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[URL]http://www.aintitcool.com/display.cgi?id=17704[/URL]
This sounds brillliant. Every new Seagal movie gets the thumbs up from me, simply because he's now the movie equivalent of those dumb old bears they get to dance on hotplates - they look like they're having fun and whooping it up, but when the music stops, they go back to their cave and start crying.
Seagal movies are ace. Even the titles are fantastic. What movie would you rather go and see, one called 'Cold Mountain' or one called 'Out For A Kill'? Only one title guarantees definite at least one killing, and that's the one with the Kung Fu Elvis in it. His new movie is called OUT OF REACH, and is about a wise old sage (Seagal, natch) who lives in a forest and has a young Turkish female pen pal, who gets kidnapped and stuff. Read the review from the link at the top, and I think you'll agree, it sounds like the most hilarious movie of his career (I particularly liked the bit about his voiceovers not even being done by him).
This paragraph made me laugh, simply because it reminded me of a story written by our very good friend Goatboy called 'Log in the Creek' (have to take credit for that title) about a wise old sage (Wings Hauser, natch) who lived in a woods and fought off Chains Keenly (David 'White Afro Nasty' Hasselhoff) who kept trying to shut the woods down. Here it is:
"Seagal plays Billy Ray Lancing, an ex-"CSA" hermit living in a cabin in the woods, where "he spends most of his time by himself, wandering the forest, looking for injured animals." We first see him stomping around stuffed into a giant trenchcoat, nursing an injured bird to health. I am more appreciative of the fat-Elvis period Seagal is in right now than almost anybody on earth, but man he looks scary in this opening scene. I swear to to Christ's Jesus he looks like Bigfoot wearing a bad Dracula wig with a mullet in the back."
Seagal rules.
This sounds brillliant. Every new Seagal movie gets the thumbs up from me, simply because he's now the movie equivalent of those dumb old bears they get to dance on hotplates - they look like they're having fun and whooping it up, but when the music stops, they go back to their cave and start crying.
Seagal movies are ace. Even the titles are fantastic. What movie would you rather go and see, one called 'Cold Mountain' or one called 'Out For A Kill'? Only one title guarantees definite at least one killing, and that's the one with the Kung Fu Elvis in it. His new movie is called OUT OF REACH, and is about a wise old sage (Seagal, natch) who lives in a forest and has a young Turkish female pen pal, who gets kidnapped and stuff. Read the review from the link at the top, and I think you'll agree, it sounds like the most hilarious movie of his career (I particularly liked the bit about his voiceovers not even being done by him).
This paragraph made me laugh, simply because it reminded me of a story written by our very good friend Goatboy called 'Log in the Creek' (have to take credit for that title) about a wise old sage (Wings Hauser, natch) who lived in a woods and fought off Chains Keenly (David 'White Afro Nasty' Hasselhoff) who kept trying to shut the woods down. Here it is:
"Seagal plays Billy Ray Lancing, an ex-"CSA" hermit living in a cabin in the woods, where "he spends most of his time by himself, wandering the forest, looking for injured animals." We first see him stomping around stuffed into a giant trenchcoat, nursing an injured bird to health. I am more appreciative of the fat-Elvis period Seagal is in right now than almost anybody on earth, but man he looks scary in this opening scene. I swear to to Christ's Jesus he looks like Bigfoot wearing a bad Dracula wig with a mullet in the back."
Seagal rules.
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Sounds delightful *licks finger*
[URL]http://www.aintitcool.com/display.cgi?id=17704[/URL]
This sounds brillliant. Every new Seagal movie gets the thumbs up from me, simply because he's now the movie equivalent of those dumb old bears they get to dance on hotplates - they look like they're having fun and whooping it up, but when the music stops, they go back to their cave and start crying.
Seagal movies are ace. Even the titles are fantastic. What movie would you rather go and see, one called 'Cold Mountain' or one called 'Out For A Kill'? Only one title guarantees definite at least one killing, and that's the one with the Kung Fu Elvis in it. His new movie is called OUT OF REACH, and is about a wise old sage (Seagal, natch) who lives in a forest and has a young Turkish female pen pal, who gets kidnapped and stuff. Read the review from the link at the top, and I think you'll agree, it sounds like the most hilarious movie of his career (I particularly liked the bit about his voiceovers not even being done by him).
This paragraph made me laugh, simply because it reminded me of a story written by our very good friend Goatboy called 'Log in the Creek' (have to take credit for that title) about a wise old sage (Wings Hauser, natch) who lived in a woods and fought off Chains Keenly (David 'White Afro Nasty' Hasselhoff) who kept trying to shut the woods down. Here it is:
"Seagal plays Billy Ray Lancing, an ex-"CSA" hermit living in a cabin in the woods, where "he spends most of his time by himself, wandering the forest, looking for injured animals." We first see him stomping around stuffed into a giant trenchcoat, nursing an injured bird to health. I am more appreciative of the fat-Elvis period Seagal is in right now than almost anybody on earth, but man he looks scary in this opening scene. I swear to to Christ's Jesus he looks like Bigfoot wearing a bad Dracula wig with a mullet in the back."
Seagal rules.
This sounds brillliant. Every new Seagal movie gets the thumbs up from me, simply because he's now the movie equivalent of those dumb old bears they get to dance on hotplates - they look like they're having fun and whooping it up, but when the music stops, they go back to their cave and start crying.
Seagal movies are ace. Even the titles are fantastic. What movie would you rather go and see, one called 'Cold Mountain' or one called 'Out For A Kill'? Only one title guarantees definite at least one killing, and that's the one with the Kung Fu Elvis in it. His new movie is called OUT OF REACH, and is about a wise old sage (Seagal, natch) who lives in a forest and has a young Turkish female pen pal, who gets kidnapped and stuff. Read the review from the link at the top, and I think you'll agree, it sounds like the most hilarious movie of his career (I particularly liked the bit about his voiceovers not even being done by him).
This paragraph made me laugh, simply because it reminded me of a story written by our very good friend Goatboy called 'Log in the Creek' (have to take credit for that title) about a wise old sage (Wings Hauser, natch) who lived in a woods and fought off Chains Keenly (David 'White Afro Nasty' Hasselhoff) who kept trying to shut the woods down. Here it is:
"Seagal plays Billy Ray Lancing, an ex-"CSA" hermit living in a cabin in the woods, where "he spends most of his time by himself, wandering the forest, looking for injured animals." We first see him stomping around stuffed into a giant trenchcoat, nursing an injured bird to health. I am more appreciative of the fat-Elvis period Seagal is in right now than almost anybody on earth, but man he looks scary in this opening scene. I swear to to Christ's Jesus he looks like Bigfoot wearing a bad Dracula wig with a mullet in the back."
Seagal rules.
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