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"SSC8 - Empty"

The crimson stream of my humanity flows, promising to protect, and to enclose. Hosted near is dirt and earth, its damp will aid in giving birth. To a creature, a stealer, a loner, who thrives and lives off me, a donor. I unclasp my eyes from a sleeping guise; scars still remain through your scolding lies. I was everything I could be, everything I thought you wanted me to be. You supped like a baby from my bosom of kindness.

You leech of love.

I had loved you since the instant I knew what love was; you were ideal, ripe with beauty, and devoid of any flaws. I remember the day you sold me my very first kiss, a moment in my life of complete and utter bliss, if only I had known it was a kiss to reminisce; reminisce with a tearstained pain of what could have been. In reality I had kissed a leech who’s clasp over my lips never slackened. Drinking my raw red till drained; you lapped affection like it rained, my veins now forever strained, by you, in life unchained.

Then you left.

My blood and flesh and skin diffused, my soul and mind and spirit abused. Cannot sleep, I forever weep, I feel your fangs in my skin deep. Every tear dribbling down my face is a tear for you, and how I pray embrace. Now you own the stock of me, when you hurt, it hurts me. I care for your warm company, I’m dreaming of your voice, and when your lips meet mine, these wounds will crust, rejoice.

I need you, despite my attempts of denial, I need your touch, and I need your smile. You’ve burrowed your way under my skin, down to my deeper depths way, way within. You know me, you know when I’m calling, so why do I feel like I’m forever falling? Being with you, leech, is like an eternal comfort, the more people you love the more chance of getting hurt. We’re made together, star-crossed, without you I feel simply lost.

And there you were.

Ready to cling onto me, and ingest my soul for good, gleaming of perfection, outside my door you stood. We kissed and kissed and broke apart, your distant gazes warmed my heart, us together, from the start.

You, manipulating leech, you. Crawling back, lurching on my mouth, before moving down a little south. Yet I love you still, always have always will, you’re like a drug, an addictive pill. We grip each other tight, both us brimming with delight. You use me, use me all the time, we don’t pretend, its petty crime.

I tip you back, cup your head in my arms; a smile is response to these sweetest of charms. We fall together, passion ignited, both us soon to be eternally united. This is supposed to be the time of my life; I’ve discovered my future, who I’m to make my wife.

Yet in all this excitement I’m wondering where my heart is, my mind is, my sense is, and why.

I'm meant to be happy.

I'm not a great fan of rhyming things so this didn't appeal to me as such.

However, saying that, I do think it is nicely put together.

I'm a hopeless fan of rhyming things and this piece not only read but flowed deliciously, but there were a couple of instances when the rhyming was forced - im sure you'll know what I mean if you scan over it a couple of times. Still, a consistant high quality of writing and a nicely adapted version of my own disjointed one line style ... with rhyme!

I don't know how you kept the rhythm going.

An outstanding piece.

Indeed, I expect another tale of love with this topic, but I think (and hope) that the rhyming and obscured way to end the piece will set it apart from the couple of other love stories that'll probably be a lot different.

Thanks a lot, again, for the really encouraging feedback.

Read it again. Simply unbelievable. Sure-fire winner.

Excellent. Only thing is I hope everyone doesn't write about the same thing in this comp, because my story is roughly on the same lines as it is anyway. Great stuff though. (Y)

That was superb, your wise use of words has left me stuck for them, all I can say is excellent, Mr. Burns Style.

Thanks for the kind words, I must admit it was the most difficult piece I've ever written, and I'm immensely relieved that people are enjoying it.

Just funking outstanding, tremendous.

Mmm ... tasty.
Winnar so far.