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"FECKING URGENT HELP NEEDED - involves suicide and guilt and stuff."

Right, a very good friend of mine (Mary - name changed) is talking to me on MSN, and she's very unhappy.

Two years ago today a close friend of hers hanged herself off a motorway bridge.

Mary is feeling guilty, very guilty about this. Mary is convinced that the girl had had it all planned out before hand, and that the girl was making subtle hints about it all day to Mary.

Mary is possibly very close to doing the same, she's a messed up girl.

What can I say or do to Mary to try and help her out?

Serious answers only.

Please.

~~~

UPDATE; She's not going to top herself. Thank God. But she's still insanely guilty.

I'm not joking around but did you really need these people to tell you this?

Surely it's common sense to tell her not to do it.

Timmargh wrote:
> Remind how her family or friends would feel if she went through with
> it.
>
> Explain what her mum or dad would think if they thought that she felt
> she couldn't talk to them about it.

That's what I'd say too. It'll probably make her feel guilty, but guilty is good.. Hope she gets through ok.

AliBoy wrote:
> Go over to her house and talk.

Nottingham.. London..

If only.

There is some stuff you can say over MSN but its far better to talk in person. Go over to her house and talk.

If she is too far away then do as others suggested, talk to her to try make her feel good about herself.

I'm not going to joke around here, but don't tell her not to do it- just try and make her calm down and change her mind. Apparently this is a good method, something that the Samaritans use a lot.

Remind how her family or friends would feel if she went through with it.

Explain what her mum or dad would think if they thought that she felt she couldn't talk to them about it.

If she did plan it all out then chances she would've gone out of her way to avoid dropping hints - people only do that sort of thing if they want you to stop them, like a cry for help, and they'll make them really obvious.

A friend of a friend rang me one day and asked me to tell someone else that he was gonna top himself knowing that a) I would try and stop him and b) the friend he wanted me to tell would, too. Apparently he'd been dropping hints to him all day and he hadn't noticed ...

I'm not even going to joke about this.

Make her feel special, make her feel needed, and wanted.

Erm, crikey.

Tell her that if her mate planned it all out then nothing short of tying her to a chair would've stopped her. People who actually go through with suicide are 99% of the time too far past their desperation/depression/whatever barrier to bring them back. Even if they're stopped they'll usually try it again at a later date.

Dunno if any of that'll help.

You can only tell her and try to convince her that it wasnt her fault she didnt pick up on any hints.