Viewing Thread:
"SSC7 - The Sublime"

Here they come. Eight of them, all six foot. None of them make a sound, just a gentle creak as their feet edge up and away from the cold floor. I squint past the door in vain, hopeful of catching a glimpse of them. I’ve been here before. Twice now they’ve done this, but my heart has never chimed so hard. Never hurt so much. Never sunk so low. They close in. Their figure is visible now. An undefined black object appears to be approaching the door. I count them again. Nine of them, all over six foot. Hints of red enter the picture. These are their tags and this is their name; ‘The Sublime’.

How they found me, I don’t know. Why they still want me, I don’t know. How will it end, I think I know, as the chase heightens. I close the door in haste. I bite my lips, clasp my hands and tense every muscle in my body. I’ve never been this scared. I hear a knock. It sounds surprisingly feeble at first, but then the assault on my door gets louder and my breathing quickens. I peer through the spy hole, willing to delay the inevitable opening of the door and confrontation. Every second gained is a moment more to contemplate my fate and say my prayers. I let out one final gulp of air and firmly release the door. Ten figures in black stare me down, all huge. One of the figures pulls me by the arm; the others just stand and stare. I let out a whimper and then the figure stops. I eye the figures in a rationalizing type of manner. All I see are the same emotionless hard figures. I open the dialogue in the naïve optimism that I can cool the heat of the moment. I face the largest figure, with a face not dissimilar to that of a bear. My mouth quavers with fear, as I attempt to spill out every syllable from my near uncontrollable and chattering teeth.

“How did you find me”, is my first question. I lock eyes with the largest figure, he’s not about crack and neither am I. After an awkward wait, I begin to doubt that I will hear any response. Only a slight smile is the largest figures’ retort. A little shuffling of the feet is his next move, he retracts slightly and I feel I have made some ground on him. Then it gets serious and the talking begins. It’s almost as though he’s denied my question ever existed as he begins his first enquiry. He beckons my presence. I decline. He objects and soon the situation turns nasty. Suddenly, ‘The Sublime’ surround me, as far as they are concerned they own me. That’s what they think, I don’t object. I let out another small whimper; that’s the last I remember. I open my eyes, I look at the clock, six. I slowly roll my eyes towards the doorway, to my relief I see no figures, just a black jacket with a red tag. It reads ‘The Sublime’. I hear a voice. I turn. There’s a figure behind me, the figure that appears like a bear. I hear a whisper; I’m told they’ll be back. I don’t doubt them, I’ve been here before. They didn’t use to be like this; the only question wringing through my ears, are what they will be like next time as my eyes fix on the single, massive black figure disappearing into the horizon and beyond.

Forest Fan wrote:
> *POP*
>
> Just popping this story for judging today. Still haven't had those
> 'serious' SSC comments yet Cyclone. :)

harhar

Anyway. Good entry, nicely done. I didn't quite see the link to the 'Sublime', but then again it is not up to me to decide what that means to some people and what it doesn't mean to others. If you see what I mean. Write more FF, because you can actually be an alright person, regardless of, um, 'other' events.

Ineedsleep wrote:
> Missed this before so no idea what the last line was but reckon it
> ends rightly there if there is only one line been deleted.

I could post it, but it was shocking. Nice to hear positive feedback from a such talented writer and future judge of this comp. :)

Yeah, the last line was unnecessary and rightly removed. Ripping it straight out was the best option.

You're lucky I haven't had any comments at all :)

Missed this before so no idea what the last line was but reckon it ends rightly there if there is only one line been deleted.

I enjoyed the story. Thank you.

*POP*

Just popping this story for judging today. Still haven't had those 'serious' SSC comments yet Cyclone. :)

After all the advice, I have edited the last line out. I agree - the story looks much better left unfininished, because of the mysterious style in which it was written.

This was good. Again, last line could have been left out, but other than that it was pretty atmospheric.

Light wrote:
> Hmm...that was a pleasant surprise. Not my cup of tea, but the mere
> fact that you're attempting to express some portion of your own
> imagination should be applauded.


*chuckle*

Hmm...that was a pleasant surprise. Not my cup of tea, but the mere fact that you're attempting to express some portion of your own imagination should be applauded.

Thanks to all for the positive feedback/constructive criticism.