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I thought it might be worth writing a sort of informationy topic on this, as it's quite an interesting subject and I can tell you a bit about it... and besides, getting things down on paper in different identities helps me understand it a lot better.
I would imagine the common perception for multiple personalities is for a single person to have more than one person living inside him. I.E. A guy called Jim (a carpenter from Liverpool) may also sometimes become a woman called Barbara at weekends, who talks like a Texan and likes collecting flowers.
And while that can actually happen, it's missing quite a few structural details of the whole process. Yes, people can 'turn' into other people, but there's a strange amount of confusion, not just in the public, but doctors too.
Because of the controversy over a certain case where doctors accidentally encouraged the patient to split their personality further, the name 'Multiple Personalities Disorder' was scrapped, and was changed (by a much more logical person) to Dissociative Identity Disorder.
Before I continue, it's best to state a point.
People cope with pressure and stress in very different ways. Some people, when stressed and worried, tend to lose their temper, shout at people. Others just close up, others need to smoke, drink, engage in some sort of comfort. Others do yoga.
It's whatever we've found to do, our natural way to combat it.
Ok, now imagine you're a seven year old girl, and your dad just raped you. Sorry if that seemed a bit harsh, but I'm trying to get a point across.
I doubt anybody would be able to say they could just accept it and continue on, loving their parents and their life and not even bothering to think much of it. The problem would be, you're scared and you can't escape from it... you're bound to be affected.
I guess you could create something, paint, write, play with dolls, act. Do anything to take your mind off the worry and the pain and the fear. I'd imagine a good few artists had been born that way, creating to forget, to lose themselves.
However, there's another option that doesn't always seem that obvious. The point of removing fear and worry is for survival, and the human instinct for survival, especially in childhood, is amazing.
The option that I'm focusing on, is when the girl would take all she is, all she loves and keeps close to her heart, the way she thinks about her friends and all she loves to do, packages it up, and sends it to the back of her mind, then she escapes by believing she's a different person.
Why would she do this? Like I said, survival. Let me explain.
Sometimes, if you concentrate hard enough, you can believe anything you want to. If you have the imagination you can pretty much sculpt any sort of world you can think of. The reason the girl hides away all she was, is because she's trying, in a survival attempt, to believe that the pain is happening to someone else.
So she splits herself. Two girls begin to form.. firstly, the girl that can still love her parents, who can play with her friends and continue life just like before... and the other girl, who takes the pain, who knows what happened and has to cope with it.
And that's how 'multiple personalties' starts, and is also why it was renamed 'dissociative identity disorder'. The girl dissociates herself, removes whatever she doesn't like and puts it in a different identity. It's self-hypnosis because, basically, of fear for her life. Her original personality remains, either developing on it's own, or locked up, hardly to be touched again.
Basically from that moment, it becomes a defence mechanism. If you don't like something about you, no worries, you can just split it off and put it in a different identity.
As this happens from such a young age, these identities then start maturing (If indeed, they're allowed to even show themselves). As mentioned, perhaps they're locked away, and may remain immature.
The different personalities that the person creates are called 'alters'. The alter that's currently in control of the body and mind is the 'host'. Unless deep personal watch is kept, the person will find it very difficult to be aware that they 'switch' to different personalities, as it's obviously very natural to them, added to the fact that their mind is already blocking out any signs that may give the switch away. After all, it's just trying to survive, and this is the way it's found. Usually, you'll find the host, whoever that would be at the time, has difficulty understanding the other alters.
Switching alters in the general population is much more common than you think. As a very basic example, you always find yourself behaving differently with different people. With a bunch of friends, you may be joyful, game for a laugh and extroverted... with family, you may become more sensible, reasonable. All different characters that you play.
Going a bit further with that, you can be a different person when serving customers in a shop, and a different one again when washing dishes. Are you the same personality when you have sex, and when you're playing on an X-Box? We all employ different emotions and act different when we feel the need to.
The think with DID is, they don't just change to do tasks, they change their entire system, the way they think and behave, because they need to become someone else to escape themselves. Just like you protect your emotions from showing during poker, to stop people from seeing you bluffing, you close yourself off to your mind, to stop yourself from going insane.
