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"A scallie's/charve's/townie's/ned's visit to SR"

So my friend Jarred was all like “Yo ‘dox, smoke some of this shiznit” and I’m like “Yeah pass that here G” so I was all messed up on whatever was in the rollup he made, probably tobacco, and I stumbled home to find my mum cooking tea. She squares up to me and she’s like “You’ve been with Jarred smoking that crazy tobacco again, haven’t you” and I’m like “Shut up ‘ho, you ain’t my real mama!” and she’s all like “You want fish fingers and chips for tea sweetie” and I’m like “Yes thanks mummy”

So I kick off my Prada shoes I got from the market and head up to my crib (aka the box room that overlooks the adult book store) and snap my Pentium 6 500gbz 200 horsepower computer on. I hacked into Google and searched for “free games” and I ended up at some place called Ukchatforums.com, and I’m all like “yo, what’s going on blud?” so I read how to win and copied a review from gamespot, hahaha they’ll neva know, I’m a l33t HaXoR! If I win I’ll get Pro Evo 5 because then I can kick the ref. My mate Jarred kicked a guy in the head once, and his head exploded and he went to prison but he escaped and now he works in Boots.

So I was going to go to a night club but I was way too stoned on my Malboro lights so I stayed in and went to ukchatforums.com and saw a thread by a sexy young girl called Azul, she’s Scottish. I asked for her msn but she told me to cut my nob off with a blunt iron stick. I like it when girls play hard to get, I’ve had sex with at least 650 girls, not like I’m counting or anything. So I finally got Azul’s msn address of some bloke called Mystique, I think he fancied me too. So I start talking to Azul and I’m pulling all my fly moves like “Yo you dropped sumthing, my jaw” and she’s like “OMG WTF LMFAO”, I knew I was SO in there. So I got her number and some dude answer and started swearing at me, so I told him I’d get my boyz to drive by him, and he’s like “bet you don’t even have a car fagzor” and I’m like “I got a G Reg corsa, spaz” and he reckons it’s a woman’s car, but its not because Ricardo, my main man who’s a fashion guru or something has one and he’s a top bloke, he’s a boxer and stuff.

So I came back to Ukchatforums the next day for a new girlie and found some hot chick called Wakka who told me she was a porn star. I haxored a porn site once, hotmale.com or something, it was PHAT! So I added Wakka to my msn and she’s like “wanna cyber?” and I’m like “yeh cool” so I put my cam on and whipped out the old twig and berries and started pumping with my hand, and she put her cam on and took her panties off and she had a DONG! I’m all like “EWWWWWW” and she’s like “I’m pre-op!” and I’m like “Cool, cool” so I kept pumping anyway, because I’m a laid back kinda guy.

After like two days three hours and fourteen minutes or something, not that I was counting, I went back to gameaday and I hadn’t won, so I haxored the site and installed a proxy worm Trojan virus thing and it caught on fire. So this staff gal called Snuggly or something gay emailed me, she was totally hot for me and said something about prosecuting me for hacking; she might as well have said “lets have sex now”, so I asked her for her number and she’s all like “County court judgement”. So I got all angry and trust me blud, you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry! So I start backchatting about whooping his ass and raping his cat and ‘were the hells my gameaday fool’ and he’s all like “Screw you slaphead, I’m calling the FBI or CIA or FIFA or something. So I split and went to see Jarred for some crazy tobacco and he’s all like “ukchatforums? Sounds gay” and I’m like “innit blud”

But communism is so great...

MoJoJoJo wrote:
> is like saying Hitler gave to Jewish charities.

You dirty RACIST. I hope you get BANNED.
COMMIE.

MoJoJoJo wrote:
> But to even consider a radgie using a PC, and knowing stuff like
> "haxorz" is like saying Hitler gave to Jewish charities.


He released a number of evil raccoons into the wild; anything's possible Mr. MoJo.

"My mate Jarred kicked a guy in the head once, and his head exploded and he went to prison but he escaped and now he works in Boots."

Amazing.

But to even consider a radgie using a PC, and knowing stuff like "haxorz" is like saying Hitler gave to Jewish charities.

That was ... familiar.

phi11ip wrote:
> *points*
>
> To the archives!

Yesh mate I know you've written a load of stuff. It's just that since they made general chat and "FOG chat" perished there has been a distinct lack of originality.


> To the Goldeneye 'Archives' level!

Facility is SO the better level!

mikelar wrote:

> There's no need to get so angry just because I pointed out that
> you're obviously too dumb to think up your own material.

Look dude I'm not angry I'm just offended you think I am "dumb" as you put it. I copied an idea, dude I'm sorry.

Paradox wrote:
> Mikelar's adoring fans are wetting themselves at his humour.
>
> But WAIT, didnt another person take the p*ss out of canned laughter
> before?
>
> "HAHHA I EXPOSED U AS A COPYING FRAUDDD! OMG LOL!"


har har. I think the difference is, I didn't try to win a GAD with my copying you imbecile.

There's no need to get so angry just because I pointed out that you're obviously too dumb to think up your own material.

*points*

To the archives!

Oooooh, actually, I might go and play Goldeneye.

*points again*

To the Goldeneye 'Archives' level!

Meh well I'm sorry for making an effort to entertain.

Would you rather I gave it a shot or posted "Were can I find cheats for 1080 snobordin?"

Seriosuly man, it's so much easier to criticise than to create.