch of you for the stuff being thrown around in this thread. It's like an advert for "think before you hit the keyboard with your forehead".

Right, I've just read the whole topic and there's a number of things I'd like to say.

1. Cubist. I was going to give advice to you. But it seems we're not worthy of having something to say. Or that's the attitude I'm getting. Especially when you accuse others of being arrogant.

For example, when someone mentioned the defenition of "Breeder" from the dictionary, your first response was along the lines of, "That would only come from a breeder" That was one of the most arrogant things I'd read in this thread.

2.
Cub!st wrote:
> You said it not me.
>
The fact remains you breed, therefore you
> are breeders.

I would accept the words Gay and Homosexual as acceptable terms for men who just like men.
I would except Bi or Bisexual as acceptable terms for men and women who are attracted to both men and women.
I would accept Straight as an acceptable term for someone who is only attracted to people of the opposite sex.

They are all nouns. They aren't considered offensive in this day and age and are commonly used in the media.

The term 'Breeder' isn't. It's a verb. It's a doing word. So if it's acceptable to call straight people by the sexual actions they take then maybe we should all call you a Bummer.

Now you'll tell me that isn't acceptable and is used as a derogatory and/or offensive term. However people here have already stated that they consider 'Breeder' in the same light. So if you respect other peoples feelings then you'll take note of that and stop calling them by such a term. Otherwise, don't expect people to respect you. It wouldn't matter which way you swing, you'd still lose all respect for using such terms.

3. Cubist, you're just as bad as the homophobics. I could say you're hetrophobic. When people mention their sexual preferences, I shrug my shoulders. It makes no difference to me. For example, I was backing Dan to win Big Brother (though I'm not sad enough to vote). I don't see people as straight, bi or gay. I see people as people. It's sad that you feel the need to classify people to make such controversial debates.

Your Honour wrote:
> I'm just going to sum up the first post in a few lines:
>
> 1. "Hi! I'm gay. Aren't I great for justing shouting it out like
> that?!".
>
> 2. "Not only am I gay! I'm also in demand. Wow, I must be
> great! And GAY!
>
> 3. "Oh, hang on a minute, I'm only 16 so I'm really not in a
> position to decided what I want right now. But that's ok because
> I'M GAY!!!!!!1111

YH, you get a genius badge for that post.

Nail on the head?

Certainly.

I was trying to make my point clear as well, heh. But my sarcasm failed. Dismally.

Positive discrimination is one of the biggest curses on society. Say I was an employer and had 10 roles to fill, and it happened that the best qualified people were all white, straight, male and Christian, then I should be free to give them the jobs without fear of any hate-cries from society.

Anyway, back to serious stuff - Those damn darkiepoofs are going straight to Hell anyway. Or they would be if they weren't dirty heathen Muslim Hindus.

*Holds hands up*

Guilty.

Guilty of hating having stuff rammed down my throat whether you're gay/straight/black/white/christian/muslim/dead/only got one arm etc.

So he's queer and has had an argument with his partner, so what?

Jeez, if every straight person on here wrote a long post everytime they had an argument with their partner, there'd be nothing else on these boards.

So he's queer? So what. Makes no difference whatsoever.

Not having a go at you Stryke mate, just wanting to make my point clear :-)

Now excuse me while I lock my door so no darkie poof can come and bumf##k me while I'm playing evil computer games...

Your Honour wrote:
> I'm just going to sum up the first post in a few lines:
>
> 1. "Hi! I'm gay. Aren't I great for justing shouting it out like
> that?!".
>
> 2. "Not only am I gay! I'm also in demand. Wow, I must be
> great! And GAY!
>
> 3. "Oh, hang on a minute, I'm only 16 so I'm really not in a
> position to decided what I want right now. But that's ok because
> I'M GAY!!!!!!1111

--

You hatemonger. Bet you're aserial Muslim-beater as well. And a kiddy fiddler while we're stacking them up.