You may have heard of the 'left brain' and the 'right brain'. The left brain handles science, math, physics and understanding, while the right brain handles imagination, creativity. It's believed, if you cut straight down the middle, you could split yourself into two people, and never know they existed seperately. A scientist, and an artist.
A left brained person (scientist) would be logical and rational. They would think in a sequential way, and be analytical of their situation and surroundings. They look for objectives, and they look at the details of something, instead of the bigger picture.
A right brained person (artist) would be a random thinker, letting their thoughts spray off in a muddled way. They are much more intuitive and holistic, believing there is more to life than the sum of it's parts. They look for the bigger picture, but spend much more time in their mind, becoming much more subjective.
Now, most people picture one side and stay there pretty much all the time. However, with DID, more often than not you'll find them bouncing between the two sides. It's a wonderful gift, but it does make life -very- confusing.
I believe I have four identities. I've named three of them after characters I've created, because well, those characters were based on me anyway.
The first I've named Leon, which is who I am now. Leon is the hollow, empty one that was given life so I could escape to him. If you just knew him, you'd probably think I'm quite normal/boring. He's definitely the identity I spend most of my time being these days, and also the only one that's not really bothered about being asked 'So, which personality are you now?' Leon is a little of each brain, but mostly left, being a scientist.
The second is Grix, not my original personality but the very first created one to escape to, to balance me. He became my dominant personality on these forums for a long time, and eventually my life too. Grix is the happy flowery poncy poet, who Goatboy is in love with. Naturally, Grix is right brained, the artist.
The third is named Seiyo. He's a bit more confusing, has little care for anyone or anything, and was created as a kinda guardian angel. He's basically protecting me from letting loose the parts of my personality that I've buried deep and locked away. He's much more angry than the rest of my alters, and you first met him as Grix's Brain, who some older members may remember. After realising how important he was to my sanity, I quickly stopped using that as a character, and he developed into a fully switchable identity. Seiyo is the scientist, very left brained.
The fourth is my original personality, which I've, um, misplaced. I've also scattered parts of my personality that I didn't like, which are locked deep away. I've just bundled them all up as the fourth, because well, it's all me. The fourth is basically the one I created Grix to escape from.
Personally, that leaves me a bit lost. Grix was created to balance out the feelings of Seiyo, and Leon was created to escape to because both were difficult to be all the time.
I cannot switch at will. Seiyo is triggered by hatred (seeing people doing disgusting vile things), Grix is triggered by love for someone or something, Leon lies inbetween.
I've told you this because there's a tiny bit more to explain about, and I need to use myself as a better example.
With my three different personalities, I have conflicting fears. This is a major problem with DID.
In a timeline, I have had my original personality, then I created Grix, and then soon after, on these forums, Seiyo.
Now, logically that would all I should have created, just the two. There's no real reason why Leon should come along, as I already had two to escape to. This is where it gets a little odd.
Leon was created, basically, because Grix and Seiyo both became incredibly detailed and powerful, and more importantly, polar-opposites. Not only were they using completely different sides of the brain, but they had different fears too.
Grix fears control and needs to lose it occasionally. Seiyo fears lack of it. Try and imagine what it'd be like to have two different identities having a hissy fit inside one mind. Neither of them using words, only feelings, trying to stretch and pull the mind one way and then the other, unable to decide which side of the mind to use. Naturally, it feels uncomfortable.
Leon was created because I needed to escape from that. I needed one that could fit inbetween that I can sit nicely in. Without Leon, I could have pretty much been diagnosed as bi-polar, or manic-depressive, which is interesting at least. Leon, also for me, provides this sort of outlet, where I can diagnose myself a little better, and learn how to balance myself out and live the best I can.
Are alters really that different? Yup. Personally I have noticed my IQ, my thinking pattern, my taste in food/music/film and women, my memories, my loves and obsessions, and even how easy it is to get me drunk changing. Just in case you're interested, Seiyo can drink Grix under the table.
Relationships are impossible. My emotional response changes from alter to alter, making me very hard to predict (and almost impossible to be controlled unless I'm constantly one alter, poor women can't control me so easily, must be terrible.).
