The "Freeola Customer Forum" forum, which includes Retro Game Reviews, has been archived and is now read-only. You cannot post here or create a new thread or review on this forum.
Is rubbish. Really -really- bad film. Full of Hornblower running about and whining about home and Ray Winstone being cockney and Stellan Skarsgard wandering about still looking moody because Will Hunting was better than him at equations and stuff.
It had the Blade 2 Bloodpack-style bunch of 'interestingly different' fighter types who use 'interestingly different' weapons and have quirky differences that are supposed to be interesting. But they are, in fact, as crap as the rest of this film. Ray Winstone should be doing better stuff, as should old Stellan.
Still, it's always comedy to see the Hornblower guy.
It had the Blade 2 Bloodpack-style bunch of 'interestingly different' fighter types who use 'interestingly different' weapons and have quirky differences that are supposed to be interesting. But they are, in fact, as crap as the rest of this film. Ray Winstone should be doing better stuff, as should old Stellan.
Still, it's always comedy to see the Hornblower guy.
Page:
LSD wrote:
> I don't find Knightly attractive, She look so boring and simple.
> Notting special about her.
Die.
> I don't find Knightly attractive, She look so boring and simple.
> Notting special about her.
Die.
I'd rather have paid to see Clive BMW Owen be all stroppy because he's losing Knightley to Hornblower and then they all gallop about in shiny armour until the Skarsgard does Merlin-stuff with shiny CGI and then Sexy Beast Winstone gets cockney angry and hits stuff, then they all sit in Camelot and decide to forgive Hornblower and Knightley and then BMW Owen decides it's time for a fight with Mordred (Ian Holm, youthed up by CGI and designer stubble) and then he goes to see Lady of the Lake (Kelly Brook) who gives him some nice breast shots and a Shiny Sword. Then they fight and Hornblower dies, Knightley cries about this, BMW Owen dies, Knightley cries some more, and Winstone gets angry some more and rides off.
It'd be crap, but enjoyably.
It'd be crap, but enjoyably.
It sounds like once again that Hollywood have opened up the history books, found something they find interesting then decided to pull their pants down and take a big dump all over it. I was hoping that they’d actually make an attempt at making a decent historical epic instead of the flashy, empty action film it sounds like it is. They should have stuck the mythical legend of King Arthur, at least then it’d have been an easier film to forgive.
Any Saxon wants a piece of the Hornblower.
"Dont worry i wont let them rape you" Haaaa
Indeed, but he now sports designer stubble and moans about home instead of moaning about discrimination in the navy. But it's still the same Hornblower we know and laugh at. All the Pseudo-Bloodpack have comedy distinctions, his should be a warcry that is just:
"HOOOORRRRNBLOWER!"
"I thought you were Lancelot?"
"Shut up Clive Owen. You got killed by Will Hunting in the Bourne film."
"Fair point. But I am going to be the next Bond."
"....I thought I was?"
"No, you're going to be the stretch man in Fantastic Four."
"I am?"
"Yes."
"Excellent. HORRRRRRRRRRRRNBLOWWWWER!"
"Don't do that."
"HOOOORRRRNBLOWER!"
"I thought you were Lancelot?"
"Shut up Clive Owen. You got killed by Will Hunting in the Bourne film."
"Fair point. But I am going to be the next Bond."
"....I thought I was?"
"No, you're going to be the stretch man in Fantastic Four."
"I am?"
"Yes."
"Excellent. HORRRRRRRRRRRRNBLOWWWWER!"
"Don't do that."
Hornblower's in it?
Same hair?
Same hair?
She can't act for much by the look of the trailer.
she looks like a pubesant teenager
I don't find Knightly attractive, She look so boring and simple. Notting special about her.
Page: