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Being brought up in Cornwall means that you grow up not knowing how uncool everyone is who lives there. Cornwall is always 10 years behind everyone else in terms of fashion and I was always ten years behind everyone in Cornwall. I wasn't a hip teen but then again I never wore a shellsuit or sandals. However I did do something that still brings me terrible shame when I recall it, like I did on then train to work this morning.
One day, when I was about 13-14 I went to the hairdressers. I had a specific cut in mind and in order to make sure that I got what I wanted I took a visual aid with me. I patiently waited my turn after the ladies who worked there had asked my the question "what can I do for you?". Me "a hair cut". So after sitting there for an eternity reading out of date football mags, I got the prompt to take my place in the chair. I duly sat down and got straight-jacketed by the coverall and then timidly stuck my hand out of the sides holding a crumpled piece of paper. On the paper was a promo poster for Leathal Weapon and a picture of Riggs (Mel Gibson) holding a gun, sporting a mullet.
"Can you cut my hair to be like his please?"
Awkward silence.
"Yeah right it's like good to show us what you want".
So let's analyse what I was doing. I was asking for an imitation of the worst hair style imaginable and I was expecting that Debbie, the 17 year old YTS trainee was going to be able to deliver it for me. All for the kingly price of £4.
She started to hack at my hair with the blunt implement that passed as scissors and a deep and meaningful conversation ensued.
Her: "So d'ya know Gary?"
"No. What year is he in?"
"Sixth form"
"I'm doing my GCSE's I don't know any sixth-formers."
"Do you know Jamie?"
"No. Who's Jamie?"
"He's Gary's mate, in the year above him".
"Mmmmmmngh"
"Do you know Pete?"
"No, I DON'T KNOW ANY sixthformers!".
"He's not a sixth-former, he's in prison".
"Ah for f**..."
Then when I least expected it, the clippers where nipping at my ears, shredding the back of my neck and chewing my hair up. Hold on, clippers? You can’t create Rigg's mullet (which I though was a flowing mane at the time) with clippers. What! A shiite short back and sides was the result of my efforts.
So I embarrassed myself, my family, friends, men and my country and I never got what I wanted anyway.
Please tell me you've done something this bad? Please. I can't live with the shame.
One day, when I was about 13-14 I went to the hairdressers. I had a specific cut in mind and in order to make sure that I got what I wanted I took a visual aid with me. I patiently waited my turn after the ladies who worked there had asked my the question "what can I do for you?". Me "a hair cut". So after sitting there for an eternity reading out of date football mags, I got the prompt to take my place in the chair. I duly sat down and got straight-jacketed by the coverall and then timidly stuck my hand out of the sides holding a crumpled piece of paper. On the paper was a promo poster for Leathal Weapon and a picture of Riggs (Mel Gibson) holding a gun, sporting a mullet.
"Can you cut my hair to be like his please?"
Awkward silence.
"Yeah right it's like good to show us what you want".
So let's analyse what I was doing. I was asking for an imitation of the worst hair style imaginable and I was expecting that Debbie, the 17 year old YTS trainee was going to be able to deliver it for me. All for the kingly price of £4.
She started to hack at my hair with the blunt implement that passed as scissors and a deep and meaningful conversation ensued.
Her: "So d'ya know Gary?"
"No. What year is he in?"
"Sixth form"
"I'm doing my GCSE's I don't know any sixth-formers."
"Do you know Jamie?"
"No. Who's Jamie?"
"He's Gary's mate, in the year above him".
"Mmmmmmngh"
"Do you know Pete?"
"No, I DON'T KNOW ANY sixthformers!".
"He's not a sixth-former, he's in prison".
"Ah for f**..."
Then when I least expected it, the clippers where nipping at my ears, shredding the back of my neck and chewing my hair up. Hold on, clippers? You can’t create Rigg's mullet (which I though was a flowing mane at the time) with clippers. What! A shiite short back and sides was the result of my efforts.
So I embarrassed myself, my family, friends, men and my country and I never got what I wanted anyway.
Please tell me you've done something this bad? Please. I can't live with the shame.
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SHEEPY wrote:
> Also, my hair went really curly for about half a year. I'm still not
> sure why. I had this greasy, curly afro.
>
> I got called pube head
Teachers can be so cruel.
> Also, my hair went really curly for about half a year. I'm still not
> sure why. I had this greasy, curly afro.
>
> I got called pube head
Teachers can be so cruel.
SHEEPY wrote:
> I got called pube head
I weep for you.
I got my head shaved once, i weeped for myself.
> I got called pube head
I weep for you.
I got my head shaved once, i weeped for myself.
Also, my hair went really curly for about half a year. I'm still not sure why. I had this greasy, curly afro.
I got called pube head
I got called pube head
the sagacious one wrote:
> Imagines the Chuckle Brothers in a hairdressers using a hacksaw to cut
> someone's hair.
> ....
> brains fall out
Heh, I've not laughed til it hurt for ages, thanks. The mental picture was perfect... :^D
Ah, lame hair. I used to live in devon, which isn't much better. I looked like Ringo Starr for the first 6 years of my life :^s
At the moment it's not much better. It's now just about the length of an Italian footballer's, but no doubt lamer.
I might get it cut soon, but I wanted to try it long at least once in my life...
> Imagines the Chuckle Brothers in a hairdressers using a hacksaw to cut
> someone's hair.
> ....
> brains fall out
Heh, I've not laughed til it hurt for ages, thanks. The mental picture was perfect... :^D
Ah, lame hair. I used to live in devon, which isn't much better. I looked like Ringo Starr for the first 6 years of my life :^s
At the moment it's not much better. It's now just about the length of an Italian footballer's, but no doubt lamer.
I might get it cut soon, but I wanted to try it long at least once in my life...
I usually have my hair rather short but I decided to grow it longer just out of curiousity and having quite thick hair I grew some sort of uncurly afro - it looked like a big dollop of brown cotton wool stuck to my head.
monkey_man wrote:
> You should hear the idea me and Snuggly had for the Chuckle Brothers
> funeral.
Pray do tell.
> You should hear the idea me and Snuggly had for the Chuckle Brothers
> funeral.
Pray do tell.
Cornwall > all
You should hear the idea me and Snuggly had for the Chuckle Brothers funeral.
Imagines the Chuckle Brothers in a hairdressers using a hacksaw to cut someone's hair.
"To me"
"To you"
"To me"
"To you"
"To...Barry his scalp has come off"
"Don't worry, it'll grow back"
"I don't think so"
Cue comedy use of mirror with stuck on picture of a man with good hair and scalp attached to his head. The man is fooled but ends up realising something is amiss when he bends down to pick up a quid coin on the pavement outside the barbers and his brains fall out.
"To me"
"To you"
"To me"
"To you"
"To...Barry his scalp has come off"
"Don't worry, it'll grow back"
"I don't think so"
Cue comedy use of mirror with stuck on picture of a man with good hair and scalp attached to his head. The man is fooled but ends up realising something is amiss when he bends down to pick up a quid coin on the pavement outside the barbers and his brains fall out.
Actually, didn't you once put gold streaks in your hair, Snuggly? Paul and Barry would never do that.
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