I lose time when I switch, sometimes the whole memory of what I was doing, which is the only clue I'm really left that I've switched or been someone different. One time, I bought a pork-pie and a pint of milk from Tesco, which I had to walk two miles to get, and I didn't notice.
Grix knows more about my childhood than he wants to believe, as does Seiyo. Leon (who I am currently) knows little.
Naturally, it brings on depression, and I can't really say which alters are more depressed than the others. Grix can be very self-destructive, which is probably why he used to write so much bloody poetry.
Um, so yes. Hope that's interesting if you read all that. Naturally it's to help me understand it to, but er, yeah.
I would imagine the common perception for multiple personalities is for a single person to have more than one person living inside him. I.E. A guy called Jim (a carpenter from Liverpool) may also sometimes become a woman called Barbara at weekends, who talks like a Texan and likes collecting flowers.
And while that can actually happen, it's missing quite a few structural details of the whole process. Yes, people can 'turn' into other people, but there's a strange amount of confusion, not just in the public, but doctors too.
Because of the controversy over a certain case where doctors accidentally encouraged the patient to split their personality further, the name 'Multiple Personalities Disorder' was scrapped, and was changed (by a much more logical person) to Dissociative Identity Disorder.
Before I continue, it's best to state a point.
People cope with pressure and stress in very different ways. Some people, when stressed and worried, tend to lose their temper, shout at people. Others just close up, others need to smoke, drink, engage in some sort of comfort. Others do yoga.
It's whatever we've found to do, our natural way to combat it.
Ok, now imagine you're a seven year old girl, and your dad just raped you. Sorry if that seemed a bit harsh, but I'm trying to get a point across.
I doubt anybody would be able to say they could just accept it and continue on, loving their parents and their life and not even bothering to think much of it. The problem would be, you're scared and you can't escape from it... you're bound to be affected.
I guess you could create something, paint, write, play with dolls, act. Do anything to take your mind off the worry and the pain and the fear. I'd imagine a good few artists had been born that way, creating to forget, to lose themselves.
However, there's another option that doesn't always seem that obvious. The point of removing fear and worry is for survival, and the human instinct for survival, especially in childhood, is amazing.
The option that I'm focusing on, is when the girl would take all she is, all she loves and keeps close to her heart, the way she thinks about her friends and all she loves to do, packages it up, and sends it to the back of her mind, then she escapes by believing she's a different person.
Why would she do this? Like I said, survival. Let me explain.
Sometimes, if you concentrate hard enough, you can believe anything you want to. If you have the imagination you can pretty much sculpt any sort of world you can think of. The reason the girl hides away all she was, is because she's trying, in a survival attempt, to believe that the pain is happening to someone else.
So she splits herself. Two girls begin to form.. firstly, the girl that can still love her parents, who can play with her friends and continue life just like before... and the other girl, who takes the pain, who knows what happened and has to cope with it.
And that's how 'multiple personalties' starts, and is also why it was renamed 'dissociative identity disorder'. The girl dissociates herself, removes whatever she doesn't like and puts it in a different identity. It's self-hypnosis because, basically, of fear for her life. Her original personality remains, either developing on it's own, or locked up, hardly to be touched again.
Basically from that moment, it becomes a defence mechanism. If you don't like something about you, no worries, you can just split it off and put it in a different identity.
As this happens from such a young age, these identities then start maturing (If indeed, they're allowed to even show themselves). As mentioned, perhaps they're locked away, and may remain immature.
The different personalities that the person creates are called 'alters'. The alter that's currently in control of the body and mind is the 'host'. Unless deep personal watch is kept, the person will find it very difficult to be aware that they 'switch' to different personalities, as it's obviously very natural to them, added to the fact that their mind is already blocking out any signs that may give the switch away. After all, it's just trying to survive, and this is the way it's found. Usually, you'll find the host, whoever that would be at the time, has difficulty understanding the other alters.
Switching alters in the general population is much more common than you think. As a very basic example, you always find yourself behaving differently with different people. With a bunch of friends, you may be joyful, game for a laugh and extroverted... with family, you may become more sensible, reasonable. All different characters that you play.
Going a bit further with that, you can be a different person when serving customers in a shop, and a different one again when washing dishes. Are you the same personality when you have sex, and when you're playing on an X-Box? We all employ different emotions and act different when we feel the need to.
The think with DID is, they don't just change to do tasks, they change their entire system, the way they think and behave, because they need to become someone else to escape themselves. Just like you protect your emotions from showing during poker, to stop people from seeing you bluffing, you close yourself off to your mind, to stop yourself from going insane.
You may have heard of the 'left brain' and the 'right brain'. The left brain handles science, math, physics and understanding, while the right brain handles imagination, creativity. It's believed, if you cut straight down the middle, you could split yourself into two people, and never know they existed seperately. A scientist, and an artist.
A left brained person (scientist) would be logical and rational. They would think in a sequential way, and be analytical of their situation and surroundings. They look for objectives, and they look at the details of something, instead of the bigger picture.
A right brained person (artist) would be a random thinker, letting their thoughts spray off in a muddled way. They are much more intuitive and holistic, believing there is more to life than the sum of it's parts. They look for the bigger picture, but spend much more time in their mind, becoming much more subjective.
Now, most people picture one side and stay there pretty much all the time. However, with DID, more often than not you'll find them bouncing between the two sides. It's a wonderful gift, but it does make life -very- confusing.
I believe I have four identities. I've named three of them after characters I've created, because well, those characters were based on me anyway.
The first I've named Leon, which is who I am now. Leon is the hollow, empty one that was given life so I could escape to him. If you just knew him, you'd probably think I'm quite normal/boring. He's definitely the identity I spend most of my time being these days, and also the only one that's not really bothered about being asked 'So, which personality are you now?' Leon is a little of each brain, but mostly left, being a scientist.
The second is Grix, not my original personality but the very first created one to escape to, to balance me. He became my dominant personality on these forums for a long time, and eventually my life too. Grix is the happy flowery poncy poet, who Goatboy is in love with. Naturally, Grix is right brained, the artist.
The third is named Seiyo. He's a bit more confusing, has little care for anyone or anything, and was created as a kinda guardian angel. He's basically protecting me from letting loose the parts of my personality that I've buried deep and locked away. He's much more angry than the rest of my alters, and you first met him as Grix's Brain, who some older members may remember. After realising how important he was to my sanity, I quickly stopped using that as a character, and he developed into a fully switchable identity. Seiyo is the scientist, very left brained.
The fourth is my original personality, which I've, um, misplaced. I've also scattered parts of my personality that I didn't like, which are locked deep away. I've just bundled them all up as the fourth, because well, it's all me. The fourth is basically the one I created Grix to escape from.
Personally, that leaves me a bit lost. Grix was created to balance out the feelings of Seiyo, and Leon was created to escape to because both were difficult to be all the time.
I cannot switch at will. Seiyo is triggered by hatred (seeing people doing disgusting vile things), Grix is triggered by love for someone or something, Leon lies inbetween.
I've told you this because there's a tiny bit more to explain about, and I need to use myself as a better example.
With my three different personalities, I have conflicting fears. This is a major problem with DID.
In a timeline, I have had my original personality, then I created Grix, and then soon after, on these forums, Seiyo.
Now, logically that would all I should have created, just the two. There's no real reason why Leon should come along, as I already had two to escape to. This is where it gets a little odd.
Leon was created, basically, because Grix and Seiyo both became incredibly detailed and powerful, and more importantly, polar-opposites. Not only were they using completely different sides of the brain, but they had different fears too.
Grix fears control and needs to lose it occasionally. Seiyo fears lack of it. Try and imagine what it'd be like to have two different identities having a hissy fit inside one mind. Neither of them using words, only feelings, trying to stretch and pull the mind one way and then the other, unable to decide which side of the mind to use. Naturally, it feels uncomfortable.
Leon was created because I needed to escape from that. I needed one that could fit inbetween that I can sit nicely in. Without Leon, I could have pretty much been diagnosed as bi-polar, or manic-depressive, which is interesting at least. Leon, also for me, provides this sort of outlet, where I can diagnose myself a little better, and learn how to balance myself out and live the best I can.
Are alters really that different? Yup. Personally I have noticed my IQ, my thinking pattern, my taste in food/music/film and women, my memories, my loves and obsessions, and even how easy it is to get me drunk changing. Just in case you're interested, Seiyo can drink Grix under the table.
Relationships are impossible. My emotional response changes from alter to alter, making me very hard to predict (and almost impossible to be controlled unless I'm constantly one alter, poor women can't control me so easily, must be terrible.).
I lose time when I switch, sometimes the whole memory of what I was doing, which is the only clue I'm really left that I've switched or been someone different. One time, I bought a pork-pie and a pint of milk from Tesco, which I had to walk two miles to get, and I didn't notice.
Grix knows more about my childhood than he wants to believe, as does Seiyo. Leon (who I am currently) knows little.
Naturally, it brings on depression, and I can't really say which alters are more depressed than the others. Grix can be very self-destructive, which is probably why he used to write so much bloody poetry.
Um, so yes. Hope that's interesting if you read all that. Naturally it's to help me understand it to, but er, yeah.
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Grix Thraves wrote:
> Thank you. :) Can't help but feel I know you, by the way.
>
And you are...??? I don't believe we've ever met. But, the feeling is good, yes?
> In saying about growth and maturity, how old do you think I am? I'm
> interested because not many people ever seem to get it right...
Given the forum, I'll take a stab at say...22, give or take a couple of years. Intuitively, however, I'll opt to give. Giving is good. But, that's another thread. Sorry!
> Thank you. :) Can't help but feel I know you, by the way.
>
And you are...??? I don't believe we've ever met. But, the feeling is good, yes?
> In saying about growth and maturity, how old do you think I am? I'm
> interested because not many people ever seem to get it right...
Given the forum, I'll take a stab at say...22, give or take a couple of years. Intuitively, however, I'll opt to give. Giving is good. But, that's another thread. Sorry!
Grix Thraves wrote:
> To be fair then, how can they prove the hemispheres have been
> completely disconnected?
Well, they're not actually joined by much - just a few fibres running between the hemisphere. I think it's pretty easy just to cut them apart - but then, there's always the risk of re-growth or even just getting strands touching.
>For me to say I have -any- understanding of
> the human mind would be completely ridiculous, but I'm sure there's a lot more to it then we truly understand.
I totally agree with you there - outside the physical dimentions of the brain, there's so much we don't know.
Wasn't it said that we only use about 2% of the brain's possible functions? Think what the hell would be possible with the rest.
I think the mind is much more powerful than anyone gives it credit for.
> To be fair then, how can they prove the hemispheres have been
> completely disconnected?
Well, they're not actually joined by much - just a few fibres running between the hemisphere. I think it's pretty easy just to cut them apart - but then, there's always the risk of re-growth or even just getting strands touching.
>For me to say I have -any- understanding of
> the human mind would be completely ridiculous, but I'm sure there's a lot more to it then we truly understand.
I totally agree with you there - outside the physical dimentions of the brain, there's so much we don't know.
Wasn't it said that we only use about 2% of the brain's possible functions? Think what the hell would be possible with the rest.
I think the mind is much more powerful than anyone gives it credit for.
lollistar wrote:
"I'll take a stab at say...22, give or take a couple of years."
Not bad at all, I'm 19. A few years ago people were mistaking me for mid thirties, so maybe I'm getting less mature. Fantastic. :D
About the joins of the brain, I'm definitely thinking along the more mental joins than physical. I don't believe simply cutting the few strands that connect them will do that much at all, there's got to be more to it than that.
"I'll take a stab at say...22, give or take a couple of years."
Not bad at all, I'm 19. A few years ago people were mistaking me for mid thirties, so maybe I'm getting less mature. Fantastic. :D
About the joins of the brain, I'm definitely thinking along the more mental joins than physical. I don't believe simply cutting the few strands that connect them will do that much at all, there's got to be more to it than that.
Well, I'm not a scientist, I've never studied brains (though I believe I am in the posession of one that works, at least some of the time), so I can't really comment other than the fact that you seem to be able to take any subject and turn it into a fascinating piece of reading.
But, and here's one for the conspiracy theorists, how do we know that this isn't one of your personalities writing this to keep us all off the scent of the true personalities? Or perhaps one of your personalities believes they have their own personalities (is that possible?) When it gets to the stage where you can't remember things, how do you know what is real and what is imagined anyway?
