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"Red Star Kilbride"

That's my new five-a-side football team, I shall be playing at the Powerleague in Hamilton tomorrow night at 9pm if anyone wishes to see a genius as myself.

Now all I need to buy are boots, shin pads, socks, shorts and a red top.

I'll stab you if you don't score

Ah damn, I'm going to get stabbed if I score.

Aye, you need an armoured personnel carrier to get through Hamilton.

Yes, you can.

Also, saying we're from my town means they'll think we're middle class softies and kill us.

Since it is Hamilton and all

So can I be offical kit washer or not?

You'd better wear body armour as well, they probably all carry knives.

We sound cool so shut up

Every team in our league has Yer Maw in it.

Yer Maw's United
We're Better Than Yer Maw
etc

your team sounds like a right bunch-o-poofs

Why aren't you called "Ninja Stars of Death from Hell" or some such other fantastically cool name instead of Red Star Poofs.


I was the best defender in my school - call me on the celly if you need a sub

Beat Us And We'll Batter Ye

Haha

Haw lavy heed, yoor gettin it!