Viewing Thread:
"SSC7 - Sublime Assassin"

Yes, I know, I've already entered once, but I care not if it isn't accepted, I just felt creative and managed to churn this out. Opinions please.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

There! There he goes. Watch him as he weaves his way between trees, sub-tropical rocks and pools. No, you lost him again. That is the beauty of this man, this creature, this most veiled of assassins. He lives in the reflected shadows of our very own workings, he uses our environment to his content.

On the rare occasion that you notice a dash of purple, the customary colours of this lurker flutter amongst forestry, one moment is all it takes for the ninja-like gymnastics at his disposal to come into effect, concealing his location once more. Rumours whisper that he has been spotted running along the tops of trees at hurtling speeds, before plunging into the unbeknown wilderness that covers the forest floors 100ft below.

A strike of mystery pierces through the otherwise unvoiced woodland; distant pitter-patters can be traced amongst the bedded leaves. Although these calls sound far-flung, the irony is that they ring much closer, but for the guise of a soft touch of ones sole. Energetic and camouflaged he is, but also deadly. A sublime killer, he is.

Yes, in all probability you’re on his list.

With his ill-fated victims, all a cast of the rich and pompous villagers, he leaves a set of tiny golden stars chained to the wrists and neck of his fallen selection. The plague of gashes that remains on the prey suggests beatings. Paper-thin slices of skin remain flaking away from the body, chopped and diced by justice, by hatred, by anger, and by revenge; a blade of sanction.

They say that after a flirt with acrobatic attack, this most cerebral and differentiated of hitmen resorts to a sharply layered cord of golden spikes. Grating the neck of his sufferer, our resident of darkness throttles the throat with firm hands, suffocating them with a sweet pill of opinion. He then, just seconds before the beckon of death’s bony hand, sheds full spotlight to his identity; only these foolish fatalities can know who has foiled them.

After the abundance of conflict has ground to a halt, an aura of satisfaction sweeps the surroundings. If breaking an entrance to commit such a deed was achievable, escaping equally undetected is no mean feat for this persistent killer. Not a day drowns by without speculation brought about by village and forest folk of when he’ll strike next, but some people’s guilty conscious leads them to living in panic. Change is not enough for this man; he’ll strike down anyone and everyone until the village is rid of hate. Ironic, is his form of action.

Ironic also is the fact that every member of this community spontaneously presumes that this sublime assassin is male, without second thought. The reality is quite different.

HE, HE, HE.

I can’t see any man in this village being spared.

The tightly cloaked offering of the shadows’ temperament will soon be fused again. There's still plenty of pitiful fodder making bad use of flesh and organs.

Brilliant.

Enjoyed that one too, Ash - you're starting to write a bit more towards the kind of style I enjoy reading. Some wording seemed a little out-of-place next to the otherwise nicely flowing narrative, but it's nonetheless a well finished piece that's hard to fault.

Yay, a dark story! Hehe, makes a change ;) (In context of this comp, it does!)

Nicely done, some bits were great, others a little laboured at times, but nothing to really dampen the story. The only thing I'd say is when describing the assassin's techniques, why not leave it obscure? I always find that things unexplained and unclear are more scary/dark than stuff that is clinically explained - which yours isn't, but you know what I mean. Right? ;) Just a thought.

Good story.

Nice. A man hating female assassin.

Very, very nice.

I enjoyed that one, thanks.

I forgot to mention I love the word "flirt" used in the context which you utilised it.

It's a fantastic and underused word.

Thanks for the comments.

Forest, I had originally planned for it to be the beginnings of a diary or letter, and to suddenly, half way through the piece, have a sort of:

"David lost grip on his pen, seeing it fall to the floor..."

Which would lead into him basically getting killed off by the Ninja, and seeing that it was a woman right before death. But yeah, I felt after hours of toiling that I couldn't make the transfer successfully.

Thanks also FFF and Para...

EDIT: ...and Black Glove, sneaking in as always, thanks. :^)

"suffocating them with a sweet pill of opinion" - this stood out as being a bit of a strange line, but overall I liked it. Good one.

Very descriptive but not overly so.

Sweet, short and stinging.

I likes.

Nice one.
Good to see someone actually followed up on the hitman idea about 4 people randomly had.

Good sense of mystery and snappy imagery.
Sounded a but like MGS3 at the start ...

Very different style to what I was imagining. Kept thinking that it was going into a story with dialogue, but the narrative kind of style - worked. I can only imagine this must have been a difficult story to write with some of the emotional descriptions used, without characters to expand upon. Thoroughly enjoyable and in some parts even a little dramatic as the picture was built up. My only criticism (if I may) was the finish. I was really expecting some sort of strange complex to finish what had been a piece shrouded in mystery, but it was a little too direct and slightly out of place I felt.

A piece I feel I and others could aspire too. Great read.