But, and here's one for the conspiracy theorists, how do we know that this isn't one of your personalities writing this to keep us all off the scent of the true personalities? Or perhaps one of your personalities believes they have their own personalities (is that possible?) When it gets to the stage where you can't remember things, how do you know what is real and what is imagined anyway?
You can't, I've given up trying. :) The problem being, is my memory pretty much going completely.
How do you know any of your memories are real? You can't, you have no real truth apart from the images in your mind, the belief they happened.
But what if they didn't? What if your imagination created false memories and planted them in your mind over time? And why?
In the end you have to run a fine line between truth and belief. Accepting that you can never know the full truth, and you'd spend the rest of your life looking for it if you didn't give in. Your belief is the only comfort you can take.
As from that, I can never tell you the 'truth'. I can only tell you what I believe, what I think is real. If that's wrong, then I apologise, and I'll try and correct myself again.
And by that, is it ever right to trust in what you believe? So many times I've found myself wrong, what I thought to be the truth at the time turned out to be nothing. Should you just take everything you believe with a pinch of salt, or dive head first into whatever you think is right?
Interesting tangent.
How do you know any of your memories are real? You can't, you have no real truth apart from the images in your mind, the belief they happened.
But what if they didn't? What if your imagination created false memories and planted them in your mind over time? And why?
In the end you have to run a fine line between truth and belief. Accepting that you can never know the full truth, and you'd spend the rest of your life looking for it if you didn't give in. Your belief is the only comfort you can take.
As from that, I can never tell you the 'truth'. I can only tell you what I believe, what I think is real. If that's wrong, then I apologise, and I'll try and correct myself again.
And by that, is it ever right to trust in what you believe? So many times I've found myself wrong, what I thought to be the truth at the time turned out to be nothing. Should you just take everything you believe with a pinch of salt, or dive head first into whatever you think is right?
Interesting tangent.
I'm sure I have something relevant to say on this, but right now I can't think what. T'was a fascinating read, though.
That was interesting. If only to understand the reasons for your identities.
I can actually empathise, to a degree. I wouldn't say I had more than one identity really, but I can disassociate emotion at times. Maybe it comes with the job, maybe it's just bottling itself up. But I know that whatever it is, it means I can actually watch somebody die in front of me and not feel a thing, but at other times get worked up over irrelevant things.
It doesn't really affect me much, I've certainly never had memory loss or anything like that due to it. Once upon a time I knew a psychologist who was convinced that I had MPD or something and that I'd had a severe emotional trauma when I was a child. I didn't by the way. Although I had a neighbour called Mrs Bytheway. Whatever, I can't really claim to understand it.
All I know is that at times it can be annoying. It's probably also a tad dangerous, for me anyway. Simply put, emotionless Biggles doesn't really give a £$%^ and does rather wreckless stuff.
Anyway Grix, that was rather honest of you and I sort of feel honoured that you think highly enough of us to have even posted that. Take care dude.
I can actually empathise, to a degree. I wouldn't say I had more than one identity really, but I can disassociate emotion at times. Maybe it comes with the job, maybe it's just bottling itself up. But I know that whatever it is, it means I can actually watch somebody die in front of me and not feel a thing, but at other times get worked up over irrelevant things.
It doesn't really affect me much, I've certainly never had memory loss or anything like that due to it. Once upon a time I knew a psychologist who was convinced that I had MPD or something and that I'd had a severe emotional trauma when I was a child. I didn't by the way. Although I had a neighbour called Mrs Bytheway. Whatever, I can't really claim to understand it.
All I know is that at times it can be annoying. It's probably also a tad dangerous, for me anyway. Simply put, emotionless Biggles doesn't really give a £$%^ and does rather wreckless stuff.
Anyway Grix, that was rather honest of you and I sort of feel honoured that you think highly enough of us to have even posted that. Take care dude.
Curious.
Im afraid thats all i can find to say.
Im afraid thats all i can find to say.
This is exhausting. The frustration of trying to figure where all the peices fit and always ending up one piece short, that is.
Very interesting. It never fails to amaze me how complex the brain really is that so much stuff can be happening simultaniously. Thx for the post, most enlightening
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